Who let all these brown people on Top Chef?

Five! Out of 17! That's . . . hold on one moment . . . (carry the 4; add the 2; yes, I graduated from elementary school) . . . 29 percent brown people!

You can learn more about Timothy, Tiffany, Tamesha, Kevin (the “Barack Obama of the cooking game”?), and Kenny on Bravo's Top Chef website. There's also Angelo, but he's too full of himself for my taste. And let us not forget Arnold, the token Asian person. Like his predecessors, will Arnold be short-tempered like Dale, manic like Hung, or angry and forgettable like Gene?

Take note, other television shows I watch. You can have lots of colorful people on the screen at the same time in significant roles, and still have a well-written, succesful program. Seven seasons of Top Chef? Crazy.

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"Oh, here comes the chubby funster."

For some reason, I've been into Ricky Gervais's comedic works over the past few days. My renewed interest started with Extras last week and has now expanded into reruns of The Office (UK). Jim and Pam are funnier in British.

Also, for you history fans out there, a bit about Rosa Parks:

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"This should be on TLC!!"

If only they were big, or little, or fertile, or into baking cakes.

I discovered this pilot while watching a rerun of The Wendy Williams Show featuring Marlee Matlin. I would continue watching more episodes. Although I do share the reaction of one of the YouTube commenters:

Excuse me wtf is blackhood???

I have no idea. I'll bring it up at the next meeting.

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"Everything from China is tainted with communism"?

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The best part of this video is the girl wearing the pink panda shirt unironically. I like when she and her classmates laugh at Aasif's memories of parachute pants and ABBA.

The second best part of this video: Jay Chen, my official new blog crush. You've got some work to do, former #1 blog crush Jay Smooth.

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It sounds like a older version of The Real World,

except less colorful, in every sense of the word (Is it really 2010?):

Rycroft pads resume, by Michael Schneider, Variety.

Melissa Rycroft has gone from contestant on "The Bachelor" to host of the dating competish's spinoff, "Bachelor Pad."

Rycroft will serve as host alongside "The Bachelor's" Chris Harrison.

[ . . . ]

"Bachelor Pad" premieres at 8 p.m. Aug. 9, once "The Bachelorette" completes its run. Show features past contestants and suitors from previous seasons of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" as they live in a mansion together and compete for $250,000 and another chance at finding love.

Also, I thought the title of the article was in an adjective-noun-verb arrangement, not a noun-verb-noun arrangement, but I was mistaken. Meaning, her pads aren't resuming; she is padding her résumé. Because it's the Bachelor "Pad". Puns. Homophones.

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Marky Mark needs to work on his apology skills.

First, this happens:

Watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at MTV.com!

Dude, this is probably going to be Tom Felton's only movie award ever. Unless you readers predict he'll be in a breakout role five years from now that provides more name recognition than "that blond guy from Harry Potter", I think he'll be retiring with his millions and appearing in character roles on the telly. Why did Mr. Wahlberg feel the need to hog all the screen time while our British friend was trying to thank his mother?

This is the "apology" that followed outside:

Watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at MTV.com!

Seriously, Mark. Throw Tom a walk-on role on Entourage. Or at least tell him to say hi to his mother for you:




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It's nice to see the over-40 crowd still moving and shaking.

Watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at MTV.com!

And by "nice", I mean "scary." It has been a while, bless their hearts. Your body doesn't always work like you remember it did back in the day. This is not Mission: Impossible Tom Cruise. This is pushing-50 Tom Cruise. That man adopted a questionable accent and mannerisms, then jumped off a trampoline onto the stage. I was concerned that he or J.Lo would pull something with all that jumping and gyrating. Neither of them are Jack Palance at the 1992 Oscar Awards. He was a spry 73.

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There's only one left. :(

'Golden Girl' Rue McClanahan Dies, AP via Yahoo! News.

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"Coitus Interruptus"

Eight chapters completed in the sequel to to Steve the Penguin! The tentative title of the second novel is now Bianca Reagan: Where The Action Is. An excerpt from Ch. 03:

SandyBeachGirl99: my nephew's birthday party wasn’t that bad. most of Mormon people were nice.

DannyOcean1112: we usually are

SandyBeachGirl99: it was more the not fitting in with my own family

SandyBeachGirl99: they moved to a new town without telling me

SandyBeachGirl99: not to mention the wedding they had 15 years ago without inviting me

DannyOcean1112: do you really want to play the Compare Families game?

SandyBeachGirl99: you win every time

DannyOcean1112: sister was in the pokey. brother with the gambling addiction. both still on probation, wondering what to do with their little ones at home

DannyOcean1112: now my sister is back on house arrest with the ankle bracelet.

DannyOcean1112: can you beat that?

SandyBeachGirl99: let me think. no.

SandyBeachGirl99: but I still wish I could be closer to my niece, considering she only lives an hour away

DannyOcean1112: you are making an effort. I know your niece appreciates it.

