"You know, emperor penguins spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together."
"Can you for one second believe that maybe I'm not some full-of-shit guy, that maybe I do like you, that maybe the other night was special?"
"I think the British taxpayer is being very mean about moaning about paying for this wedding. I mean, it's a privilege, isn't it?"
Thank goodness it's not my privilege. My taxes are going to better things, like three illegal wars on foreign soil.
"I'd prefer to be paying for the royal wedding and cleaning the streets afterwards and for all the security than to be paying for illegal immigrants to claim benefits and live in sinker states."
"Oh! Why not make it a race issue?"
"Yes!"
No!
Did Mr. Oliver say that the royal wedding will cost taxpayers 20 million pounds (at 2:38)? Based on current exchange rates, that's about 33 jillion dollars! You know how many British weddings I could throw for £20 million? About 20. Wedding planners don't come cheap.
"In a show of solidarity with his fellow scribes, the Daily Show host has told his writing staff that he will cover all their salaries for the next two weeks, according to a well-placed source. He has also vowed to do the same for writers on The Colbert Report. A Comedy Central spokesman referred my inquiry about this to Stewart's personal publicist, who has yet to respond.
"Stewart's intention, says the source, is to ensure his writers will face no financial hardship should the strike, which kicked off at 3 a.m. local time, conclude within that timeframe."
"The production you are working on may come to completion, or because your particular skills may no longer be needed, you may not be picked up for another week or day (whichever is applicable) under your deal memo (if applicable). Therefore your work on the production may come to an end. Although we are not required by law to provide this notice, we wanted to give you as much notice as possible so that you can make appropriate arrangements."
First, my personal business. I am no longer watching The Daily Show. (Yet I am still watching Entourage. Go figure.) No, it was not the John McCain "IED under the desk" interview earlier this week. Nor was it the "look at Senator Harry Reid squeezing Speaker Nancy Pelosi's breasts" PhotoShopped clip that Jon thought was hilarious. It was the Baghdad wall segment on Wednesday, where the show used Aasif Mandvi to assert that if you leave large slab of cement exposed long enough, it will get tagged by Latino heritage graffiti. What a crock.
I am so done with Jon Stewart's hypocrisy, his lecturing others about their intolerance, injustice and discrimination, while he seems unable to hire or invite anyone as a guest on the show who isn't a white male. And if he does encounter someone female or nonwhite--but never both--he goes out of his way to announce how hot they are, or only talk to them about racial issues. Or in the case of Mr. Mandvi, get one brown guy to tell the jokes about the other brown guys. Like Alberto Gonzales.
In happier news, I have found Designing Women again. It's back on Nick at Nite, every other day maybe, at 5:00 am. The other days Murphy Brown is on at 5:00 am. Apparently Nick at Nite has made a pact with Bill Cosby, Will Smith and the rest of the Black Crusaders, along with Roseanne, to play their hit shows ad nauseum. Now I love Fresh Prince as much as the next American. Although I do prefer the episodes before they got rid of Janet Hubert-Whitten. But must it be on all night every night?
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Onto the articles I found this week.
For the love of Stars Hollow, will someone please cancel 'Gilmore Girls'? by Maureen Ryan, Chicago Tribune. Hear hear! There there! The last episode, "It's Just Like Riding a Bike," was so hetero. Must everything in every character's life revolve around hooking up with a member of the opposite sex? Yes, Seasons 2 and 3 were rooted in the Rory-Dean-Jess love triangle. But there was so much more going on.
Now I actually have to sit and watch Sookie accept that her husband deceitfully impregnated her, and forgive him for it just because he wants her to. Um, no, David Rosenthal. In the real world, if Sookie didn't want to have another baby, she would have explored all of her options. Lane would have, too. Even in Stars Hollow, sex has consequences. And not everyone is ready for a baby. Or two. Or three. If your husband lies to you about getting a vasectomy, and you know that at one point in time he wanted "four in four" i.e. four kids in four years, and you are now pregnant with his unplanned child, you have a right to be angry at him, for as long as you want. If Jackson can't deal with that, he can leave. It's not like he is giving birth to this baby.
Even those Mr. G-L is not on camera, I still squee when I hear his voice. He's so cute! I hope he isn't a racist puppy-kicker. He probably smokes, though. Boo.
A dramatic pay gap emerges between women and men in America the year after they graduate from college and widens over the ensuing decade, according to research released on Monday.
One year out of college, women working full time earn 80 percent of what men earn, according to the study by the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation, based in Washington D.C.
Ten years later, women earn 69 percent as much as men earn, it said.
Even as the study accounted for such factors as the number of hours worked, occupations or parenthood, the gap persisted, researchers said.
