I'm saying The Lion King is racist.

And sexist and homophobic as well.

But those are some catchy songs!

Also, Patton needs some black friends, if only to make his daughter less racist.


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Fast & Furious 6: My Review

Did I just watch four trailers for the same save-the-world movie?

Baby!

What happened to the other baby from the previous movie? They could be friends. Like Paul Walker and Tyrese! They're cute, but simple. Like babies.

Letty!

What?

The Rock is totally reading his lines off of cue cards.

I'd like a coupon for a casino buffet.

How dare they not include my favorite Puerto Rican goofballs in the latest heist?

Evil twins! That's exactly what I was thinking, Tyrese.

If you're a boxer tussling in a staircase with a mixed martial arts expert, I'm betting on the MMA fighter.

Thank for the BMW ad, Luda. Product placement is out of control, even for a Fast & Furious movie.

He's a racist! Rude. I'd take his boxers, too.

Baby is wearing a hat!

"That's the picture from my grave ... er, I mean ... I don't remember anything ... ?"

Why'd he go to that pawn shop? He didn't learn anything from that guy or his worthless goons.

Creepy creepster. Get up off of Letty, guy I've never seen in any movies before. (He's been in movies, I just haven't seen any of them.)

Why'd he go to that prison? He didn't learn anything from that guy or his worthless goons.

Don't make this all about you, Paul Walker.

Stasiak needs to make better decisions in his life.

Justin Lin has an obsession with objectifying tiny butts on tiny women. Could you at least give one of those dancers some lines?

"Samoan Thor", that's funny. :)

It's a tank. That's what I'm saying, Ludacris!

Mayhem and foolishness!

Do the laws of physics never apply to these people?

Oh, I saw that one coming.

What?!

I thought you were driving the other way!

That plane has been trying to take off down the same runway for 20 minutes...

Jump out of those cars, fools!

How does Luke Evans think he could fight Vin Diesel?

She could have survived... :( Brian and Mia just drove right past her!

Seriously, how has the plane not reached the end of the runway yet?

Fire. Fire. The plane's on fi--Is no one else seeing this?

It's their home! I hope they bought the building next door, too. House Hunters: Fast & Furious edition. Ding dong!

Even the baby is drinking a bottle of Corona.

The best family is the one you choose. Especially if they look like underwear models.

"Tokyo? Are you sure about that, man?"

"It's just something I have to do."

"Whatever you need, we got your back. Unless that from guy from The Transporter shows up retroactively in a scene from that movie from seven years ago."

I like that song. Nice choice.

Whew, what a ride. Now let's listen to the Fast Five episode of How Did This Get Made? for the fourth time, in anticipation for the Fast & Furious 6 episode dropping this Tuesday.

Update: It's up!


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I think most babies are cute.

People, check yourselves before you wreck yourselves. Don't be presumptuous and racist, all at the same time.

And, if you happen to be a "mixed race" baby and you are enjoying this post, thanks for reading! You're super cute. ;)


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So much happiness from Google Chrome

Why must you summon tears, Google?

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"I never sleep on planes."

"I don't want to get incepted."

For those of you who watched the entire episode, I too would like to have a baby in Canada with John Cho, the famous Québécois mobile meth dealer.

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Take a hint, Outsourced.

What's Outsourced, you ask? This is Outsourced:

Good job, NBC. :| It's no Studio 60, but really? Man-meat?


In better news: babies!

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"The hottest new show on Nick Jr."

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Born in the U.S.A.
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

"It's hard to be tough on babies, but--"

"Here's a sign you shouldn't finish a sentence. When it begins with, 'I know it's hard to be tough on babies, but--'"

No. Let's not be tough on babies. Ever.

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"Let's put the bait in Debate."

Here are my other favorite commercials of the day:

Those meddling kids. Though I do enjoy Cottonelle. So soft

~

I thought the best part was the ultrasound, until I saw the scene with the sign language. It makes the iPhone 4 seem touching, useful, and inclusive of the deaf community. And yet, I'm still not getting one.

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A baby paradox

Minority births on track to outnumber white births, by Hope Yen, AP via Yahoo! News.

Minorities make up nearly half the children born in the U.S., part of a historic trend in which minorities are expected to become the U.S. majority over the next 40 years.

In fact, demographers say this year could be the "tipping point" when the number of babies born to minorities outnumbers that of babies born to whites.

The numbers are growing because immigration to the U.S. has boosted the number of Hispanic women in their prime childbearing years. Minorities made up 48 percent of U.S. children born in 2008, the latest census estimates available, compared to 37 percent in 1990.

