Friday, July 28, 2006

Dear Lance Bass,

Your Big Gay Announcement will never make me forget the following:

  • Your (unintentionally) comedic masterpiece On the Line, a movie that you not only starred in, but also executive produced, in which you and infamous Joey "525,600 minutes!" Fatone chased Emanuelle "Snow Day" Chriqui around some random city.
  • Your failed attempt to become an astronaut--excuse me, cosmonaut. What, NASA wasn't good enough for you, you had to go into space with some Russians?
  • Your perpetually frosted blonde hair, which has varied in length and shades of yellow over the past 10 years.
  • Your makeout scene with Beverley "Saw II" Mitchell on 7th Heaven.
  • Your highly publicized "just friends"hip with Danielle "Topanga" Fishel, when Boy Meets World and *NSync were both cool.

Your fan, until you start eating babies for attention,

Bianca Erin-Dempsey

P.S. Joey, don't think I forgot My Big Fat Greek Life. This Odd Couple sitcom remake better be good; you and Lance are both on notice.


Anonymous said...

You took the words out of my mind. Mind you, this was years ago. But still.

I went by myself to see "On The Line." I loved it.

Bianca Reagan said...

Oh, anonymous. I had the decency to rent On the Line and watch it in my room, so as not to shame myself in the theater. Plus, I didn't have a car then, and I doubt any of my friends wanted to see it.