I liked these, too!

From ColorLines, via Feministing, The Segregated Blogosphere, by Celina De León.

People of color make up 40 percent of bloggers, but only 26 percent of Internet users. According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project's "Blogger" report, which was based on findings from their February through April 2006 tracking surveys, 11 percent of bloggers are Black, 19 percent are English-speaking Hispanic and 10 percent are some other race or ethnicity.

There are no bloggers of color with the kind of exposure and influence of superstars Matt Stoller of mattstoller.com or Duncan Black of atrios.blogspot. The result, according to [blogger Chris Rabb], has been a typical white liberal/left dialogue in the political blogosphere.

"They won't talk about the racial element of anything that's been deracialized by mainstream media. They're not going to talk about affirmative action, about the racial element of the immigration issue," Rabb said. "Whenever issues of race come up, it's seen as a distraction."

From YouTube, via Feministing, Sexism in Reality TV:


From YouTube, after seeing it on TV last night, the MasterCard paypass Elephant commercial:


I need some elephant care, too. Someone should bring me soup and tuck me in. And was that Ernie Sabella from The Lion King and those beach club episodes of Saved by the Bell? Where has he been?

Insightful Observations

Stories I liked today, via Racialicious:

Let It Be Some 'Other' Asian, by Andrew Lam, New American Media.

All across America, no doubt, non-Korean Asian-Americans are now heaving a sigh of relief. “Asian,” after all, was the four-alarm-fire word we saw throughout the day after the shootings that took the lives of 33 people at Virginia Tech. The shooter was “Asian,” the news reports said. But who was this “Asian” exactly?

Before the news identified the killer as Cho Seung-hui, a 23-year-old English major from South Korea, all ethnic backgrounds were up for grabs. A Chinese friend from a small college town on the East Coast called to say: “Please, please let it be some other Asian. We’ll be in deep if it’s Chinese.”...

Covering Tragedy: Emerging lessons from the Virginia Tech Killings, by Kim Pearson, blogher.

3. Be careful about the "myths" that can become part of the narrative in a story like this one. Dave Cullen, a Dart Center Fellow, covered the 1999 Columbine shootings, and found that "nearly everything we know about it is wrong."...

...5.Try to stay independent of others' political, and personal agendas. Bernie at PopPolitics worries that the Jack Thompsons in this story will sway the debate away from the issue of guns in favor of scapegoating popular culture....

...7. Watch out for the rumor patrol. Joy Reid says the conspiracy theories are already circulating. Check out Snopes.com or other Urban Legends sites before passing along rumors. We've already seen how quickly speculation and rumor becomes news: remember those initial reports that the shooter was a Chinese graduate student? Don't be surprise if other "facts" from the early reporting in this story also turn out to be wrong.

8. Be thoughtful about stereotypes. When the initial reporting identified the suspect as an "Asian male," the Asian American Journalists Association felt compelled to remind journalists of the rule that race should only be included in a news story when it is clearly relevant...

I Hate Gilmore Girls

This is the worst season ever. I don't know of a show that has fallen so far so fast. I don't think Season 5 of The West Wing, after Sorkin left, was this bad.

These post-Palladino, Season 7 writers do not need the character to repeat every phrase two or three times. David Hasselhoff doesn't deserve to have his name dropped more than once an episode, much less in one scene.

Can Rory deal with an actual disappointment in her life? I mean, when she was actually working for stuff in high school, it was fulfilling when she earned something, like delivering a speech on C-SPAN, or getting into. Now when she gets this job in Providence that she doesn't even want, I feel like smacking her face. I'm sure real journalism majors share my sentiment. Holding out for a real newspaper? Please. As if The New York Times would really hire someone like Rory Gilmore.

I do not need anymore Logan on my screen ever. During Seasons 5 and 6, I was worried that I retroactively liked Jess because of how stupid Logan was. After the "you wrote a book" episode where Jess tangles with "the blond dick at Yale," I am now retroactively in love with Jess. Dean goes without saying. I'm not usually into adulterers, but I'll make an exception for the devoted Mr. Forester.

What is up with the, "Hi. How are you?" "Nice to see you again." and "This is a nice house." Is anyone at the show capable of constructing a meaningful line for a character? And how many times do I have to hear about the hay bale maze? Once! That's it. Everyone in town does not need to tell me about the things that I can see for myself happening on the screen. If I see the gazebo being lifted into the air by a crane at the end of one scene, then in the very next scene, Lorelai does not need to tell Rory that Taylor is "ripping out the gazebo with a crane." Hello, I was just there! I know that already!

I actually liked the April and Luke part. Hmm.

On to general CW issues. There's this new annoying segment called "C what's hip" with Mark McGrath. I think this was "hip" back in the mid-90s when it was called E! News Update with Steve Kmetko. And Mark McGrath, from Extra? The last time you were "hip" was when you were chanting "Fly" with Sugar Ray. If I want to "C what's happening," I'm not going to the lovechild of the WB and UPN--who brought us such gems as Pussycat Dolls: The Search for the Next Doll, and the final season of 7th Heaven--to find out what's going on in the world of celebrity.

Back to Gilmore Girls. Watching Season 7, and then watching Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD? The comparison makes me want to barf. Or maybe I ate too much for breakfast. My tummy is only so big inside.

I hope Jezebel James makes it to air.

End of kvetching.

Tracy Morgan, Uplifting the Race.

From YouTube, via Racialicious, listed under Tracy Morgan Wasted on Live TV.

Welcome to Our World

...Look, if you blog, and blog about controversial shit, you'll get idiotic emails. Most of the time, said "death threats" don't even exist -- evidenced by the fact that the crying bloggers and journalists always fail to produce said "death threats"...

...It's not as if those cowards will actually act on their threats...

...If they can't handle a little heat in their email inbox, then really, they should try another line of work...

- From Death threats and blogging, by Kos at Daily Kos, in response to Blog death threats spark debate, from BBC News.


I found this discussion via Feministing, in the post Kos: Getting harassed? Stop blogging., by Jessica, a valid reaction to uninformed statements quoted above. Read the linked articles--the BBC News one first--so you'll understand the context. Here's what Jessica had to say:

It's always nice to see our "progressive" brothers taking misogyny and violence against women seriously...

...So let me get this straight: blogging about the oh-so-controversial world of software development means you should expect to get death threats. After all, nothing brings out the crazies like tech-talk. And besides, she probably made it all up anyway...

...I mean come on, if you can't handle your address and social security number being published along with threats of rape, hanging, suffocation and death--you're a fucking lightweight...

