Tuesday, May 29, 2007

In my dreams last night,


Ben Foster and I were totally digging on each other.

In reality this afternoon, I got hit on by yet another old and probably crazy guy. He was pushing 50 and hanging out in a parking lot sans car for whatever reason. He wanted to know if it was hard to get in touch with me. He then requested I give him my number or I leave him my shoe. Did the Cinderella humor work on the ladies back in his day?

If only my dreams and reality were reversed. Then I wouldn't be sitting here blogging. I'd be at Ben's place right now. I hope he's not a smoker...

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Law Fairy says it best.


via Feministing, under the nausea-inducing post Dane Cook keeps it classy:

honwood:

slightly off topic, but is anyone else totally turned off by the new movie "knocked up"? everytime i see a preview i wanna scream

The Law Fairy:

honwood, yeah... that's got to be like the WORST romantic comedy setup EVER.

"Hmm, funny-looking one-night-stand guy knocked me up. SHIT. Oh well, I don't like the options of 1) abortion, 2) adoption, or 3) raising the child by myself or with someone I actually KNOW enough to enter into a committed relationship with, so I guess I'll just spend the rest of my life with a man who for all I know just gave me AIDS."

Yeah, genius plot there.

Okay, first? If you clicked on the classy link...who in their right mind wants to blow Dane Cook? (That was rhetorical, put down your hands.) I don't know anyone who wants to see him perform on stage, much less in their face.

Back to Knocked Up. In what universe would Seth Rogen's character end up with Katherine Heigl's character? Even if you look past the grave disparity between their levels of attractiveness, Seth possesses neither the wit nor the charm to lure a blonde shiksa-goddess like Heigl. The real Seth might have money and (relative) fame. But even in real life, Katherine is on Grey's Anatomy. Which hit TV show is Seth in again?

Oh yeah, that's right. Both of his one season, though critically acclaimed, shows got cancelled. Over five years ago.

Yeah, Seth was in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. But he wasn't the Virgin. He wasn't even the funniest sidekick.

Every time I see that stupid commercial on my TV screen, I feel like yelling, "Why this accidental pregnancy movie about the schlubby guy who inseminated a woman way out of his league? Why isn't it about the woman who got pregnant?!"

Because that's not how Judd Apatow rolls. In the words of Stephen Colbert, Judd's a man, and men know what men like. Apparently men like hairy, paunchy buffoons that can magically hook up with supermodels. Judd couldn't diverge from his winning formula and make a movie starring realistic women in humorous situations. Because women aren't funny. Don't you remember?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Don't do this to your kid.


From Yahoo! Answers:

Can you help me combine mondisa and kwezi to make up a name for my baby?

No.

My favorite response, from HERMANATOR:

Yes. "Kwezisa Doomedtofailure"

I refer you readers again to Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing. That website still makes me laugh. A combination of Mondisa and Kwezi would be almost as bad as the trend of pseudo-Welsh and Celtic names, names that most likely came from Arthurian legend and not from actual British ancestry.

Maybe this is why I didn't get into Harvard

(Click on the title, then scroll down for the reference.)

I haven't experienced any personal racial discrimination so far today. Hence, I found this article amusing when I discovered it on Gawker via Racialicious, filed under "Casual Racism": Blacks Terrorize Harvard Students.

Last weekend, on the bucolic Quad at Harvard University—typically, the site of a casual game of Ultimate, or perhaps an afternoon reading of some Shakespearean sonnets before English class—an unusual and, to some, frightening scene was played out. There were people throwing things! And running! And jumping! And most scary of all, every single one of them was black. So the Harvard students watching from their dormitory windows, growing increasingly agitated at the sights below, did what any normal, white Harvard student would do when they saw a large, seemingly unruly group of black people: They called the cops!

Except, well, oops—turns out it was just the Harvard Black Men's Forum and Association of Black Harvard Women...


My favorite comment was from flipper baby:

Harvard students must be shitty basketball spectators.

Ha!

In second place was GorgeousGeorge with

You see, this sort of thing would never have happened at Yale. Mainly because we didn't have any black kids on campus, but still...

That sounds exactly like the campus where Rory Gilmore spent her four (okay, 3 and 1/2) years.

Friday, May 18, 2007

I'm not an expert, but I play one on the interwebs.


Ever since I was a little kid, my friends have asked me for advice on relationships and dating. I'm not sure why, since I don't exactly have guys knocking down my door. That is, sane guys my age. I'm still attracting the old and/or crazy. Just today I had a relative stranger asking me if I was married, if I was hiding a ring on my hand, and did I have any plans for the weekend. The man was 50 if he was a day. Seriously, I do not know what possesses people. At least he didn't think I was a gas station prostitute.

Back to my friends. In the past few weeks, four separate friends have asked my opinion on online dating. This isn't that weird, considering we live in the 00s and my friends and I are in prime childbearing age. I guess I'm not the only one worrying about my vajayjay closing up from lack of use. Instead of going back to each of my friends and telling them about the article I read on Racialicious today, I've posted the link here, along with an excerpt: Craigslist Personals: Desperately Seeking Diversity Training, by Wendi Muse.

