Someday I'll testify before Congress in character

Maybe we could offer more visas to the immigrants who, let's face it, will probably be doing these jobs anyway. And this improved legal status might allow immigrants recourse if they're abused. And it just stands to reason to me that if your co-worker can't be exploited, then you're less likely to be exploited yourself.

And that itself might improve pay and working conditions on these farms. And eventually Americans may consider taking these jobs again.

Or maybe that's crazy. Maybe the easier answer is just to have scientists develop vegetables that pick themselves. The genetic engineers at Fruit of the Loom have made great strides in human-fruit hybrids.

The point is, we have to do something because I am not going back out there. At this point I break into a cold sweat at the sight of a salad bar.

Stephen Colbert Hearing (VIDEO): Updates From Colbert's Visit To Congress, Jason Linkins, The Huffington Post.

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"You should change your name from C-SPAN to Black-SPAN."

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Where else is that caller going to go for the kind of coverage C-SPAN provides? The security camera room at the Men's Wearhouse?

I should start calling in to C-SPAN. I'll try to keep up that 80 percent.

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This is my candidate!

And this why he remains my candidate, even though he ended his 2008 Presidential campaign in January:

Rep. Kucinich calls for Bush impeachment, by JoAnne Allen, Reuters.

Democratic Rep. Dennis Kucinich defied his party leadership on Monday by calling for the impeachment of U.S. President George W. Bush for launching the Iraq war -- but his move was not expected to go anywhere. [Because none of his colleagues--the 434 other members of Congress elected by the American people--will support him.]

The Ohio representative outlined his intention to propose more than two dozen charges against Bush on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Kucinich, a former presidential candidate, accused Bush executing a "calculated and wide-ranging strategy" to deceive citizens and Congress into believing that Iraq posed an imminent threat to the United States.

He outlined 35 articles of impeachment, including the current administration's actions regarding Medicare, the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina and September 11, 2001. He stood up for over three hours tonight, addressing five people in an otherwise empty House. The entire speech was covered on CSPAN.

Over on CNN, Anderson Cooper had a discussion with two black men and one white man about whether Barack Obama should point out that in addition to possibly being the first black President of the United States, he would also be the 14th Scottish-Irish President. Tomorrow Anderson will hear opinions from Colin Farrell and a box of Lucky Charms.

I'll look for a transcript of the Articles so you can read for yourself why the Bush administration should be prosecuted. Also from the Reuters article,

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has repeatedly said she opposes trying to remove the Republican president who leaves office next January because such an attempt would be divisive and most likely unsuccessful.

So we should simply let documented criminals run free because it would be "divisive" and "unsuccessful" to prosecute them? I know that's not an exact quote from Speaker Pelosi, but that it the sentiment she has repeatedly expressed. Here's an exact quote:

"I have said it before and I will say it again: Impeachment is off the table," Pelosi, D-Calif., said during a news conference.

I wish Speaker Pelosi would visit some veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan; the soldiers and Marines going through post-traumatic stress disorder; the 4,000+ dead Americans, the hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis, and the millions of displaced people who can never go home to their country again; the families affected by the loss of a mother or father or brother or sister or daughter or son due to war; the 9/11 rescue workers plagued with chronic respiratory failure; the women serving in the U.S. military who are "more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire in Iraq"; and the residents of New Orleans who 1) still can't go back home and 2) are being poisoned by formaldehyde-soaked trailers.

I wish she would tell them to their faces that we can't impeach the people squatting in the White House because it's too tough. Like math. Or starting an illegal war. Oops, that one's easy.

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Musings from an Adorable American: "It's Valentine's Day?" Edition

Things of various importance that have been on my mind this week:

• The State of the Black Union 2007
  

On Saturday morning, I stumbled upon this day long event on C-SPAN, while I was wading through the jungle that is the new TimeWarner Cable program guide. Ugh. This whole channel grouping thing is not helpful to me at all. I'm just confused and frustrated, and my networks aren't where they are supposed to be!

Back to the black people. I watched this program before and after the Barack Obama Presidential Campaign announcement--which C-SPAN cut to, then came back--and before and after I went to Step class at my gym.

Lots of pertinent issues were discussed by the usual suspects, like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, as well as other distinguished panelists. Even though Sharpton and Jackson are both ministers, I still can't tell you what their actual jobs are. They just seem to be on call whenever people like Michael Richards or Joe Biden need to apologize to the black community.

The most striking part of the State of the Black Union was not the gospel dance party afterwards that moderator Tavis Smiley didn't expect C-SPAN to stick around for. (What were they going to cut to, an empty Senate chamber? It was Saturday. That follow-up musical performance was the most exciting spectacle C-SPAN has covered in a long time.) The most striking part was that the majority of issues discussed were important to every American: health care, the growing prison population, education, employment, financial matters, the illegal occupation of Iraq. The event could have been called, "The State of the Union, and we just happen to be Black." This conversation was way more informative and engaging than either George W. Bush's State of the Union address this year, or the Democratic Party's response delivered by Senator Jim Webb. Just like Nickelodeon and Linda Ellerbee used to say when I was growing up, Black History is Everyone's History. And possibly more now than ever, when bankruptcies abound, home mortgage foreclosures are increasing, the gap between the very rich and the very poor is widening exponentially, and No Child Left Behind is leaving behind most of its school districts, the State of the Black Union is the State of Everyone's Union.

• Tina Fey's spot-on assesment of Aaron Sorkin

"...Sunday night at the Writers Guild Awards...Fey told the crowd, 'I hear Aaron Sorkin is in Los Angeles wearing the same dress - but longer, and not funny.' "

Hee!

• The State of the Black Union 2006

I watched the beginning of it this morning on TV One. Compared to the day-long coverage on the 2007 version on C-SPAN, I didn't like the commercials TV One has to show for revenue, but I did appreciate the editing. Listing the name and accomplishments under each speakers face is much more effective and time-efficient than Tavis Smiley taking two minutes to vocalize the same thing. I know Mr. Smiley is being reverrent and polite to these great American leaders, but I've got things to do. Let's keep it moving. You know these people can be longwinded. And when I say, "these people," I mean the mature members of our American community who love a captive audience and a TV camera pointed at their face.

• Gilmore Girls

This show has gone down the pooper. I was so bored during last night's episode, "Farewell, My Pet." The only saving graces were Michel and Paris, both of whom I have always loved.

• Debra Dickerson on The Colbert Report

I cannot believe this fool. Watch the clip that had me yelling at my TV screen. Like that's an unusual occurence for me. It's at the bottom of the Comedy Central page, so hurry before it's gone.

To summarize for the time- and/or technologically-impaired, Ms. Dickerson informs Mr. Colbert that Barack Obama is not really black, since, according to her, "'Black,' in our political and social reality, means those descended from West African slaves." Calling him black would supposedly disrespect his father's Kenyan heritage. Despite the fact that Senator Obama was born in Hawaii, and his mother, white though she may be, was born in Kansas. Mr. Colbert suggested calling Senator Obama, "nouveau black," to which Ms. Dickerson replied that they could call him "African African-American." Mr. Colbert also had a solution to Senator Obama's non-owned heritage: he could be someone's slave for a short while for the black experience and to gain some street cred; to avoid the racist overtones, he could be Jesse Jackson's slave. Ms. Dickerson had no response for that.

I'd love for Ms. Dickerson to come up to my face and tell me I'm not black because I can't trace my ancestry to a particular West African slave in my family tree. What an idiot. I am so not buying her book.

I'm sure I'll have more stuff to think about later this week.