Friday, May 25, 2007

The Law Fairy says it best.

via Feministing, under the nausea-inducing post Dane Cook keeps it classy:


slightly off topic, but is anyone else totally turned off by the new movie "knocked up"? everytime i see a preview i wanna scream

The Law Fairy:

honwood, yeah... that's got to be like the WORST romantic comedy setup EVER.

"Hmm, funny-looking one-night-stand guy knocked me up. SHIT. Oh well, I don't like the options of 1) abortion, 2) adoption, or 3) raising the child by myself or with someone I actually KNOW enough to enter into a committed relationship with, so I guess I'll just spend the rest of my life with a man who for all I know just gave me AIDS."

Yeah, genius plot there.

Okay, first? If you clicked on the classy link...who in their right mind wants to blow Dane Cook? (That was rhetorical, put down your hands.) I don't know anyone who wants to see him perform on stage, much less in their face.

Back to Knocked Up. In what universe would Seth Rogen's character end up with Katherine Heigl's character? Even if you look past the grave disparity between their levels of attractiveness, Seth possesses neither the wit nor the charm to lure a blonde shiksa-goddess like Heigl. The real Seth might have money and (relative) fame. But even in real life, Katherine is on Grey's Anatomy. Which hit TV show is Seth in again?

Oh yeah, that's right. Both of his one season, though critically acclaimed, shows got cancelled. Over five years ago.

Yeah, Seth was in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. But he wasn't the Virgin. He wasn't even the funniest sidekick.

Every time I see that stupid commercial on my TV screen, I feel like yelling, "Why this accidental pregnancy movie about the schlubby guy who inseminated a woman way out of his league? Why isn't it about the woman who got pregnant?!"

Because that's not how Judd Apatow rolls. In the words of Stephen Colbert, Judd's a man, and men know what men like. Apparently men like hairy, paunchy buffoons that can magically hook up with supermodels. Judd couldn't diverge from his winning formula and make a movie starring realistic women in humorous situations. Because women aren't funny. Don't you remember?


Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bianca Reagan said...

Who is Josh Kelly? And who is this "she" who "loves all of that"?

We can still be friends. And how could I look down on you. You're taller than I am.

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

OH, THANK YOU! When I looked on the internet for reviews, the solidly male film reviewers said best movie ever! On the Ebert show, they had the reviewer from the New Yorker and he actually said - "oh you have a chubby girl and a really handsome guy -- that would never fly." Let's imagine that for a moment. Would all the good girls and gee-wee guys say that would be the BEST MOVIE EVER?

So this movie is supposed to take 10 dollars of your money and 2 hours of your time to see a wonderful lady sign up for a future of being the grumbling tolerant Marge Simpson? What about her happy ending? So she faces a future of shitty diapers and stretch marks with mr. skid mark? Girls are supposed to applaud this? A future of being with a the least compatible guy that you don't love and have no chemistry with and shitty diapers. Yea!

Bianca Reagan said...

I'd pick Josh. He's cute.

Thank you for your comment, anonymous! I'm sure some of those male reviewers you mentioned are chubby themselves. How did you find my blog? Do you have a blog, too?

Catherine Avril Morris said...

Hnyah-hah, funny post!! I'm sorry, I'm with Stephanie--I want to see it, despite the fact that you're right in everything you pointed out. I just really like Seth Rogen, from Freaks & Geeks days. He's kinda my favorite physical type, too--big guys with cute faces and tattoos...yeah. I've always been a sucker for those. Maybe because I went too many years dating guys who weighed the same as me, and were only a coupla-few inches taller.

(Also, apropos of not much, I just saw on your profile page that you listed Dazed & Confused as one of your favorite, hey, guess what? I was in that movie! I had a tiny speaking role, as Julie, the sophomore who Wiley Wiggins/Mitch the wimpy lead freshman kid flirts & hooks up with halfway through the movie. Um, that is all.)

Bianca Reagan said...

catherine, I must inform you that I am now freaking out. That storyline was my favorite part of the movie. Yes, there was the adorable Adam Goldberg part. And the Parker Posey air raid. And the Matthew McConaughey bon mots. (Whatever happened to that guy?)

But the Wiley Wiggins part where he hooked up with the sophomore girl, just by being his cool and unassuming self? That was so cute! Did you go to the movie's ten-year-reunion? Because I have the AMC (or TCM?) special on tape. I'll have to watch the movie and the special again.

