"They're not talking about me . . . right?"

(Reference appears at about 3:40. NSFW, as Michael found out.)

(Cross posted at BlogHer.com.)

I just finished watching Superbad this morning. I rented the movie with the impression that it wouldn't be as bad as I had made it out to be. I thought to myself, Maybe my friends are right. Maybe Superbad was "so funny". Maybe it was really a story about the relationship between two high school boys who are best friends. Maybe the message is actually about "respecting women."

Yeah, no. Not only do I stand behind everything I have ever said about Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, Knocked Up and Superbad, I am now saying that I was being kind. The statement that I made on Feministe about last week's episode of Gossip Girl applies to Superbad as well: it was at best lazy writing and at worst both dangerous and insulting to their audience.

I could go into detail about how my assertions about the movie were correct: almost every female character was depicted as a potential sperm receptacle; every main character was a white male, and almost every supporting character was white; almost every person who speaks in the movie was white. But those realities only served to set up a context for my disgust.

Here is the premise of the movie: two teenage boys hatch a plan to acquire alcoholic beverages so that they can get two girls drunk and have sex with them.

Here is an excerpt from Section 261 of the California Penal code:

261. (a) Rape is an act of sexual intercourse accomplished with a person not the spouse of the perpetrator, under any of the following circumstances:

• (3) Where a person is prevented from resisting by any intoxicating or anesthetic substance, or any controlled substance, and this condition was known, or reasonably should have been known by the accused.

In case you haven't connected those dots yet, in California, where the movie was filmed, if you have sexual intercourse with someone you know is drunk, you can be charged with rape. Also, as I initially learned when I was leading the first-year Summer Orientation program at my university, it does not matter if you are drunk as well. If the person you have sex with is drunk, you can be charged with rape.

Even if that were not the law in California, WTF, dude? How are you going to make a mainstream movie about trying to get girls drunk so you can have sex with them? I don't care how the movie ended. I don't care that the two main characters realize that they love each other. I don't care how funny Seth Rogen thinks he is. I don't even care about the "vag-tastic" porn featured in the first scenes. I don't care that the writers created this script when they were thirteen; they are grown men now: have some perspective, idiots.

The entire time I was watching Superbad, two things were in my head. The first was certain friends of mine, all female, partially or wholly defended this movie after they saw it. These people also make up most of my readership, so, Hello friends! I have also listen to these same people make the following complaints:

• Why can't I get respect from the people in charge who are mostly men?


• Why isn't my female-dominated section of my industry taken seriously?


• Why can't I be accurately represented in the media?


• Why won't anyone hire me even though I'm obviously talented, experienced and eager?


• Why aren't more women feminists?

These same people then called Superbad "hilarious" and "surprisingly sweet", because the movie had "jokes" and the two main characters were nice to their objects of prey in the final scene. However, having Michael Cera's character Evan raising a toast to "respecting women" while he's trying to hook up with a fallen-down drunk Becca was akin to D.W. Griffith inserting a clip of Dr. King's "I Have A Dream" speech in the middle of Birth of a Nation. Both situations are ridiculous, and the latter is anachronistic.

Almost every verbal insult spewed in the movie involved attacking the other person's masculinity by accusing them of not having a penis, being a gay male, being a woman or being a vagina. The loathing of anything female became more palpable as we learned about Bill Hader's character's ex-wife, who was an actual whore when he married her. But it was Jonah Hill's "Seth" who took the cake by openly lusting for his best friend's mother; repeatedly calling Becca "a bitch" because she told their elementary school teacher about his penis drawings; and losing his mind when the adulterous stranger Seth was grinding on menstruated on his leg. The people who created this movie--the directors, the writers and the producers--clearly have a simultaneous hatred, fear and ignorance of women, quite possibly due to their respective painful adolescences. But I repeat: you all are grown men now. Don't just regurgitate your teenage fantasies on to the screen. Reflect on your thoughts and feelings with an adult mindset, then film them.