"Census projections suggest America may become a minority-majority country by the middle of the century. For America's children, the future is now," said Kenneth Johnson, a sociology professor at the University of New Hampshire who researched many of the racial trends in a paper being released Wednesday.

Johnson explained there are now more Hispanic women of prime childbearing age who tend to have more children than women of other races. More white women are waiting until they are older to have children, but it is not yet known whether that will have a noticeable effect on the current trend of increasing minority newborns.

[ . . . ]

Whites currently make up two-thirds of the total U.S. population, and recent census estimates suggest the number of minorities may not overtake the number of whites until 2050.

First of all, if there are going to be more nonwhite people in a country than white people, it is becoming increasingly illogical to call nonwhite people "minorities." I have never liked calling people minorities, because most "minority" people aren't a minority in the world. There are 1 and 1/2 continents full of Latino people, 1 continent full of black people, and a ginormous continent full of Asian people. Yet they are "minorities". Hmm.

Second, this phenomenon of minorities overtaking white people (?) is primarily attributed to "immigration" boosting "the number of Hispanic women in their prime childbearing years" "who tend to have more children than women of other races." Oh my.

a) Not all Hispanic people immigrated here. Some Hispanic people were actually born here. So were their ancestors.

b) Some Hispanic people are white. Who knew? I think these people knew. These people, too!

Third, another assumption in the article is that white women give birth to white babies, Hispanic women give birth to Hispanic babies, Asian women give birth to Asian babies and so on. But what about Native American and Middle Eastern babies in the US? What about Kendra's baby? What about Nicole Richie and her unfortunately named babies?

Fourth, I'm of childbearing age, yet where are the 2.13 children that I am supposedly having? How can I contribute to the upheaval of American society?

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The best part of The L Word

Love love love. Someday, I will be able to afford my own kid.

The worst part of The L Word? Shenny. That couple is made of Fail. I don't even have Showtime anymore, but the thought of Jenny and Shane getting together still makes me cringe.

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Babies look like fun!

Found on Cute Things Falling Asleep:



But babies are so expensive! Maybe I could get one on layaway.

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I liked these two posts:

Pink or blue? by Dr. Confused on Feministe.

I’ve been known to hang out on certain bulletin boards where people use abbreviations like “DH” (dear husband) and slightly-nauseating terms like “baby dust” (a magical substance that can get you pregnant, but which is presumably less damp than semen.) In the first trimester, there was a thread on the topic of whether or not to find out the sex of the fetus during pregnancy. (Actually, most posters write "gender of the baby," but let’s go with the correct "sex of the fetus.") Some excerpts of the thread:

"The minute I can. I hate calling the baby “it”, and I don’t like green/white/yellow clothes… I want to know! :D

One point as to why we want to wait… when pregnant with DS we had friends that were also PG. They had 2 u/s and both times were told they were having a girl. So they bought a wardrobe, designed the nursery, etc… all in pink and purple. And they had a boy. Talk about being shocked! DH and I also have a plan to avoid the neutral stuff for a long time. First, we will buy one girl outfit and one boy outfit for hopital pictures and taking the baby home. Grandma will go crazy once she knows the gender and the baby will have several outfits… probably in a matter of a couple hours! Shortly after DS was born, they went to dinner and came back with 3 or 4 boy outfits! Of course we will have some neutral gender stuff, but I am a shopper and it won’t be long before baby has a full gender specific wardrobe!

I have to know. I like to be prepared. I’ve only had boys so far and everything I have is for boys. I don’t have any unisex stuff, even the newborn onesies are blue with trains, planes and cars."

That last one is interesting to me. I design airplanes for a living, and I have a vagina. Nevertheless, if I were to put any daughter I should have into a onesie with an airplane on it, some of these writers would consider it borderline child abuse. But how will people know she’s a girl?

8th Century Scholars by Jill on Feministe.

This professor is fantastic. He was fired from his job for telling students that the story of Adam and Eve should not be taken literally — students apparently felt the professor was "denigrating their religion." But his responses to the situation are hilarious and spot-on:

"I’m just a little bit shocked myself that a college in good standing would back up students who insist that people who have been through college and have a master’s degree, a couple actually, have to teach that there were such things as talking snakes or lose their job," Bitterman said.

Well, if the Bible says to teach it…

"I just thought there was such a thing as academic freedom here,” he said. “From my point of view, what they’re doing is essentially teaching their students very well to function in the eighth century."

Regarding the latter post about religion, i.e. Christianity, I like this clip of The West Wing better than the one featured on Feministe:

Why I don't have kids yet

(Yes, Bratz - Babyz: The Movie is enough to make anyone sterile. But the video above was merely an afterthought.)

Women delay having kids because of care costs, by Jessica on Feministing.