I'm so excited!

You should really lead with "I was in Dazed and Confused." The whole writing career, cool fiance, and happy dogs thing you have going on is nice. But we're talking about a classic part of American cinema, largely based on jokes about weed. Priorities.

Anonymous said...

Bianca, I don't have a blog, but I am a professional writer - and I was cruising the internet when I saw "Knocked up" and I thought, is there anyone else that sees something wrong with this picture, literally?

Even the premise. The guy is not a diamond in the rough. Is this movie brought to us or funded by some conservative organization who think that getting mom to keep the baby and marry the baby is going to hold the fabric of society together? Clearly this is the fantasy of a shlubby guy as well? But where is the woman's happy ending, I ask again?

If you think that guy is "cute" and "kewl," imagine that in short order in that scenerio, you become the nag, the mother, the keeper of order and bills and all unfun things in the house, and chief fun killer, while the guy makes cameo appearances at parenting: the adorable holding asleep on the couch while the baby takes a nap, the crawling into an undersized house or jungle gym -- comedy ensues.

What possible outcome are we serving up to all the date-movie goers? Why is this fun for the kiddies? You become Marge Simpson. That wife on everyone loves Ramond.

The guy gets to have fun, not diet, be himself, a load of laughs to have a beer with, while you become the drudge. The woman grinds her teeth and becomes The one that pays the taxes, gets the kids up, goes to work regardless. When you get to be older, what do you do when you really fall in love with someone compatible, or does your sex drive and desire for compatible compansionship even count in this? Is that why women need a "starter marriage" to get the adorable fuff out of her system?

I ask you, what sort of success would a movie be if the roles were reversed. A chubby, stubbly young girl who is not the brightest bulb who shulbs around in a t-shirt and jeans gets knocked up with a shapely smart A-lister hottie (insert name here)? Would it be a happy ending that the guy commits her? Would it seem natural for that to be a best-ever date movie for all the male reviewers?

Are women allowed to be natural? Fumbling? Just okay? Just funny? And still get the "great" guy?

Or do we all have to be Marge Simpson? The mommy? The stern good girl that secretly grins at the loveable foof, but she cannot be as free herself. She has to sort of keep her girdle on, be the good girl, be the parent.

The message of this movie: Give it up girls, you're natural role is to deny, deny, deny yourself and be a mommy. It is god-ordained for you to be the mommy. And not just to a baby, but a man-child.

How many young women say to themselves: "I aspire to have a life like the wife on the Family Guy?" or "I aspire to be Marge Simpson, that is the happy ending for me." This movie is how that life starts. It's a great deal for the guy...

I really can't let this movie pass without comment. Never mind violence on tv or smokers in the movies, what are we teaching the youngsters here? What are we telling young women about what to expect and ask for in life?

Catherine Avril Morris said...

I did go to the 10-year reunion! Don't know if they cut out my teeny little bit or not, but I actually went up to the mic at one point, because it was all people like Matthew McC. and Parker P. and whoever else talking about how that movie launched the careers of so many good/popular I went up to the mic and said that it was a fabulous and never-to-be-forgotten experience even for those of us who DIDN'T go on to be big Hollywood types.

Then--you might laugh; OK, you will laugh--but this was one of the best moments of my life, ever: Shortly after saying that, the whole thing was finished, and we were filing off the stage, and there was Dennis Quaid! He was in town because they were filming The Alamo, so he had these big muttonchop sideburns. He looked at me and reached out to shake my hand, and said in this really deep voice, "I really liked what you had to say up there." I was totally star-struck, because I've had the HOTS for that guy since The Big Easy. And he approached ME! and shook MY hand!! So, I kind of said some inane thing and he gave me a weird look and quit shaking my hand and the moment was over, and I didn't get to go hump him.

If there's footage on your 10-year-anniv. recording of the ensemble cast up on a big stage answering questions posed by the audience, I'm somewhere around stage right, wearing a very long reddish-orange dress with straps.

I'm really glad you like the movie so much. :) I loved being in it, and was glad that my one and only movie was a good one.

And to Anonymous 7:38 pm -- right on. (Er, I still want to see Knocked Up. But I agree with everything you say...except that, from the previews anyway, there's nothing that makes me think there's Christianity behind it, particularly. Just the good ol' patriarchy at work as usual.)

