"I think the world would be better off if I stopped doing interviews."

WARNING: Graphic words ahead. May not be suitable for children or for sensitive readers (like me).

There are times when I think to myself, "Am I being the best Bianca I can be? If I just work a little harder, maybe people would see how great I am, and things will turn out okay."

Then comes the John Mayer interview, and I no longer feel there would be a payoff from my working any harder at all.

When I first read about John's apology, which was featured on Yahoo's front page, I was confused. I don't keep up with the regular day-to-day nonsense of John Mayer, from his mockings of paparazzi to his incessant tweets. I'm not even sure when his last album came out, or if anyone would care about him if he hadn't done two famous blond ladies. So I had no idea what John was apologizing for, or why it was headline news.

Tonight while I was watching The Soup, I read John Mayer's entire March 2010 Playboy article. None of it is flattering to John, but here is the excerpt that made my skin crawl:

MAYER: I grew up in my own head. As soon as I lose that control, once I have to deal with someone else’s desires, I cut and run. I’m pretty culpable about being hard to live with. I have had a good run of imagining things into reality. I’ve got a huge streak of successes based on my own inventions. If you tell me I’m wrong or that I’m overthinking something, well, overthinking has given me everything in my career. I have a hard time not looking at anxiety disorder as being like an ATM. I can invent things really well. I mean, I have unbelievable orgasms alone. They’re always the best. They always end the way I want them to end. And I have such an ability to make believe, I can almost project something onto my wall, watch it and get off to it: sexually, musically, it doesn’t matter. When I meet somebody, I’m in a situation in which I can’t run it because another person is involved. That means letting someone else talk, not waiting for them to remind you of something interesting you had in mind.

PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?

MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32. This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.

PLAYBOY: You’d rather jerk off to an ex-girlfriend than meet someone new?

MAYER: Yeah. What that explains is that I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery. The best days of my life are when I’ve dreamed about a sexual encounter with someone I’ve already been with. When that happens, I cannot lay off myself.

Okay, so that wasn't the statement he apologized for. It was still creepy, though. Dude has is-sues!

Here comes the super skin-crawly part:

PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

Oh, really? Am I the only one who missed the throngs of black John Mayer fans? He's not freaking Justin Timberlake. By looking at his fans, sadly John is more akin to Hootie.

The oversharing continues:

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

And which black dude's struggle would that be? Malcolm X's? Medgar Evers's? Michael Vick's?

The best is yet to come:

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Yeesh.

For the record, I have never thrown myself at John Mayer. I have never loved John Mayer. I don't love John Mayer now. And unless he saves some babies from a burning ship, I doubt I will ever love John Mayer in the future.

The twisted, yet honorable, part of the whole debacle is that he was telling the truth. And I know from personal experience that he is not the only guy--regardless of color or fame or nationality--who feels that way. Hence, the skin crawling, the resentment, and the heartache. But mostly, this reinforces the persistent sick feeling in my stomach when I encounter people who deny the privilege that they have, simply by being born into the right demographic.

Finally, a quote from a commenter on the thread following the article, "When Racefail Meets Playboy: The John Mayer Interview," by AJ Plaid, Racialicious:

"The bitch of it is Mayer’s comment is–yet again–another pop-culture 'confirmation' that Black women are undateable, which translates to utterly undesireable and unfuckable."

And the world goes to great pains to make sure black women never ever forget it.

Happy Black History Month!

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"He's not just Rosa Parks or Gandhi . . ."

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"He is Jesus. Think about it. He lives in the desert, gives of his body, and hangs out with prostitutes."

Stephen bringing the funny. :)

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"Friendship is born at that moment"

"when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'"

— C.S. Lewis

Thanks, latest US episode of Being Erica!

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Musings from a Black Woman: Classy People on VH1

I can't find a video clip of the VH1 commercial in which Fantasia, Pepa, Kittie, and Jacque talk about black women. So I have transcribed what they said below:

Fantasia: How would I personally describe the modern black woman?

Pepa: Strong.

Kittie: Determined? Resourceful?

Pepa: Getting an education. Not taking no for an answer.

Fantasia: Independent. Confident.

Pepa: Women today, like the Oprahs and Michelle Obama, are, you know, living example
of that.

Kittie: I don't need a big S on my chest. But I would like to be acknowledged.

Jacque: Amazingly resilient.

Fantasia: Yeah. That's our black woman of today.