Some themes I noticed early on include:

1. Nicknames and food references are excellent ways to allude to race.
For example, white women are referred to as “vanilla” or “snow bunnies,” black women are referred to by a myriad of names involving “cocoa” and “chocolate,” and Latinas are almost always referred to as “spicy” or “exotic.” I haven’t seen “geisha” just yet used as a reference to Asian-American women, thank goodness, but I’m sure it’s next.

2. People like using juxtapositions a lot to imply stereotypes about certain groups. For example, I see a lot of things like this: “I am looking for a woman who is slim, drama-free, intelligent, and who has no children. No black or Latin women, please.” Though sentences like that are not connected, you can clearly connect the dots on your own.
I have neither drama nor children. Hmph.

There is more hilarity in the actual article, as well as in the numerous ads Wendi could not include for matters of, shall we say, poor taste and explicitness. (I hope that's a word.)

At the end of the comments that followed, I found the video below, explaining why asian guys can't get white girls.



I don't see why Phillip is having such difficulty finding a girlfriend. He's way cute. And much better looking than his white roommate with the "hairy arms" that mesmerize all the Asian girls. Maybe Phillip could contact one of my many pale single friends, since he's into the white ladies.

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Now, from the "someone needs to pee on him" files, R. Kelly Says He's One of the Great Ones.

R. Kelly, the embattled bad boy of R&B, made it clear this week that he is much, much more than a suspect in a notorious child pornography case. In fact, the prolific soul singer and songwriter told Hip-Hop Soul magazine that he’s the Martin Luther King and Muhammad Ali of today.

Huh?

That’s right. Robert S. Kelly, who is awaiting trial for allegedly performing the most unseemly sex acts with an underage girl (for which he has pleaded not guilty) and catching it all on tape, told the magazine:

“I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now," according to The Chicago Sun-Times.


Mmhmm. I liked the response posted by YaDezire1 at the BET.com boards:

i cannot do anything else other than laugh when i read something like this. i am starting to think that r. kelly is not in his right mind at all. he hasn't done anyhting [sic] other than make some good music and have sexual relations with many underage girls, and now he wants to go and compare himself to people who actually made a difference in this world!!! crazy!!

Crazy indeed. I'm still laughing at the idiocy of the self-described Pied Piper of R&B. What a doofus.

Must I give up The Office, too?

Or should I wait for Daily Show levels of offensiveness? FYI, Office writers, I haven't forgotten "A Benihana Christmas."

I've been reading the TWoP forums, and perusing the blogs on the interwebs. So far, most of the opinions about last night's Season 3 finale, "The Job," have been in the vein of, "I love The Office," "This is the best show ever!" and "Wow, I did not see that ending coming."

I didn't see the ending at all, because I went to sleep after Jim asked Pam on a date, but before the credits rolled. So I missed whatever Ryan said.

My problems with this episode were twofold.

1. It was too long. A lot of the scenes, especially the ones with Pam talking to the camera about how much she luvs Jim, were just filler. The show would have been more powerful in 22-minute form. Even in a Super sized form, it would have felt less drawn out than in those 44-minutes.

2. The writers are punishing the strongest woman on the show.

As erendiradali posted on the TWoP Office forums:


...There was way too much misgogyny [sic] in this episode--heck, in this season, what with having the strong, assertive role of Jan turn into a total psycho, self-destructive, semi-abusive fake-boobed weirdo. I am not sure if I will be watching next season because of this. Misgogyny [sic] is not funny. It's just pathetic.

How did Jan go from a competent executive to a raving loon in one season? I really don't get the transformation. Yes, Jan's meltdown in David's office was amusing, as were Karen's reactions to it. But the character assassination was revolting. The part that most disgusted me was Michael squeezing her new boobs in his office. And then the overall fact that she underwent an unnecessary surgical procedure to win back her lame boyfriend. A procedure that made her crazy from the painkillers. A procedure that probably eliminated any pleasure she used to get from her chest by deadening the nerves in that area. She got two bags of saline inserted into her chest in an attempt to please a man that was already dumber and less attractive than she was. Now she's supposedly going to be Michael's de-facto housewife? Does she have no marketable skills other than managing a failing paper supply company and having sex with Michael?

Yet another uppity career woman getting put in her place by a mostly male writing staff. It also exemplifies this problem, via Defamer: Hollywood Diversity Shocker: White Guys Still Doing All The Writing. Read the comments under the Defamer article for some bitter chuckles.

In other news, with Ryan finally escaping that dysfunctional relationship, I hope Kelly finds a new cute guy to date. Any suggestions for which actor should play her new beaten-down paramour? The CW has got a lot of people looking for work.

