Being someone's worst nightmare

I watched an excerpt of this video on Current TV today. It made me sad, seeing that there is such prevalent hatred of people like me, whose only crime is being born this way. This way meaning black, as opposed to one of my many other attributes that inspire prejudice and discrimination against me.

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"Blingitude is girl's BFF, AEAE."

I don't know what that means. Oh. Do people actually say any of that?

Here is another of my favorite videos this week:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
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"CNN correspondent--I'm sorry. MSNBC anchor--I'm sorry. Fox News sock monkey Tucker Carlson . . . "

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"That toaster's a power bottom."

"But sometimes companies make ads just for gays that air on Logo, and occasionally the other Logo, where, let's face it, no straight person will see that ad."

Ha!

"Separate but equal jeans. A concept that's always worked well in America. Because God forbid people see a gay puppet on any of these shows."

Ha ha!

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I'm not old. Yet.

Thank goodness I have a few more years before I have to take all those pills. But what about Sally Field and her Boniva?

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"How would you describe your sexual experience in terms of tomatoes?"

"Spaghetti sauce."

I wonder why there aren't any dating advice books called Think Like a Woman for men. Maybe publishers think men can't read. Like Jordan Catalano.

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"This product is definitely for washing your face."

"Yep."

Ha!

This product is definitely for shaving your legs. This product is definitely for massaging your back.

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My favorite part of Super Bowl Sunday

It was Super Special indeed. Thank you, Sarah Haskins!

The video is 48 minutes and nine seconds long, so pace yourself.

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Snowmen (and snowwomen) are round and lovable.

They don't need the Special K challenge. So step off, kid.

That little girl needs to watch some Sarah Haskins before she starts dieting in five years.

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I guess it's just you and me, Panda.

Except I don't need any smokes. You can go get me a cookie.

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The only celebrity endorsement I trust:

Per the end of the video, I think a sizeable portion of my readership is special white women (maybe even more than five), and they already know how much I care. So, you're welcome. :)

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But I don't want to marry Colin Firth.

Hilarious! Also, can't birth control simply focus on controlling potential births instead of giving women fewer periods? "What if getting fewer periods and taking hormones will turn me into a mutant?"

I thought women weren't supposed to be funny?

Target Women: Wedding Shows, by Sarah Haskins at Current, via Feministing.

Here's the video that first brought the funny to me, also via Feministing:

Oh, Jamie Lee Curtis. You were so good in Freaky Friday: Chad and Lindsay edition. You and Baby Mama-love-interest/former-Oscar-nominee Greg Kinnear should get together, discuss the direction of your careers and figure out how to get back on track. However, I do adore Leisha Hailey and her friend hawking Yoplait. They are so quippy and fun! Although, how cheap are the bride and groom that the members of their wedding party had to bring their own snacks?

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