Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Bianca Reagan: Where the Action Is! Now available!



BIANCA REAGAN: WHERE THE ACTION IS, the sequel to STEVE THE PENGUIN, has been published! It's now available in paperback on Amazon.

For autographed copies, please send requests to mrjmedia [at] gmail [dot] com.

The eBook format is coming soon. More details to come.

I'm so excited and proud! Hooray!


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Monday, February 06, 2012

"Alpha Beta más"


As I have said before, writing is hard. I only have six chapters left to complete in Bianca Reagan: Where the Action Is, but for reasons big and small, they are not yet done.

When talking about my book, one of the chapters I often describe is Ch. 14, "Alpha Beta". The themes discussed by Bianca and Beck reflect issues that I have experienced over the past few years. No, I have never gotten divorced, nor have I dated a married man. Not that I know of, anyway. But I have swum with the sharks in the treacherous waters of the dating pool in Los Angeles, and I escaped metaphorically beaten, bruised and worse for wear.

Since I do not yet have a publication date set for the sequel to Steve the Penguin (available on Amazon!), I don't want to deprive you readers from enjoying what I have already written so far, especially when I am proud of what I would like to share.

Hence, another excerpt from Ch. 14. (It's lengthy, so if you know how to make a click-through page break, please let me know in the comments. Thank you!):


“I liked your story about you and Jean-Luc. It’s inspirational.”

“It’s a fairy tale,” Beck declared with a somber tone. “I got divorced from my first husband, met Jean-Luc, and got remarried. My life tied in a neat bow. I call it my resume gap story. Whenever I tell it, the listeners become beguiled by the meet-cute and the happily-ever-after ending. Their minds skip over the four-year period between nuptials.”

“Why don’t you tell them about those four years?”

Beck lowered her eyes. “I don’t want to sound weak and bitter and depressed.”

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”

She looked up at me. “You know those sayings about relationships, like love will find you, because it will arrive when you’re not looking? Men are like buses: another one will always come around? There are plenty of fish in the sea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nonsense.” She kept her arms folded across her chest. “For certain people, it is that easy. Suitors fall in their laps, again and again and again.”

“Like a crappy romantic comedy playing on a loop.”

“For the rest of us who aren’t that lucky for whatever reason, it’s horrible. I never thought I’d end up divorced by 31. My ex-husband was a not-half-bad-looking newly single rich guy. He had a string of girlfriends lined up before the ink dried on our papers. I, on the other hand, could not get arrested in this town. On the nights I could find a babysitter, I was going out to clubs, chilling at bars, looking foxy, or so I thought. No men younger than 50 were picking up what I was throwing down. I tried speed dating, and I might as well have been invisible. ”

“That’s sounds disappointing.”

“Summer suggested I try online dating. Some of our friends were doing it and having a blast. They were going out every night of the week. I figured, why not? I signed up for a few reputable sites, the ones who overadvertise their success stories. I waited for the magic to happen.”

“How did that work out for you?”

“I fell further down the rabbit hole of dating, or, more accurately, not dating. At first I thought I was doing something wrong, like my matching settings were turned off, or my profile wasn’t posted, or I had mistakenly described my interests as serial killing, because I wasn’t getting any responses. So I had one of my dating expert friends redo my profile. Still nothing. I’d send out like 15, 20 messages a week. Not a single reply, let alone unsolicited interest from anyone who sounded like they had all their marbles.”

“The crazies are out there.”

“Then I realized what was going on. Success in dating, online or in-person, depended not on who you were, but on the perception of who you were. It was just one big great giant competition for the most desirable players, and I, with my formidable baggage, had not been dealt the most attractive hand for dating in LA. Despite the fact that I was well-educated and independently well-off, I was still a single mom, over 30, with two kids and some junk in the trunk. I looked like a walking statistic for my black and Hispanic communities. I was the package that no one wanted to open, even the guys who had the same traits I did. The single dads, the guys over 30, the Hispanic ones, the black ones, the guys who were way fatter than I could ever imagine, all of them wanted not me. They were looking for someone young, thin, ‘not too ethnic and no drama.’ I saw that all the time on guys’ profiles, as if ‘ethnic’ people come pre-programmed with a drama microchip.”

“My microchip must be on the fritz.”

“After a year of this, I thought, maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just me and my fiery, intimidating, out-of control personality. I couldn’t be the victim of some societal racism/sexism/fat-hating hybrid, could I? It’s the 21st century. Society was different now. Dating was hard for everyone, right?”

I scrunched my face and gave her a shrug.

