White Hot

After reading Stephanie's ravings about Chuck, I decided to watch the show's pilot episode tonight. I initially didn't want to watch it because of the picture the commercials painted: dorky guy, hot girl, guns and car chases. Not my bag, man. So I chose to watch it so I could share an informed opinion.

I'm really annoyed.

I like the concept of the show: an employee at Best Buy, er, "Buy More," becomes a human computer, and both the NSA and the CIA are after him. What I don't like is the basis for the casting choices, especially in the women's roles. It's great that Sarah, the secret agent, has agility, intelligence, and a challenging career. So why does she have to walk around in her underwear for two scenes? And it's great that she can dance. But why does her moves at the concert serve mainly to overstimulate Chuck? It wasn't necessary for her to gyrate like a stripper to toss knives at her assassins. Although Chuck creator Josh Schwartz wanted you to believe it was necessary. Was it also necessary for her to be white, blond, stunning, and borderline emaciated? I swear I saw her ribs while she was parading around her hotel room in her bra and panties.

I understand that white, blond, pretty, thin women actually exist in America. I have friends who fit this description. The problem is, they aren't the only women who exist in America. I think Josh Schwartz would prefer if they were the only women on the planet . . . but anyhoodle. Yes, Sarah Lancaster and Julia Ling were also on the show, and they both have dark hair. And Ms. Ling isn't white, as far as I know. However, both of them are really good-looking, and Julia's character had maybe two lines. Sarah Lancaster's character was somewhat more substantial, although I don't think she had any funny lines or any motivation other than helping her brother Chuck find a girlfriend.

Some people may say that I am overanalyzing a harmless, humorous show. Some people may point out that if I don't like Chuck, I can watch something else; there are other TV shows out there that speak to me as a clever, average-looking, nonwhite woman. Oh really? Which shows, besides Ugly Betty (who in real life is super cute), are those? I'd settle for one that addresses just one of those adjectives. Conversely, how many shows on television right now are made for, by and about dorky white guys who enjoy white supermodel-esque girls that exist mainly for their pleasure?

One of the reasons I'm perturbed is that I spent my Thursday night at a forum for women interested in getting an MBA. All of the women I encountered there were smart, driven, friendly people. They also all looked different, but they looked wonderful. They were different ages, shapes, colors and sizes. These were real women with a purpose, and none of them were being accurately represented in or acknowledged by our mainstream media. It makes me sick that all of the women in that room, and outside of that room as well, have so much to offer our society. Yet we keep getting the same detrimental message from our billboards, our magazines, our movies and our television shows: if you're not white, and if you're not hot, you probably don't exist.

I feel this way, too.

Except for the part about the potbelly. That's not "as it should be."

Not so hot, by Shannon, on Personally...

...I think I'm more bothered, though, by the fact that I'm seen as not being a prospective romantic partner because of my lack of hotness. This person of whom I'm speaking is someone I've mentioned here before, the guy I had a crush on not long ago, the one that rejected me. We had become friends, and occasionally had lunch or talked on the phone. Now I realize that he turned me down simply because he doesn't find me attractive, and I'm pissed at that. He's gotten to know me; in fact, he'd gotten to know me when I admitted my attraction to him. And despite knowing me, he let my looks determine his answer. I'm not good-looking enough for him. And that pisses me off. Not because I wish he was attracted to me. Absolutely not. Shallowness is a big turn-off for me. And because I'm pretty happy with who I am, and have finally become comfortable in this body, I'm pissed because this suggests I shouldn't be happy with myself, that who I am isn't good enough. And that's a load of crap. So I'm also pissed because I let this person affect me, let him make me consider changing, let him make me feel like I'm not good enough. Which is also a load of crap.

Here's the thing: I have a good personality. I get a bit intense, a bit emotional, and sometimes my depression is more than I can manage, and I get pretty darned weepy. But I would characterize myself as being a good person overall: smart, funny, caring, loyal, thoughtful, giving, strong, and so on. And I'm not unattractive. All in all, a good package. Not "hot," but good. I'd date me!...

I'd date me, too. I'm really nice. I have exceptional earning potential. And I enjoy hugs. But I'm no Garth Brooks, so...