Let's see... I'll need room number two tomorrow for the Prosecutor scandal testimony.
Can't. Walter Reed scandal's in two. You'll have to use room number three.
But three's being used for the FBI illegal spying investigation. What about room one?
No good. That's for the Katrina hearings. Oh wait, never mind, that's Lieberman's committee...nothing scheduled there. You can have room one.
Hold up there, pard'ner. I reserved room one for the Valerie Plame scandal. Use room four.
Nah, four's taken. Investigation into bogus reasons for going to war.
Five? Nope. Torture scandal's in five.
Six? No can do. War profiteering scandal.
Seven? Nope. Subprime lending scandal.
Eight? Sorry. Abramoff scandal.
Nine? Booked. GSA scandal.
Ten? Nope. Boehner ethics scandal.
Shook down a Girl Scout. Made off with 43 bucks and a case of thin mints.
How about room eleven?
That's the men's room. But it's wide open.
Fine. I'll take it.
In other news, I am done with October Road. I couldn't get through the second episode. I love you, Bryan Greenberg (and you, too, Mr. Minkus), but Bryan, you do not have enough acting talent to carry a series, especially one this poorly written.
Open memo to Joseph Gordon-Levitt:
Please do a movie that makes me laugh. 10 Things is one of my faves, but I've already seen it at least 20 times. This depressing Lookout, Shadowboxer, Brick indie oeuvre isn't doing it for me. I don't care what those Sundance people are telling you; bring back the funny. Don't make me have to get my fix from buying Seasons 2-6 of 3rd Rock.