“To confirm I wasn’t losing my mind, I arranged a get-together at my house with my black woman friends, all two of them, and a couple of their black friends. I asked them what they thought about my dating situation. I discover that it was not just me. Each of them had similar stories of rejection to tell, or worse.” She shuddered. “Much worse. One of my friends showed up to a first date where the guy pulled out a brown paper bag, and it wasn’t for leftovers.”

My body recoiled. “No way.”

“He wanted to make sure she could pass. Which she could, but she was so creeped out, she left before their drinks arrived. The thing that cracked me up in a sad way was when my friend showed me a picture of the dude. His own complexion was more Wesley Snipes than Ice-T.”

“Self-hating.”

“So this dilemma was indeed, at least partially, a color issue. I hadn’t lost my mind. Instead, I lost hope.”

Poor Beck.

“I felt like I was a house for sale, but no one wanted to purchase me. Like every potential homebuyer passed me over, because they thought I was too old or stout, or the wrong color, since they wanted a house painted white. Or Asian.” She clasped her hands. “My depression only grew deeper when I tried to talk about it with some of my friends who weren’t black. They didn’t believe me. They thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. They swore no one ever treated us differently because I was black and they were the right color. Listening to their incomprehension and disbelief and denial of what was happening to me made me physically ill. I felt more alone than ever.”

“If I had known you back then, I would have believed you.”

“Thanks. The whole process was soul-destroying. I stuck it out for another year, during which I was matched for compatibility with literally over 5000 different men, who almost uniformly wanted nothing to do with me. I went on a handful of dates that went nowhere, and came out the other side, emotionally battered, discouraged, questioning my existence. Why had I been chosen to go through this life unloved? I wondered why I was on the planet if no one wanted to be with me. Like I was an alien from another galaxy that had been accidentally left behind by the mothership.”

E.T.! Or Independence Day.” Or the episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? with the brother of that Canadian guy who was in X-Men. I kept that last observation to myself.

“Thank goodness I had Huey, Blossom, and Summer to keep my head on straight.”

I had neither children nor a reliable sibling. What was I supposed to do with my lopsided head?

“Gosh, I am being such a downer.” She shook the long brown curls around her head. “Back on track now. I was going to say before that Mike or no Mike, you will find your match, even though you haven’t found him yet.”

“I’m supposed to believe that after your tales of woe?”

“That’s me, not you. I think he’s not ready for you at the moment. He’s still baking in an oven, like the cupcake you ate. Very soon, the timer will go off, and he will emerge fully formed. He knows he couldn’t step to you half-baked. Bianca don’t play that.”

“I do have high standards.”

“I’m not going to let you settle. Been there, done that, got the divorce papers. When you think you’ve found The One, I want to meet him and make sure he’s good enough for you.


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Monday, August 22, 2011

"The 'Bu"




I finished another chapter in Bianca Reagan: Where the Action Is! Six more to go! An excerpt from Ch. 17:

“I have to put my whole hand in the scanner? I thought it was a fingerprint.”

“New company policy. Sign here please.”

“Which of the many forms is this?”

“It releases the company, the testing center, and the test administrators from liability for any injuries you may incur while at the facility. This includes, but is not limited to, falls, sprains, broken bones, eyestrain, seizures, cancer, and/or death, and you are present in the facility and are taking the exam of your own free will.”

I looked at the form. “To apply to business school, I am required to take and pass this four-hour-long exam. It is only administered on flickering computer screens instead of in paper form. And, at 25 miles away, this is the closest facility to my home. To enter and exit the exam room, I have to repeatedly place my hand on a radioactive machine. So yes. I am exposing my body to eyestrain, highway collisions, and cancer by my own free will.” I signed the papers and handed them back to the administrator.

“This way, please.”


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Monday, August 15, 2011

"Luv U, Baby Girl"



I finished another chapter in Bianca Reagan: Where the Action Is! Seven more to go! An excerpt from Ch. 06:


Jenny adjusted each person’s spacing. “Let’s do it!”

We heard the intro of the song. The synthesized melody crept over the background drum machine. Then came the lyrics. Maggie’s part was first.

“I will never break your heart
I promise from the start
Baby girl”


Her moment in the imaginary spotlight was halted by the ringing of my desk phone.

“Who is interrupting the magic?” Maggie demanded.

I picked up the receiver.

“It’s your mother,” I told Stacey. She took the call at my desk.

“She hasn’t moved out of Stacey’s house yet,” Maggie whispered.

The Intern shook his head. “That’s rough.”

Stacey busied her right hand by clicking her retractable pen. “Mami, I am having a very important business discussion . . . Si, that is ‘Luv U, Baby Girl’ . . . How do you know about Five Guys? . . . No, I don’t think that would . . . Why do you want . . . Fine, Mami, fine.” She switched her mother to the speakerphone.

