My favorite part of Bossypants:

Image via morethanwalk.tumblr.com

Thanks for sharing this story in your book, Tina Fey!


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It's still funny a week later.

"Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for President as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke."

"Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans, because it will streamline their search for a Vice President."

"Donald Trump said recently he has a 'great relationship with the blacks.' Though, unless 'the Blacks' are a family of white people, I bet he's mistaken."

Zing!


Additional hilarity from President Obama:





"I want to make clear to the Fox News table, that was a joke. That was not my real birth video. That was a children's cartoon. Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original longform version."


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"Let's leave New Jersey out of this."

"That's what the Constitution should have said."

Ha!

BT-dubs, I forgot he was black, too (at 4:25). That's the power of Fred Armisen.

Also:





That's what I'm saying, Andy.

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"Really?!?"

Yes, Saturday Night Live was actually funny this week, due in large part to Betty White. The other thing that helped? Guest appearances by former cast members from when the show had jokes.

I would have liked some "What up with That?", but I had to settle for some Scared Straight:





Also, what is Burn Notice?



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"Denise is the other black woman who works here."

I never have that problem since I'm usually the only black woman in the room. :( But I sure could use some of that specifically branded Excedrin.

~

Here is another of my favorite SNL clips from the 2000s:



Oh, Larry Craig. You embarrassed so many people, and provided laughter for us all.

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"Who are you going to go after next? Koalas? Baby Koalas?"

"I mean really!?! Rude! Really!?!"

Really, NBC? I can't embed the video? I mean really!?! Rude! Really!?!

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Really!?!

(Skip to 2:16 for the reference. Darn you, AIG.)

This morning I clicked on the Shine link on left side of my Yahoo! front page. The About Us section of Shine includes the following:

When we started talking about creating a new website for women, we wanted to avoid all of the common categories that advertisers or marketers tend to put us in. We didn’t want to be a site just for moms or just for single women or working women, or any specific demo- or psychographic. We wanted to create a smart, dynamic place for women to gather, get info and to connect with each other and the world around them . . .

. . . We’ve got a woman campaigning for the top job in the country, female bloggers now outnumber men, and we’ve got Tina Fey writing a hit network show for goodness sakes. We no longer need to stand by passively as the media portrays us as fashion-obsessed diet victims. With the internet as our megaphone, we can now portray ourselves as funny, opinionated women who are in charge of our incomes, careers, families and happiness.

So what you won’t find on Shine: Advice on how to please your man and diets that urge you to "lose 10 pounds fast!" . . .

Coolness!

But then I scrolled down Shine's frontpage and found the following headlines under the love + sex section:

Is there such a thing as an "ugly vagina"?

and

I need advice: Spit or swallow?

I spent the next few minutes yelling at my computer screen. Then I wondered, Is this really "a smart, dynamic place for women"? I certainly have more pressing issues to ponder than "an ugly vage". For instance, the illegal occupation of Iraq, or the genocide in Darfur, or the 2008 US Presidential election. Shine does address our current political state with the following front and center article: Obama v. McCain: A fashion face-off, subtitled, "First Lady Fashion Smackdown".

Yeah.

I do some advice for Ms. Vajajay and the Concerned Spitter. If you are with a gentleman--and I use that term loosely--who insults your vagina or gets upset when you don't swallow his ejaculate, then kick him to the curb. Tell him "to the left", and keep it moving. Your partner should see you as more than an eager-to-please sperm receptacle. Moreover, you should see yourself as more than that. Stop trying to figure out what someone else might like. Figure out what you want and what makes you happy. Then go from there.

Those Shine people should hire me. I am an expert at giving advice about issues which I have no experience in.

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