"Making pizzas and smoking meat."

There are jokes I could tell, but I will restrain myself.

But Jimmy and Elijah are testing me with this clip:




Two guys reaching under their legs and pounding hard wood? Seriously? The rumors start themselves.


.

He will be on the telly!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Elijah Wood
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

FX Orders Elijah Wood Comedy Wilfred, by Natalie Abrams, TV Guide via Yahoo! TV.

FX has ordered Wilfred, a new comedy series starring Elijah Wood as an introvert trying to find happiness, the network announced Monday.

Adapted from the Australian series of the same name, the show revolves around Ryan (Wood) and his alter ego/imaginary friend Wilfred. Wilfred appears as a dog to the outside world, and as a walking, talking man in a dog costume to Ryan. Jason Gann, who co-created and starred in the original series, will play Wilfred.

Wilfred is "part Labrador retriever and part Russell Crowe on a bender," executive producer David Zuckerman says.

Excitement! Also, I'd like to see that tattoo.


.

By now I was supposed to be married to Elijah Wood,

and we were supposed to be having our first child. Clearly that did not happen, for many humorous reasons, like the fact that we've never met.

I was reminded of this plan that I had created for myself in middle school when I saw Up in the Air this week. In the movie, George Clooney's new young colleague Natalie explains that at 23, she expected to be driving a SUV with a baby, and married to her boyfriend, whom she doesn't really like, but who fits her expectations because he has a one-syllable name. That made me laugh. Marrying someone because his name is Matt or Dave.

Anyhoodle, I really liked Up in the Air. I know, it's crazy! It is the one movie I have seen in a theater this year that I liked. And it only took till December.

* Spoiler alert for those of you who want to be surprised. *

I liked that there were strong, honest roles for women. Of course, all of those roles went to white women who were fairly thin. There was one black woman with a speaking role in the movie, but by the end of the story, she was no longer with us. Also, I did not need the naked bum-bum or side boob in the first hotel room scene, unless that bum-bum happened to be George Clooney's. Alas, it was not. So yet again, as throughout most of film history, the woman with the biggest role in the movie had to be naked in it. And she is 12 years younger than her male counterpart. Well done, sister suffragette. Votes for women, step in time.

In addition to having realistic female characters who were not berated for their life decisions, I also liked that there were not happy endings for most of the characters. This was the kind of movie I had hoped for when I saw (500) Days of Summer, but my hopes were not met.

My favorite part of the whole movie was George Clooney's sister, Kara. She was played by Amy Morton, whom I almost immediately recognized as Thomas Ian Nicholas's mother in Rookie of the Year. I know! The best part was that she has not pulled up her face past her eyebrows like many other actors in Hollywood. She looks like a normal woman living in Northern Wisconsin.

.

I would go to a movie with both of them.

Best YouTube comment, by star0shadows:

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you are officially invited to the party in my pants.

~ ~ ~

Meaning, I would watch a movie in a theater with each of them sitting next to me. However, I think that Mr. Wood would be more interested in Mr. G-L than he would be in me. (Yes, I did watch the Season 3 premiere of Mad Men last night. Did you?) Or maybe not. I am adorable and charming, as you readers know. :)

.

The Girls of Rock and Roll

I spent some of my weekend watching Girls Rock!, which was great. It only took me a year to finally watch it. Readers, you should watch Girls Rock!, too. It is available for rental and for purchase. So get on that.

One of the funniest parts of the movie is during the closing credits. Laura, one of the main girls featured, is talking about her experience. She was adopted from Korea by white parents in Oklahoma, which I've heard is the San Francisco of the Midwest. Oh, it's not. Oh. I thought it was bad enough growing up in St. Thomas trying to explain to other people my concerted fixation on Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood. I think it would be much harder to be the only Asian girl in your town who is into death metal.

Anyhoodle, here is what happened while Laura was talking to the camera:

Laura: If I'm ever, like, in a position where I can help other Asian women especially feel comfortable about themselves. We're different, but it doesn't mean it's bad.

Guy behind the camera: What if we told you that the more you were in this movie, the more it might help Asian girls to feel better about themselves?

Laura: What if I told you that we should, like, have a dramatic reenactment?

Guy: But then a dramatic reenactment would be against the whole point, 'cause isn't the whole point to show Asian girls, "You should be comfortable with yourself"? So why should we have somebody else play you? [He laughs.] Isn't that kinda against the whole reasoning that you're saying?

Laura: Here comes the white man holding me down again.

Guy: [laughs some more]

Laura: Since I was shipped to America to build a railroad, I've been experiencing this, and I don't have to take it.

Hee! That would so be me on camera, worrying that I wouldn't fly in Peoria.

.

Where has Elijah gone?

And how did the photographer make him look tall?

Anyhoodle, the following article immediately made me think of Stephanie:
Shia LaBeouf Models the Latest in Cow Couture, on Towelroad via Defamer.

btw, Holes is on The Disney Channel right now. I know!

Last week on Yo Gabba Gabba:

I love that tiny dancing child. I want one of my own. I wonder if they are available in the Nickelodeon store . . .

And last month on Yo Gabba Gabba:



Oh, Elijah. How the mighty have fallen. And please shave. You'd be better off with an Oreo Pizza Moustache.