“Hello, Stacey’s friends,” her mother greeted us with her Argentinean lilt.

“Hi, Mrs. Maguire,” we replied.

“Por favor, girls, we’re all family. Call me Mami.”

Stacey gripped her pen so hard it bent in half.

“My baby doesn’t know about Five Guys and my Teddy B like I do,” Mrs. Maguire said. “Sometimes I like to throw my hands in the air, and wave them around like I just don’t care. Turn the music back on.”


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Sunday, August 08, 2010

"Dance Party USA"


13 chapters completed in Bianca Reagan: Where the Action Is! Eight more to go! An excerpt from Ch. 07:


“Teddy.” He shook my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

As I held on to Teddy, I daydreamed about telling our children the story of how I met their father. They would have Teddy’s wavy black hair, dark eyes, and musical ability, along with my nose, dimples, and math skills.

I noticed a familiar logo peeking from behind the lapels of Teddy’s blue blazer. “Are you wearing a NOW t-shirt to impress the Shake audience?”

“It couldn’t hurt, but no,” Teddy said. “I have been an official spokesperson for the National Organization of Women since I played at their conference last year. However, I’ve been a feminist since my mother taught me how to talk.”

“That’s impressive.” I poked Mike in the arm. “You should take note.”

The Good Senator inserted, “We are all taking note, which would please my wife. She’s a big, big feminist.”

A big feminist?

“Not big in size,” The Good Senator dug himself in deeper. “Not that there is anything wrong with big sizes.”

Why was he looking at me when he said that?

Benjamin inserted the correct wording. “Alley is a strong supporter of women.”

“She and I both are,” The Good Senator told us. “In fact, Alley and I were at the NOW conference last year, too. Were you there?”

Me? “I’ve never been to one before. I thought the conferences were for important people. I’m not quite a member either.”

“You’re not a member of NOW?” Teddy asked me.

“It’s expensive.” Well, maybe. “Last time I checked it was.”

Teddy pointed to himself. “NOW member.” He pointed to The Good Senator. “NOW member?”

“Proudly,” The Good Senator concurred.

Teddy moved his index finger in my direction. “Not NOW member.”

“Or,” Mike pointed at The Good Senator, then at Teddy. “Good feminist, good feminist.”

“Bad feminist.” Teddy waggled his finger at me.

The Good Senator and Mike shot exaggerated frowns in my direction. Benjamin looked bored.

“I’m a good feminist.” I racked my brain for proof. “I voted?”

“Did you vote for him?” Teddy gestured towards the senator.

“How was I supposed to vote for an Illinois senator when I live in California?”

“You hear the excuses this one has?” Teddy asked the room.

The Good Senator put his arm around Mike’s shoulders. “You really ought to be more careful about the kind of women you run around with.”

Mike grinned. “I’ll try harder next time, sir.”

“Cassandra!” Teddy called across the room as she walked through the doorway.

“Teddy B!” she called back.

“Are you a member of NOW?”

Cassandra strolled over next to Teddy. “Who’s asking? And, yes.”

Teddy turned to pat my back. “I take it we’ll be seeing you at the next meeting.”

Benjamin yawned. “Will this love fest never end?”

“Benji, shush,” The Good Senator said with his arm still around Mike.

Benjamin’s head drooped. He shuffled over to the other side of the room, mumbling to himself, “Don’t call me Benji.”


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Saturday, July 10, 2010

"Alpha Beta"


Ten chapters completed in Bianca Reagan: Where The Action Is! An excerpt from Ch. 14:


Our waiter arrived with the National Velvet cupcake I had ordered.

“Cream cheese frosting,” Beck lamented. “To be in my 20s again.”

I dug into my crimson dessert. “In your quest for this extensive knowledge about relationships, have you ever dated a married man?”

Beck held up her index finger. “Once. In my defense, I did not know he was married at the time, because his wife lived in Switzerland. When I did find out, though, I ended it with the quickness. I was too old to be up in that mess.”

I kept eating and listening.

“Granted, I was 22 at the time, but there is no fool like an old fool. I didn’t want to wake up 10 years later, looking back on the energy I had wasted in a man who wasn’t even all that, because I had spent a decade being a fool. So that was done and done.”

All of a sudden, my plate was empty. Time flies when you’re having cake.

“I liked your story about you and Jean-Luc. It’s inspirational.”