Why the baby picture? Because who doesn't love a happy baby? I hope she grows up to be a happy black woman.

~

Now for some not so classy people on VH1:

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Happy Black History Month!

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Daria DVD Excitement!

Daria - Here It Is, MTV's Release Date (and Extras) for Daria on DVD!, by David Lambert, TVShowsonDVD.com.

Since last summer we've known that MTV and Paramount Home Entertainment is preparing a 2010 DVD release for the animated series Daria, the 1997 spin-off of Beavis and Butt-head. This morning Paramount has officially announced the title, giving us a release date of:

May 11, 2010

Daria - The Complete Animated Series on DVD will, according to the studio, contain "ALL FIVE SEASONS PLUS BOTH MOVIES!" The running time is 1606 minutes (almost 27 hours!), and video is listed as full screen.

Yippee!

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"Who's that?"

McDonalds - LeBron & Dwight Howard @ Yahoo! Video

"I have no idea."

Ha!

~

Next, haven't these guys heard of the "Death of Auto-Tune"?

Bud Light - Voice Box @ Yahoo! Video

~

Third, Ed Begley, Jr.:

Census @ Yahoo! Video

"When do we let them know? When does that happen?"

"Absolutely."

I could done without the "mmhmm" from the otherwise silent black lady. :(

~

Fourth, VW:

VW - PunchDub @ Yahoo! Video

See, it's funny, because he's blind.

~

Fifth, Intel:

Intel @ Yahoo! Video

That robot needs a hug. But why does he have an orange?

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Hooray for Scott Fujita!

Boo for Cosmo.

Here are the two articles I am referring to that I liked today:

Reasons to Love Scott, by Irin, Jezebel via Feministe.

1) He diplomatically but firmly opposed the message of the Tebow ad, which will air during the Super Bowl Fujita is playing in Sunday. "The idea of focusing on the family - who wouldn't agree with that?" he told The New York Times. "But the means of doing so, he and I might not see eye to eye all the way." Fujita was adopted, and his biological mother was a teenager when he was born. "I'm just so thankful she had the courage and the support system to be able to carry out the pregnancy," Fujita said. "I wouldn't expect that of everybody."

2) He lent his name to the National Equality March and has been outspoken about gay rights issues.

3) He supports an orphanage in New Orleans and started speaking out on gay rights in part because of his objection to laws limiting gay adoption. "What [such laws] are really saying is that the concern with one's sexual orientation or one's sexual preference outweighs what's really important, and that's finding safe homes for children," he has said. "It's also saying that we'd rather have kids bounce around from foster home to foster home throughout the course of their childhood, than end up in a permanent home."

Warning: The Cosmo Flirting Guide Might Turn You Into A Total Lunatic, by hortense, Jezebel.

An article titled "50 Ways To Become A Legendary Flirt" presents itself as a guide to getting what you want by flirting your way into the hearts and minds of others . . . Let's take a look at the most insane flirting suggestions, shall we?

[ . . . ]

17. Get the indie music guy hanging near the jukebox to help you pick out a song.

LOL what? Where is this mythical place where the "indie music guy" hangs out near the jukebox? The Max? The Peach Pit? The Peach Pit After Dark?

22. Hit up a sports bar and ask the guy sitting beside you what his favorite team is so you'll "know who to root for."

Oh, this is so sad! And so transparent! Doing this will just make you look stupid and desperate and pathetic. Especially if his favorite team is the Yankees and then you have to act like you like them for a few hours. So sad!

[ . . . ]

Here's the problem with the majority of these tips (aside from their ridiculousness): they rely on a woman dumbing herself down in order to appeal to some dude or to get what she wants. To get your coffee fast, you need to moan like an idiot, to try to meet guys, you need to ask them what they like so you can mold yourself around their idea of the perfect woman, and to impress your family members, apparently, you need to make vaguely incestuous comments.

For all the "fun, fearless" talk Cosmo pushes, its articles often revert to the notion that a woman has to play it safe and stupid to get ahead in the world, using her boobs over her brains and discarding all self-awareness in an attempt to appear "sexy" and "daring." The results are often a display of idiocy and transparent attempts to be what she believes other people expect her to be: the Cosmo girl has to try to flirt her way into the hearts of others with her underwear tied in her hair because she doesn't know how to just stand up, be herself, own her sexuality, and say what she means. There's a difference between being a flirt and being completely insane. Someday, Cosmo might figure it out.

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"It's a difficult time to be a man in America."