Catherine Avril Morris said...

Oh--sorry to keep posting about this, but--I just realized, you must be referring to the documentary Kahane Something put out, with footage from the 10-year reunion? Yeah. I have that. She did an interview with me, then cut the whole thing out except one shot of me looking reallllly weird and asymmetrical. (I've never been very photogenic.) I was kind of pissed, because that doc. focused almost completely on Matthew M., Parker P., etc. etc.--all the big names. Of course, I mean, duh. But there were other interesting stories to be told, too. Not that mine was necessarily one of them, but...still.

OK, that's all.

Bianca Reagan said...

anonymous, thank you for your insight! I hadn't looked that deeply into the movie's premise, but you bring up some excellent points. What kind of writing do you do, and where can I read your work? Do you have a MySpace page?

catherine, I'm sure you did have an interesting story to tell. And I'm sure you're adorable and not unphotogenic. I'm not really into Dennis Quaid myself. Although Randy was funny in Independence Day.

Anonymous said...

I honestly loved this movie. It didn't seem entirely real to me, but to be frank, attractiveness isn't the sole factor in choosing a partner. If I were Heigl's character in the movie, there are worse choices than Seth Rogen's character (and they were all illustrated heavily in the movie - good Christ).

Anonymous said...

Are you all serious? You all sound so superficial and REDICULOUS. First of all, what does the fact that Seth Rogan has been in shows that were cancelled, and Katherine Heigl is on Greys Anatomy(which honestly people, it sucks) have to do with the plot of this movie? Second, what difference does it make that shes attractive and he wasn't? REALLY? Thats the world that we live in? A movie actually uses a not so sexy or smooth talking regular guy type, and you all have your panties in a bunch.? Really?
Anonymous7:38 your a moron. Thats all I have to say. I read your post and its really one of the most retarded thing i've ever read. You haven't even seen the movie yet. You think because you saw a few flashes on a preview you know what the whole movies about? how its going to end? Your whole post, beginning to end, was bulls**t.
Please people, actually go SEE a movie, and then critisize it. I saw this and LOVED it. It was really great. i actually felt it painted a realistic scenario, that I truly believed.
Sorry to go off on everyone but I honestly couldn't believe what i was reading and had to say so.

Bianca Reagan said...

Latest anonymous,

There is no need to call names. I didn't find anyone's argument "REDICULOUS." It's nice that you enjoyed the movie and felt the need to say so. However, it's rude to "critisize" others by calling them morons and labeling their writing as retarded. It also makes it hard to take your criticisms seriously when they are so spiteful and not at all constructive.

If you have a difference of opinion with myself or with another commenter, please share your views tactfully and politely, and also back them up. Personal attacks are not welcome here, nor do they further any healthy debate or insightful conversation.

Look at me moderating!

Fargus... said...

How many of those commenting critically have actually seen the movie?

Melissa said...

It looks like someone has forgotten that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If my husband bears a striking resemblance to Seth Rogen (which he does - with straighter hair) then I must be unattractive myself because there's no way a beautiful woman could love a shlubby man right?

It seems to me to be fairly anti-feminist to expect all leading men to be equally as conventionally attractive as their leading ladies. Or vice versa for that matter. As a feminist myself I would like to be judged based on who I am - my intelligence, my personality and my sense of humor - rather than what I look like, therefore that's how I try to judge people. Including men.

I happen to think Seth Rogen is very attractive because he's smart and funny. And I believe that no matter his level of success or fame in life or his character's in the show, he could absolutely score with Katherine Heigl in either.

Also, unplanned pregnancies and lapses in safe-sex judgment are not patently anti-feminist either. Unless feminists are supposed to be infallible and someone forgot to mention that rule to me.

Fargus... said...

Melissa, I agree completely.

I see girls out with guys who are far less attractive all the time (and think "Why not me?" but that's beside the point). There's nothing unbelievable about that. As has been pointed out all over the place, it seems, at least anecdotally, that women are wired to look more at the whole picture than men are. Looks, personality, sense of humor, etc.

The point that Melissa made that's also pertinent is this: Seth Rogen is not an unattractive guy. He's not George Clooney, but he's not Sloth from The Goonies, either.

