Tuesday, January 24, 2012

"People just come up and touch your hair?"




"I also think in this day and age, it's the easiest thing to just label somebody as a racist, and kind of, it's often an unfair thing, 'cause it's a very difficult thing, to, to defend yourself, unless there is actual proof."

"Did you worry about hurting her feelings when you made this video?"

"I guess the flip side is you don't want people watching everything they say, and feeling like everything is a minefield. Which, around this subject, I think a lot of people do."


Okay, seriously, Mr. Cooper? You have completely missed the point. This is a prime example of why certain people should not be allowed to go on national TV and talk about topics which they have no knowledge of and clearly cannot relate to.

The video was not about calling people racist. (Although, I definitely would say, and have said, that all of those comments are racist.) The video was not about Franchesca making fun of her white friend. The video was not about censoring white people, even those who regularly say ignorant things to black people. The video (and the second video, hooray!) was about black women and the offensive statements that they have to deal with on a daily basis. This was not a time to deal with some audience member's "privilege tears" (at 4:45), Anderson Cooper. This was definitely time for an Oprah moment.

I was irritated when I watched that Anderson Cooper video on the YouTubes yesterday morning. I felt better after I watched the following video last night:




This guy gets it. And he is articulate as well. ;) He made me miss Mr. Smooth.Link


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Monday, January 23, 2012

"We all want to see a black film made . . . just not distributed."



"Is there a guy named Pookie in the movie?"

"We are not racist. I have one African-American friend who I am very close with."


Oh, the sad hilarity. I need my own African-American friend.


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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

"No. You're black. That's it."






"To have somebody that didn't know anything about my culture telling what Latino was . . . How do we speak again? . . . How should I dress?"



"You're not one or the other. You're both, and you should be proud of both, and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it. There is nothing to be ashamed of."



I know where the Dominican Republic is! How do people not know that? It's on the other side of Haiti. Next you'll be telling me there are U.S. citizens who have never heard of St. Thomas. A likely story.


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Monday, January 09, 2012

"Hey, do you know a Tyrone Jenkins?"



I found this video while looking up stuff about this gentleman who was featured in this article.

The article was inspiring. The video was both highly amusing and depressing due to my ability to relate to it, because 1) I've been there, and 2) I'm still there! I remember dealing with the questions and statements featured in the video while I was in college. Over a decade later, I continue to hear the same inanity spewing from people who you'd think would know better.

Below are my attempts to the thoughts or questions posed in the video. If you have either asked or been asked any of these things, please share in the comments! And yes, I do have white friends who happen to be female. I also have white friends who happen to be male. I have multiple friends of various colors and genders. The asking of and being asked these questions is not exclusive territory for any of them.

Begin video now:

  • You do sound racist. Prefacing your racist statement does not eliminate the racism.
  • I don't need to hear about any of your racist relatives and/or friends. Telling me about how terrible they are doesn't make you look any better just because you are not like them.
  • There is plenty of White Entertainment Television. Switch your TV set to On. Turn to any channel. If you are in the United States, there is probably a white person on your screen. If there is not, wait five minutes and there will be. I myself partake of an unhealthy amount of White Entertainment Television on a daily basis. It is hilarious and/or compelling, depending on the genre.
  • I don't complain about slavery all the time: I try to sleep eight hours a day, and I also carve out moments in my schedule for meals. If your ancestors were slaves, though, I would like to hear about it. I appreciate the histories of all people.
  • Yes. No matter what 30 Rock tells you, it is bad to do blackface.
  • It is not okay for anyone to say the N word. Except Mark Twain.
  • I need more black friends, too.
  • No. No twinsies.
  • I have my own lotion, and plenty of it. I learned in Girl Scouts to "be prepared." Yes, I was a Brownie. No, that's not racist!
  • Stop saying ghetto! This makes me Hulk angry. More Lou Ferigno classic Hulk than contemporary Bana or Norton. I also enjoy Lou in The King of Queens. Funny!
  • I don't care what you think about "black guys." I didn't ask.
  • That does not look like me.
  • I didn't do anything to your computer. Stop being weird.
  • Take your stinking paws off me!
  • No, it's not all real. No. No.
  • That's how my hair grows. Don't hate.
  • I have actually heard the phrase "Brillo pad" used multiple times in reference to a black person's hair, in person. How is that okay to say?
  • Yes, that did hurt. Get your mitts off me!
  • Yes, we can. So can you.
  • Cheetos?
  • As I mentioned before, the only person I know named Tyrone is white.
  • I have never been "holler"ed at, but I have gotten "girlfriend" multiple times from the same two people, one lady and one gentleman. If either of you is reading this, welcome to my blog! And please stop calling me "girlfriend." It makes me embarrassed. For you.
  • He could "get" what? Herpes? What are you talking about?
  • You don't like rap? You're the one watching the Kanye video, buying the Jay-Z album, drinking Vitamin Water, wearing your FUBU hat, Sean John jacket and Apple Bottom jeans.
  • Oprah!
  • Stereotypical? Like Oprah?
  • Oh, but I am.
  • I have seen it! It's hit or miss. And racist.


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Monday, January 02, 2012

"Top Gun."




(There is supposed to be an embedded video up there, but it isn't working. Boo. But you can watch it here, and have a laugh!)

I miss you, Big Gay Sketch Show.

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Saturday, December 31, 2011

I'm not into Kias,



but I do like the idea of ending war through dance. Hamsters! :)

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"You are one lucky lady."



Oh, Hank.

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Monday, December 12, 2011

I am a Stoner.


A Lucy Stoner, that is.