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Especially a man who gets to be a published author and appear on an Emmy-awarding winning, critically-acclaimed talk show to spout his nonsense, er, talk about his feelings. Or men who have finally found a safe place to gather, since men's group have been "socially unacceptable" for so long.

Wait, what's that? Men's groups have never been socially unacceptable? In fact, they have highly rewarded and lauded throughout all aspects of American and world cultures? Oh, okay. Thank you for the clarification.

Dr. Warren Farrell: "Men today are probably where women were in the late 50s. We're about a half-century behind women in terms of being understood, in terms of having options."

Samantha Bee: "He's right. Men run just 485 of our Fortune 500 companies, and only three branches of government. And there are more doors closing on them all the time."

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Thanks for the shout out, Stephen!

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Happy Black History Month to you, too.

.

I need some Dr. Tom in my life:

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Where can I find a practicing physician who moonlights as a chef and wants to prepare me a four-course meal in my home? Though he could leave out the watermelon salad, especially during Black History Month. :|


Being Erica's Dr. Tom is cool, too, but I doubt he would feed me chocolate:




.

"Oh, Ann,"

"I always forget because you’re so pretty you’re not used to rejection."

Hee hee. I have found that quote to be true in many of my encounters with other people, regardless of the other person's gender.

Here is another gem from the Parks and Recreation "Hunting Trip" episode:

"Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love."

Truer words were never spoken. As if. :)

Finally, below you can find a transcript of my favorite part of the episode, courtesy of at TV Squad:

"I got that tunnel vision that girls get."

"I let my emotions get the best of me."

"I cared too much, I guess."

"I was thinking with my ladyparts."

"I was walking and it felt icky."

"I thought there was gonna be chocolate."

"I don't even remember!"

"I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off."

"All I wanna do is have babies!"

"I'm just going through a thing right now."

"I guess when my life is incomplete, I wanna just shoot someone."

"This would not happen if I had a penis!"

"Bitches be crazy."

"I'm good at tolerating pain; I'm bad at math, and... I'm stupid."

.

"If you hate your naturally shaped skull,"

"just Snook It!"

No, thank you.

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Not Ugly Betty! Nooo!

Ugly Betty cancelled in US, BBC News.

Award-winning TV comedy Ugly Betty has been axed in the US after four series, TV network ABC has announced.

The show, starring America Ferrera as a style-challenged woman working at a New York fashion magazine, was a critical success when it began in 2006.

But the show has struggled recently, with ratings in the US falling from an average 8.1m to 5.3m viewers between the third and fourth series.

ABC said the show will conclude its run in April.

"We've mutually come to the difficult decision to make this Ugly Betty's final season," executive producer Silvio Horta and ABC president Steve McPherson said in a joint statement.

"We are announcing now as we want to allow the show ample time to write a satisfying conclusion."

Mutually? No one asked me! And I am not satisfied with this conclusion. :(

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"It's AT&T, not AT & Steve."

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Also, watch John Oliver's NY Stand-up Show. It's funny!

Jokes.com
Fabrice Fabrice - Joe Jackson
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

"You know who likes fried chicken is black people. You know who else likes fried chicken? Everybody!"

And John Oliver does look like "a big Harry Potter wizard"! But that is not the only British reference I have. Bangers and mash. Toad in hole. Spot on. Tally ho. Bob's your uncle. Taking the mickey. Posh Spice. To the Queen!

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Identifying with and inspired by Conan O'Brien

As you readers may know, I like to compare myself to a young, up-and-coming comedian, especially when I face difficulties in my life. It helps me feel better and make sense of things. Often that comedian Kathy Griffin. Though recently it was Patton Oswalt. During this short period of disappointment for me, my comedian is Conan O'Brien:

" . . . despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian...every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and for seven months, I got to do it. And I did it my way with people I love. I do not regret one second of anything that we've done here.

[ . . . ]

"And all I ask is one thing, and this is, I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. Amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true."

I do not regret anything I did, said, or felt. I am so proud of myself, of the actions I took, and of the courage I continue to have.

I don't hate cynicism. I think it can be healthy in manageable doses. I truly never expected to be here, being so open and honest with myself and with others. I have been working really hard for my entire life, and I do believe amazing things will happen for me. Yet, even though I am continuing my search and I am wholeheartedly driven to do so, I don't have confidence that I will find what I am looking for. I doubt that I will ever "host The Tonight Show", not even for seven months.

