"Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for President as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke."
"Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans, because it will streamline their search for a Vice President."
"Donald Trump said recently he has a 'great relationship with the blacks.' Though, unless 'the Blacks' are a family of white people, I bet he's mistaken."
Additional hilarity from President Obama:
"I want to make clear to the Fox News table, that was a joke. That was not my real birth video. That was a children's cartoon. Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original longform version."