So to answer your questions, friends, this is part of the reason you are having trouble gaining success and respect. Misogyny is acceptable and encouraged in our media because it's "funny." Just because you personally can deconstruct a highly flawed movie like Superbad in your minds by separating stereotypical images from appropriate behavior in reality, does not mean that the rest of the movie's audience can. They can't even conceive of that notion. For many of the viewers--both men and women, both boys and girls--that movie is reality. To them, all girls dress like prostitutes and therefore should be ogled; girls are always naturally lubricated; girls are stupid enough to believe that a pre-pubescent teenage boy is really a 25-year old Hawaiian man with a singular name more unbelievable than Sting, and will then inexplicably have sex with said boy; girls love to get drunk, strip for you, and offer you "blow-Js"; and, if you fail to get a girl drunk to have sex with her and tell her this, she'll probably still be your girlfriend, even if you have no redeeming qualities.

The second thing I was constantly thinking about was American Pie. Same general premise, with the following notable exceptions:

1. There is no significant impetus to get anyone's sexual partner intoxicated.


2. The female characters do not need a male chaperon during their scenes. They can just talk to each other if they want. They also have distinct personalities and goals.


3. The male characters in American Pie are way better looking than the male characters in Superbad. I mean, really. You can even leave Seann William Scott and Chris Klein out of the equation, and the comparison remains striking.

That ends my Superbad rant for now. Onto Barack Obama.

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The Advocate

To you new readers, welcome! Here's where it started. Here is my first response. Here is my second response.

Please read to the end of this post before you get mad at me. Do not skim it and then accuse me of meaning things that I did not say.

#

Every day I gain a deeper understanding of why there are so few (straight) women in comedy. No wonder I have to turn to Logo for funny female role models. I do enjoy Maria Bamford, Becky Pedigo and Wanda Sykes and Janeane Garofalo whenever I catch them on Comedy Central. But aside from them and a few others, the most prominent female comedians are lesbian, bisexual, or some other kind of queer person. To maintain a career in an already vicious field, women really have to not care what men think of them.

Another thing I appreciate more every day is the common language of TV I share with some of my friends, along with a couple others who don’t have blogs. It’s like those episodes of Will & Grace when the title characters played that word guessing game with Joe and Larry and Rob and Ellen, and Will and Grace won the prized Suck on It cup every time. I take for granted that my friend Chrissy can ask me an incomplete question ("Bangs?"), I can answer it with a single word or phrase ("Nancy McKeon."), and the discussion will be over with both parties completely satisfied. I forget that not everyone else I interact with is necessarily on the same wavelength as I am just because they also blog about TV, or in this case, sexual dynamics in American media.

To get you readers on my wavelength quickly, read the articles linked below, retitled by me. Most of them are examples of what happens when individuals don’t even challenge the patriarchy, but simply point out its existence:

Feministing, Kos, and Harassment of Women Bloggers. Here are some more anecdotes on the subject.

Who should apologize for the apparent racism in Resident Evil 5?

You say potato, I say misogyny, including getting a woman drunk in order to have sex with her.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt

I was never mad that people didn’t share my point of view on Superbad or on the creators of the movie. I wasn’t mad when I made my initial comment under the review on Pajiba. I was amused by my cleverness, because I do like to work a phrase. I was taken aback when one male-identified person used the word "feminist" to insult me, and then insinuated that I wasn’t funny. I was annoyed when another male-identified person told me to "STFU." I was perturbed when another one called me "a complete fucking idiot" and told me to "go and get off [my] soapbox."

I didn’t mind defending myself or my views. I saw it as good practice for when I become a superstar, and people like Chris Matthews and Tucker Carlson will try to double team me on Hardball. I also appreciated that some people stood up for me, pointing out that feminism is not a bad word, and that Pajiba is a perfectly acceptable place to talk about gender relations in movies.

