Friday, May 18, 2007

I'm not an expert, but I play one on the interwebs.

Ever since I was a little kid, my friends have asked me for advice on relationships and dating. I'm not sure why, since I don't exactly have guys knocking down my door. That is, sane guys my age. I'm still attracting the old and/or crazy. Just today I had a relative stranger asking me if I was married, if I was hiding a ring on my hand, and did I have any plans for the weekend. The man was 50 if he was a day. Seriously, I do not know what possesses people. At least he didn't think I was a gas station prostitute.

Back to my friends. In the past few weeks, four separate friends have asked my opinion on online dating. This isn't that weird, considering we live in the 00s and my friends and I are in prime childbearing age. I guess I'm not the only one worrying about my vajayjay closing up from lack of use. Instead of going back to each of my friends and telling them about the article I read on Racialicious today, I've posted the link here, along with an excerpt: Craigslist Personals: Desperately Seeking Diversity Training, by Wendi Muse.

Some themes I noticed early on include:

1. Nicknames and food references are excellent ways to allude to race.
For example, white women are referred to as “vanilla” or “snow bunnies,” black women are referred to by a myriad of names involving “cocoa” and “chocolate,” and Latinas are almost always referred to as “spicy” or “exotic.” I haven’t seen “geisha” just yet used as a reference to Asian-American women, thank goodness, but I’m sure it’s next.

2. People like using juxtapositions a lot to imply stereotypes about certain groups. For example, I see a lot of things like this: “I am looking for a woman who is slim, drama-free, intelligent, and who has no children. No black or Latin women, please.” Though sentences like that are not connected, you can clearly connect the dots on your own.
I have neither drama nor children. Hmph.

There is more hilarity in the actual article, as well as in the numerous ads Wendi could not include for matters of, shall we say, poor taste and explicitness. (I hope that's a word.)

At the end of the comments that followed, I found the video below, explaining why asian guys can't get white girls.

I don't see why Phillip is having such difficulty finding a girlfriend. He's way cute. And much better looking than his white roommate with the "hairy arms" that mesmerize all the Asian girls. Maybe Phillip could contact one of my many pale single friends, since he's into the white ladies.


Now, from the "someone needs to pee on him" files, R. Kelly Says He's One of the Great Ones.

R. Kelly, the embattled bad boy of R&B, made it clear this week that he is much, much more than a suspect in a notorious child pornography case. In fact, the prolific soul singer and songwriter told Hip-Hop Soul magazine that he’s the Martin Luther King and Muhammad Ali of today.


That’s right. Robert S. Kelly, who is awaiting trial for allegedly performing the most unseemly sex acts with an underage girl (for which he has pleaded not guilty) and catching it all on tape, told the magazine:

“I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now," according to The Chicago Sun-Times.

Mmhmm. I liked the response posted by YaDezire1 at the boards:

i cannot do anything else other than laugh when i read something like this. i am starting to think that r. kelly is not in his right mind at all. he hasn't done anyhting [sic] other than make some good music and have sexual relations with many underage girls, and now he wants to go and compare himself to people who actually made a difference in this world!!! crazy!!

Crazy indeed. I'm still laughing at the idiocy of the self-described Pied Piper of R&B. What a doofus.

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