That network is such joke. Cancelling Veronica Mars, and renewing The Pussycat Dolls? That's a commitment to quality, Dawn Ostroff. Oh, and thanks for informing us that "nerds are really in right now, especially with the young set." I guess someone just got their Best Special Edition Ever! DVD of Napoleon Dynamite. Even the geezers at CBS are like, "Welcome to 2004, Dawn. At least we have actual kids in our programming. How old is Chad Michael Murray again?" Josh Schwartz better not ruin Gossip Girl. Ironically, the girl playing Jenny Humphrey, whose leading characteristic in the books is her topheaviness, has no boobs on the TV version. Weird.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Return of the Knapsack

My next post was supposed to be about how I poured a can of Coke in my toilet to get rid of the ring around the bowl. I got the idea from the Onion's special Mother's Day issue:

Household Tips For Women

Between juggling a career and a social life, today's woman has it harder than ever, we are told. As a service to our lady readers, The Onion would like to lighten their burden by sharing some tips to make things easier around the house...

...When you open yourself to the abundance of the universe, anything is possible... even getting a clean toilet with NO SCRUBBING! Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet, let it sit for one hour, and then flush it clean. You can use that extra sixty minutes of free time to believe, breathe, dream, laugh, or CELEBRATE what makes you UNIQUE!

I still had to spray the inside with Scrubbing Bubbles and clean it with the toilet brush to get the dirt above the water/Coke line.

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Today started off pretty ho-hum. Then I read today's Daily Trade Round-Up at Pajiba, entitled "George Lopez is Cordially Invited to Suck My Pajiba," written by The TV Whore. If the title wasn't enough, here is the passage that made me frown, emphasis mine:

And speaking of putting out fires, can I be the first to piss on George Lopez and put him out? Please. See, Lopez is raging after the cancellation of his show. ABC’s position is that the show would’ve been a money pit for the network, had it been renewed, but Lopez says that’s crap. He feels entitled (entitled!) to another season so the show can wrap up loose storylines. Plus, because his show outperforms “Notes from the Underbelly” (which was renewed) he plays — you guesed it — the race card: “TV just became really, really white again.” (No, George, it just became ever-so-funnier again. Because even if everything new is total crap, crap is funnier than you.) And in reference to (mother fucking) “Cavemen,” Lopez said, “so a Chicano can’t be on TV, but a caveman can? And a Chicano with an audience already?” And here’s the kicker … the clincher … Lopez called his show “an important show.” … … Fuck you buddy. Long and hard. You egotistical, bitter, unfunny twit.

Well. You know I had to say something:

I have never watched The George Lopez Show, nor do I ever plan to watch it, for the same reason that I will never voluntarily watch According to Jim or Still Standing. (Yet I do enjoy The King of Queens. Hmm...)

However, the statement, "TV just became really, really white again" is still valid. Every new show next season has a predominantly, if not exclusively, white cast. Besides the Grey's spinoff, I can't think of any new shows with nonwhite people as the leads. And if there are any new shows next season with nonwhite women as the leads--and not as the token ethnic friend--I might pass out from shock.

I'm not saying that George Lopez isn't a little bitter and quite full of himself. I am saying that his show was important in at least one way: it put a Latino family on the TV screen, in broadcast, no less. As far as I know, there won't be any other shows next season that are centered around a Chicano family, or any Latino families in general. That fact might not be important to you, Seth. But it is important to a growing number of Americans, like me, who are underrepresented on the television screen.

You choose do diminish Mr. Lopez's assertion by accusing him of "playing the race card," which is an judgmental statement in any circumstance, especially coming from someone with color and gender privilege in this society. If Mr. Lopez's show does outperform Notes from the Underbelly and the latter show, with an overwhelmingly white cast, is getting renewed, then I'm not seeing the problem with making a racial comparison. It seems disturbingly easy for you to dismiss Mr. Lopez's claims of racial injustice on network television. Fortunately for you, Seth, I doubt the day will ever come when white males will be underrepresented on TV. Therefore, you personally will never have the opportunity to play the "race card" you seem to loathe.

And? I was not a conversation ender. Other people continued to make comments afterward. Pretty cool, huh?

It's both stunning and disturbing to me how certain white males like The TV Whore are so quick to dismiss any accusation of injustice based on skin color or ethnicity, that is made by a nonwhite member, as "playing the race card." Like they would know. How many times have they been discriminated against based on their color or appearance? I don't know. I wish The TV Whore would tell me. I doubt he has any idea what it's like to go about your daily business wondering if someone treated you unfairly because of their preconceived notions about your race, color, ethnicity and/or gender. For further lack of insight into discrimination in the workplace, against women in particular, see Lance Mannion's initial post and subsequent halfway apology regarding hiring more female engineers.

I had a separate personal incident dealing with this concept today. It's still bothering me. I have talked about the incident with five separate people now, and I'm still not completely better. I'm talented and charming and delightful and insightful. I'm a freaking genius with an ambitious streak that is rarely seen outside the worlds of elite academics and career politicians. Yet for almost every day of my life since I graduated from high school, I have been involuntarily reminded of the knapsack and the things I can rarely do:

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.

19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.

23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.

27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.

28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.

30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.

31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.

32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.

34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.

35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.

37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.

38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.

39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.

42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.

44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.

45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.

50. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.


The numbers in bold--1, 2, 6, 24, 28, 32, 36, 42 and 50--all happened today. The rest of those listed above have all happened to me in the past week. This is my life.

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New Presidential candidate video below. I heard about Ron Paul on The Stephanie Miller Show this week, so I had to investigate. The funniest thing about the video? When the camera takes long shots of the stage from the side, I swear the candidates look identical. Not exactly shocking when it comes to the Republican party.

Ron Paul in Debate at Reagan Library (May '07)

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Ooh, one more thing. If you haven't heard the uproar about the latest Mary Jane figurine licensed by Marvel just in time for Spider-Man 3, you can read all about the outrage at When Fangirls Attack: Special "Outrage of the Week!" Edition. Lots of people had lots to say. I stopped counting the blog links at 50.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Conversation Ender: Harry Potter poster edition

As you all may know, I can be very opinionated with people I like and trust. Like with you readers. Oftentimes I get very passionate, and I share what I'm feeling. This is what happened last week when I read Dan Carlson's post, An Ignoble Spirit Embiggens The Smallest Chest, on his blog Slowly Going Bald. From the opening paragraph:

Emma Watson has been given a digital breast job in the Imax ads for this summer's Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I was reading along with the examples of other times this has unnecessary practice been done to prominent celebrities, nodding head, saying to myself, "Good job pointing out these things out, Dan." Then he made his fatal mistake:

It's not whether the images were designed to completely deceive the viewing public, but the fact that we as a public ask for and often demand these images...

...We ask for these things. You know? Sure, you and I don't, not an individual level, but we do. We as a people do. So I'm disappointed that it's happened again for Emma Watson, and I'm sure she's somewhere between pissed and mortified, since being a female teen on the world stage has to be a punishing existence. But, really, is anyone surprised?

Oh Dan.

Here's the comment I left in response:

we as a public ask for and often demand these images

Dan,

I , as part of the public, neither asked for nor demanded these images. Who exactly do you think Warner Bros. asked about the decision to give a 17-year-old girl (who is actually playing a 15-year-old) bigger boobs? I know I wasn't consulted. I don't think any other Harry Potter fans were consulted en masse either. Did I miss the big ad placed in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter? "Who wants Hermione to have more boobage? Call us now!" Don't blame the public for poor decision making on the part of a studio marketing team.

Additionally, equating the cover of Maxim or GQ with a poster for a movie based on a children's book is wrong. I don't think anyone in the Harry Potter cast expected to be sexually objectified when they signed up for the movie. The only person involved with this franchise that I remember releasing suggestive photos in the past year was Daniel Radcliffe. And I don't see any major alterations done to his body in any Harry Potter one-sheets.

I guess I'm not "surprised" because Mr. Radcliffe is male, and "we as a people" don't "ask for these things" from boys. " "We" just expect these things to happen to 17-year-old girls, whether they want them to happen or not.


That effectively ended the conversation on that post. Now, Dan is not a bad person. He seems pretty nice. The same day that I left the above comment, I also left a comment on his post, A Letter From HR, in which I politely asked him to define what the phrase "used a pica pole to scratch your chode" meant. And he replied with an explanation. But that just wasn't enough for me. I have to have it all, all the time. I want my every comment replied to on every blog that I comment on. I have issues, I know.

I will note that I restrained myself from criticizing Dan's finding humor in describing his female coworker as "cute enough to kidnap." I should get some kudos for that.

Sunshine and Overcast Drizzle


The raininess: I took my first practice full-length GMAT in my room today. It was so hard. I kept freezing on the work problems and the reading comprehension. I almost didn't finish the Quantitative section. I think I did okay on the Analytical Writing Assessment, which I only recently discovered doesn't count in your Total GMAT score. I have four weeks until the real exam, so I can do better. I am going to continue studying diligently. I need a hug.

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Sunshine: I was reading The Argonaut last night for the first time in years, and I came across this article, Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich is keynote speaker at West L.A. Democratic Club, by Helga Gendell. I should read this free newspaper more often. Here are some choice excerpts:

Kucinich said he wants to be a healing president, end the occupation of Iraq, and restate America's position in the world...

...On nuclear weapons, he said that it's not for the U.S. to pick who should or shouldn't have nuclear power, asking, 'Do we want the threat of extinction for our children and grandchildren?'

Kucinich advocates getting rid of all nuclear weapons, referring to the non-proliferation treaty that provides for all nuclear weapons to be abolished.

On abortion, Kucinich said that the ruling on partial-birth abortion by the Supreme Court 'was very destructive, and that Roe v. Wade has to be protected to protect women's rights to privacy and the right to decide, working with their doctor.'

America needs a culture that affirms life and heals, providing for pre-natal and post-natal care, a living wage, economic opportunities and giving people the right to make choices, he said.

Regarding immigration, Kucinich said, 'It's a great shame that slave labor is allowed to exist and that system needs to be stopped.'

'No fines should be paid (by immigrants), no one should be made to go back, and we should stop scapegoating immigrants,' said Kucinich...