SandyBeachGirl99: I’m taking her and her friend to see a movie next month. the remake of Dance ‘til Dawn

DannyOcean1112: that TV movie from the 80s?

SandyBeachGirl99: yep, but this time it’s on the big screen, starring the usual suspects from every teen show on the primetime lineup. I think we’ll have a good time.

DannyOcean1112: well there you go. you’re the fun aunt

DannyOcean1112: i don’t get to be the fun uncle. i’m the responsible one. i am the one stable role model my nieces and nephews have.

SandyBeachGirl99: I know they appreciate you.

SandyBeachGirl99: hold on. phone call.

SandyBeachGirl99: talk amongst yourself

DannyOcean1112: give me a topic

SandyBeachGirl99: Rhode Island is neither a road, nor an island. Discuss.

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Being someone's worst nightmare

I watched an excerpt of this video on Current TV today. It made me sad, seeing that there is such prevalent hatred of people like me, whose only crime is being born this way. This way meaning black, as opposed to one of my many other attributes that inspire prejudice and discrimination against me.

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How could Chilli not choose Farmer D?

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He's a farmer who wears cool hats and helps the homeless. What's not to love? To each her own, I guess. :|

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"I don't know who Justin Bieber is."

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"You know exactly who Justin Bieber is!"

Unfortunately, I do, too. You can't escape Bieber fever.

Also, who knew Aziz was such a fighter:

MTV Shows

I wonder what story my baby pictures would tell.

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Have you seen Modern Family?

I finally started watching last week, after months of people telling me it was their favorite new show. I love when the camera cuts to Lily, the tiny baby, who never speaks, but always says so much.

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I agree, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

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Abdul-Jabbar says NBA entry age should be 21, by Eric Olson, AP Sports Writer via Yahoo! Sports.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says the NBA should raise its minimum age for entry into the league to 21.

The NBA’s career scoring leader and center on the Los Angeles Lakers’ 1980s “Showtime” teams said Wednesday there’s a disturbing sense of entitlement among many of today’s young pros.

“They get precocious kids from high school who think they’re rock stars— ‘Where’s my $30 million?’ ” said Abdul-Jabbar, who was in Omaha to speak at the B’nai B’rith sports banquet. “The attitudes have changed, and the game has suffered because of that, and it has certainly hurt the college game.”

[ . . . ]

Abdul-Jabbar met students Wednesday at Boys Town, the nationally acclaimed home for troubled youth. He told them about his time at UCLA, where he played on three national championship teams for John Wooden and graduated in four years with degrees in English and history.

“Coach John Wooden encouraged me to be more than just a jock,” Abdul-Jabbar said. “He said if I let my intellectual life suffer because I was so into being an athlete that I would be less than I could be. I would tell all students to pursue your dreams but don’t let your education suffer.”

Also, please enjoy the video above featuring Mr. Abdul-Jabbar and Stephen Colbert in HipHopKetball II: The ReJazzebration Remix '06.

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I saved a baby today!

For reals, I did!

A woman was standing on the corner of a sidewalk next to a busy street. She was holding onto a carriage. As I was walking towards the woman, I saw her turn around to look at something behind and let go of the carriage. The carriage rolled onto the asphalt and stopped a few feet away from the corner.

I rushed over and grabbed the handle of the carriage before it could roll any further. To my surprise, there was an actual baby inside! The baby looked calm, unaware that we were reenacting the opening scene of Ghostbusters 2.

I pulled the carriage back onto the sidewalk towards the woman. She was quite upset with herself and uttered some expletives before she thanked me. I said, "you're welcome," and went on about my business, proud to be a hero, a difference-maker in their lives.

I deserve a cookie.

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"You don't even think about it. You just do!"

Well, I don't. Too much hype, not enough usefulness.

Maybe the iPad isn't appealing to me because I don't want to watch the latest Star Trek remake on my lap. Or because the people behind this "magical and revolutionary product" don't exactly reflect me.

"I don't have to change myself to fit the product. It fits me."

Of course it fits you, Jony Ive, Senior Vice President of Design at Apple. You made the product, along with a bunch of guys who look like you and live the same Apple-tastic lifestyle that you do. Setting aside the moneyed white male aspect of the design team, did anyone on the team consider making the iPad unbreakable or waterproof? That would fit me and my lady lifestyle.

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"Really?!?"

Yes, Saturday Night Live was actually funny this week, due in large part to Betty White. The other thing that helped? Guest appearances by former cast members from when the show had jokes.

I would have liked some "What up with That?", but I had to settle for some Scared Straight:





Also, what is Burn Notice?



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"Cuatro!"

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"That's a bunch of Johnny Americans in there."

Arizona has some 'splainin to do. I wasn't going there anyway, but I'm certainly not going there now: Labor, civil rights groups press for national boycott of Arizona.

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A pancake cheesecake sandwich?

The new IHOP Stacker is almost as bad as the KFC Double Down. Call the paramedics before consuming:

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I would like to have a pair of anthropomorphic shoes

that greeted me at my door.

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