...Big Boy in the Morning. Because I do. That's how I know Defamer should check its facts before re-reporting stories:
K-Fed Learns From Britney Mistakes, Targets Baby Momma With Active Income And Radio Connections.
Kevin Federline, proud possessor of some of the most potent baby-batter in all of pimpdom, has pulled no punches in trying to negotiate custody of his children away from their increasingly unhinged mother, who will now only communicate through angry couplets scribbled into a spiral notebook and cryptic messages on her website. The National Enquirer, meanwhile, reports the "PopoZão" singer may have already found his next baby momma:
[Jeannette Walls of MSNBC reports] "The aspiring rocker has been dating Los Angeles hip-hop radio personality Liz Hernandez, according to the National Enquirer."
However, the main topic in Big Boy's Neighborhood this morning was how Liz clearly is
not dating Kevin Federline. The Liz and K-Fed story is being reported all over the world, but according to Liz, it's false. Supposedly Liz recently started dating some non-famous guy whom Big and the Neighborhood refer to as "Sebastian LaFontaine" on the air, so as not to reveal his true identity. Liz and Big and Jeff and Tattoo were feeling all guilty, because they knew they have regularly reported celebrity rumors as facts before, just like the rest of the media is now doing with Liz.
In Defamer's defense, the story was originally reported by the news organization who has employed Joe Scarborough, Tucker Carlson, and Don Imus:
MSNBC. And MSNBC's main source was The National Enquirer. Hmm.
This turn of events has inspired me to create my own unsubstantiated celebrity rumor. Which
sketchy, recently separated "artist" with multiple baby mommas should I attach myself to?
Also, because these amused me:
Separated By The L Word and
Separated By Gay Hair, from Perez Hilton.
Hey! There's someone I could attach myself to,
Kathy Griffin-style. Zac, not Perez, ew. And don't call the cops on me, people: Zac is 19.
I can see the headlines now:
BAD NEWS FOR VANESSA: Z-EF HAS A NEW LOVE.
According to STEVE THE PENGUIN--the premium source for self-righteous snark on pop culture and politics--the star of High School Musical and Hairspray has ended his relationship with fellow teen sensation Vanessa Hudgens, and has been spotted around town with low-profile Hollywood assistant Bianca Erin-Dempsey.
"Zac is definitely thrilled with Bianca," says a source. "He talks about her all the time — how smart she is, how she's marketed herself so well, and how beautiful she is. He's serious about her."
"Bianca is trying to keep [the romance] quiet because she doesn’t want it to get around work, but Zac can’t help but brag about his new worldly girlfriend to his friends and family," the source told STEVE THE PENGUIN. "He has watched every one of Bianca's derivative student films in his home. She likes to watch him cook, and Zac loves that because he could never express his culinary side with Vanessa" says the source, who adds that Erin-Dempsey thinks Efron's contractual obligation to The Disney Channel is "adorable."