As for the pregnancy situation, sure, we don't see Allison making her decision, but there's nothing unrealistic or irrational about it. Not every unplanned pregnancy ends in an abortion. I have no problem accepting that she wanted to keep the baby, and thought it would be valuable to have a stable relationship with the father in order to assist in raising the baby. As such, she was willing to give that relationship a lot more of a chance than she probably otherwise would have.

Regardless, though, she knew that despite all their differences, and the fact that they were virtually strangers, they did have that initial connection. I find it absurd for people to be saying that this situation bears no resemblance to any conceivable reality, especially when it seems evident from some of their comments that they haven't yet seen the film.

Bianca Reagan said...

fargus and melissa,

Welcome, and thanks for your comments! You raise some good points.

I do not plan to see this movie, because I don't like the premise. I don't like that Judd Apatow is suggesting that the main result of having unprotected sex with a relative stranger is then to enter into a relationship with them because you are having a child together. Among the other issues I have with the movie, I find that one the most irresponsible, regardless of the question of abortion. Having a baby and having a relationship are two separate issues. And goodness knows what STDs those two exchanged in the process.

I also didn't see Black Snake Moan because I think it is wrong to chain someone to a radiator. I didn't see Hustle and Flow because it's about a man who mentally and physically abused women for money. I didn't see Norbit because...really, do I need to explain that one?

Fargus... said...


You're just wrong. In your perception about the movie, since you haven't seen it, you're just plain wrong. The situation in Knocked Up is just that: the situation in Knocked Up. At no point does the movie indicate that this is the right thing to do, or that people would be rightly judged as bad people if they didn't do things as they're done in the movie.

Your analogy for why you didn't see the movie is incredibly misinformed, too. Or maybe too cute by half. Did you not see Schindler's List because you thought the Holocaust was wrong? Did you not see, say, Pearl Harbor because you disagree with kamikaze attacks (also, it sucked, but that's beside the point)? Just because something happens in a movie does not mean that the movie is endorsing it. It's pretty infuriating me to see an apparently intelligent person suggest otherwise.

Bianca Reagan said...

I'm "too cute" and "apparently intelligent." Yippee! I should put those out-of-context quotes in the front page header.

I didn't see Schindler's List because it looked depressing. I didn't see Pearl Harbor because it involved Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck playing soldiers. I don't think so. Furthermore, there should have been a corresponding film made and released at the same time called Hiroshima and Nagasaki that followed the storylines of civilian families destroyed by those subsequent, unprecedented attacks.

Also, I don't like war movies in general. That is a post unto itself. However, I did like The War. I bet y'all can figure out why.

Fargus... said...

See, you're making all kinds of different arguments here.

First, you say that you don't like the premise because it's not realistic. Then you say you don't like the premise because of its supposed advocacy of a position with which you don't agree. Then, when I point out with some other examples how intellectually bankrupt that idea is, that anything in a movie automatically counts as advocacy, you say you don't like those movies in general, as though the larger point is dismissed.

I'm sorry to have to dumb it down, but I guess I have to. Let's go with your favorite movies, as indicated by your blogger profile. I'll just go with the three that I've seen.

Never Been Kissed - In this film, the main character lies to everybody she encounters about being a high school student. I suppose you then endorse lying, or else by your logic you wouldn't have seen it.

10 Things I Hate About You - You apparently, from this choice, endorse drawing penises on people's faces, right?

Dazed and Confused - This is perhaps the most egregious one, confirming your endorsement of hazing and profligate drug use.


The arguments I made above are insane. They don't make any sense. And they're absolutely analogous to your arguments.

Fargus... said...

Just to clarify:

The arguments above are absolutely analogous to the implicit assertion that you make that since you didn't see those films because you don't endorse every last bit of their content, that everybody who does see those films must endorse their content.

Melissa said...

Bianca - just so you know, Hustle and Flow was not about a man who abused women in any way.

Terrance Howard's Djay was a pimp but he neither forced the three women who worked for him to prostitute themselves nor did he necessarily encourage it. The truth of the matter was that they were a family and they all did what they had to do to survive.

If you don't want to see a movie for whatever reason, that's no skin off my nose, but it seems you're making a lot of assumptions and sweeping generalizations about some of these movies - and, by extension, the people who do watch and enjoy them - based on incomplete information.

