"If you stay flat...what will happen?"

"It's okay, beloved."

 Hee!


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Apparently, it's always a good night for me.

"I wanna remember my night, and sometimes I just don't. And it sucks. So you're like, 'What did I do? Why did I end up in a garbage can?'"

End up in a garbage can? Are you sure that's not where your night began, Snook?


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"Please welcome Liz Lem-ooon!"

I learn so much from 30 Rock. Apparently it's illegal to be black in Arizona. Good to know.

I could totally be a 12-year old Oprah, bringing black men and white women together. Wait a minute . . .

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On Valentine's Day Eve

This morning I was feeling bummed because I am alone, as I have been for the past 26 years. And like Josh's mom, someone had the nerve to ask me what I had planned for tomorrow. As if I were going out on the town with the same imaginary person who had impregnated me with the food baby that my mother thought I was carrying at Christmas.

(I should really have a blog post to link to there. To make a long story short, last Christmas Eve my mother finally noticed my poochy tummy that I had been complaining to her about for a month. Then she said to me with a straight face, "Your belly is protruding. It looks like you're pregnant. Are you?")

Later I felt better when one of my friends emailed me today with positive, supportive thoughts. Also, other people in my were nice to me, and they made my day happy. :)

~

In unrelated news, I found this on Defamer: The Cosby Kids Reunite On Oprah, on Jezebel.

Quoi?! No one told me about this development. This was a total Black History Moment, and none of the advertising bothered to target me. Hello!

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"There's No Money To Be Made On The Internet"

Michael Eisner and Jeff Zucker should talk to Oprah:

Oprah Meets YouTube. Who's Bigger?, by James Poniewozik at Tuned In.

Someone evidently informed Oprah Winfrey that there was a medium that she did not yet own a major piece of. And you know what happens when someone tells Oprah that. And so it came to pass that Oprah set up her own YouTube channel.

You'll have to click on the link, because on the Oprah channel, "Embedding [is] disabled by request." Which defeats half the purpose of posting videos on YouTube.
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Let's Blame Oprah

Gosh, I’m sorry you don’t feel special anymore, by zuzu at Feministe.

From the “Everything can be blamed on a woman” files: Oprah Winfrey is single-handedly responsible for ruining the marathon.

The piece is an extended, and dishonest, whine about how they let just anybody run marathons nowadays, instead of special, dedicated men who did it for the thrill of competition and the frisson of self-denial — oh, and Americans aren’t winning marathons like they used to, which is Oprah’s fault.

After Oprah won her beef trial, I thought we were done blaming her for the ills of America and the world . And by "we", I do not mean people like me.

My Wednesday via Feministing

This puts my troubles into perspective: Sexual violence against women in the Congo, by Samhita at Feministing.

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This story makes me sad for Oprah: My isn't that a MANLY sweater you have on there! by Samhita at Feministing.

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This gives me hope for the Hillary Clinton campaign: Hillary and cleavage and hair, oh my! by Jessica at Feministing.

I also like the take that Ann from Feministing has on the apparel issue: Hill's hills: The stuff that got edited out, an update on Ann on Hill's hills and pervy 13 year-olds.

Don't be lazy. Click the links!

That's My Funday

Stories I liked today:

w00t Team Brown! We're not fugly!, from Sepia Mutiny, which is a commentary on Obama Shocker:Long-Haired Barry Is American Idol, from Wonkette:

There’s growing evidence that American Idol sensation Sanjaya Malakar and Decision 2008 sensation Barry Hussein Obama are the same person.

I wonder what Mr. Macaca Goldstein, who thankfully lost his his Senate seat in Virginia last year, would have to say about that.

The story that's still going strong: Imus called women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos", from Media Matters, which has quite a collection of articles on Don Imus. And the latest from Yahoo! News, CBS radio, MSNBC to suspend Imus 2 weeks.

How The Gawker Stalker Map Works: A Guide for Dummies, Outraged Famous People And Old Folk, from Gawker. It's a response to last Friday's Larry King Live, where the host of The Man Show (Jimmy Kimmel), Michael Jackson's attorney (Mark Geragos) and Isaiah Washington's publicist (Howard Bragman) ganged up on Gawker editor Emily Gould to lecture her about the evils of gossiping about celebrities, i.e. the same people they interview and represent for a living, respectively. You can watch the video here, courtesy of Jossip.

For some reason, I thought I would revisit Penelope Trunk's blog since I hadn't read it in a few months. Yes, that Penelope Trunk. I scrolled down and found a post called This is a replacement for the post that used to be here. I read the comments that followed, but I couldn't figure out what had happened exactly to warrant such a retraction. So I did a Google search and found these articles: Tories sack woman for having breast cancer, from the f-word (scroll down for relevant topic); When Career Expert Rivalries Turn Ugly, from mediabistro.com; and Jennifer Weiner's latest post on her blog, SnarkSpot. I then came to the conclusion that in her orginal post, Ms. Trunk had called Leslie Bennetts, author of The Feminine Mistake, "SO INCREDIBLY FAT!!!", capital letters and exclamation points by Ms. Trunk. She also linked to a picture of Ms. Bennetts to emphasize her assertion. Ms. Trunk then dismissed the thrust of Ms. Bennetts' novel--that mothers and other women should have careers and take care of themselves, instead of depending on a man for financial security--based on the assumption that Ms. Bennetts is not following her own advice and taking care of herself...because she is "fat."

Hmm.

After reading that, you know I had to find that original post. I'm no expert on the interwebs. (Obviously. I still can't figure out how to change my blog's color from pink to purple.) But I knew that if Pajiba could rebuild its entire website from cached searches after the Department of Homeland Security snatched their server, I could find one embarrassing blog post. And I did.

Wow. I'm not posting it or linking to it here, but I'm sure you clever readers can Google cache the horror for yourselves.

Look out, Don Imus. If only there were an Al Sharpton of fat people that Penelope could apologize to.

Speaking of which, who elected Mr. Sharpton as the spokesperson for the "nappy-headed hos," "hardcore hos," "rough girls," Rutgers basketball players, or for the black population in general? I don't listen to Al's radio show. I don't know any black people who do. And even if I did, who said that Al Sharpton represents all of us? I know Al does not speak for me as a black person, nor as a woman who grows nappy hair.

Don needs to get himself over to Oprah. Two birds, one stone. Maybe have Sheryl Swoopes on the show at the same time to cover the basketball angle.