...The education system is becoming dangerous, creating a two-class society, and education has become a privilege rather than a right, said Kucinich.

On the subject of student loans and tuition, the question is always, 'Where will we get the money?' said Kucinich.

No one asked, 'Where will we get the money when we went to war in Iraq and borrowed money from China to fight,' Kucinich said.

And my favorite part:

Another audience member asked if the candidate is still supporting a 'Department of Peace' to look at society's issues ' domestic violence with spousal and child abuse, school violence, gangs, guns, racial violence, anti-gay violence and police clashes with citizens ' and Kucinich said he had proposed a bill and that 62 members of Congress already support the idea.
I don't understand why all the mainstream coverage mocks Dennis Kucinich as a funny-looking kook with crazy ideas. He's no John Edwards, but he does have valid facts and opinions to add to the political discourse. I don't fully understand why NOW is endorsing Senator Clinton when Senator Clinton still hasn't apologized for essentially authorizing the illegal occupation of Iraq. Peace is good for women. War is not. I hate that I had to get informed about a two-time Presidential candidate by accidentally reading an article in the middle of my local newspaper. I should be getting this on my TV, front and center.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Teenybopper a-go-go


It started on Tuesday night when the second-to-last episode ever of Gilmore Girls being pre-empted by the Griffith Park fire. Here is the email I wrote to one of my fellow Gilmore Girls fans right after the "Breaking News" interrupted Lorelai's yammering:


Is it bad that I screamed out loud when KTLA preempted
Gilmore Girls with the Griffith Park brush fire? No, I
think it's even worse that I want them to get back to
the show. Especially since it's THE SECOND TO LAST ONE
EVER.

How about they put a crawl underneath the show saying,
"If you live near Griffith Park, get out now." That
would be more effective, considering they don't have
any crawl right now. It's just incendiary (so
inappropriate) shots of the fire.

Now I'm getting mad for a whole other reason. There is
no actual useful information on the screen. It
literally says, "Brush Fire" on the lower right on
screen. Because I couldn't tell from the giant flames
and smoke encompassing the screen. Why don't they tell
people what to do? Stop speculating about the
nonexistent winds and the other weather you still
don't know about, KTLA news guy whose name I forgot.
Tell people if they should leave and where they should
go. And tell people if they should avoid work in the
area tomorrow.

Now there is a shot of a guy recording this on his
cell phone. Good job, KTLA. Now I know where not to go
for news I can use.

Ooh, I feel a post coming on.

And the post did come on, albeit four days later. And apparently, I wasn't the only angry TV viewer that night. My friend then left the following comment on my MySpace page:

KTLA is stupid! People are really irate on their website in the GG comment area, it is a little scary! It is like a riot online.
She wasn't the only one. The next day Defamer reported on the story. In Gilmore Girls Vs. The Wildfire, the Hollywood gossip blog expressed its deepest, snarkiest sympathy for those who missed out on the departing program. They also included some choice selections from the KTLA Gilmore Girls message board. My favorite was

you know, i cannot believe they are doing this to us.and this ghetto station doesn't even show the episodes online like abc and nbc
Submitted by: very upset

because I didn't even think of that. The CW is supposed to be so cool and hip with their Mark McGrath and their Pussycat Dolls, and it doesn't have its shows online. But the station that caters to the retirement home crowd does. How's that for irony?

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Number two: Reza Aslan. So dreamy. He was supposed to be on The Colbert Report on Tuesday, but it was postponed till July. So he was The Daily Show on Thursday. I had to drop my Daily Show ban for one night. :( I fast-forwarded through the John Oliver "I'm British" crap and got to the interview, which you can watch at the Comedy Central website. Speaking of behind-the-times internet destinations. Could there videos be any choppier?

After pausing, rewinding and playing the tape numerous times, I went to the MySpace page for Reza Aslan's Intellectual Groupies, and left this comment:

Oh my gosh, he was so cute last night on The Daily Show. I loved when he said, "Nobody talks to the administration. It's a closed bubble." And then he moved his hands in a bubble formation. He was looking at Jon, but it felt like he was talking to me.
Supposedly Mr. Aslan is getting married. That's disappointing. Because I'm sure his upcoming nuptials are the only thing that is preventing me from dating him. Not the fact that I don't know him. Or that I've never met him. Or that I wouldn't convert to Islam for him, completely ignoring his passion for his religion, even though he compiled a history of Islam, and has pushed the book on us for two years. No, his marriage is what is stopping us from being together. At least he probably won't get lanced in the future. Which brings me to number three...

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I was in Borders today, perusing the latest issue of Ms. Magazine like a good feminist on a budget. Then the shiny black cover of anthem magazine caught my eye with the headline, "Joseph Gordon-Levitt Goes to Iraq, Kisses Men, and Robs a Bank." Ms. went back on the shelf as I got my paws on anthem. You can read part of the interview here and look at a couple poses from the photo shoot, too.

