Saturday, November 29, 2008

You cannot afford it!

I need my own show.

I was watching The Suze Orman Show a few weeks ago, as I am prone to do, and I just don't know what is wrong with some people. Most of the guests that talk to Suze in the first segment usually want help and are eager to take Suze's sound advice. However, last night's guest was living in a fantasy world inspired by The Real Housewives of Orange County. She and her husband were emerged in a lifestyle that cost them twice what they earned per month. They also had over $230,000 of credit card debt. Yet this woman, who was physically on the show asking Suze, wanted to ignore Suze's advice. Instead of selling everything and moving into a small apartment that her family could afford, she wanted to keep the overstuffed, overblown mansion and the belongings that she didn't actually own.

This week, a woman called in to the "Can I Afford It?" segment and wanted to spend $1200 on a professional resume writer. $1200? Ummm . . .

People need to call into my imaginary show so I can give them advice. Here are the exclamations that you will hear from me every Saturday night from 6:00 to 7:00 pm:

  • Preach the word, Suze!

  • That's what I'm saying!

  • Diversification!

  • Don't get a second mortgage to lease a second car!

  • Sign the prenup!

  • Get your own retirement account!

  • You can't live in your vintage sports car/Chanel bag/used speedboat/Christian Louboutin shoes!

  • Move your money out of the stock market if you are ready to retire!

  • How are you calling into The Suze Orman Show with credit card debt? Pay off your credit cards!

Unfortunately the people who call Suze can't hear me through the TV.


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