"If a woman and a man make the same choices, will they receive the same pay?" the study asked. "The answer is no.
Accompanied by reporters and food stamp recipient Christina Sigman-Davenport, Kulongoski headed straight for a display of organic bananas, only to have Sigman-Davenport steer him toward the cheaper non-organic variety.
The governor pined wistfully for canned Progresso soups, but at $1.53 apiece, they would have blown the [$21 budget]. He settled instead for three packages of Cup O'Noodles for 33 cents apiece. Kulongoski also gave up his usual Adams natural, no-stir peanut butter for a generic store brand, but drew the line at saving money by buying peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
"I don't much like the looks of that," said Kulongoski, 66, staring at the concoction.
I don't like the looks of that either. Ew. But I wouldn't pass up some food stamps. There are times I'd like some meat and potatoes. Vegetables, too.
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on the record, by pigeon, at Taking Steps, via one of the newest Sites I Like, Feministe.
...i didn’t expect the duke case to shake me so much. i feel like i hear about, talk about, read about, think about rape every day. i like to think i’ve built up some callous at this point, a tough, thick covering to take the edge off...
...now you hear the news, following “three boys innocent” with “she was never raped” and liar and whore. and no one seems to notice that the accused men’s innocence has nothing to do with whether or not she was raped, only that they didn’t do it. she called 911 for a reason, she went to the hospital afterwards, the examination supported her claims of sexual assault. we have no reason to think those results were wrong, no new information to contest it. perhaps she picked the wrong guys from the line-up, but that has little to do with what actually happened to her...
I could quote, quote, quote, but y'all should read the whole thing for yourselves.
The Indian-American poet Kazim Ali teaches at Shippensburg University, which is a little west of Harrisburg, PA (and not too far from where I myself teach).
On his website, he recently described how his “suspicious” behavior led to his entire campus being shut down. The behavior in question? Recycling. He was doing nothing other than dropping off a stack of printouts of poems to be recycled when someone from the campus ROTC called the police...
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Lastly, in Hollywood news that's too vapid for the room, both from the LA Times, via Defamer: Power plays -- for a food court table, by Nicole LaPorte.
Century City is under attack. In a "300"-like assault, two silk-shirted waves of flashy Hollywood agents have infiltrated the Westside's most famous — and famously nondescript — office-park neighborhood, hitherto best known for a mall (the Westfield) and a hotel (the Century Plaza).
The invaders consist of two rival armies. The Creative Artists Agency minions were the first to land, having moved into their gargantuan new headquarters at 2000 Avenue of the Stars in January. Then, on Feb. 20, International Creative Management staked its claim to the territory, moving into three floors of the MGM Tower...
...But that's small change compared with the tactical maneuvers required for eating lunch. Imagine, if you will, Armani-uniformed agents standing in line with soccer moms at the Westfield mall's food court or balancing plastic trays loaded up with beer-battered chicken or Fuddruckers fries. "With all the suits and sunglasses, it feels like "The Matrix: The Food Court," joked manager-producer J.C. Spink ("A History of Violence").
And with such brazenly public dining come perils. "You can't really talk business because you've got CAA right there. And they've got us," said an ICM agent, who spoke on condition of anonymity (silence is the agency policy when dealing with the press). "I've heard people at CAA having their conversations — you can hear everything."
FOR FOUR weeks in April of 2006, I was an Internet celebrity. In one industry, in one city, I was a star. The blogs went crazy. Defamer was all over me. National Public Radio wanted an interview — but I turned them down. My site got more than a million hits in 24 hours.
It all started one morning the previous December, the same week the Hollywood Reporter listed the 100 most powerful women in Hollywood — the trade's equivalent of a swimsuit issue...
...Over the phone that morning, I gossiped about the list of 100 Powerful Women, women I'd never seen before. I didn't need to see them. The list said that looks don't matter, only power.
But because we have little or no actual power, the opposite must be true for assistants. If an agent gets a new assistant, the first thing my boss always wants to know is, "Is she hot?" I looked around our office and saw not a single unattractive assistant, and that's when it hit me: Don't the assistants deserve a list too?
I pulled out my credit card, registered a domain name, and Hottest Hollywood Assistants.com was born.
Let's see... I'll need room number two tomorrow for the Prosecutor scandal testimony.
Can't. Walter Reed scandal's in two. You'll have to use room number three.
But three's being used for the FBI illegal spying investigation. What about room one?
No good. That's for the Katrina hearings. Oh wait, never mind, that's Lieberman's committee...nothing scheduled there. You can have room one.
Hold up there, pard'ner. I reserved room one for the Valerie Plame scandal. Use room four.