“It’s a fairy tale,” Beck declared with a somber tone. “I got divorced from my first husband, met Jean-Luc, and got remarried. My life tied in a neat bow. I call it my resume gap story. Whenever I tell it, the listeners become beguiled by the meet-cute and the happily-ever-after ending. Their minds skip over the four-year period between nuptials.”

“Why don’t you tell them about those four years?”

Beck lowered her eyes. “I don’t want to sound weak and bitter and depressed.”

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”


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Friday, June 25, 2010

"Lunchus Interruptus"


Ten chapters completed in Bianca Reagan: Where The Action Is! An excerpt from Ch. 05:


“What is your role in The Good Senator’s office?” I asked Benjamin.

“Bianca.” He took a chomp of his Philly cheesesteak.

I waited for him to chew and swallow. “Benjamin?”

“I’m The Good Senator’s right hand man.”

“I thought you were Cassandra’s assistant.”

Mike snorted grains of garlic rice out of his nose. Cassandra tried to hide her amusement by looking away from Benjamin and fixating on her meal.

“I don’t like to limit myself with labels. I work with Cassandra, so it’s a team effort, per se. She rocks out the day-to-day stuff. Right, Cassandra?”

“Yup.”

“On the flipside of that coin, I’m more the action guy. Innovation. Synergy. Git ‘er done. That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Hmm,” I packaged the rest of my food in an eco-friendly take-out box for later.

“I’m a forward thinker. In other words, I move the team forward,” Benjamin gesticulated. “Inasmuch as I’m involved with The Good Senator during that point in time, and so forth.”

“Very important work,” Cassandra winked at me.

Benjamin ingested more of his greasy sandwich. “At the end of the day, we make laws.”

We? I didn’t consider myself a C-SPAN enthusiast, but during the few times I had watched what I liked to call The Men’s Wearhouse Security Camera network, I had never seen Benjamin deliberating on the Senate floor.

“I’m taking The Good Senator to a whole ‘nother level.”

“What level would that be?” I asked him. A squeak escaped from Mike, followed by a series of forced coughs from Cassandra to cover her guffaws. Benjamin was too busy building momentum to notice.

“We're going viral. We're taking it to the streets. He’s going to be a national figure on the main stage. I want every family in America talking about Senator Nate Summerfield, make him a household name.”

“Ambitious.”

“Coke. Nate Summerfield.” He drew Venn diagram circles in the air. “Nike. Nate Summerfield. McDonald’s. Nate Summerfield.”

“Just do it,” I said with a straight face. “I’m loving it.”

“We’re shooting to the top, Bianca. President Nate Summerfield.” His pointer finger stabbed the tabletop with each word. “That’s what I’m talking about. Like I always say—”

“So, Bianca,” Cassandra cut in. “Mike tells us that you work at Shake?”


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Tuesday, June 01, 2010

"Coitus Interruptus"



Eight chapters completed in the sequel to to Steve the Penguin! The tentative title of the second novel is now Bianca Reagan: Where The Action Is. An excerpt from Ch. 03:


SandyBeachGirl99: my nephew's birthday party wasn’t that bad. most of Mormon people were nice.


DannyOcean1112: we usually are


SandyBeachGirl99: it was more the not fitting in with my own family


SandyBeachGirl99: they moved to a new town without telling me


SandyBeachGirl99: not to mention the wedding they had 15 years ago without inviting me


DannyOcean1112: do you really want to play the Compare Families game?


SandyBeachGirl99: you win every time


DannyOcean1112: sister was in the pokey. brother with the gambling addiction. both still on probation, wondering what to do with their little ones at home


DannyOcean1112: now my sister is back on house arrest with the ankle bracelet.


DannyOcean1112: can you beat that?


SandyBeachGirl99: let me think. no.


SandyBeachGirl99: but I still wish I could be closer to my niece, considering she only lives an hour away


DannyOcean1112: you are making an effort. I know your niece appreciates it.


SandyBeachGirl99: I’m taking her and her friend to see a movie next month. the remake of Dance ‘til Dawn


DannyOcean1112: that TV movie from the 80s?


SandyBeachGirl99: yep, but this time it’s on the big screen, starring the usual suspects from every teen show on the primetime lineup. I think we’ll have a good time.


DannyOcean1112: well there you go. you’re the fun aunt


DannyOcean1112: i don’t get to be the fun uncle. i’m the responsible one. i am the one stable role model my nieces and nephews have.


SandyBeachGirl99: I know they appreciate you.


SandyBeachGirl99: hold on. phone call.


SandyBeachGirl99: talk amongst yourself


DannyOcean1112: give me a topic


SandyBeachGirl99: Rhode Island is neither a road, nor an island. Discuss.



