Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I haven't gone to the movies since...

...last December. I saw Unaccompanied Minors. Wow. That is sad. Even though the movie was terrible, I still had fun with my friend. And I didn't realize it was The Breakfast Club in an airport with junior high kids until said friend told me. Clueless. Now that was a movie.

What's sadder than my seeing Unaccompanied Minors is the lack of quality fare on the big screen nowadays. Besides the fifth Harry Potter movie, I haven't been anticipating the release of any other movie this year. I wanted to see Maxed Out after I read about it on Pajiba and heard about it on Air America. Of course it disappeared from the two theaters it was playing at in the LA area before I could go see it. I still haven't seen SiCKO, but I will eventually.

The problem for me is two-fold. One, I can tell from the trailers that most of the movies with the heaviest marketing campaigns are going to suck in some way. Not necessarily in every way, but on some level, they are going to bug me. I don't have $8.50+ to spend on things that I actually need, like vegetables. I sure don't have $8.50+ to spend on thing luxuries that are almost guaranteed to disappoint.

Two, there are almost no movies being made with women. Obviously there are almost no movies written by women or directed by women. That's not such a shocker, although it does make me sick. But there are practically no movies starring women. There was A Mighty Heart, which I wasn't going to see anyway, even if it didn't star Angelina Jolie in blackface. There is Evening, which makes me want to have my period, start menopause, and vomit from the schmaltzy boredom all at the same time. The rest of the movies that have come out this year, and will come out this summer, mainly have girls, emphasis on girls, as scantily-clad love interests with no character arcs or personalities of their own.

My annoyance has been building of the past few months. Arguably, it has been building since the mid-90s, when I learned that the top-billed actresses of the time--Demi Moore and Julia Roberts--only made $12 million dollars for their blockbuster movies, compared to the $20 million the Toms--Cruise and Hanks--were pulling for theirs. That's 60 percent. What a rip. There are a multitude of arguments to be made justifying both, either, or neither salary amounts, but that's not the point of my post today. My point is, for the past 24 hours, my annoyance has come to a head, as a result of reading the following articles:

Live Free or Die Hard / Rush Hour 3, by Jenn at reappropriate.

Feminist of the day: Emma Watson, by Jessica at Feministing.

Live Free or Die Hard + Transformers, by Walter Chaw at Film Freak Central.

They're women, directors and few, by Mary F. Pols, San Jose Mercury News

When I was growing up, I used to go to movies all the time. Now I go to practically none. That is due to many factors, including a decrease in both disposable income and disposable time. But there are also less movies coming out. And hardly any involving women, much less women my age, or my color, or with my personality. I know there are women, nay people, out there who are just like me, who want to see more women of many ages, colors, ethnicities and dispositions on their screens. I don't need to see yet another movie with schlubby guys getting (often younger) girls who are way out of their league. I don't care how "real" Dustin thinks these people are.

I will see Hairspray, though. Amanda Bynes is funny. I can almost forgive her for She's the Man. Though there is something disconcerting about seeing a movie that's based on a musical that's based on a movie that's younger than I am. What's next? Legally Blonde: The Remix with Hayden PaneraBread? The Lion Kings with Dylan and Cole Sprouse? La Lohan in The Little Mermaid who's totally sober now kinda?

In sadly humorous news, this made me giggle:

Locks of controversy, by Wesley Morris, The Boston Globe, via Racialicious.

...you probably missed word that Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt, the second of Brad and Angie's four children (she's from Ethiopia), may have received a drastic haircut and that this haircut was deeply upsetting for certain stargazers with Internet access.

"I think they shaved the poor kid's head cause they have no clue in how to style her hair. I think they should get a professional African braider to braid her hair," wrote Sexycocoa in a post to the black gossip site Media Take Out. On the same site, Akan5 wrote, "I DON'T TRUST THESE PEOPLE AT ALL. Why cut her hair. WHY! IN THIS COUNTRY people always let the girls' hair grow." That's a representative sample of what wound up on various message boards late last month, from Take Out to E! Online, and in people's inboxes, including mine...

...With more and more black chat lines demanding to know why one little black girl's hair isn't fuller, thicker, or at least more moisturized, a "Save Zahara" campaign may not be far behind.

Hee hee! Maybe we can stage a benefit concert at the Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson estate.


cubicalgirl said...

I don't go to the movies often either, but then again I'm a lazy pennypincher who would rather watch something from Netflix while laying on my own couch in my undies than actually go out and be near people. I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to movies and I take a special delight in tween crap (The Princess Diaries 1 and 2 are in my Netflix queue). To be fair, my Netflix queue is perpetually at the limit they'll let you have (500 movies, for the record) and I have a backup list for when I work my way down that list. That said, I am totally looking forward to Harry Potter, The Simpsons, Underdog (shut up!), and hopefully in second run while I'm on vacation: Hot Fuzz.

I'm not so sure about the Hairspray remake. I mean, how do you remake John Waters? That movie was great the first time around (and I'm sure the Broadway show was great, too) but...Alec Bladwin, you are no Divine. I feel like Baldwin's going to ruin the whole thing for me. And Amanda Bynes kinda works my nerves.

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bianca Reagan said...

cubical, you should meet stephanie. She like enjoys The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I, on the other hand, appreciate more grown-up fare like South of Nowhere and Degrassi.

I'm not judging your for wanting to see Underdog. Is that going to be a weird mix of computer animation and live action like Garfield? Oh Breckin, what happened to you?

I don't think Alec Baldwin is in Hairspray. But John Travolta is.

Stephanie, Shia turned 21 last month. He's not in your discriminatory age bracket, but he is perfectly legal in the US.

Additionally, I can see hotter boys on my TV screen. What other hotties are on the big screen this summer? Can they beat Kyle Howard and "Brando" on My Boys, Adrien Grenier on Entourage or the men of The 4400 and Psych? I think not.

Bianca Reagan said...

Please excuse the spelling and grammatical errors in the above comment. I'd delete it and rewrite it, but it took so long to type it in the first place. I wish comments could be edited here.

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bianca Reagan said...

stephanie, Matt Cohen is 24. Closer to your cutoff point. But less talented than Shia.