As I was reading some of the linked response postings at Feministe and Shakesville, I was reminded of something I read last weekend in Souls Looking Back: Life Stories of Growing up Black. It was in an essay by a woman named Chantal, who was a junior in college at the time:

I knew that my view of the world was changing when a statement by a speaker at a conference I attended revived all of the analytical skills that I learned in my best classes at college. The speaker, an African American male, said that the black feminist movement was destructive to the African American struggle for equality and self-improvement. He said that because the black feminist movement is based on the white feminist movement, it is centered in the Eurocentric idea of individualism. In his opinion, black feminists were against the family and were most interested in themselves. I thought to myself, "In many cases, without us, the black family could not have survived!" He continued with the "fact" that the issues facing black women were nothing compared to those faced by black men (incarceration, murder, drug usage, etc.). I tried to argue with him, but I had no knowledge of black feminism, so I floundered in my words.

Progressive Black women, and other progressive non-white women, and progressive non-hetero women, have been struggling with this concept for years, decades, if not centuries. I personally was struck with this last year when I discovered The Michael Baisden Show on V100, after 100.3 The Beat disappeared from the LA radio airwaves. Most of the people who call in to Michael's show now are pretty stable individuals. But last year, when the show was just getting on its feet, there were some nutters (possibly off their meds) who liked to hear themselves on the radio. My point is, at least two black men called in saying that black women were the cause of not only the high incarceration rate of black males, but also the reason for the crack problem in the United States.

Quoi?

Then, less personally, was the "Love Taps" episode of A Different World, directed by Kadeem Hardison, where Gina gets beat up by her boyfriend, Dion. And Freddie, on her radio show, reads a poem that goes something like, "Brother, you always tell me about the man keeping you down. But the man you just hit me with was your fist." Don't quote me on that.

I was also reminded of this article on AfterElton: Crossing the Gay Color Lines, by James Hillis.

Isaiah Washington, an African American actor, uses the word "faggot" during an altercation on the set of ABC's Grey's Anatomy. Tim Hardaway, a black former NBA star, hears that another former NBA player is gay and responds: "I hate gay people. … I am homophobic. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

White gay men see these incidents as examples of a homophobic African American culture. Straight African Americans see a cynical media exploiting caricatures of the angry, ignorant black man. Neither appraisal reveals the more complex truths about why GLBT people and African Americans still eye each other suspiciously across the cultural divide.

Are the parallels that gays make between GLBT struggles and the civil-rights movement instructive or offensive? What is the deeper meaning behind the perceived homophobia in the African American community? And what about inclusiveness in the gay community? Do gays of all ethnicities live up to the ideal of the "rainbow" people?

It can be awfully hard identifying with multiple oppressed groups and not being fully understood by any of them.

Anyways. Markos Moulitsas Zúniga does not have the market cornered on being an insensitive, willfully ignorant "progressive." Just today I had to listen to Johnny Wendell on KTLK AM 1150, LA's progressive talk station, ranting about the greatness of this story, featured in this LA Times article: Santa Ana chamber pushing residents to learn English. I think English classes are a great idea, especially for those persons who butcher the language even though it's the only one they speak. However, Mr. Wendell's main argument was that people who come to the United States need to speak the language of the country (English), because he was here first. Unless Mr. Wendell is over 200 years old, I don't think he really was here first. And God forbid he learn another language in order to communicate with anyone else.

The LA Times article states, "More than half the city's employees speak Spanish, most Asian merchants have learned the language, and nearly every retail business has Spanish-speaking employees." The very next sentence is, "Business owners need employees who speak English, chamber officials said." If over half of the people working in Santa Ana are fluent in Spanish, then why don't the chamber officials encourage the rest of the residents, i.e. business owners, to learn Spanish?

Don't even get me started on Al Franken and Marc "Mr. K" Germain empathizing with Michael Richards as a fellow comedian. And Jon Stewart refusing to hire more than three correspondents at a time that aren't white males with short brown hair.

I'm getting off topic here, but what I'm trying to say is, for some self-appointed "progressive" leaders like Kos, special interests like women's rights, queer rights, and non-white people issues just don't register as things that relate to them, or even things they should be concerned about. And why should they worry about them? They are (usually) straight males. It's not like they'll ever interact with any women or gay people or non-white people, who might already have solutions to their true progressive issues.

No, forget about listening to women with demonstrable problems. Instead, these "progressive" leaders should continue to dismiss our concerns, if not ignore us completely. And if we do receive death threats because we've offended someone by simply being female, I guess we really "should try another line of work."

But if the death threats come true, and we women are all gone, I wonder who will be left to speak up for Kos.

This expresses my sentiment.

From Feministing, You will not shame me, by Samhita:

I have gotten email upon threatening email to rescind what I said last year about the Duke Women's Lacrosse Team and their uninformed support for the accused rapists in the Duke rape case. The case that was mishandled, manipulated and finally dropped on Wednesday...

...I just want to say first and foremost, I still stand by what I say and have said. It does look bad for people to support accused rapists, at that point we didn't know the facts either way. Furthermore, women of color are in fact OFTEN sexually assaulted and usually the criminal justice system and/or the media either overlook it or mishandle it. Women of color often have a higher burden of proof that they are not lying about rape. Case in point (as Amanda and others stated ): when the lack of DNA evidence was announced -- before we even knew whether the players were innocent or not -- people were quite quick to accuse the accuser of being guilty of lying...

...And what is the outcome of all of this? The general public now believes that black strippers ARE in fact lying whores and the worst thing that could happen to a strapping Duke lacrosse player is that his lily white reputation is marred by false accusations. Beyond this being a terrible precedent set for women that bring up rape accusations (still something underreported) to never ever report rape again, the racist and sexist reaction from the media and public have been to say the least profound...

I also liked this comment that followed by The Law Fairy, emphases and expletives hers:

...These guys were accused, potentially falsely. They got a lot of publicity for it, and now they're sobbing about their poor tattered reputations.

Um.

These guys all but BEGGED for the publicity they got. They did media interviews OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL. They whined and screamed the whole time that the simple existence of charges against them was itself discriminatory. And because they are rich and white, the [MainStream Media] ate it the fuck UP. Make no mistake: these assholes WANTED the publicity. They MADE the publicity happen. Their LAWYERS made the publicity happen. This was a calculated media attack meant to intimidate the DA into fucking up, and guess what -- he did. Now, instead of taking their victory and going home, they want to re-write history and pretend that the MSM was against them this whole time.

I don't think I've EVER read an MSM story where a stripper was believed over a rich white guy she claims raped her. I read a few blogs supporting the woman in this case. Please, if someone could point me to an MSM article that ACTIVELY SUPPORTED THE NOTION THAT THESE PRICKS WERE GUILTY, I would really appreciate it. I'm not talking balanced articles. I'm not talking articles reporting the facts. I'm talking articles that came out and said "these scumbags did it. Listen to the stripper." I mean, crazy I haven't seen one, I know, Time and Newsweek print stories like that all the time, right?...