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Thursday, April 01, 2010

Writing is hard.


That is all.

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

"Pink Elephants"



Six chapters completed in the sequel to to Steve the Penguin! The title of the second novel is now under construction as well. An excerpt from Ch. 12:


“Is your necklace new? You weren’t wearing it at the taping.”

This guy remembered what I did or did not have on my neck a day ago?

“It’s not new.”

His fingers slid across my collarbone as he touched the gold pendant. “Why an angel?

“Because of . . .”

“Winn-Dixie?”

“Oprah,” I sputtered. “The angels.”

He lifted the pendant with his index finger. “The angels?”

“On one of Oprah’s shows, she said she could never find any black angels. Then her fans sent hundreds of black angel statuettes to her studio.”

“I would have sent her a picture of you.”

“Laying it on thick, aren’t we?”

“Me?” He placed the warm angel back on my skin. “Never.”

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this Oprah story. It’s the first thing that popped into my head. But for reals, I like angels because they are flying people.” That was enough about me. “What about your neck?”

“What about my neck?”

“What is the deal with the constant whimsy on your ties? Yesterday it was the shamrocks. Today it’s dancing elephants.” I tugged on the black strip of silk. “Why are they pink?”

“Short answer: they match my shirt.”

“Long answer?”

He breathed in my ear with more heat than actual sound. “I like being unpredictable. I’m full of surprises.”

Dude was full of something. “How could you possibly continue to surprise me?”

He popped a chicken nugget in his mouth. “If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”


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Saturday, February 20, 2010

"Almost Right, but Not Quite"


Five chapters completed in Hot Penguin Action! An excerpt from Ch. 15:


“What if that other guy weren’t in the picture?”

He was cutting me deep. “Dude, this has nothing to do him.” Though I wished it did. That would be a great excuse. “This is about you, and me, and . . .”

I was trying to concentrate on delivering my message. Why was he distracting me? Even though the other guy had blown me off, and I had absolutely no other prospects, I would rather be alone than poorly accompanied. I was willing to wait for the right person, instead of settling for a convenient, comfortable, yet unhealthy relationship.

“I have to respect what’s right for me. I want more. I need more.”

“You deserve more.”

“I do. In completely unrelated news, I’m not in a relationship of any kind with anyone.”

“Bianca, there is obviously something going on with you and—”

No. “If there ever was anything with him, there isn’t any more. He hasn’t talked to me since the night of the Rec Room taping, so his silence has made that perfectly clear.”

Jenny continued giving me sympathetic looks from across my desk. For some reason, I was glad she was there.

“I’m sorry, Bianca,” he said. “I’m not sorry he’s out of the picture. Although if we had to compete, I know I would beat him.”

“So cocky!”

“But I am sorry you’re unhappy. I thought he was a better guy than that.”

So did I.

“So you’re alone, I’m alone,” he lamented. “Where is the bright, shining light in all of this?”

“I did have fun meeting you for the first time at the taping.”

“The second time was even better. Even though that’s when I discovered my life is a mess, thanks to you.”

“What am I supposed to say to that? You’re welcome?”

“I meant it in a good way.”

“Explain please.”

“I have to accept that life I tried to create myself has failed. The first step is admitting that you have a problem, right?” His voice expressed a growing weariness. “So I admit it. I need to start over. I don’t know how, though.”

“And this is my fault because . . . ?”

“I’m not blaming you. I’m thanking you, because I can talk to you. I haven’t had to explain the situation to anyone else yet, not my family, not my friends. Not that I would have known what to tell them. It’s easier with you.”

“Because we just met?”

“Because I trust you.”

I trusted me, too.

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

"Rhymes with Witch"


Four chapters completed in Hot Penguin Action! An excerpt from Ch. 09:


So.” Mike paused. “That interview was something, huh? On the show tonight?”

“It was something, indeed.” I nodded through the phone.

“We’re already getting negative feedback on the major news blogs.”

“There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” I assured him.

“I don’t know why Lexie didn’t focus on the book.”

“She did ask The Good Senator about his book. She brought up his many other accomplishments as well.”

“Yes, but then she focused on the health care bill. That wasn’t the purpose of The Good Senator’s visit to her show. Our pre-interview material was only about his Gulf War service, his Presidential campaign, and why he wrote the book.”

“Which she did ask about.”

Mike kept going. “No other talk show hosts asked about that bill, or about any bill The Good Senator sponsored or voted for.”

“Lexie isn’t just another talk show host. Haven’t you seen The Rec Room before?”

“Of course we’ve seen it. It’s supposed to be a comedy show. That’s why I wrote some jokes for The Good Senator.”

