"What do you do if you find out that someone that you know is dating a racist?"

I'd talk to national television, too!


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Identifying with and inspired by Conan O'Brien

As you readers may know, I like to compare myself to a young, up-and-coming comedian, especially when I face difficulties in my life. It helps me feel better and make sense of things. Often that comedian Kathy Griffin. Though recently it was Patton Oswalt. During this short period of disappointment for me, my comedian is Conan O'Brien:

" . . . despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian...every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and for seven months, I got to do it. And I did it my way with people I love. I do not regret one second of anything that we've done here.

[ . . . ]

"And all I ask is one thing, and this is, I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. Amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true."

I do not regret anything I did, said, or felt. I am so proud of myself, of the actions I took, and of the courage I continue to have.

I don't hate cynicism. I think it can be healthy in manageable doses. I truly never expected to be here, being so open and honest with myself and with others. I have been working really hard for my entire life, and I do believe amazing things will happen for me. Yet, even though I am continuing my search and I am wholeheartedly driven to do so, I don't have confidence that I will find what I am looking for. I doubt that I will ever "host The Tonight Show", not even for seven months.

I wish more people were honest about the myth of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, or taking lemons and making lemonade. Some people aren't even given boots or lemons, but somehow they are pulling and standing and trying their hardest to make juice. Though the truth is, you could work really hard and do everything right, but there is a great possibility that you will fail over and over again. And you get tired. And every time, the protective shell that you had peeled off to trust and let people in just grows back tougher and more impenetrable.

Er, but keep trying, readers. Believe in the stars! :)

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It's a start!

Wanda Sykes, by Noel Murray at The A. V. Club via Comedy Central.

AVC: There’s been a lot of talk in the wake of the whole David Letterman affair about the lack of female writers on late-night comedy shows. What’s your mix like?

WS: I have a well-balanced show. It’s 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it’s the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.

AVC: Why do you think other shows have been so slow to mix up their staffs in that same way? You take someone like Jon Stewart, who seems so progressive, and yet the composition of his staff doesn’t reflect what his politics would seem to be.

WS: You know what, I think maybe it’s because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers’ room and just pass gas freely. Me, I’m a lady. I’m dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.

No Asian or Latino people are mentioned, but we shall overcome someday. Also, Wanda's staff sounds better than this experience:

Letterman and Me, by Nell Scovell at VanityFair.com. Emphases mine.

At this moment, there are more females serving on the United States Supreme Court than there are writing for Late Show with David Letterman, The Jay Leno Show, and The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien combined. Out of the 50 or so comedy writers working on these programs, exactly zero are women. It would be funny if it weren’t true.

[ . . . ]

I decided to speak up now for three reasons: 1. People who have no knowledge of the situation are voicing opinions, so why not me? 2. Letterman himself opened this up to a public discussion. 3. I’d like to pivot the discussion away from the bedroom and toward the writers’ room, because it pains me that almost 20 years later, the situation for female writers in late-night-TV hasn’t improved.

[ . . . ]

One frequent excuse you hear from late-night-TV executives is that “women just don’t apply for these jobs.” And they certainly don’t in the same numbers as men. But that’s partly because the shows often rely on current (white male) writers to recommend their funny (white male) friends to be future (white male) writers. Targeted outreach to talented bloggers, improv performers, and stand-ups would help widen the field of applicants. I’m also aware of several worthy females who have submitted material and never heard back. [ . . . ]

Late-night shows shouldn’t relax their standards for women, but why not give feedback and encouragement if it’s warranted? Maybe a writer will nail the tone on her second try. I’d also like to see each show post submission-packet requirements on its Web site so everyone has equal access. Obvious, right? Unless the shows would rather complain about the dearth of female applicants than do anything to encourage them.

Unfortunately, that concept is not solely confined to television writing staffs, Ms. Scovell. :|

I have a theory. An executive producer with an all-male writing staff once inadvertently revealed his deep, dark fear. While discussing a full-time position for me, he mused out loud, “I wonder if having a woman in the room will change everything.” Of course, what he really meant was: “I wonder if having a woman in the room will change me.”

Yes, it will change you: you will become a better writer.

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"How often do you talk to homicide detectives?"

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The jokes about Law & Order come about three minutes in. They're funny because they're true. I wish he had done a joke about Jerry Orbach's inappropriate hilarity. Dennis Farina tried to recreate it during the two seasons he was on, but his quips came off as less hilarious and more inappropriate. Someone died, dude.

If anyone can get me a clip of Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Poehler doing their Law & Order sketch on SNL, I will love you to pieces. My fellow TV-obsessed friend told me about it, but did not tape the episode. Harumph.