Someday I'll write about happy things again, like this week's episodes of The Office and 30 Rock. I need to get my own Floyd, because this VapoRub isn't going get under my nose by itself.

Getting into B-School, and Unnecessary Guilt Trips.

In a completely unrelated note, I discovered a crusty scab on the top of my head from the straightening on Saturday. Lovely. I hate getting burned.

#

To the topics at hand. I've been studying for the GMAT, because someday I'll actually be going to business school. The GMAT is hard. Like, for reals. I'm a smart lady, but some of this stuff is ridiculous. Since I started my focused concentration a couple weeks ago, I've become less intimidated by test. I'm pretty good at Sentence Correction, since I was the freak who enjoyed my Grammar classes in Middle and Upper school. And my Problem Solving skills aren't so bad either. I have never liked Reading Comprehension, and the GMAT is only solidifying that opinion, but I'll muddle through that section. However, nothing can justify the existence of the Data Sufficiency portion of the exam. Oh my goodness. Here is a Sample Data Sufficiency Question, provided by the Graduate Management Admissions Council:

If a real estate agent received a commission of 6 percent of the selling price of a certain house, what was the selling price of the house?

(1) The selling price minus the real estate agent's commission was $84,600.
(2) The selling price was 250 percent of the original purchase price of $36,000.

(A) Statement (1) ALONE is sufficient, but statement (2) alone is not sufficient.

(B) Statement (2) ALONE is sufficient, but statement (1) alone is not sufficient.

(C) BOTH statements TOGETHER are sufficient, but NEITHER statement ALONE is sufficient.

(D) EACH statement ALONE is sufficient.

(E) Statements (1) and (2) TOGETHER are NOT sufficient.

Pencils down. The answer is (D).

FYI, no calculators are allowed. Also, you cannot skip any questions. They appear one at a time on the computer screen, and you must pick an answer before you can move on to the next one. And you have to do it quickly, because the GMAT is timed, and "there is a severe penalty for not completing" the test. Super!

Side note: one of my Sentence Correction questions today involved King Henry VII and Anne Boleyn. Ugh. I am so sick of The Tudors, and I haven't even seen a full episode. Although with all the multi-platform promotion thrown in my face, it feels like I've endured the entire series. Give it a rest, Showtime. Three straight months of commercials is not going to make me watch your "historical" (as if), oversexed, misogynist, Eurocentric, war-mongering, patriarchal crap, no matter how many times Jonathan Rhys-Meyers screeches, "I'm the king of England!"

#

Second part. I went to the Post Office to buy stamps earlier this week, and that is always a to-do with me. I am very picky about the stamps that I like, for various reasons. I was running out of the Longfellow stamps that I had purchased last month, and I liked those. They have pretty shades of blue around the old man's face. So I planned to buy more of them. I waited in the line, and it moved relatively quickly, by Post Office standards. The woman behind the counter showed me collage of the colorful choices available, even though half of them were Xed out.

I selected the Longfellow again, along with DC Comics Super Heroes, With Love and Kisses, Lunar New Year, and Crops of the Americas. Altogether, it was about 100 stamps. The woman asked me if that was all I needed, and I said, Yes. I didn't need any more Post Office paraphernalia. Then she asked me, "Are you sure? What about the Ella Fitzgerald stamps?"

What about them?! I had just picked out almost $40 worth of stamps. I didn't need anymore. Was I supposed to buy them because they have BLACK HERITAGE in bold caps at the top? As if Ella Fitzgerald was only significant to black people, and not to American History in general.

I simply told the woman, No, paid for my stamps, and didn't make a stink. Luckily the woman was black, so I didn't feel the need to scowl at her or make a snippy remark. Though I did wonder, if I had been East Asian, would she have pushed even more Lunar New Year stamps on me? And what if she assumed I was Jewish? Should I have bought the Hanukkah stamps? There weren't any timely Passover ones on display.

I know the woman was probably just being nice, and I was being overly sensitive as usual. But this isn't the only time I've felt obligated to support something because I was black. I don't have any other pertinent examples at the moment. I'm sure I'll think of something later. Ooh, Soul Plane. That was just an embarrassment to everyone involved. More realistically though, Malcolm X. I was being pressured into going to see this movie by some adults in my life when it came out in St. Thomas. I don't have an excuse for not seeing it now. But at the time, I was 10 years old, and the movie was over three hours long. And to my knowledge, Malcolm X did not involve any singing crabs, dancing teapots, or wisecracking genies. So why would I have wanted to see it?

I did watch Kevin Hill, despite critics assuming that black people don't watch black dramas. I'm still not over that show being cancelled. Nor am I over the end of Everwood. I don't care that the series' respective networks technically no longer exist, or that their respective stars Taye Diggs and Treat Williams are both headlining new series that should be airing sometime this year. Strangely enough, Taye and Treat will both be playing doctors in dramatic situations. Because we don't have enough of them on the TV already.

Fat, Black, Ruby or Weld?

More articles I found and liked today, emphases mine:

From The New York Times, Trash Talk Radio, by Gwen Ifill.

I was covering the White House for this newspaper in 1993, when Mr. Imus’s producer began calling to invite me on his radio program. I didn’t return his calls. I had my hands plenty full covering Bill Clinton.

Soon enough, the phone calls stopped. Then quizzical colleagues began asking me why Don Imus seemed to have a problem with me. I had no idea what they were talking about because I never listened to the program.

It was not until five years later, when Mr. Imus and I were both working under the NBC News umbrella — his show was being simulcast on MSNBC; I was a Capitol Hill correspondent for the network — that I discovered why people were asking those questions. It took Lars-Erik Nelson, a columnist for The New York Daily News, to finally explain what no one else had wanted to repeat.

“Isn’t The Times wonderful,” Mr. Nelson quoted Mr. Imus as saying on the radio. “It lets the cleaning lady cover the White House.”

From The Huffington Post, Fearless Voices: The Feminine Mistake, by Leslie Bennetts.

...sociologists have spent decades comparing the kids of working moms with those of full-time homemakers, consistently failing to prove that the latter do better. "The research on the impact of working mothers on kids shows that there isn't any," reported sociologist Pamela Stone. And when the kids grow up, the futures of working mothers are usually brighter than those of the homemakers, who often find themselves financially stranded and bereft of viable opportunities for employment.