You wrote jokes, Mikkel Jones?”

“You’re acting like I said I cured cancer.”

“Curing cancer I could believe.”

“So I’m smart, but not funny?”

“Can I get a third option?”

“Oh! You’re killing me, Smalls.”

“Bam!”

“The jokes were good,” Mike insisted. “He didn’t get a chance to use most of them, but—”

“Yes, the show is funny,” I concurred. “But Lexie challenges all of her guests with tough questions. Furthermore, her questions were not inappropriate.”

“Condom dispensers in every high school and middle school?” Mike sputtered. “Was she serious? How were we supposed to respond to that?”

“I don’t see a problem with the idea.”

“You don’t?”

I could have stopped then. I wanted Mike to like me, and if I agreed with him, he would. Maybe If I mirrored everything he said, he might think we had a psychic bond. That would make him feel secure in his points of view.

I could have surreptitiously kowtowed to Mike’s myopic arguments. I could have suppressed my instincts to share my counter perspectives. I could let him continue his circular logic until he ran out of steam. Then I could stroke his ego by complementing his repetitive monologue, and beg for more of his faulty assumptions.

Or . . .


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Saturday, August 15, 2009

"It’s Been A Long, Been A Long Day"


Three chapters completed! An excerpt from Ch. 19:


A few hours later, we sat on the bed, paging through my senior yearbook. A Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon played in the background.

“Things that make you smile,” He read from the Question Pages in the middle of the book.

“My nieces and my nephew.” Meaning Colby. The other nephews needed to learn how to behave. “Okay, next. If you could script the plot for your dream tonight, what would it be?”

“Me as Wolverine from X-Men. The movie.”

“The second one? Also known as, my favorite one.”

“No, the first one,” he replied with no hesistation. “Otherwise known as the best one.”

“My turn again. Things that make you go hmm . . . ”

“Duck-billed platypuses. Platypi? Mammals laying eggs.” He took a bit of the Croissant Hot Pocket in his hand, with the silver and white microwave sleeve still attached. “Now my turn. If you could have your SAT score be 1400 simply by having an ugly scar on your face, would you do so?”

“I had over a 1400, and I had scars. I think it would be 2100 now. And I still have scars.” I lean in to show him my cheek. But as I placed my finger on my face, I shrank away from him.

“What’s wrong? Are you having a flashback? You don’t really have to take another standardized test again. Sometimes I have nightmares that I have to retake the LSAT. Then I wake up shaking, all sweaty and scared.”

“I’m not Fancy Bianca.” I looked at my clean, pinkish fingertips, which had no cocoa-colored powder or concealer on them. “I’m Casual Bianca.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This morning I put on my GMAT outfit, so I would be as comfortable as possible. Then you called, and we went to Johnny Rockets. But I didn’t change my clothes, or deal with my,” I lowered my voice, “dermatological issues.”

“Okay . . . ?”

“So I’m still Casual Bianca.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I wanted to be Fancy Bianca! I wanted to look nice.”

“You look fine. We got burgers, not filet mignon.” Mike furrowed his brow. “If I’m following what you’re saying, which is doubtful, you’d rather be fancy than casual? That doesn’t seem like you, though.”

“I like being casual. With my friends.”

“I’m not your friend?”

“You are, but,” I exhaled. “I want people to like me for who I am. So I show them Fancy Bianca first. By the time they see Casual Bianca, they already like me. So they won’t run away.”

“Why would they run—That’s insanity.”

“No, that’s LA. And the rest of American society. People judge you by an impossible standard of looks, which I could never measure up to. So I try to make the best of what I have. I try to look normal.”

He swallowed the last of the Hot Pocket. “You’re a piece of work.”

“So are you, kid.”


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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Another chapter completed!


"Cake!" 19 more chapters to go. An excerpt:


If I had to choose between a burgeoning rock star whom I had spoken with for a total of less than ten minutes, and a Senator’s entry-level assistant whose light brown eyelashes had burned a permanent image in my brain . . . Someday I would learn to pick the hot, unstable guys over the adorkable, dependable ones. But that day was not today.



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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

I finished one chapter!


Only 20 more chapters to go. An excerpt:


I woke up in the morning next to him. I was surprised. One, he was still there, and two, he was still asleep. I needed to go to the bathroom. I rolled out of bed quietly to go pee pee and brush my teeth.

I returned to my room. It was almost 6:00 am, but being the end of June, the sun was shining brightly through the blinds near his feet. He was rolled up against the wall, breathing deeply. How was I going to sneak back into bed?