Bianca Reagan said...

melissa, now I will have to tape Hustle and Flow the next time it's on HBO so I can watch it. Although...I'm not exactly raking in the dough myself, but I would never suggest that anyone in my family prostitute themselves for any reason.

fargus, my arguments against most of those movies, though true, were my attempt to be humorous. Obviously you weren't amused. I'm not assuming anything about people who choose to watch this movie. Nor do I fault them for wanting to see it. If and when you do see Knocked Up, I would like to read your review of the film on your blog. That goes for stephanie and catherine, too :) I'm not going to change my mind or my feelings, but I do like reading other people's opinions on subjects.

Additionally, I'm still not going to watch the movie anytime soon. Because, in addition to the numerous reasons I have stated over the past two weeks, I don't have 9 dollars plus parking to spend on something I don't even want to see. That money could be spent on something else frivolous, like bread and milk.

Fargus... said...

Apologies. It's not that I wasn't amused. It's that I didn't take them as humor, in the context of the converation. My bad.

Shannon said...

I'm late to the conversation; I wanted to see the movie before commenting. I'm not going to argue whether Seth Rogen's character is "attractive enough," because it's an absurd argument. I will say, however, that (probably unlike most, or all, of you) I got pregnant on a one-night-stand in a similar fashion to the Allison character in this movie, the only difference being that I knew the guy ahead of time. And, believe me, when confronted with the scary reality of raising a child by myself, despite the assishness (new word!) of the guy I was with I fantasized about building a relationship with him, too. It's not anti-feminist, it's reality. And if he'd been a decent guy and had responded sweetly like the Ben character (Seth Rogen) I would have been more than happy to try a relationship with him, despite the fact that I had no interest in doing so before I found out I was pregnant. Anyway, not trying to argue what's feminist and what's not, necessarily, but I'm just trying to give a different perspective here.

Bianca Reagan said...


Thanks for sharing your story with us, and welcome! I appreciate your perspective.

I don't think it's anti-feminist for Alison to keep the baby, or for her to enter into any sort of relationship with Ben. I do understand the reality of being freaked out by a pregnancy and wanting help. However, I still find it implausible that Alison in particular--who has so much going for her, along with a built-in support system with her sister and brother-in-law and their kids--would be eager to raise a child with a man who doesn't share the stable, successful lifestyle that she had already created for herself before she found out she was having a baby, not after.

If you would like to share more about your baby, or about not having a baby, please feel free. I like babies! Especially happy ones.

Shannon said...

Bianca, I do see your point. Allison had a support network at home and a good job, so why would she choose to be with a slacker like Ben? But she wasn't all that stable, really. She lived in her sister and brother-in-law's house, and her job was new and might not last due to her pregnancy. So while outward appearances made it seem like she was stable, she really wasn't in a great place. Better than Ben, to be sure, but not fantastic. On top of that (at least from my experience) it's comforting to think about that one other person in the world who has a tie to your child, and to then hope for a relationship. In my case, he turned out to be an ass. In the case of Allison, he was just a child, but he pulled it together in the end. Not so implausible, really.

Now, as for my girl, I'm happy to share her! She's four now and is, well, just plain awesome. I think you can reach my blog from my sign in, but if not, here's the URL:

Bianca Reagan said...


I read your blog, and I made a post about it on my blog.

Someday I hope to have a daughter like yours whom I can have fun with and love so much.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I was trolling through the internet looking for reviews for a movie I am dying to see and I come across this one. The love of my life is a former feminist. I say former because she had the brains to realize that feminism is as stupid as chauvinism. She says a lot of her female friends were bashing this movie for the same reasons I see here. Hold a sec.....

Let me get this straight. You are mad because a woman you find attractive and successful gets loaded and has sex with a man you find unattractive and gets pregnant. She then decides to keep the child and attempt to be a caring parent and wants the father in the child's life and you find that wrong? What in the hell is wrong with you. First of all, it is a FICTIONAL MOVIE for the strict purposes of ENTERTAINMENT. Second......You sound less like a feminist and more like a spurned woman. Who cares if a beautiful woman digs a guy you find below average. ! mans trash is another mans treasure. My guess would be that your man found another woman and you turned out to feel like the trash and now resent the idea. You have issues. It is just a movie and looks funny as hell. have a good day. :)

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