I liked his take on the questions asked about his sexuality:

"This is kind of embarrassing, but I recently put my name into a search engine and someone posted, is Joseph Gordon-Levitt gay? and the answer posted was: Is he an alien? because I played [one on 3rd Rock]. Right now I'm in Toronto playing a psychopathic murderer. And recently I played someone who was in the U.S. army in Iraq. So it's like, what's harder? Kissing a dude or killing people? I would hope that I can feel at least a bit of the horror of what it must be like, when I was playing a soldier, how hard it must be, the hell they go through. So, kissing Topher Grace is like, whatever."

But right before that excerpt in the print version, Mr. G-L talks about creating a website for soldiers in Iraq where they can post their own videos about their experience. Mr. G-L has gotten tired of the "news" people sitting in a studio talking about what is supposedly going on over there, instead of simply asking the people on the ground. A celebrity actually doing something constructive about changing our society, instead of demanding that we do something silly like buy a yellow bumper sticker or use one sheet of toilet paper to wipe? Amazing. Watch your back, Clooney.

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Who else loved The Office on Thursday? It was all about the Pam speech. My favorite part? "Pam, that was amazing. But I'm still looking for someone with a sales background." Oh Michael.

Is Oscar really going to "try girls for a while"? If done right, that would be a funny episode.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Exciting Day for Me!

This afternoon I called into my local "progressive" radio because the Host on the air at the time was bugging me. He and his producer were talking to some guy from The Hollywood Reporter about the Chris Albrecht situation. I got my information on HBO's removing the chairman and CEO via Defamer, so you can, too. The "progressive" talk show Host couldn't understand why HBO would fire Albrecht after 22 years with the company. He didn't think that Albrecht's pattern of alleged assault, both in his personal life and at work, was a valid reason to remove him from his position. Maybe it wasn't valid to the Host because the people Albrecht allegedly had beaten were his girlfriends. And domestic violence isn't a cause for concern in the workplace. Now where have I heard that before...?

After yelling at my car radio, I called in and asked the Host, "Why are you defending an assaulter?" He said he wasn't, because Albrecht was never convicted of anything, so why was HBO firing him? I suggested that after the news of HBO's 1991 payoff came out right after the most recent Las Vegas incident, HBO didn't want anymore drama. The Host asked the Hollywood Reporter guy if that was true. The Hollywood Reporter implied that it was a possibility.

Endeavor's Ari Emanuel weighs in on the situation at The Huffington Post (via Defamer), calling his "friend" Albrecht, "an alcoholic who fell off the wagon and made a terrible mistake."

I've made mistakes, too. But somehow I've made it through life without shoving or choking my associates, regardless of my intoxication level.

So far, the arguments I've heard defending Albrecht go like this: "Who cares if he beats women? He brought us The Sopranos. The Sopranos!"

Yeah, dude also brought us Tourgasm and Lucky Louie. And it's not like Chris Albrecht is helping children with cancer. There is no justification for keeping an obviously disturbed person employed at your company, especially in such a visible position. There are plenty of other television executives in Hollywood who can bring us the next Sex and the City, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage.

But no more Dane Cook. Please.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Spotlight on: Frangela


If you don't know who Frangela is, you obviously don't watch Best Week Ever. That's understandable if you don't have cable. However, if you do have cable, there is no excuse. It's a funny show! Even better than I Love New York. And Celebrity Fit Club. Who else thinks Dustin Diamond may have "gained weight solely for the purpose of appearing on the show"?

Back to Frangela. They are one of my MySpace friends, and I wrote them a message a couple weeks ago. They were super-duper nice and they wrote me back pretty quickly. Their message totally made my day. Among other things, they said I had "the cutest photo thingy ever!"(Exclamation point theirs.) They also said my email was "mature and respectful." I do try. I was so excited that I told my mother about what they wrote. Mummy was less excited than I was because she doesn't watch the teevee. But she was happy for me anyway.

Frangela was supposed to have a show on Fox last year, but for whatever reason, the pilot didn't make it on the air. I guess Fox had to make room for comedy gold like The Ringer, 'Til Death, American Dad and The War at Home. I would have watched the show. Not just because Frangela makes me laugh, but because I too have trouble finding black friends. I definitely don't have enough of them to invite to a party.

A story that Frangela shared in their email also got me thinking that they should write a book. I've read many articles and seen many television specials concerning the history of American comedy. I saw Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World, which was a less-than-humorous film about the fact that Indians don't think Albert Brooks is funny. I also watched SNL in the 90s yesterday, which was a 2-hour long circle jerk that would have made the Bush administration blush. The problem with most of these self-congratulatory compilations is that they feature white American males talking about why other white American males are so funny. Sometimes a few black guys (Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby or Chris Rock) or a couple of white women (Lucille Ball, if we're lucky) slip in there. And at one point, I saw about a minute total on Freddie Prinze. But that's it.

There are no mainstream compilations of women's contributions to comedy. Or to entertainment in general. I know that women who work in comedy have some amazing stories to tell. I've heard a few tales from Janeane Garofalo, Margaret Cho, Judy Gold, Kathleen Madigan and pamie.com. But I'd like to hear more, and read more. I'm sure other women, and men, would like to hear them, too.