I eased myself onto the mattress, one body part at a time, in hopes of not jostling him. I snuggled back into my space, and posed my arms and legs into savasana, which was not the first yoga position that came to mind when I thought about him.

He turned over and wrapped his left arm around me. “Hello,” he said into my left shoulder. His eyes remained closed.

“As you can tell, this is not a Tempur-Pedic bed.”

He opened his eyes. “Does that make me a spilled glass of red wine?”

I raised the blanket and pointed at his pants. “That doesn’t look like wine in your pocket.”

He placed his hand over his crotch. “I’ll be right back.” He scooched down the bottom edge of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

When he came back, he climbed around me to get back in the bed, in the exact same position. He draped his arm across my body again. “How could you possibly think you were going to sneak out of this tiny bed?”

“I had to go to the bathroom. You were completely passed out, snoring, so there was a chance you’d stay asleep.”

“I do not snore.”

“Dude. You totally snore.”

“No, I don’t.”

I lifted my head to pull out the braids stuck behind my back. “Yes, you do. It didn’t wake me up, but I heard it. It sounded like a cartoon snore, where the tissue blows up over your nose from the air shooting out.”


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Saturday, July 25, 2009

"A writer writing a book about how writers should write books."



"Must have been a huge seller."

As some of you readers may know, I have been working on the sequel toSteve the Penguin, entitled Hot Penguin Action. Writing a 200-page novel has taken over much of my mind grapes. Hence, the slow down of posts on this blog.

For you readers, I do have an excerpt, which will probably be amended prior to the final edit. Enjoy!


"I'm having my ex-husband's baby."

There I sat, bemused by Liesl's statement. I wondered how my usually coherent best friend could sound like a guest on Maury. That show always made my life look good.

"It's Scott's. Of course. If I am actually pregnant. I'm a month late, and the test I took came out green, instead of pink or blue. I haven't told anyone else yet."

I was shocked. Liesl called her family for advice on everything. I once witnessed Liesl moderating a conference call with her mother, father, sister and brother to confirm whether her pink dress should be washed with the white laundry or with the darks.

"Then there's nothing to tell."

"I'm always on time, Bianca."

"You're only a month late. I have been late, early, long, short. Although, I'm not the one who has been engaging in unprotected sex with her husband for over a year."

"Exactly. You're not having sex."

"Yes, I know." Like I needed another voice in my head telling me my vajayjay was never going to get any action. Honestly, I could have put it storage. No one else was using it.

"You don't have to worry about getting pregnant, since you're not with anybody."

"That's nice, Liesl. You still want me to be sympathetic, right?"

"Sorry." She paced back and forth across my room. "How did this happen? I was on the pill."

"It is 95% effective. Although, with the stress of the divorce, your hormones are probably . . . "

"Whacked out? Yeah. I haven't felt normal for a while. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm not sure I want to have it."

I patted Liesl's arm. "If you want to end your pregnancy, it's your decision."

"I don't want to have an abortion. If this is really happening, I'm having the baby, and I'm keeping it. The problem is raising a baby. I never planned to be a single mother. A baby needs two parents."

"When I was growing up, half of my friends had single parents. And for the most part, they turned out great. Conversely, the people who lived with both biological parents are the ones who turned out a bit off." Case in point, Liesl: a product of a two-parent household who ended up divorced before 30, with a child on the way.

Liesl frowned. "Why couldn't this have happened to you?"

Because I don't have sexual relations with the insane?


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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Musings from a black woman: I can weigh in on this!


Write What You Know: Limiting or Authentic?, by Neesha Meminger, Racialicious. Emphases mine. It is a long post, but keep reading. You can do it!

The other day, I came across a blog post by Editorial Anonymous, “The CSK is Dead (Long Live the CSK).” The Coretta Scott King Award was established in 1969 and is given to outstanding African-American authors and illustrators of children’s books.

Editorial Anonymous writes,


"If the CSK were in charge, male writers wouldn't be able to comment on what it's like to be a woman. The CSK is saying that you cannot understand what it is to be black in America unless you are black.

"Giving an award for creating art about the experience of race is a wonderful thing. But giving an award for creating art and being a particular race?

"That’s racism in action."


So this set me a-pondering. Is it cool for white people to write from the perspective of people of color? How about, as Editorial Anonymous mentions in the quote above, for men to write from the perspective of women?

[. . .]

[prize-winning white woman author Laurie Halse Anderson] also goes on to write, “Slavery affects all Americans today, regardless of ethnic background, or how long our families have lived here. Slavery is the elephant in our country’s living room. It won’t go away until we acknowledge, understand, and deal with it.”