And yet millions of women continue to be misled by the fairy-tale version of life, in which Prince Charming comes along and takes care of you forever. Our culture programs women to believe that they can depend on a man to support them -- the classic feminine mistake -- and fails to explain how often that alluring promise is betrayed, whether by a change of heart or a heartless fate.

Naively, I assumed that once women were offered more accurate information, they would be eager to get it...Wouldn't they want to protect their own interests by educating themselves about the dangers that lie ahead -- and to plan accordingly?...

...It shouldn't be news that educating ourselves can help us to make smarter choices...why would you make a major life choice that could jeopardize your future without informing yourself about the risks -- and the alternatives?

And yet many stay-at-home mothers seem unwilling to do so. In my interviews, most said they didn't want to think about the problems they might encounter in the future, let alone to do any contingency planning. When I asked about the dangers of economic dependency, they bristled and insisted that bad things would never happen to them, only to other people.

Race to Our Credit, by Tim Wise.

Sometimes it can be difficult, having a conversation with those whose political views are so diametrically opposed to one's own.

But even more challenging, is having a discussion with someone who simply refuses to accept even the most basic elements of your worldview. At that point, disagreement is less about the specifics of one or another policy option, and more about the nature of social reality itself.

This is what it can be like sometimes, when trying to discuss the issue of white privilege with white people. Despite being an obvious institutionalized phenomenon to people of color and even some of us white folks, white privilege is typically denied, and strongly, by most of us.

Happy Tuesday!

That's My Funday

Stories I liked today:

w00t Team Brown! We're not fugly!, from Sepia Mutiny, which is a commentary on Obama Shocker:Long-Haired Barry Is American Idol, from Wonkette:

There’s growing evidence that American Idol sensation Sanjaya Malakar and Decision 2008 sensation Barry Hussein Obama are the same person.

I wonder what Mr. Macaca Goldstein, who thankfully lost his his Senate seat in Virginia last year, would have to say about that.

The story that's still going strong: Imus called women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos", from Media Matters, which has quite a collection of articles on Don Imus. And the latest from Yahoo! News, CBS radio, MSNBC to suspend Imus 2 weeks.

How The Gawker Stalker Map Works: A Guide for Dummies, Outraged Famous People And Old Folk, from Gawker. It's a response to last Friday's Larry King Live, where the host of The Man Show (Jimmy Kimmel), Michael Jackson's attorney (Mark Geragos) and Isaiah Washington's publicist (Howard Bragman) ganged up on Gawker editor Emily Gould to lecture her about the evils of gossiping about celebrities, i.e. the same people they interview and represent for a living, respectively. You can watch the video here, courtesy of Jossip.

For some reason, I thought I would revisit Penelope Trunk's blog since I hadn't read it in a few months. Yes, that Penelope Trunk. I scrolled down and found a post called This is a replacement for the post that used to be here. I read the comments that followed, but I couldn't figure out what had happened exactly to warrant such a retraction. So I did a Google search and found these articles: Tories sack woman for having breast cancer, from the f-word (scroll down for relevant topic); When Career Expert Rivalries Turn Ugly, from mediabistro.com; and Jennifer Weiner's latest post on her blog, SnarkSpot. I then came to the conclusion that in her orginal post, Ms. Trunk had called Leslie Bennetts, author of The Feminine Mistake, "SO INCREDIBLY FAT!!!", capital letters and exclamation points by Ms. Trunk. She also linked to a picture of Ms. Bennetts to emphasize her assertion. Ms. Trunk then dismissed the thrust of Ms. Bennetts' novel--that mothers and other women should have careers and take care of themselves, instead of depending on a man for financial security--based on the assumption that Ms. Bennetts is not following her own advice and taking care of herself...because she is "fat."

Hmm.

After reading that, you know I had to find that original post. I'm no expert on the interwebs. (Obviously. I still can't figure out how to change my blog's color from pink to purple.) But I knew that if Pajiba could rebuild its entire website from cached searches after the Department of Homeland Security snatched their server, I could find one embarrassing blog post. And I did.

Wow. I'm not posting it or linking to it here, but I'm sure you clever readers can Google cache the horror for yourselves.

Look out, Don Imus. If only there were an Al Sharpton of fat people that Penelope could apologize to.

Speaking of which, who elected Mr. Sharpton as the spokesperson for the "nappy-headed hos," "hardcore hos," "rough girls," Rutgers basketball players, or for the black population in general? I don't listen to Al's radio show. I don't know any black people who do. And even if I did, who said that Al Sharpton represents all of us? I know Al does not speak for me as a black person, nor as a woman who grows nappy hair.

Don needs to get himself over to Oprah. Two birds, one stone. Maybe have Sheryl Swoopes on the show at the same time to cover the basketball angle.

My Saturday: Living the Black Experience

I got my hair straightened this afternoon. Now I can scratch my head again after a week of only being able to pat at itchy spots. I don't think I got burned, but my head did ache from the parting of my 1-2 inches natural growth. Yikes. My scalp was not happy with the comb pulling through the jungle that is my hair. I'm okay now, though. The relaxer took, and my hair is all shiny. Enjoy while you can, people; I'm getting it braided tout de suite. Meaning, next weekend, I hope.

While I was sitting under the dryer for the two hours it takes for my hair not to be wet anymore, I was reading Souls Looking Back: Life Stories of Growing Up Black. I borrowed it from the lovely and modern Santa Monica Library, along The Color of Our Future: Race in the 21st Century, which I haven't begun reading yet. I had spent much of Friday afternoon in the library reading Coal to Cream: A Black Man's Journey Beyond Color to an Affirmation of Race. It was mostly about the author's enchantment with, then disillusionment of, the race and color structure in Brazil and other South American countries, as compared to his experience growing up as a black man in the United States.

As I was reading these stories, I thought about many of these people's struggles in relation to my own upbringing. Growing up in St. Thomas wasn't perfect, and spending four years at LMU had its own frustrations. But for the most part, life was very good. Very good. Much of that was a function of my middle class background, my well-meaning parents, my intelligence, and my drive to succeed. I had never thought that because I was black I couldn't do something. I had never thought that because I was a woman I couldn't do something. Not doing something was not an option, not in my Middle and Upper School, and not in my home. None of my teachers thought I was doing well for a black student, or for a girl. They thought I was excelling for a student in my class.

The only times during high school when I felt like something was off was when I went away to summer programs at university. During the summer after ninth grade, I went to Exploration at Wellesley. At the time, I didn't think anything was weird. I learned about making videos, gender roles in American society, and discrimination against gay people. Oh, and the Summer Olympics. What I didn't realize until later was that almost all of the black kids at Explo were hanging out together exclusively. Meaning, sans moi. I just thought they all knew each other. All the friends that I made at Explo were white or Asian. And I never thought about that fact until I was in college. I never noticed that they were white or Asian. I just thought they were nice people.