I bought I'm the One That I Want. I bought Yeah, I Said It. I'd buy Frangela's book, too.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Watching Tyra's "So What!" Parade


I started laughing to myself this week as I recalled reading this Mondo Extras recap on TWoP during my Winter Break: The Christmas Shoes. It was a made-for-TV movie, based on a schmaltzy Christmas song, starring Rob Lowe and Kimberly Williams. Here's what recapper Mr. Sobell had to say:


...It's a ridiculous anthem, full of mawkish sentiment and shallow acts of semi-kindness heralded as selfless philanthropy, topped with the kind of self-centered smugness normally reserved for Aaron Sorkin homilies. Someone responsible for "The Christmas Shoes" really needs to be punched.

I remember sharing this opinion with my father-in-law between guffaws of derisive laughter. However, my father-in-law -- an otherwise sensible fellow with little patience for the grade-A Velveeta often served up by popular culture -- took umbrage with my disdain for "The Christmas Shoes"; the words "cynical left-coast elitist" may have been tossed around in anger. And I soon learned that the majority of the civilized world seemed to take his side in this clash of cultures -- all throughout the weekend, people were calling into the radio station begging, pleading with the DJs to play this inane treacle. And in fact, the song turned out to be so terrifically popular that a woman named Donna VanLiere would churn out a novella based on this jejune pop song. I don't mean to disparage Ms. VanLiere or her literary efforts, but, several decades from now, don't expect to find The Christmas Shoes on the reading list for that "Great Books of the Early 21st Century" course they're teaching at your grandkid's university -- not if that school hopes to keep its accreditation, at any rate...

I was cracking up. When I shared the recap with my Mummy, she didn't find it as funny, since she's into that cheese. She's the kind of TV viewer who really liked The Ron Clark Story. I'm the kind of TV viewer who rolled my eyes when Matthew Perry had to be carried out on a stretcher by the paramedics after he passed out from pneumonia in his classroom. It only gave me more reason to laugh at the subsequent Nice White Lady sketch from MadTV.

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Via Defamer:

Book Soup Overrun By Blanche Devereaux-Quoting Sodomites.

The deep imprint left upon the television landscape by seminal 1980s osteoporotic sitcom The Golden Girls is indisputable: Swap in some Cosmos for a cheesecake, you're looking at a post-menopausal Sex and the City; add an angry lesbian and some Hot Topics, The View. Not surprisingly, the series carries with it a fanatical following, comprised mainly of gay men of a certain age, and no one else. Many of them showed up at Book Soup last night to hear Rue "Blanche" McClanahan read and sign from her new autobiography.

It's not just for the gays. I love The Golden Girls, too. I have seen every episode at least twice, many a lot more than that. It's on five times a day, every week day. I'm a Dorothy.

And, Defamer Employment: Kids' Show Currently Staffing Up On Craigslist. Oh, the hilarity. My favorite part comes near the bottom.

YOU SHOULD *NOT* PURSUE THIS JOB IF:

...You would ever write (or laugh at) any of these 6 lines of dialogue:

(1) "Hey, stop eating my dinner, Eatie McEaterson!"
(2) "These nachos are like a party in my mouth!"
(3) "Whooaaa, too much information."
(4) "And by [that] I mean [this]."
(5) "Whoops, did I say that out loud?"
(6) "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

If you enjoy any of the above 6 lines of dialogue, time to move on to the next Craigslist ad! [...]

If you really hate this ad and you want to tell us how awful, unprofessional, and arrogant it is, please send that email to either your mom or your nearest Home Depot.

As is the norm on Defamer, the comments below it are the piece de resistance. The Craig's List ad subsequently "got over 900 responses in less than 48 hours," probably due to their Defamer mention. I bet they received a few mom/Home Depot emails as well.

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from Wired, via Yahoo!News:

Army Squeezes Soldier Blogs, Maybe to Death
.

The U.S. Army has ordered soldiers to stop posting to blogs or sending personal e-mail messages, without first clearing the content with a superior officer, Wired News has learned. The directive, issued April 19, is the sharpest restriction on troops' online activities since the start of the Iraq war. And it could mean the end of military blogs, observers say.

So which freedoms are these soldiers fighting for again, even though they obviously can't exercise them themselves?

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via AfterEllen:

My So-Called Box Set: But will Tino ever show? According to dorothy snarker,

My So-Called Life might be coming back. No, sorry, not with new episodes (I know, that was just cruel, teasing you like that), but as a re-released DVD box set of its one and only season.

That would awesome, because I didn't get the first edition of DVDs. By the time I realized they might be good DVDs to invest in (i.e. last year), they were no longer available in stores. Hmph.

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from The New York Times, via Pajiba Love:

Young, Gifted, and Not Getting Into Harvard, by Michael Winerip.

ON a Sunday morning a few months back, I interviewed my final Harvard applicant of the year. After saying goodbye to the girl and watching her and her mother drive off, I headed to the beach at the end of our street for a run.