What made me mad--besides being subsequently lectured on misogyny, told that I should "choose [my] words more carefully," and blamed for attracting the trolls in the first place (thank goodness I wasn’t wearing a short skirt)--was that none of the people who run Pajiba said anything at all during the whole time that this vicious conversation was going on. Not one word. And yes, I am going to call them out. The silent staff included Dustin Rowles, Publisher; Seth Freilich, The TV Whore; Phillip Stephens, Lead Critic; John Williams, Critic; Agent Bedhead, Critic; Stacey Nosek, Critic; Ranylt Richildis, Critic; Constance Howes, Critic. Did I forget someone? Oh yes, the Managing Editor of Pajiba and the person who wrote the Superbad review, Daniel Carlson.

In his response to the madness, Dan wrote a post on his own blog: "Arguing On The Internet Is Like Running In The Special Olympics: Even If You Win, You're Still Retarded."

Retarded? Well then.

In said post, Dan wrote "the Pajiba staff has a bit of a feminist skew — we all loves us some Joss Whedon, after all." Huh. TK also mentioned later that he supposes that he’s a feminist himself. I could make a quippy remark here, but I won’t. "Feminist" isn’t something you simply declare yourself because you believe that people of all genders should have equal rights. Feminism does not begin and end with denouncing Captivity. Feminism also involves some sort of action, or at least reaction, on your part. I’m not asking anyone to march in front of Planned Parenthood or headline the next NOW convention. I’m saying that a feminist should not remain silent when someone is being attacked for being a feminist. Especially on the blog that you run. Especially when you wrote the review . . . and anticipated the result:

"But I also must confess that I knew exactly what I was doing when I wrote that in the movie, "no woman is seen onscreen who isn’t talking to a man." I knew that would piss certain people off, and what's more, I've been writing for Pajiba for so long that I had a pretty good idea of exactly who would be pissed off, or anyway I had it narrowed down to half a dozen likely candidates."

After his confession, Dan then deemed the entire Superbad discussion--that he knowingly and purposefully incited--a "pissing contest" and that those involved should just "let it go." I’m sure the trolls that attacked me let it go a long time ago. They got their jollies by insulting an opinionated woman, then they went back to their lives, secure in their privileged status as part of the patriarchy. I, on the other hand, was not arguing for kicks. Nor was I incensed because Superbad "violates [my] views of empowered womanhood." I was defending myself because I was attacked. I was targeted not just because I am a feminist, but because I am a feminist woman. Dan, TK, and many other men are feminists, too, and that’s great. (I hope you all are still reading.) But they are not women. At the end of the day, they will always have their male privilege to fall back on. Similarly, I’m an advocate for the LGBT community, but I never purport to fully know what it’s like to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans. I can sympathize, and sometimes empathize, but at the end of the day, I will still have my heterosexual privilege in our society. Therefore, if someone in the LGBT community said they were discriminated against or attacked or hated for their sexuality, I would think long and hard (dirty!) before I challenged their claim.

Someone once said something like, "To be black in America is to be angry all the time." (If one of you readers knows the quote, please let me know.) Gloria Steinem has been quoted as saying, "In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist." Try being black and a woman. You get very attuned to when and why people don’t like you or what you have to say. Imagine if I were queer, too: I’d have even more to say.

My point is this: why didn’t any of you on the Pajiba staff stand up for me? I’m not some obnoxious stranger; I’ve been a regular reader of yours for over a year now. Why didn’t you read what I was saying and realize that I wasn’t just arguing for argument’s sake? Why did you assume that my part in the "stupid, bickering, masturbatory bitchfest" was equivalent to the spiteful comments of those who told me to go away because I wasn’t born male and therefore my perspective was not relevant? Why was there no attempt made to moderate the discussion? I know I wasn’t the only one who felt strongly about how I was being treated. I also know that there are other girls and women who saw what happened to me and will come to the conclusion that Pajiba is a place where they should be careful about voicing their opinions: because there is a good chance they too will be harassed if they do. These questions are not rhetorical; I encourage any and all of you to leave a response.