The following summer, I went to the Institute of Television, Radio and Film Production at Boston University. Out of 54 people, three of us were black. We were also all girls. The rest of the people were mostly white, except for one of my friends who was an Asian guy. He carried around a small cow whom he called Le Moo. That's not relevant to the story, but it's true. Oh, and another of my friends was an Asian girl, who I think was a transcultural/transracial adoptee, because her parents came to Family Day, and they were white.

Anyway, there were a few other high school student programs going on at Boston University at the same time that shared a dorm with us. One was maybe music related, one was science related, one was drama related. And then there was Upward Bound. Or Outward Bound. One of the two. It involved taking inner-city youths, i.e. mostly black folks, and putting them in classes at the university for six weeks. I didn't really interact with any of them outside of the mandatory group activities provided for all the programs. But the two other black girls in ITRP did. Again, I had thought, maybe they know them. At one point, one of my tablemates in the cafeteria, who was in either the science or drama program, was surprised that I was in ITRP. He thought I was in...something else. He didn't specify what, and I didn't ask, but I'm sure he had assumed that I was their for Upward/Outward Bound. Why? I wondered to myself. The only people I was hanging out with that summer were all sitting at the table with me, and they were all from ITRP. It was glaringly obvious that I was in ITRP, yet he thought I was in some other program because I was black.

The icing on the cake was when the programs had the final dance before we all went home. All the ITRP, science and drama people had a dance together. But the Upward/Outward Bound people had a separate dance on a different night. What? That was the most bizarre thing to me. When I came home at the end of my summer, I mentioned this to my Mummy. First, she told me that I had gained weight. Hmph. The food was good. Well..it was plentiful and paid for. Again, not related. Then she expressed her understanding for separate dances and that Upward/Outward Bound people probably preferred it that way. What? That's not cool. We didn't have separate "ethnic" people dances at my school. Not like we could; there weren't enough people for that. I guess the people who ran the programs acknowledge that different people, i.e. white people and black people, liked different music, and having separate dances would make more people happy. But it didn't make me happy. Yes, I did have a good time at the white people dance. Yet I am still disturbed to this day that there was so much silently acknowledged racial division amongst these Boston University programs that our last events celebrating our summer of collegiate level learning had to be officially segregated.

Back to today. After my hair was done, I went to the Fox Hills mall to look for jeans on sale at Lane Bryant. My bum-bum has now expanded to size 16, and my old favorite jeans no longer fit comfortably. It's always a time at Fox Hills. Some of my friends prefer not to go there because it's too "ghetto" for them. Hmph. Yes, Fox Hills does cater to its black and Latino patrons. Meaning, there are multiple venues for purchasing athletic gear, "ethnic" hair care products, and baby clothes, just like the "mall" I grew up with in St. Thomas. But now that Fox Hills has an Old Navy, in addition to the Victoria's Secret, Macy's and Bath and Body Works that have always been there, shouldn't the disdain for the edifice decrease? Jeez. If only they had a Gap and an Ann Taylor Loft, I'd be set. I will admit that when I do see white people at Fox Hills, without at black or Latino friend, I wonder if they're lost. I'm such a racist.

I don't have anymore black experiences from today. I do have one from Wednesday. I found this article via Racialicious: The helplessness of white people. If you're reading this and you're my friend and you're white, I'm sure this doesn't apply to you. It's about those other white people (and some nonwhite people) who aren't as cultured and aware as you are.

Recently I attended a workshop about race and racism primarily attended by white people. And I was really struck by the expressions of helplessness with regard to dealing with racism: “We can’t do it by ourselves,” “We need people of color to help us,” “How can we make friends with people of color who can help us?” “We have no way of understanding race and racism.”

It was stunning to hear a bunch of well-educated people make so many statements about their inability to deal with the subject on their own. And it occurred to me that racism is still portrayed as the problem of people of color, to be solved by people of color. If white people are to work on anti-racism, we must carry them on our backs. Then we are expected to be grateful that they did any work at all. Yet this replicates long-held patterns of privileged behavior and denies primary responsibility.

This was my favorite part, emphasis mine:

There are many issues that concern me about transracial adoption...I think one of the most troublesome aspects of transracial adoption is the way it illustrates for me how white people are able to confer or deny visibility to people of color. In many situations, I’m aware of my invisibility. I know white adoptive parents who can’t pick me out of a room of same-race people even though they’ve “known” me for four or five years. And even in my community, they speak only to each other. What a way to teach your kid.

I couldn't imagine someone who has known me for any length of time not being able to pick me out of a room. I get picked out of rooms immediately. Mostly because I am never in a room with that many black people any more. Not by choice. I just no longer have the opportunity. :( I have seen that phenomena happen before, though. And it's so sad, because it says so much about the person who can't recognize their colleague of color.

Someone named Wendi then left a comment about how "people" and "person" usually stands for "white people" and "white person" in American media, while nonwhite people have to be described primarily by their color or ethnicity. For example, to paraphrase Wanda Sykes, if Tiger Woods committed a crime, the headline would read, "Black Golfer Arrested." I left a comment, too:

Wordy McWord, Wendi. That concept of “white” being the default and ethnic people being the “other” is something I come across in most books and almost every screenplay I have ever read. As if “black” can fully describe a character, considering the ever-persistent one-drop rule.

I used to be apologetic when I tried to explain my frustration with this my associates, as if I was the one with the problem. Well, no more! It is insulting to think that white people are the default and that non-white people must be described primarily by their race, color or ethnicity, especially when it has nothing to with the context.

That is all.

In woman experiences, I also left a witty comment on Pajiba, in response to The Daily Trade Round-Up on Thursday, called He's Just Not That Into Your Pajiba. I got a couple of good responses, too, including one calling me eloquent. So cool! You can scroll down and find it near the bottom, so you can read it in context. Or you can read it out of context here:

Word to Big Bird, molly and Jorden. Pajiba definitely needs more strong, talented female voices. It would only make your website stronger.

I read Pajiba religiously, but if you boys don't get something that is targeted at women, do not immediately write it off just because you don't have a vagina. I don't have a penis, but I can write coherently on why I won't be seeing Blades of Glory, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm not its target demographic.

I could go on for days about why I hate the book He's Just Not That Into You and the subsequent fame that it has brought Mr. Behrendt. I also hated half of the Traveling Pants movie because it ruined the stories of Lena and Bee, mostly with Alexis Bledel's bad acting. But, I loved the first and second Traveling Pants books, and I own all six seasons of Sex and the City. Daniel, I'm a Miranda, and I'm very of proud of that.