Nah, four's taken. Investigation into bogus reasons for going to war.
Five? Nope. Torture scandal's in five.
Six? No can do. War profiteering scandal.
Seven? Nope. Subprime lending scandal.
Eight? Sorry. Abramoff scandal.
Nine? Booked. GSA scandal.
Ten? Nope. Boehner ethics scandal.
Boehner? Really?
Shook down a Girl Scout. Made off with 43 bucks and a case of thin mints.
How about room eleven?
That's the men's room. But it's wide open.
Fine. I'll take it.
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In other news, I am done with October Road. I couldn't get through the second episode. I love you, Bryan Greenberg (and you, too, Mr. Minkus), but Bryan, you do not have enough acting talent to carry a series, especially one this poorly written.
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Open memo to Joseph Gordon-Levitt:
Please do a movie that makes me laugh. 10 Things is one of my faves, but I've already seen it at least 20 times. This depressing Lookout, Shadowboxer, Brickindie oeuvre isn't doing it for me. I don't care what those Sundance people are telling you; bring back the funny. Don't make me have to get my fix from buying Seasons 2-6 of 3rd Rock.
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Finally, Daily Show, you are on notice. Mr. Stewart, hire some new writers and some funny correspondents I can relate to (John Hodgman, Larry Wilmore, and Rob Riggle: don't worry, you're all safe), because your show is this close to SNL country.
"It's rare that we find anyone that we want to be a part of Frangela - but reading Steve the Penguin was like talking to our other girlfriend. Mahlena-Rae is that voice inside all of our heads - wishing for more, wanting more - sometimes scared and sometimes crazy. Mahlena-Rae Johnson has done what few authors have been able to do; she has created an experience, a journey that feels familiar and real and yet, takes you places you don't ever expect. We loved it!"
- Frances Callier and Angela V Shelton aka Frangela
* * *
"If you want to see how Bianca Reagan deals with maintaining a fast-paced life of an Angeleno, catching up with old friends, and exploring feelings for an old crush all within a week, then pick up this book and read it!"
"...what woman doesn’t want to find her Steve the Penguin? The Steve to their Miranda?...That guy who will keep that egg warm while us girls are out looking for food...
If you want to read a fun book with that is filled with wit and humor then you must check out Steve the Penguin."
"First-time author Mahlena-Rae Johnson weaves the story of a 20-something-year-old television junkie turned Hollywood executive assistant preparing for her trip back to her childhood home of St. Thomas for a high-school reunion."
"If you like fun, funny romantic comedies, then trip attractively over to your local quirky independent bookstore in your funky scarf - and while not noticing the diamond-in-the-rough, nerdy cashier who really likes you - flirt with the unavailable, self-absorbed zine-writer shoplifting organic chocolates by the cash register- and BUY THIS BOOK!" - Maria Bamford, Comedian of Comedy
* * *
"'Steve the Penguin' is the literary companion to ABC’s Ugly Betty."
"In her debut novel Steve the Penguin, Mahlena-Rae Johnson doesn't reinvent the formula but rather creates an original heroine within the Single Gal genre...
Mahlena-Rae Johnson is an original, new voice in the genre..."
"Mahlena captures the stress and self-doubt I think most of us feel at the prospect of facing people we haven't seen in years, and thereby facing a version of ourselves we haven't seen in years . . .
. . . I highly recommend checking out Mahlena's book -- and Bianca's blog, which is full of musings about all things political and cultural -- some serious, some irreverent, and some completely hilarious."
"Steve the Penguin is definitely a witty, charming, must-read. I recommend this book to anyone out there searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, or anyone who has enjoyed The Devil Wears Prada, Sex in the City reruns, Girlfriends, pop culture or 'pop politics' in general, and anyone out there who has ever 'dreaded their high school reunion.' "
"Steve the Penguin opens the door to the mysterious lives of Young Single Adults--those of us who didn't get married and have children back when all of our friends and siblings did--and now have to face their pitying/condescending stares as we return to our ten-year high school reunions without a date . . .
Steve the Penguin is fun at the same time that it brings the reader's attention to social and societal issues and attitudes. While you think you're getting some light reading in, you actually get a bit of heavy thinking done as well."
"Johnson is in her element when she tackles the issues facing young women-- friendships, body image, men and the nerve-wracking hell that is high school reunion time. This book's greatest strength is its well-written characters and relationships, in particular female friendships . . .
If you’re a fan of fast-paced, witty dialogue ala Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then Mahlena-Rae Johnson’s style is up your alley. Pop culture references pepper the pages and inject an even more ‘real’ edge to Bianca’s world . . ."