I risked something by defending myself and my views on the Superbad comment thread. But I risk even more by writing this post. I risk alienating myself from the entire staff of Pajiba, and their Pajiba Love posse, people whose blogs I read on a regular basis and often enjoy, people whom I want to like me and my writing. I risk sounding like just another angry feminist who can’t take a joke or appreciate yet another R-rated comedy made for white heterosexual teenage males. I risk being ostracized from a community—a community that, considering my media background, I have every right to be a part of—because I spoke up for myself and I didn’t back down.

I could remain silent. I could pretend that I’m not upset about what happened and that it’s okay that no one who runs the blog came to my defense. I could choose to stop reading Pajiba and Slowly Going Bald and all the rest. That’s what usually happens when women get attacked. They get blamed for their own victimization, leave the site of the incident, then they try to pretend it never happened. The attackers go on living their lives, sans punishment, and even get rewarded by their victim’s silence, which is what the attackers wanted in the first place. And the people who said nothing are glad the drama is over.

However, I’m not going to shut up. I’m not going to go away. I’m going to see what happens next.

Thanks for reading!

I saw it.

The Social Network was no Superbad, but Stephen Colbert was correct. Almost every girl and woman in the movie was unnecessarily objectified for the purpose of satisfying some fantasy, fantasies that stemmed from both the male characters in the movie and from the male creators of the movie. Even the characters played by Rooney Mara and Rashida Jones existed in the story on some level because the Mark Zuckerberg character was sexually attracted to them. Two of the last scenes in the movie involved Mark asking Rashida's character out to dinner, followed by Mark obsessing over the Facebook page of Rooney's character.

Both the presentation of and the critical acclaim for The Social Network depress me. It's a perfect storm of straight white male privilege packaged by a writer and a director who were both trying a little too hard. The movie's current 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes doesn't surprise me, considering that most film reviewers are nerdy white guys whose nerdy wet dreams were fulfilled by seeing their self-projections on screen, as portrayed by the likes of Andrew Garfield and panty-chasing Justin Timberlake (?!). (Jesse Eisenberg is talented, but the real Mark Zuckerberg did get cheated aesthetically on the casting.) There are no movies this year or last year or scheduled for next year that would either be a female equivalent of The Social Network, that have a solid female cast, or that even pass the Bechdel test. This exclusive, incestuous system takes a property from the male-dominated field of nonfiction--a story about the male-dominated field of technology--then has the story adapted through the male-dominated fields of screenwriting and directing; this system does not encourage or leave much room for women to succeed.

The scene that summed up the movie for was when Mark was handing out assignments to his friends so that he could to expand the website to additional schools throughout the country. When Brenda Song's character, who was eager to help, asked what she and her female friend could do, Mark simply replied, "Nothing."

With all that said, I advise you readers to go see The Social Network (tickets are still available!), and report back to me. I welcome your thoughts. Please leave comments! :)

Edit 10/13/2010:

1. In the words of Joan from the episode of Mad Men, "The Summer Man", "No matter how powerful we get around here, they can just draw another cartoon." In this case, no matter how hard you have worked to get into Harvard or Stanford, they can just make another movie, portraying you and all of your female colleagues as useless, drunken, coked-up whores. You would think that attending an Ivy League university would spare you as a woman from getting painted with the skank brush on the silver screen, but no. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a Sorkin/Fincher movie coming out next year about the girls gone wild in the House of Representatives.

2. I didn't fully address Brenda Song's character, but someone else did:

Brenda Song’s Crazed, Hypersexualized Asian Female Stereotype in The Social Network, (Updated), by Jenn, Racialicious.

3. Joseph Mazzello is still working. And he has a college degree? Good for him!

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Coming Soon

Will Hollywood ever make a 'Virginity Hit' about teenage girls? by Karen Valby, EW.com.

