Because I'm awesome.

The song:

The backup:

The second backup:

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I know times are tough, but

if you're shooting a video for my new favorite song, you should remember to budget for a set and wardrobe. Two chairs, a mattress and the back of a car does not make for a compelling comeback, Jesse. I'm not asking for late-90s era "Pop" or "Larger than Life". But even New Kids got to party on the beach with some extras.

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Note to New Kids:

Hiring anorexic 19-year-olds to gyrate on you when you're pushing 40 doesn't make you look younger. It makes you look like the skeevy old guys that you are. Yeah, I saw that E! True Hollywood Story. "If you're coming up, you have to put out." Ew. Considering the amount of putting out the Kids did in the late 80s, there's a good chance one of the models in the video could be their illegitimate daughter. Ew squared.

Talk about not knowing your audience. Who are Donnie, Danny, Joey, Jordan and Jon (the shy one!) trying to horrify/impress with that display? Most of their fans are women over 25. And most of their male fans are gay (according to cursory research). Do they really think that young straight guys are going to watch "Summertime", see the models, and say, "Sign me up for some New Kids on the Block tickets. That's the right stuff. Baby!"

BT-dubs, this is my favorite NKOTB song. It's from the Free Willy 2 soundtrack, appearing right after Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There?". Speaking of Free Willy, whatever happened to Jason James Richter? He seems to still be alive, so that's good.

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