No matter how cute I think Adam Brody is, I won't be watching In the Land of Women, because the movie looks stupid. And if and when one of you writes a review of the movie for this site, please don't make the theme of your article, "I didn't understand this movie because I'm a guy." You can do better than that.

P.S. I liked Dunston Checks In. Mostly because I thought Graham Sack was cute. But Faye Dunaway was funny, too.

Whether you're into Jesus, or the bunny with the eggs, Happy Easter!

If you're not a feminist...

I'd like to know why.

I don't think "you should kill yourself," even though Margaret Cho thinks you should. I'd rather you read this article, You might be a feminist if... from the April 5, 2006 edition of The Daily Vidette, which I'm guessing is the Illinois State University newspaper:

...anyone who opposes an injustice based on gender - whether they're male or female - is a feminist, or at least, they can be said to hold some feminist views.

Despite what backlash has claimed, feminism is nothing more than the powerful notion that women and men deserve to be treated equally...

...If you think it's unfair for a rape victim to be asked if she's a virgin at her rapist's trial, you might be a feminist....

...If you want to be paid the same wage as a man who does the same work as you...Who are you kidding? You're a feminist...

I thought about writing my own list for people who say, "I'm not a feminist, but..." But what? What is stopping you from calling yourself a feminist? Do you think people will buy into the myth that feminists burn their bras? Or the myth that feminists hate men? Or the myth that all feminists are lesbians?

All those statements are untrue for a variety of reasons. So now what's stopping you? Really, I want to know. Please leave comments!

I'm not usually into labels myself, because one word or phrase cannot fully describe a person, especially not a complicated individual like myself. However, feminist is a label that I have worn proudly since I was 14 years old. I would have called myself one sooner--as I have stood up for women's rights since I was in kindergarten--but I didn't know there was a word for that. At the time, I also had no idea that so many people all over the world didn't want women to have equal rights, or any rights at all. I couldn't fathom why anyone would want to keep me down just because I am female. Of course, now I know that's only one of the many reasons mean people will actively dislike me. I'm a nice girl, but I can't stop all the haters out there with my wit and charm.

Oh, and menfolk? You can be feminists, too. There is no vaginal requirement.

Note to TurboTax:

I do not have a domestic partner. Please stop asking me if I would like to declare them on my tax returns. I do not need to be reminded of the fact that I am still alone.

This Thing is No Longer in Diapers

Friday's Cheers and Jeers from Daily Kos:

Democratic leaders in the House juggle hearings:

Let's see... I'll need room number two tomorrow for the Prosecutor scandal testimony.

Can't. Walter Reed scandal's in two. You'll have to use room number three.

But three's being used for the FBI illegal spying investigation. What about room one?

No good. That's for the Katrina hearings. Oh wait, never mind, that's Lieberman's committee...nothing scheduled there. You can have room one.

Hold up there, pard'ner. I reserved room one for the Valerie Plame scandal. Use room four.

Nah, four's taken. Investigation into bogus reasons for going to war.

Five? Nope. Torture scandal's in five.

Six? No can do. War profiteering scandal.

Seven? Nope. Subprime lending scandal.

Eight? Sorry. Abramoff scandal.

Nine? Booked. GSA scandal.

Ten? Nope. Boehner ethics scandal.

Boehner? Really?

Shook down a Girl Scout. Made off with 43 bucks and a case of thin mints.

How about room eleven?

That's the men's room. But it's wide open.

Fine. I'll take it.

#

In other news, I am done with October Road. I couldn't get through the second episode. I love you, Bryan Greenberg (and you, too, Mr. Minkus), but Bryan, you do not have enough acting talent to carry a series, especially one this poorly written.

#

Open memo to Joseph Gordon-Levitt:

Please do a movie that makes me laugh. 10 Things is one of my faves, but I've already seen it at least 20 times. This depressing Lookout, Shadowboxer, Brick indie oeuvre isn't doing it for me. I don't care what those Sundance people are telling you; bring back the funny. Don't make me have to get my fix from buying Seasons 2-6 of 3rd Rock.

#

Finally, Daily Show, you are on notice. Mr. Stewart, hire some new writers and some funny correspondents I can relate to (John Hodgman, Larry Wilmore, and Rob Riggle: don't worry, you're all safe), because your show is this close to SNL country.

Desi isn't the guy from I Love Lucy?

Kal Penn, UPenn, Wait...what happened??

This IM conversation about Kal Penn that I found through Racialicious has been cracking me up all day. My favorite part is when NjDe$iQTpie complains that GujuHottiee120586 made her sit through The Namesake twice:

…so effing BORING. waaaah, my parents r immigrants, n im like sooo confused about who i am, i think ill date white girlz until i get wat i deserve from some desi bitch. then ill cry some more in some guava orchard b4 my arranged marrage with some chic in cheetah-print heelz who smokes which ill agree to bc now ive returnd to my rootz and shit after living with some widow n a bunch of lower cast peepz in the motherland…waaaaah

Hee! I love learning more about other diasporic cultures in America. I'm still not exactly sure what desi means, though. I know it's an adjective about being South Asian. If anyone would like to enlighten me, please feel free!

I Thought It Was Just My Parents.

From Extras, “Episode 6: Patrick Stewart”:

Maggie, a career movie extra, enters her messy single apartment and checks her answering machine. She has one message:

"Hello, dear. It’s your daddy here. Um, with your mummy. Um, uh, nothing important--”

"Oh, give it to me. Hallo, dear. Great news about Andy. We're so pleased for him. And it just got us thinking that maybe you should try and do something with your life. I mean, your dad and I aren't expecting anything spectacular. We were just thinking maybe a wee job you could be proud of. You know, we love you so much. We hate to think of you growing old and being poor and living in squalor and dying a spinster. So just give us a call to put our minds at rest that you're not just frittering your life away. Would you? Okay? And if things get any worse, you can always come back home. We've still got your room."

"Well it's sort of my study now."

"We could easily squeeze in a tiny, wee single bed. All right then, give us a call, sweetheart. Bye for now."

"Bye, dear."

The message ends.

Maggie, now slumped on her couch, mercilessly beaten by this parental psychological onslaught, responds to the machine with a downtrodden, "Bye."

#

In other news, here are some articles, found via Racialicious and Feministing, that have intrigued me this week:

Kal Penn turns into a Professor. To teach at University of Pennsylvania.

Building an Old Girls' Club, including links to High Power and High Heels, and Male Attorneys: Totally Victimized. Hee!

Also, check out, Women-Only Networking Events & The Law, if only for quality comments, like:

My father once said “Son, if there’s a sign on the door stating ‘Irish Need Not Apply’ that means you, so keep walking.” I feel the same about these women-pnly [sic] events and I don’t attend.

