I still heart Law & Order,

 and I still heart John Mulaney's jokes about Law & Order:


"Mmm . . . I'll allow it. But watch yourself, McCoy."

Every time!

Plus, Briscoe and Green = best L&O partners ever.

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I discovered this new show.

It's called "Ugly Betty." You readers may have heard of it. My friends have been secretly watching this program for the past two years and hiding its fabulousness from me.

Oh, what's that? My friends have been telling me I should watch Ugly Betty since the show's debut in 2006? And on Super Bowl Sunday, after I mentioned that young brown performers like Bow Wow and Omarion should appear on more TV shows, all of my friends started yelling at me at the same time about the episode they were both in? Then my friends continued to be horrified when I told them the show used to conflict with 30 Rock and The Office, so it would be hard for me to catch up with it now? And my friends were still indignant when I said I felt bad going to the ABC website to watch the old episodes while the writers' strike is still going on? Hmm.

Okay, so while I was sick this week, I made another Christopher Columbus-type discovery called "Netflix." I signed up, put the first season of Ugly Betty in my queue, and I just finished episode three, "Queens for a Day," featuring self-aggrandizing director Billy Walsh from Entourage. Fun!

Also, how lovely is Jeremy Sisto in Law & Order this season? I didn't get Carrie's thing for the "Crazy Creepy Sisto" that she referenced in My Boys, but now I have my own thing for Detective Cyrus (huh?) Lupo, who's studying for law school in between murder investigations. He's trying to make a better life for himself. It's like a grown-up version of my infatuation with Charlie Conway from D2: The Mighty Ducks. I wasn't into Joshua Jackson. I was specifically attracted to his character Charlie in D2. Though not Charlie in The Mighty Ducks so much, and definitely not in D3. Charlie was such a loser in D3. And where was Brandon Adams? Was there only room enough for one black guy on the ice that time? No, I'm not counting Aaron Lohr because he is indeterminately ethnic. Why hasn't Aaron been on Ugly Betty?

Your thoughts?

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Law & Order is an urban show.

It takes place in New York City, the epitome of the word urban. However, black people in general are not "urban." Not all black people live in cities, or even suburbs. I, for one, grew up on an island with many other black people. These two black men who were shot by a trigger-happy white man named Joe Horn in Pasadena, Texas, were not "urban" either. I'm glad that someone is finally addressing this idiotic semantic issue:

Gabrielle Union does not like black movies labeled as ‘urban’, by Kirshan Murphy at Nubian Waves.

"No one calls Fred Claus the white Christmas movie. The Perfect Holiday is a movie about the holidays. It’s not race-specific.

"If there’s more than one black person in the movie, it’s an urban romantic comedy, an urban thriller - it’s just a flipping movie..."

I would never call Fred Claus "the white Christmas movie." I would call it, "the reason to avoid the theater." If I want to watch a holiday film starring an overpaid "comedian", I'll catch one of the thousand cable airings of The Santa Clause or Elf, both of which I also own.

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"How often do you talk to homicide detectives?"

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John Mulaney - Jerry Orbach
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The jokes about Law & Order come about three minutes in. They're funny because they're true. I wish he had done a joke about Jerry Orbach's inappropriate hilarity. Dennis Farina tried to recreate it during the two seasons he was on, but his quips came off as less hilarious and more inappropriate. Someone died, dude.

If anyone can get me a clip of Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Poehler doing their Law & Order sketch on SNL, I will love you to pieces. My fellow TV-obsessed friend told me about it, but did not tape the episode. Harumph.