The low-budget, everyboy comedy The Virginity Hit, about a group of high school horndogs trying to help their buddy lose his virginity, hit select theaters this weekend. (In my hometown Austin, it was playing at just one megaplex at 9:30.) The Will Ferrell/Adam McKay-produced dweebathon is the latest installment to the canon of films about sweaty white boys on a quest to get laid. American Pie, Porky’s, Weird Science, Superbad, Sixteen Candles… The list is long, stuffed with awkward boys and uncomfortable erections and frantic high fives. As in the case of The Virginity Hit, there are always a bevy of unusually attractive girls on the story’s margins. The titular virgin in The Virginity Hit, unknown Matt Bennett, is the recognizably awkward center of his circle of harmless dips*#t friends. Of course his girlfriend is smoking hot, as are all the other girls who inexplicably hang around this pimply crew. In one ridiculous scene the girls don bikinis and smush their boobs against windows at a car wash fundraiser to get porn star Sunny Leone to sleep with Matt. Such generous, comely friends. Come on girls! Don’t you have soccer practice or something? Raise funds for your junior year abroad instead! Male screenwriters are marvelous revisionist thinkers.

So here’s some questions I asked myself in between scenes of bong hits and frat parties. Can anyone out there imagine a similar movie in which a crew of good-natured, dumpy girls obsess unapologetically about sex? Where the object of their desire is not some princess fantasy of first kiss or a prom date or a wedding ring—but rather the uncomplicated thrill of experience.

[ . . . ]

Would you want to see a similar movie like this for high school or college girls?

Yes I would. In fact, I would write that movie. Getting it made would be another story.

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A Separate Peace

I recently had a conversation with someone about coming-of-age novels, like the above mentioned book by John Knowles. I expressed to him that during middle school and upper school, I was required to read my fill of said novels, which, I lamented, were almost always about boys. Specifically, white, American or British, heterosexual boys. He innocently replied that coming-of-age novels have universal stories about growing up, implying that these stories should be relatable to anyone who reads them.

Oh really?

What I wanted to do then was give him a two to five-minute presentation on white heterosexual male privilege, including references to the exclusively-male cast of Lord of the Flies, the misogyny present in The Chocolate War and in its sequel, and everything Superbad, along with an appendix on contemporary gender studies and Reviving Ophelia.

What I did was say, "Hmm."

Why didn't I say something more scathing, or at least more verbose? In the words of Avril Lavigne, he was a boy, I was a girl; can I make it anymore obvious? I wanted to be likeable, instead of being my usual "too much".

Additionally, a month ago I had a conversation with an entirely different gentleman about an entirely different subject. Specifically, this second person thought that it had been an unwise move for a certain Fortune 500 company to purchase a certain television network. I disagreed, stating that it was a overdue power move that the company needed to make to control distribution. He then said that I was picking on him. I said that I was sharing my opinion. Later, another gentleman applauded my words . . . by saying that he was glad that I had been "combative".

:(

I know none of those gentlemen was trying to confuzzle me or hurt my feelings. Yet as a black woman, I walk this tightrope of misconceptions and expectations from all sides that few people I know can understand. This balancing act fosters personal fear, doubt and anxiety.

Today I spent my part of my afternoon listening to a panel about being a multiple minority, or more precisely, about being in multiple oppressed groups. For instance, being a black lady like myself. Or being a gay Filipino individual like Alec Mapa or the animated Rick Brocka. The message to take away from the panelists was a positive one: let other people get to know you as a person, and they will stop seeing you a simply a minority. Just be the best you that you can be. No, my mother was not on the panel.

That sentiment is easy to say and difficult to practice. It also doesn't provide you with any solace when you know that expressing an opinion can get you labeled as angry witch. Whereas that same opinion expressed by a (paler) gentleman gets him labeled as an assertive leader. The sentiment "it is was it is" does not make you feel any less isolated when you experience a situations that no one you know is going through because you are literally the only one currently going through it at the moment.

This why I watched Girlfriends before it was canceled. This is why I listen to Frangela on the radio (when they are not preempted by sports) and why I ask that they write a book about their career. This is why I want the new Wanda Sykes talk show on Fox to succeed. I need role models. There are events and issues and humor and pain that are specific to being an overeducated black woman in business, in comedy (Hey, I think I'm funny), in life that other people don't completely get. It helps to know that someone else has been there before, or is still there now.