And:

...they don’t really welcome male participation and membership and they just say that so people won’t complain. The idea that these events marginalize women is a crock. These events are exclusionary and the exclusion is often premised on negative stereotypes about men.

Really? Apparently if women who work in the male-dominated arenas of business and law decide to get together to support each other, this is in some way discriminatory towards men. Yeah. Okay.

Here's another gem about including non-white people on the TV: Diversity Rewrites Prime-time Script, by A.J. Frutkin/Mediaweek.

...casting scripted and nonscripted shows is vastly different.

Scripted series demand talent from actors, whereas nonscripted programs often hinge more on personality from cast members. And when acting talent is removed from the casting mix, "you have the entire U.S. population to choose from," said Peter Golden, evp of talent and casting at CBS. White, black or otherwise, Golden said finding the right actor for the right role is a much more challenging process. "You're looking for people with the skill to deliver certain characters, and very often with the strength to carry an entire series on their backs," he said...

What exactly are Frutkin and Golden saying? That “ethnic” people don’t have talent, but they do have personality? And how do they explain the almost exclusively white casts on nonscripted shows like The Bachelor and Maui Fever? What a crock.

And then:

...CBS took enormous heat earlier this season for splitting the cast of Survivor: Cook Islands into four ethnic groups: African Americans, Asians, Caucasians and Latinos. But finding contestants to fill each of those teams forced the network's casting department to aggressively recruit within those ethnic communities.

Whether "grabbing people off the street," as Golden said, or advertising on ethnic Web sites, CBS helped establish recruitment policies that likely will be used to funnel diverse casts into other reality programs...

Yeah, CBS took deserved heat for their Separate but Equal Survivor: Race Wars edition last year, which yes, I did already write about. But I still remained shocked at the ineptitude of the people running casting for CBS. The population of Los Angeles is over 44% Latino, and the casting department needed to advertise on "ethnic Web sites" to recruit people? Now I know I have a problem finding black friends, but really. Is it that hard to find brown-skinned camera whores in Hollywood?

Finally, from Racialicious, Where da white women at? Details Magazine plays up on racial stereotypes, a response to the article, Meet the Mandingos, on the Details blog.

Oh dear. And I thought Gay or Asian? was bad.

We Don't Need A New One.

From The Showbiz Show with David Spade, here is Jessi Klein's humorous take on the CW's latest series about "female empowerment" (whatever), Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll.

We don't need another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie either, Weinsteins.

My Kid Will Have My Hair.

At least, my biological kid will. And if she's a girl, how I look forward to the years of painful coiffure ahead of me and her.

My hair was and is the thickest conglomeration of kinky strands I have ever encountered. I bet my present and former hairstylists would say the same thing. The kicker is, I have an extremely sensitive scalp. Combing my hair in its natural state is a horror. And making it easier to comb by chemically straightening it burns my scalp, even if my parts are greased and the relaxer is mild. That's why since my junior year of college, I've kept my hair in braided extensions. I still get it straightened every so often to make it easier when I take the old braids out and get the new ones put it. Now that is a harsh trial. :(

Whenever I think of doing my future kid's hair, I get all worried. Then I think about something else, like teddy bears or ice cream. How am I supposed to do my kid's hair when I can't do my own hair? Then I came across this New York Times article via Racialicious: "I Have Taken On My Daughter's Hair And Won," by Randal C. Archibold. Mr. Archibold writes:

I’ve been doing Lyla’s hair since she has had enough hair to do, receiving my first lessons from my wife and subjecting Lyla to my continued training by my sister, mother-in-law and other female relatives. Combing and brushing and, most important, braiding her hair seemed another way to help out and participate in the joys of having a daughter.

I had never even thought about having my partner do my kid's hair. One, because when I imagine my kids, I've always thought that their hair would just be magically done all the time, without anyone doing it, like on TV. Two, since I haven't married the soon-to-be-lanced Elijah Wood yet, I'm not really confident that I'll be having these kids with a partner.

But after reading this article, now I'm having all these visions of my partner doing my kids' hair. Just like he'll be staying home with said children for their first year, until they go to daycare and preschool, etc. And he'll be happy to do it. I'm aiming high, because why shouldn't my partner take care of our kids? Hello, they're his, too. I'm not going to be the Primary Parent (scroll down for reference) just because I have the vagina. Our kids will know that both of their parents are equally responsible for them and equally capable of raising them.

My favorite part is where Mr. Archibold talks about his inspirations: his cousin's husband Kirk, and Brad Pitt, whose daughter Zahara has helped him empathize with "white people who might be having a little trouble with black-person hair." Mr. Pitt apparently endorsed Carol’s Daughter hair products in last October's issue of Esquire, which got him quoted in the Say What? column of Essence.

On the other side of dealing with a black daughter's hair, I also discovered this article via Racialicious: Black Baby is Born to White Pair.

A Park Avenue fertility clinic's blunder has left a family devastated - after a black baby was born to a Hispanic woman and her white husband, the couple charges in a lawsuit...

...Despite the alleged baby bungle, little Jessica was born healthy.

The Andrews, however, fear that because of the circumstances of her birth "she may be subjected to physical and emotional illness as a result of not being the same race as her parents and siblings," according to their suit.

According to the couple's attorney, Howard Stern (insert joke here), the baby doesn't look like them. Really? Because when I look at that photo and hear, "One of these things is not like the other," the voices in my head are talking about that confused looking white guy on the left.

Furthermore, his wife? Is not white. I don't know what the New York Post is talking about. Then again, do I ever? The woman is clearly a dark shade of Dominican. Even if the baby had been conceived with that man's sperm and that woman's egg, considering the mestizo history of the Dominican Republic, there is a good chance the baby would have come out brown anyway.

If this couple wanted a pure white baby, they should adopt one, or find an acceptable Aryan egg donor. And if after three years, these people still can't get over the fact that their daughter--this woman's biological child--will not "get lighter over time," then those people should give this child to a family who will love and appreciate her, regardless of the "abnormality" that is her dark skin. Angelina is always looking.

"Radical Transparency?" Yeah, okay, Wired.

Insert eye roll here.

It all started as it usually does: I was reading Feministing. This article about the revolting cover of the latest issue of Vanity Fair caught my attention. As I was scrolling through the growing number of comments, I noticed one that suggested I "check out this month's Wired." So I did.

Here is the cover of the April 2007 edition of Wired magazine:

First part.

Second part.

Here is the article, which I did read before writing on anything on this matter: "What We Can Learn From The Office." If you click on the image to enlarge the words, you'll notice that Jenna/Pam has absolutely nothing to say in the article. Michael Scott is quoted extensively, as he is the star of the show. So why isn't Steve Carell posing naked in Wired with random white male hands sticking Post-Its on his body?

