Friday, April 29, 2011

They're not my Republican friends.



"The issue it seems to me is with a $1.6 trillion deficit, it is insane to think that the only way you're gonna move toward a balanced budget is by slashing college Pell grants, by cutting Medicaid, by converting Medicare into a voucher program, by cutting programs that working class people and middle-class people desperately need. And at the same time, our Republican friends say, 'Well, we're gonna to do all of these terrible things to the most vulnerable people in America, but you know what, we're not going to ask billionaires to pay a nickel more in taxes.' I think that that is insane."

. . .

"Working people have rights. Health care should be a right of all people, not just a privilege of the wealthy."



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Monday, April 25, 2011

Actor? Painter? Korean pop star? Ice cream magnate?

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Renaissance Nemesis - Frank Jameso
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive



"I'm so Renaissance than under my suit I'm wearing a codpiece."

I'd like to fancy myself a Renaissance Lady, or a polymath, if you will. But apparently, I need to step my game up. Let's start with the ice cream. I've got ideas, Ben & Jerry.

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I do enjoy the little boy eating the Pill, but




I do have two questions about Bridesmaids:

1. Why is this the only movie with an all-female cast coming out this year? I need more movies about platonic lady-friends.

2. How does Maya Rudolph's character have only white friends? Does producer Judd Apatow want to maintain his consistency of keeping any brown people from mucking up the screen? (Watch his movies, and tell me I'm wrong.) This whitewashing syndrome is not exclusive to Mr. Apatow's projects, but it is glaringly apparent in this movie. It's worse than when Rashida Jones's character in I Love You, Man had only white friends and conveniently had no family at all. (What, Quincy couldn't make an appearance?) Or when Jennifer Lopez had no family either in Monster-in-Law.

3. Why did I watch Monster-in-Law?.

Please leave comments! :)

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Soulmates?



I hope not.

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Sunday, April 17, 2011

"Speaking of never intending to give factual statements, Fox and Friends."




"You can get a pap smear or a breast exam at Walgreens . . . Ladies, just look for the stirrups."

Readers, that remark was not intended to be a factual statements. Keep your pants on at the drugstore.

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Friday, April 01, 2011

"If I were you, I'd watch out for red flags."



"But what if I'm like a flag factory that only manufactures giant red flags?"

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I've never been to Harlem,



but after that story, I am not comfortable either. :|

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Friday, March 18, 2011

"I need to keep my hand up."



"Success and likability are positively correlated for men, and negatively correlated for women."

I hear that. Preach the word, Big Bird.

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Saturday, February 12, 2011

"I never sleep on planes."



"I don't want to get incepted."

For those of you who watched the entire episode, I too would like to have a baby in Canada with John Cho, the famous Québécois mobile meth dealer.

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Friday, February 11, 2011

"Charles!"




Ooh, he's sneaky.

Also,





I'd run away, too. No frogs, please.

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Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Don't fight!



You're scaring the children. :( By the by, where is your son?

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Two months later



I wish my illegitimate TV dad could be played by Alan Alda. And I've never even seen M*A*S*H.


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Friday, February 04, 2011

"Either way, let's pee on it."



Poor Gabe.

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Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Super meta



"Comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said."

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