You know what would help? More coming-of-age stories about girls. It would be a start.

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And I'm not sorry.

You know what I love? When some guy tries to school me on the definition of misogyny. (Scroll down to the bottom for the reference.) Because he would know better than me. Despite the fact that I have been doing significant research on women studies, gender studies, and sexual orientation since I was fourteen years old, I'm sure he has the vast knowledge and depth of experience to tell me what is and what is not misogyny, at the very moment I have become the victim of it.

I will comment on all of that craziness, and on Dan's . . . response later. For now, since is the almost end of August, I am going a two week blog vacation. Everybody else is doing it, so why can't we? I'll be back on Labor Day with some choice words for some choice people. I will still be able to see the comments on this blog through my email, so feel free to leave some witty musings.

To anyone to voiced their support for me on the Superbad comment thread: Thank you. I really appreciate it. I often have to defend my views and even my very existence all by myself. It's wonderful when I have help from people who understand where I'm coming from, even if they don't necessarily agree with me.

Until September, I leave you with the abridged lyrics to Madonna's "Human Nature." I usually hate to quote song lyrics to express my emotions, because I think it's silly and overdone. However, this ditty fits the situation perfectly:

Express yourself, don't repress yourself

And I'm not sorry
It's human nature
And I'm not sorry
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me

You wouldn't let me say the words I longed to say
You didn't want to see life through my eyes
You tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
And silence me with bitterness and lies

Did I say something wrong?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I stay too long?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't speak my mind
[What was I thinking]

You punished me for telling you my fantasies
I'm breakin' all the rules I didn't make
You took my words and made a trap for silly fools
You held me down and tried to make me break

Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
[I musta been crazy]
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you
[What was I thinking]

And I’m not sorry
[I'm not apologizing]
It’s human nature
[Would it sound better if I were a man?]
And I’m not sorry
[You're the one with the problem]
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
[Why don't you just deal with it]

And I’m not sorry
[Would you like me better if I was?]
It’s human nature
[We all feel the same way]
And I’m not sorry
[I have no regrets]
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
[Just look in the mirror]

And I’m not sorry
[I don't have to justify anything]
It’s human nature
[I'm just like you]
And I’m not sorry
[Why should I be?]
I’m not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
[Deal with it]

For some more heated Apatow debate,

visit Pajiba, read Morals and Ethics and Carnal Forbearance, Dan's review of Superbad, then enjoy the comments that follow. The drama started when I read the review, then posted this statement:

...teen comedies, even ones written by men as smart and talented as Rogen.

Ha ha ha! That was a joke, right?

In addition to shoving the girls into short-shorts and not letting them say much -- no woman is seen onscreen who isn't talking to a man...

I am sooo not seeing this movie. Furthermore, I still can't understand why seemingly intelligent people will watch this movie, acknowledge that every woman on the screen is portrayed solely as a potential sperm receptacle, then declare the writer of said movie "smart and talented." It doesn't take that much "talent" to essentially remake American Pie.

Then came this comment from "Johnny":

Hey Bianca, if you're trying to reinforce the stereotype that feminists don't have a sense of humor, it's working.

Oh, you know it was on now. After I replied to Johnny's ejaculation, I was then told by "Allen" to "STFU" because I obviously "haven't been a teenage boy" and I "don't have a sense of humor or perspective."

Really?

Then "dave" informed me that I was "a complete fucking idiot" and that I should "get off [my] soapbox please."

Well, he did say please.

People like my Mummy would have told me, "Bianca, pick your battles," or, "ignore those fools; they don't deserve a response." This is an excellent example of why there are "so few women on digg." If I voice my reaction to a movie marketed as inherently sexist (and passively discriminatory towards nonwhite people as well), I am told by certain hateful males that I am a humorless feminist who needs to shut up, because I wasn't born with the right genitalia and therefore my opinion is not valid. If I say nothing, my silence is acceptance: the film's co-writer Seth Rogen is indeed "smart and talented," despite the fact that he excels at casting a female lead "simply because she’s 23 and looks good in just a bra and has no qualms about portraying [an] interchangeable female archetype" Faced with this dilemma, what's a good feminist to do?