I am disappointed. In the same way that I was disappointed by this Vanity Fair cover from last year. Though I did enjoy Salon's astute commentary, "Topless bodies found in brainless magazine," about the issue's twisted compilation of photos. I am also disappointed in the same way whenever I watch almost anything on BET. Have y'all seen College Hill? Eek.

My reaction remains the same to whomever I am disappointed in at the moment: You can do better than this. If you have enough star power to headline a blockbuster movie or a critically-acclaimed hit television show, and you can therefore sell truckloads of magazines because your face is on the cover, YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO BE THE NAKED GIRL! Yes, I AM SHOUTING! I have yet to see a magazine cover with John Krasinski or BJ Novak posing partially nude. And somehow these guys can sell last month's Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair with only their faces and hands left bare. Yet many women of the same caliber are under the impression that they need to take off their clothes to move product.

I'm not saying that Jenna, or Scarlett or Keira for that matter, are bad people because they disrobed for magazine covers. I'm not saying those particular magazines are bad for continually putting semi-clad young women on their covers, while all of their male models are always fully clothed, older, and arguably less attractive. Because that is another post for another time.

I am saying that if you are encouraging others to "Rule the World"--like the placard covering your apparently naked body is ironically telling us to do--you, and your obvious talent, might be taken more seriously if you put your clothes back on.

Still Angry, Retroactively.

The other prisoners, by Luke Harding, The Guardian.
May 24, 2004.

Late [2003], [Amal Kadham Swadi], one of seven female lawyers now representing women detainees in Abu Ghraib, began to piece together a picture of systemic abuse and torture perpetrated by US guards against Iraqi women held in detention without charge. This was not only true of Abu Ghraib, she discovered, but was, as she put it, "happening all across Iraq".

Military Hides Cause of Women Soldiers' Deaths, by Marjorie Cohn, TruthOut.org.
January 30, 2006.

Last week, Col. Janis Karpinski told a panel of judges at the Commission of Inquiry for Crimes against Humanity Committed by the Bush Administration in New York that several women had died of dehydration because they refused to drink liquids late in the day. They were afraid of being assaulted or even raped by male soldiers if they had to use the women's latrine after dark.

The latrine for female soldiers at Camp Victory wasn't located near their barracks, so they had to go outside if they needed to use the bathroom. "There were no lights near any of their facilities, so women were doubly easy targets in the dark of the night," Karpinski told retired US Army Col. David Hackworth in a September 2004 interview. It was there that male soldiers assaulted and raped women soldiers. So the women took matters into their own hands. They didn't drink in the late afternoon so they wouldn't have to urinate at night. They didn't get raped. But some died of dehydration in the desert heat, Karpinski said.

This makes me angry.

The Women’s War, by Sara Corbett, New York Times Magazine.

If the link expires, you can also read the article here, and here, sans pictures.

A summary of the (not-so) shocking points, posted at Feministing:

...Holy shit, one-third of a nationwide sample of female veterans said they experienced rape or attempted rape during their service. Well, of course rape is rampant in a war zone based on humiliation, sexism, and blind submission to authority. (Hell, rape is rampant everywhere.)

Holy shit, female soldiers are more likely to be diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, sometimes at twice the rate of male soldiers. Well, of course women exposed to the “double whammy,” as Patricia Resick calls it, of sexual trauma and exposure to combat are coming home with some serious mental health issues. Though the 160,000 female soldiers that have been deployed in Iraq often are in roles technically classified as “combat-support,” the violence of this war is ubiquitous. (There were just 7,500 females who served in Vietnam and 41,000 who served in the gulf war.)

Holy shit, the Department of Defense isn’t doing anything to support these women: of the 3,038 investigations of military sexual assault charges in 2004 and 2005, only 329 have resulted in a court-martial of the perpetrator.” Well, of course the government isn’t taking responsibility. Just like they’re not taking responsibility for the rampant brain injuries resulting from this new kind of warfare or the civilian casualties or the lies that got us into this war in the first place or the…you get the point...

And an excerpt from the article that resonated with me:

...There appears to have been little, too, in the way of female bonding in the war zone: most reported that they avoided friendships with other women during the deployment, in part because of the fact that there were fewer women to choose from and in part because of the ridicule that came with having a close friend. ''You're one of three things in the military - a bitch, a whore or a dyke,'' says Abbie Pickett, who is 24 and a combat-support specialist with the Wisconsin Army National Guard. ''As a female, you get classified pretty quickly.''

Many women mentioned being the subject of crass jokes told by male soldiers. Some said that they used sarcasm to deflect the attention but that privately the ridicule wore them down. Others described warding off sexual advances again and again. ''They basically assume that because you're a girl in the Army, you're obligated to have sex with them,'' Suzanne Swift told me at one point...

Read the entire article. It's long, but informative. I have my own observations to make about the article, but I'm too tired to post them all now. Though I will say, I sense a pattern of abuse emerging.

New Addition. No, Bobby Brown is not involved.

I am adding a new blog to the Sites I Like: Catherine Avril Morris' Of Course I Write Romance Novels. I've been there almost every day for the past two weeks, and she linked to my blog without my even knowing it. So. Go read it. I find Catherine humorous and endearing.

I still can't bring myself to add irwin's blog to my list, even though I've commented on almost all of his posts from the past two weeks. Maybe I'll get over the squickiness some day.

Look out for another New Addition soon. Lance Mannion may be next.

Having A Wonderfalls Weekend

I have been watching Wonderfalls all day. I woke up this morning and discovered the 13-hour Wonderfalls Windfall marathon on Logo. The theme song's sucky, but I really like the show. It reminded me of Dead Like Me, probably because the same person created both shows. And Heroes, which my friends say I should watch. But I've already missed the first 18 episodes. I didn't want to start watching last year because Milo Ventimiglia is a show-killer. And The Bedford Diaries sucked.

I don't know who the main stars are, but Tracie Thoms of Rent fame is the token black best friend, and Jewel Staite (best known to me from Flash Forward, but others know her from Firefly/Serenity) plays the cute bartender's wife who blew the bellboy on their honeymoon. Ew. That cute bartender needs to move on, no matter how much I like Jewel Staite. She needs to get a good project. The Tribe is not acceptable.

I'm guessing it's on Logo because the sister comes out as a lesbian in the first episode, then dates the UPS guy's ex-wife throughout the rest of the series. Or because the co-creators are both gay. I don't know. I'm just disappointed it doesn't seem to be coming on the Logo schedule again after today. Boo. :(

That is all for now.