It was a spectacular winter day, bright, sunny and cold; the tide was out, the waves were high, and I had the beach to myself. As I ran, I thought the same thing I do after all these interviews: Another amazing kid who won’t get into Harvard.
He ends the article with this paragraph, emphasis mine:

That day, running on the beach, I was lost in my thoughts when a voice startled me. “Pops, hey, Pops!” It was Sammy, one of my twins, who’s probably heading for a good state school. He was in his wetsuit, surfing alone in the 30-degree weather, the only other person on the beach. “What a day!” he yelled, and his joy filled my heart.

Gee, thanks, Dad. Way to lowball your kid's abilities in a national newspaper.

By the way, I didn't get into Harvard either. I didn't apply...but that's beside the point. The Pajibans summed it up well:

What's the Times' sudden obsession with high school kids and top colleges? Maybe the paper is trying to solidify its identity as the most respected paper among the white, upper-class mass of Ivy league applicants.

Who cares if some overachieving, overprivileged Northeasterners don't get into Harvard? This is not the education crisis facing the United States. This is a small group of yuppies burdened with one-upping each other on the backs of their unnecessarily stressed-out children.

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If you haven't read Racialicious this week, please do, along with Race in the Workplace. I would link to at least five articles that I liked on the site this week, but it takes me forever to link and quote and comment in my obsessively comprehensive manner. So clickety-click on the underline words above. Incredibly educational and poignant. Carmen really needs her own nightly show. That way, instead of spending two to three hours every time I post trying to convince you to read the articles that she puts on her blog, I could just say, "watch Carmen tonight at 8pm." And you would.

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Why is Maroon 5's new single "Makes Me Wonder" growing on me? Adam Levine cannot sing, and the video isn't that cool. How many times can those guys stand around playing their instruments in random places while emaciated, underdressed, glassy-eyed models wander around them aimlessly? Plus, Adam, you are no George Michael. You're not even Robbie Williams.

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The best for last. From The New York Observer:

Goodbye, Girls. Now I can exhale.

...[Lorelai Gilmore] never apologized. Not for getting pregnant; not for running away; not for over-mothering Rory; and not for being pretty and smart and young. Ms. Sherman-Palladino made her a strong character who overflowed with love and enthusiasm. We responded to her in kind.

Mr. Rosenthal, however, has seemed to want to punish the Gilmore girls for having too much fun -- and too much independence – over the last six years. Not a single character has escaped this season without tragedy or curse. After the collapse of her relationship with Luke, Lorelai made the very unlike Lorelai decision to marry Rory’s dad, Christopher (David Sutcliffe), perhaps the least reliable person she's ever known. The notion that Lorelai would be swept away by a romantic gesture (Christopher proposed in Paris after a shaky and swift post-Luke reunion) is totally ludicrous – this woman never even had a one night stand up to now. (Well, except with Christopher.) Luke, who having gotten to know the teen daughter he's only recently become aware of, became embroiled in a nasty custody battle – this is a man who didn't want a lawyer to help him get divorced a few seasons back. Rory is graduating from Yale (finally!) but has been dragged down by her boyfriend Logan (Matt Czuchry) who lost all of his family-bestowed millions on an internet merger deal gone bad…. And now, at 23, he's proposing! Mr. Gilmore, Lorelai's dad, had a heart attack; Rory's best friend Lane had sex once – on her honeymoon –hated it, and got pregnant with – wait for it – twins!

And, Who Will Play Obama on SNL?, by Jason Horowitz. The story should be called, "Lorne Michaels doesn't care about black people." Because, really. I could have told you who the 2008 Presidential candidates were going to be in 2005. The most loved sketches in 2000 were the ones with Darrell Hammond and Will Ferrell playing Al Gore and George W. Bush, respectively. Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Barack Obama have been making national headlines every week since the beginning of 2007. And Lorne still hasn't hired someone to play Barack Obama? You might think I'm being hard on Lorne, but consider this: he certainly has enough white guys to play the Republican candidates, even though most Americans can't name any of them besides John McCain. (Kudos to you if you named Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, or Tom Tancredo. Bonus points for Law & Order's Fred Thompson.)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Gilmore Girls: I Shake My Fist at You!



Doesn't Zach have two kids to raise? Why is he going on some drunken tour without his family? Why is Lane raising their children by herself? Has Zach ever met Kwan and Steve? If Lane had to become "so mature" since she became a mother, shouldn't Zach, the twins supposed father, be mature at all? Could this show get any more regressive?

Lauren Graham, I'm glad you're a producer now, but that "I Will Always Love You" was a big honking anvil to my head. We get it. We're not stupid. Respect your audience.

Waah, waah, waah, Rory doesn't have her perfect job yet. Like I care. Join the Overeducated and Underemployed club, kid.

I'm hoping Logan gets on that slow boat to China. Or to San Francisco/Palo Alto. Wherever. I wouldn't mind him pulling a Chad Michael Murray or a Jared Padalecki, as long as Czuchry gets a less loathsome character.

Where was Michel?