This feminist decided to stay and fight. And by fight, I mean I responded both politely and effectively to the trolls, using my wit and charm to get my points across. Subsequently, I was met with some hostility, but I also got some good support, even from people who initially disagreed with me.

I'm tired of backing down online when I'm right. I did it once before a few years ago when the moderator of a certain unrelated forum twisted my words, inserted his own, and insisted that I was calling him a racist. Because to him, it was worse for me to call him a racist, than it was for him to espouse discriminatory beliefs towards certain nonwhite people. I chose to leave that forum because it was no longer beneficial for me to be there. I didn't regret that decision at the time, and I don't regret that decision now.

However, I'm not going to stop reading or commenting on Pajiba because some ignorant guys aren't ready for this jelly. They need to get ready. They don't need to call my words "insulting and immature," then suggest that I "fuck off." They need to step up and bring something to the plate. And if they can't? Then they need to step off.

Separate But Equal

After watching most of the Visible Vote 08: A Presidential Forum on Logo last night, I have now chosen my candidate: Dennis Kucinich. I don't care that some say he looks like "a cross between a hobbit and mole" and that he's "soooo left that he’ll never get nominated." He is indeed "idealistic and amazing," which is more than I can say for the other candidates, aside from Mike Gravel. They had the gall to show up to the LGBT forum, tried to convince the room that civil unions were just as good as straight marriages, and then got defensive when the queer moderators challenged their bigoted beliefs. Senator Obama had the nerve to bring up his miscegenating parents as proof of his understanding of fighting for equality, then got all mad when Jonathan Capehart from the Washington Post asked him, "how can you run as a candidate of change when your stance is decidedly old-school?" I haven't watched the Hillary part yet, so I can't comment on her.

So far, here is my second favorite part of the forum, 18 minutes of love and hope:

Kucinich at HRC Logo Dem Forum



Did you hear what he had to say about health care? Yep, that's right. Coverage for all.

My first favorite part of the Logo special? The gratuitous shots of NPH in the audience. This week I've been watching Season One of Doogie Howser, M.D., courtesy of N.S.B. If I had watched the show when in first came out in 1989, I would have been so in love with Neil Patrick Harris. The only thing stopping me from watching his latest series, How I Met Your Mother, is . . . the rest of the show. I don't need anymore white male focused heteronormative fantasy shoved down my throat. Hence, I will not be seeing Superbad (shocker!) no matter how much Dustin and Dan will probably love it and anything else Apatow pulls out of his tuchis, and no matter how cute Michael Cera totally is.

I did like NPH in Stark Raving Mad, though. What, you don't remember that NBC show with the former child star all grown up and doing something wacky? With his lookalike brothers?

Polar bears are back in season!

Note to Judd Apatow: That's how you do tubby, scruffy guys. Not all of them have to be women-hating, socially retarded ne'er-do-wells. For additional reference, I suggest you observe Kevin Smith. Not necessarily his movies, but more his guest appearances on Degrassi.

Cliff is the best! He is now my favorite part of Ugly Betty As I told Stephanie earlier this week, you'd think I'd stay away from (polar) bears after Knocked Up, Superbad and the Daniel from Pajiba crazy situation. But apparently, I have some depth, and I can see past the pale, round, furry facade. Polar bears are back in season! There really need to be some more cute round guys of various colors on TV so I can make my brown bear/black bear/panda bear jokes.

Second runner-up: Gio.

See, Gio is about something. He has an entrepreneurial spirit. In less than a season, he created his own sandwich shop. Plus, there's this:

It's over between me and Mr. Grubstick, since he is going to Tuscon in five months to be with his baby mama. There is so much wrong with that sentence. Maybe Kenny can mop up my tears.

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