A new poll says that one in five women are deciding against having children--or delaying having one--because of the high cost of child care and preschool. The poll, which was commissioned by an anti-crime organization, recommends increased funding and support for quality child care and preschool programs like Head Start...

Or maybe this is why: Black Love is Dead, from The Message on YouTube, via Racialicious.




Nope, it's mostly the first reason. I would have a kid now--meaning after I finished business school--if I had the money to raise it properly. I barely make enough now to house myself. :(

Where does the rest of the cuteness come from?

Found on YouTube by my friend Stephanie: baby laughing.



Wait a minute. I'm a "minority" in my own country. Shouldn't I have a YouTube video made about me? When will I get my "minority rights"?

I wonder how "unchecked immigration" affected the futures of the native peoples of North America, South America, Australia, India, and South Africa. Who cares? Save the white babies from the horror of pressing "1" for English!

Ignore the fact that babies can't actually speak English or any other language for at least a year. And that even after year one, not all white babies speak English, exclusively or otherwise. And that mute babies, regardless of color, don't speak at all.

My Kid Will Have My Hair.

At least, my biological kid will. And if she's a girl, how I look forward to the years of painful coiffure ahead of me and her.

My hair was and is the thickest conglomeration of kinky strands I have ever encountered. I bet my present and former hairstylists would say the same thing. The kicker is, I have an extremely sensitive scalp. Combing my hair in its natural state is a horror. And making it easier to comb by chemically straightening it burns my scalp, even if my parts are greased and the relaxer is mild. That's why since my junior year of college, I've kept my hair in braided extensions. I still get it straightened every so often to make it easier when I take the old braids out and get the new ones put it. Now that is a harsh trial. :(

Whenever I think of doing my future kid's hair, I get all worried. Then I think about something else, like teddy bears or ice cream. How am I supposed to do my kid's hair when I can't do my own hair? Then I came across this New York Times article via Racialicious: "I Have Taken On My Daughter's Hair And Won," by Randal C. Archibold. Mr. Archibold writes:

I’ve been doing Lyla’s hair since she has had enough hair to do, receiving my first lessons from my wife and subjecting Lyla to my continued training by my sister, mother-in-law and other female relatives. Combing and brushing and, most important, braiding her hair seemed another way to help out and participate in the joys of having a daughter.

I had never even thought about having my partner do my kid's hair. One, because when I imagine my kids, I've always thought that their hair would just be magically done all the time, without anyone doing it, like on TV. Two, since I haven't married the soon-to-be-lanced Elijah Wood yet, I'm not really confident that I'll be having these kids with a partner.

But after reading this article, now I'm having all these visions of my partner doing my kids' hair. Just like he'll be staying home with said children for their first year, until they go to daycare and preschool, etc. And he'll be happy to do it. I'm aiming high, because why shouldn't my partner take care of our kids? Hello, they're his, too. I'm not going to be the Primary Parent (scroll down for reference) just because I have the vagina. Our kids will know that both of their parents are equally responsible for them and equally capable of raising them.

My favorite part is where Mr. Archibold talks about his inspirations: his cousin's husband Kirk, and Brad Pitt, whose daughter Zahara has helped him empathize with "white people who might be having a little trouble with black-person hair." Mr. Pitt apparently endorsed Carol’s Daughter hair products in last October's issue of Esquire, which got him quoted in the Say What? column of Essence.

On the other side of dealing with a black daughter's hair, I also discovered this article via Racialicious: Black Baby is Born to White Pair.

A Park Avenue fertility clinic's blunder has left a family devastated - after a black baby was born to a Hispanic woman and her white husband, the couple charges in a lawsuit...

...Despite the alleged baby bungle, little Jessica was born healthy.

The Andrews, however, fear that because of the circumstances of her birth "she may be subjected to physical and emotional illness as a result of not being the same race as her parents and siblings," according to their suit.

According to the couple's attorney, Howard Stern (insert joke here), the baby doesn't look like them. Really? Because when I look at that photo and hear, "One of these things is not like the other," the voices in my head are talking about that confused looking white guy on the left.

Furthermore, his wife? Is not white. I don't know what the New York Post is talking about. Then again, do I ever? The woman is clearly a dark shade of Dominican. Even if the baby had been conceived with that man's sperm and that woman's egg, considering the mestizo history of the Dominican Republic, there is a good chance the baby would have come out brown anyway.

If this couple wanted a pure white baby, they should adopt one, or find an acceptable Aryan egg donor. And if after three years, these people still can't get over the fact that their daughter--this woman's biological child--will not "get lighter over time," then those people should give this child to a family who will love and appreciate her, regardless of the "abnormality" that is her dark skin. Angelina is always looking.