This is absolutely true. Racism (and slavery) affects every single one of us, no matter what our background. White people should be taking it up as an issue – just as men should be taking up the issue of sexism and misogyny –and talking about it, examining it, exploring, and looking for more equitable and just paradigms. And writing a novel like Chains may be this one white woman’s way of doing that.


So . . . what’s the issue? Is there an issue?


There is the view among some writers that one’s creativity or artistic vision should not be limited or “fenced in,” and restricting writers to write only what they know does exactly that. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard some variation of, “Who wants to read about a liberal white woman from New Jersey/Iowa/Seattle?” [I would!]


However, in an interview on ustrek.org, Sherman Alexie, author of Ten Little Indians and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian, as well as the writer/director for Smoke Signals, jokingly suggested a “10-year moratorium for white writers so that Indians can tell their own stories instead of having white people tell them. ‘The fact is, when white authors step away from their typewriters, they’re still white. When I get up from the typewriter, I’m still an Indian.’ He wants those authors to question their privileged positions.”


[. . .]

Next time you go to a bookstore, check the shelves and see how many books there, are in any given genre on any given subject, written by people of color. My guess is that very few genres, if any, will have an accurate representation of global demographics in the titles. And that is because there are so few writers of color getting picked up and supported by publishers in any kind of substantial way (a là Twilight, Harry Potter, The Princess Diaries, etc. And, of course, these examples hold true for film as they were all adaptations of novels).


As a South Asian author writing YA, I know from experience that many editors are hesitant to pick up more than one novel with an Indian-American protagonist written by an Indian-American author – even if the two novels are different genres and about entirely different subjects – because both novels still fall under the Multicultural category. This often creates the “everyone elbowing for the one seat on the bus” phenomenon among the marginalized authors who have to fight for that one lone multicultural spot. But I digress…


Yet, as we all know from visiting our local bookstores, or taking an online stroll through Amazon, there is an abundance of books/films by white writers writing on every subject, in every genre – with more than one writer often covering the same topic for varying perspectives. A publishing house can have several white fantasy authors and historical romance authors, even a few writing about spiritual journeys and all of those books are seen as different books. None of my white author friends have ever had their agents come back to them with, “No, this editor declined because she already has a European title about identity issues.”


I, on the other hand,
have heard that exact same phrase, substituting “European” with “Asian.” . . .


I thought about this recently as I was looking at some of my associates who insist upon socializing with and befriending others based on color and gender. I'm not kidding. It is that bad. When you look at them, you feel embarrassed for them. It is hard to believe that they are 30-year-olds living in California, instead of high school seniors going to a segregated Georgia prom.

As I try to explain to people with whom I have enlightening discussions, there is a difference between white men writing about nonwhite and/or nonmale people, and those people writing about themselves. For instance, I know infinitely more about white men than they could ever know about me or any other black woman. I have personally encountered thousands of white men in my short lifetime. That does not include the countless number of white men I have been forced to read about, listen to or watch as part of my "educational" process. In the United States, white men are in your face all the time. Unless you live on a reservation with no mainstream media access, you cannot escape them. I could tell you gross generalizations of what they like, what they don't like, how they grew up, what they think of themselves, the lies they have been told and which they subsequently believe, and who they dream of becoming and why. I could adopt a pseudonym, write Memoirs of Joe Six-Pack, and it would sell millions. (Don't steal my idea! Or, if you do, please blog about it and let me know.)

However, that does not work in the reverse. Some white men have never met any black women, or any nonwhite people at all. Others can count all the colorful friends they have ever had on one hand. They could also count the important black women they have heard of on two hands. An example:

  1. Rosa Parks
  2. Harriet Tubman
  3. Michelle Obama
  4. Oprah
  5. The overly-mentioned Halle Berry
  6. Weezy Jefferson
  7. Whoopi Goldberg
  8. Tyra Banks
  9. um . . .

There aren't even any black women in either of the Night at the Museum movies, as if black women never existed in history, or at least in museums. There are two women (barely) featured in the second one, including Amy Adams, who primarily function as Ben Stiller's younger, better-looking love interest. Or "Amelia Earhart." Whichever.

Based on my above analysis, writing what you know may be limiting, but it can be more authentic. It is revolting that so many books, TV shows and movies that include (white) female characters are written by (white) men. It comes through in the voices of those characters, like when those middle-aged men were writing about those self-involved twentysomethings. It is dishonest, less than believable and disappointing. If more nonwhite and nonmale people were allowed to actively participate in the infrastructure of corporate media, then sure, write whatever you want. But that is not the case, and I do not appreciate having my alleged story told by white men who all share the same one black friend. That is, if my story gets told at all.

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