For the past two months, I have been fixated on this fact. Regarding most other issues, I think people should make their own decisions and select the path that is best for them. Like picking your favorite ice cream, supporting a World Cup team outside of your own country, or living a polyamorous lifestyle. You can choose your choice. Be you. Do what you do.

Except changing your name.

Don't do it.

I am so "free to be you and me" about many things, but about this, I am adamantly opposed. I have strong words and feelings. I have blogged about this before. I recently reread the very post I made three years ago on Feministe, probably my most commented-on post ever, and I giggled at my clever condemnations. I'm funny.

I have had an increasing number of friends, classmates, colleagues, and people I may have met before, either message me or request to connect with me on various social media sites, after they have changed their last name. My immediate internal reaction has been a perplexed, "who are you?" I am genuinely puzzled by individuals whom I either knew personally or in passing as "Jennifer Chang", who are now contacting me as "Jennifer Valenzuela", and expecting me to know who they are, without a note or a picture attached. Dude, give me a heads up. I wasn't invited to your wedding, so how am I supposed to know that you changed both your last name and your cultural heritage? Unless you have a striking first name like Fantasia or Ivanka or AnnaSophia, I'm going to need more to go on before I can attest that we "went to school together" or "associate with the same professional organization."

If I was invited to your wedding, thank you, friends! I still heart you, and I will call you whatever you like, even Princess Consuela Bananahammock.

For more on this subject, I direct you to these posts on Weddingbee, a division of eHarmony:

How to *Not* Change Your Last Name, by Mrs. Prairie Dog.

On Having Second Thoughts, by Mrs. Parasol.

Maiden Voyage, by Mrs. Bruschetta.

and

Not Changing, by Mrs. Cinnamon Bun.


These ladies are all much more polite in their musings than I am in mine.

Readers, feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments section!

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Saturday, November 12, 2011

"Party, party, party, party!"



Even though I haven't been to Pier 1 in almost a decade, I'd love to find a talking penguin who speaks to me.

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Tuesday, November 01, 2011

"What about my stories?": My reaction to 50/50.


I saw 50/50 recently, and the movie told a great story, based on real life events, about a man who discovers he has cancer. Heartfelt messages, entertaining tale.

That said, I didn't like the movie.

I couldn't get past the unnecessary implicit and explicit misogyny poured onto almost every female character in the movie, and onto women in general, whom Seth Rogen's character suggested should be fellating their boyfriends on demand. Later, the lack of colorful people rubbed me the wrong way, although I did appreciate the not one, but two Asian doctors. [Insert eye roll here.]

Like X-Men: First Class, 50/50 left me with the sad realization that my stories, like many other people's stories, will never be told. Often artists and activists make that statement like this: "Unless we tell our stories, they will never be told." But some stories just won't be told at all. I am writing as fast as I can, but I can't possibly write everything about me and produce everything about me. I'm only one person. Similarly, other writers and ideamakers who happen to be nonwhite, nonmale, nonstraight, or some combination of those signifiers cannot independently produce enough content to compete with "mainstream" (white, male, heteronormative and/or misogynistic) projects at the same level, or in many cases, at any level at all.

You might ask, "why can't you just enjoy a movie like 50/50 for what it is, instead of criticizing it for not representing you yourself personally?" My answer is, "Because I am tired of doing that." I had done that all my life. I have read thousands of books and stories, and have watched hundred of movies and television shows. The works have disproportionately featured white male American heterosexual protagonists and main characters and authors, especially from the books and movies and plays and television shows that I have been required to consume throughout my education.

"But," you might continue, "cancer is relatable to everyone. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is playing an everyman." Yes, cancer is relatable. I have been directly and indirectly affected by family and friends and teachers and other loved ones who have had cancer. Some have survived and some have not. But I am not a white man, and 50/50 truly tells the story of a white heterosexual man in America (and his exclusively white family and friends and girlfriends) who is comfortably employed, despite refusing to learn how to drive, and has a health care plan that takes care of all his medical expenses, even when he stops working. I mean, I do have a lot of white friends, but really? Black friends, apply here! Other colorful people are welcome, too.

For readers who may need a better visual, what if every story, book, television show, comic book, every medium of artistic and educational expression was dominated by authors and characters and celebrities like . . .

Amy Hill,


Amy Tan,


Ann Curry,



Connie Chung



and Lisa Ling?

Occasionally, we could interject some

comedic stylings from both Henry Cho


and Steve Byrne,

hot dance moves from Rain


and fake psychic sidekicking from Tim Kang.


But then we would get back to who is really important, the thought shapers and culture makers like

Lucy Liu,


Margaret Cho,


Michelle Kwan,


Michelle Yeoh,


Jeannie Mai,


Ming-Na

and Sandra Oh.

I would provide links for all of these people, but I don't even have time to compose this post, so exercise your privilege to Google these celebrities.

For those of you who made it through the lovely pictures, I ask you to continue imagining.

Imagine if all of the "period"/historical dramas you were spoon fed were set in Asia (instead of Europe), specifically in China (instead of in England), but occasionally in India or Japan (instead of in Germany or France).
Link
Imagine if Dean Cain could embrace his Dean George Tanaka roots by playing identifiably Asian characters, instead of white superhero, white convicted murderer, and his pivotal role on a very special episode of A Different World, in which Mr. Cain played Third Racist from the left.

Imagine if John Cho's story about his father's journey of freedom, walking from North Korea into South Korea, were in production as a major motion picture, not just a moving anecdote Mr. Cho conveyed to Jay Leno on The Tonight Show.

"But who would play his father?"

I hear John Cho's available.

That's all. Thanks for reading!

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