"I guess that's because of Africa?"

No. To all of that.

Nooo.


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How many can you name?

Even though some unfortunate people would make the mistake of calling me "African American" (I prefer "colored" (No, I don't. That was a joke, people. Shh.)) I have never been to Africa. I have tried to travel there on multiple occasions, but the trips have been cancelled due to reasons.

However, unlike many people, I do know that Africa is not one big country called "Africa" where the elephants roam and the lions call home. It's the birthplace of civilization, made up of various peoples and places and things. When I was in fourth grade, one of my classmates could name all of the capitals of the African continent. I could name all of the capitals of the Australian continent, so bully for me.

Today, I asked myself if I could name ten African countries. Then I asked if I could name ten more. I pushed myself to 21, and then I started writing this blog post.

How many can you name without assistance? Extra points for capital cities, half points for accidentally naming obscure countries on other continents, like Uzbekistan or Burma.

Here are the answers: Territories and regions of Africa.

Here is my list:

1. South Africa
2. Egypt
3. Lesotho
4. Kenya
5. Ivory Coast
6. Namibia
7. Madagascar (movie!)
8. Malawi
9. Mozambique
10. Niger
11. Nigeria (two different countries!)
12. Ghana
13. Sudan
14. South Sudan (newest country in the world!)
15. Tanzania
16. Tunisia
17. Morocco
18. Swaziland
19. Chad (neither Lowe nor Allen nor Michael Murray)
20. Libya
21. Liberia

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It gets more colorful at 3:54.

First heard by me today on The Week According to Frangela on KTLK AM 1150, during Frangela's beloved segment, "Professional Idiot of the Week":

"Slavery was evil, there's no question about that. But you know what? If it hadn't happened, where would you be right now? If your ancestors hadn't come over here for whatever reason, where would you be right now? You'd be floating down a river in Rwanda in pieces. Or maybe you'd be chased down by machete-wielding Janjaweed militia in the Sudan. Or starving under Robert Mugabe.

"Hey, ingrates. Get on your knees. Kiss the American dirt beneath you. And, please, shut up."


- Jim Quinn, from the June 24 edition of Clear Channel's The War Room with Quinn and Rose

There is so much nonsense to unpack in Jim Quinn's statement, including 1) most slaves in the Americas came from Western Africa, which does not include Rwanda, the Sudan, or Robert Mugabe's Zimbabwe; and 2) most black people born in the United States have non-African ancestry as well, often due to the owners raping their ancestors. So, despite Jim Quinn's penchant for the one-drop rule, in a parallel universe without centuries of slavery throughout the Western hemisphere, we ungrateful black people could have been living in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the South Pacific, pretty much anywhere. Correspondingly, many allegedly white people in that same parallel universe could find themselves living in Senegal, Ghana, Nigeria or picking diamonds in Sierra Leone, all homes of their hidden ancestors.

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What the who what now?

Advertisements for Themselves, by Erica Orden, New York Magazine via The Black Snob.

Madison Avenue is scrambling to adjust to a new era, when the most admired people in America are a black family. To reflect this reality, talent scouts are on the hunt for models who look like the Obama children, Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10.

"People are looking for girls who resemble them," says Charlie Winfield, the head booker at FunnyFace Today.

Tali Lev, an agent with the Gilla Roos agency, keeps links to her "Sasha" and "Malia" model lists on her desktop for easy access. "Photographers even want them for their portfolios."

Marlene Wallach, president of Wilhelmina Kids & Teens, says the First Daughters are tough subjects to match. "It’s a very specific age and a very specific ethnicity, so there aren’t that many girls that would necessarily fit the bill."

A very specific ethnicity? These girls are not Jessica Alba or Rosario Dawson or Dwayne Johnson or Vin Diesel. They are 3/4 black, like most black people in the United States are, if you look far back enough and count up all the pieces.

How hard is it to find tiny black children in New York City? Maybe Ms. Wallach could import them direct from the manufacturer.

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