Tuesday, June 22, 2010

"It happens when you're not looking."

I don't know how many times I have heard the sayings below and wanted to tell the other person, in the words of Julia Sugarbaker, "You're full of crap."

19 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person, by Erin Meanley, Glamour via MSN Relationships (sent to me by my similarly single friend from her married brother. Thank you, friend!). An excerpt:

1. It happens when you're not looking.
"This is just bull. Some people find people when they're looking; some don't. You're not doing anything wrong by going out and meeting people." —Beth

2. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
"I dated a guy whose last name was Fish. People just had a BLAST with that one." —Kelly

3. So, why are you single?
"I generally dislike this question. I mean honestly, if I knew why, I don't think I would be single right now, now would I?!" —Erica

4. You're too picky.
"This may be true, but it feels like I'm getting criticized for my taste, vision, and close-mindedness — when I'm already down." —Sarah

[ . . . ]

8. Just have fun with it!
"Um, don't tell me how to date in my thirties when you got married at 24." —Maya

9. Have you tried online dating?
"Duh!" —Elisa

And my favorite:

11. Well, when my boyfriend and I first got together…
"Wait, I still want to talk about me." —Elisa

Exactly. We were talking about me and my problems, not you and your . . . Oh, you've got to talk to someone else who's across the room? Great. Ciao.

I know that they are usually trying to be cheerful, or they don't know anything helpful to say otherwise. But mainly, I need someone to acknowledge that I'm in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad situation. I don't need someone to tell me, "when the time is right, you will meet someone," unless they know when the exact time is and why it is not now.



La Lubu said...

Oh, thank you so much!! I needed a good laugh today. Besides the ever-present, "he's out there" or "there's someone for everyone" (as if Some Guy is out there pining away on his front porch or stoop, just wishing his life away waiting for me)...I really loathe the..."But you're pretty! Why are you single?!" I've taken to responding to that with, "'Cuz I'm a Man-Eating Bitch." I mean, seriously....I'm supposed to answer that? The unspoken "you have the looks, so it must be your *ahem* sunny personality...."

Bianca Reagan said...

You're welcome, La Lubu! I have a great personality, so there's probably no hope for me. :|