You know what I love? When some guy tries to school me on the definition of misogyny. (Scroll down to the bottom for the reference.) Because he would know better than me. Despite the fact that I have been doing significant research on women studies, gender studies, and sexual orientation since I was fourteen years old, I'm sure he has the vast knowledge and depth of experience to tell me what is and what is not misogyny, at the very moment I have become the victim of it.
I will comment on all of that craziness, and on Dan's . . . response later. For now, since is the almost end of August, I am going a two week blog vacation. Everybody else is doing it, so why can't we? I'll be back on Labor Day with some choice words for some choice people. I will still be able to see the comments on this blog through my email, so feel free to leave some witty musings.
To anyone to voiced their support for me on the Superbad comment thread: Thank you. I really appreciate it. I often have to defend my views and even my very existence all by myself. It's wonderful when I have help from people who understand where I'm coming from, even if they don't necessarily agree with me.
Until September, I leave you with the abridged lyrics to Madonna's "Human Nature." I usually hate to quote song lyrics to express my emotions, because I think it's silly and overdone. However, this ditty fits the situation perfectly:
Express yourself, don't repress yourself
And I'm not sorry
It's human nature
And I'm not sorry
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
You wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
You didn't want to see life through my eyes
You tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
And silence me with bitterness and lies
Did I say something wrong?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I stay too long?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't speak my mind
[What was I thinking]
You punished me for telling you my fantasies
I'm breakin' all the rules I didn't make
You took my words and made a trap for silly fools
You held me down and tried to make me break
Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you
[What was I thinking]
And I’m not sorry
[I'm not apologizing]
It’s human nature
[Would it sound better if I were a man?]
And I’m not sorry
[You're the one with the problem]
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
[Why don't you just deal with it]
And I’m not sorry
[Would you like me better if I was?]
It’s human nature
[We all feel the same way]
And I’m not sorry
[I have no regrets]
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
[Just look in the mirror]
And I’m not sorry
[I don't have to justify anything]
It’s human nature
[I'm just like you]
And I’m not sorry
[Why should I be?]
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
[Deal with it]
2 comments:
Bianca,
My intention was never to disagree with your ideas or your philosophy, since I suppose I'm a feminist myself. My intention was to disagree with your choice of words. But either I didn't convey that clearly enough, or you didn't understand what I was trying to say.
I'd like to think that overall, I kept my tone civil, except at the end where I may have snapped.
But I stand by what I said. I think that your initial choice of words made people think that you were calling them unintelligent. And you eventually cleared that up when you responded to Vermillion (which I confess, I didn't see until later). I realize that wasn't your intent, but it doesn't change the fact that that's what some people felt.
My second point was about the use of the word misogynist, which is defined as a hatred of women. I find it hard to believe that either the makers of the film, the actors in it, the reviewer or the commenters ever acted or reacted because they hate women. I feel like misogyny, like racism, is sometimes thrown around a little too casually, and by doing so it lessens the severity of when it really does happen.
To say it is disrespectful - I disagree, but I can understand the viewpoint. And some of the commenters were absolutely disrespectful. But then, so was the one who swore at me because I had a type-o in my post. But to say that you were the victim of misogyny because someone either disagreed with you, or swore at you, or was disrespectful to you (all of which, I agree, did occur) is taking it too far.
I guess I felt that you jumped onto the defensive over something that may have been exaggerated. And I think that the disagreement that you and I, specifically, had may have ultimately been a semantic one, in that we feel that certain words have a different level of intensity or importance in their usage.
Anyway. It's obvious that we disagree, and I don't think this is the first time (nor, most likely, the last). But I'd like to stay on the path of civil discourse, and not of argument. Apologies for jumping into your comment section (and for being incredibly long-winded), but the Pajiba comments got way out of hand, and yet I felt I should clarify. I hope this helped you to understand what my intention was.
TK, welcome to my blog! Thank you for clarifying your intention. I enjoy comments on my blog, so don't worry about being long-winded. Catherine makes lengthy comments all the the time, and I adore her.
I do understand what your intention was. When I come back from my blog vacation, I will clarify why I was upset, and who I was upset with for which specific reasons, which I hope will then dispel the assumptions other people (not you) made about me.
I look forward to more debates with you in the future on various topics. I also appreciate that you took the time to come over here and express yourself.
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