I wish more people were honest about the myth of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, or taking lemons and making lemonade. Some people aren't even given boots or lemons, but somehow they are pulling and standing and trying their hardest to make juice. Though the truth is, you could work really hard and do everything right, but there is a great possibility that you will fail over and over again. And you get tired. And every time, the protective shell that you had peeled off to trust and let people in just grows back tougher and more impenetrable.

Er, but keep trying, readers. Believe in the stars! :)

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I do deserve good health care!

via ill doctrine.

I don't want my tax dollars spent on Guantanamo Bay.

Readers, what about you?

.

Whatever happened to

Justin Shenkarow? The kid from Eerie, Indiana and Picket Fences?

To my surprise and delight, he is going to be featured on current favorite show on Bravo, The Millionaire Matchmaker, next Tuesday at 10/9 Central. Excitement!

If only we could discover whatever happened to Austin O'Brien.

.

Watch out, rich old people!

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One of the worst ideas Congress has ever passed, and that's saying something. I would like to know which Senators and Representatives have been planning for their the demise of their wealthy relatives in 2010.

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Musings from a Black Woman: Life Lessons

I often encounter people who ask me for advice. Some of these people are friends, and many are strangers (or, friends you haven't met yet). Usually my suggestions are context-based and tailored to the other person's personality and objectives.

However, readers, I have two statements that can be applied to most areas of your life. The first comes from an episode of Sex and the City after Miranda learns that she is pregnant with Steve's baby. The second comes from my own life experience with those who have not yet gotten the help they need:

1. Wear a condom.

2. Don't agitate the crazy.

If any of you readers would like advice, or you have advice to share, please leave a comment!

.

"Going to Detroit to start a better life.''

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"You know what, Intelligence community? Meet me at Camera 3. All right. I know you guys are busy. Those 300 million Americans can't wiretap themselves."

Jon, telling it like it is.

.

"Pay your way, and your homegirl's way . . . "

" . . . and sometimes your baby daddy's way!"

Oh, Tracy. The hilarity. I was watching his One Mic special on Comedy Central today, and that song was quite the finale.

For those of you who aren't getting the whole funny, you should watch Erykah Badu sing "Tyrone" below:

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The Transformation of Jake Sully into Braveheart Smurf

The good-white-guy/saviour trope reproduces the very racisim [sic] that it supposedly aims to ‘critique’ and in my view at least, it’s clumsy, painfully bad story-telling that attempts to keep an incredibly boring, repetitive trope alive.

- Westerly

I'm also tired of the old white-guy-going native-to-act-as-savior trope which I believe started with the telling of TE Lawrence's story by Hollywood. I don't care about how one of the "oppressors" feels about his and his people's actions. I want to see how the "natives" feel about having their land and way of life encroached upon by outsiders.

- RCHOUDH

Yes, I saw Avatar. No, I was not impressed. Although, I was not disappointed, since it was pretty much what I expected, especially from a director who had the following exchange with Playboy:

PLAYBOY: We seem to need fantasy icons like Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, despite knowing they mess with our heads.
CAMERON: Most of men's problems with women probably have to do with realizing women are real and most of them don't look or act like Vampirella. A big recalibration happens when we're forced to deal with real women, and there's a certain geek population that would much rather deal with fantasy women than real women. Let's face it: Real women are complicated. You can try your whole life and not understand them.

PLAYBOY: How much did you get into calibrating your movie heroine's hotness?
CAMERON: Right from the beginning I said, "She's got to have tits," even though that makes no sense because her race, the Na'vi, aren't placental mammals. I designed her costumes based on a taparrabo, a loincloth thing worn by Mayan Indians. We go to another planet in this movie, so it would be stupid if she ran around in a Brazilian thong or a fur bikini like Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.

PLAYBOY: Are her breasts on view?
CAMERON: I came up with this free-floating, lion's-mane-like array of feathers, and we strategically lit and angled shots to not draw attention to her breasts, but they're right there. The animation uses a physics-based sim that takes into consideration gravity, air movement and the momentum of her hair, her top. We had a shot in which Neytiri falls into a specific position, and because she is lit by orange firelight, it lights up the nipples. That was good, except we're going for a PG-13 rating, so we wound up having to fix it. We'll have to put it on the special edition DVD; it will be a collector's item. A Neytiri Playboy Centerfold would have been a good idea.

PLAYBOY: So you're okay with arousing PG-13 chubbies?
CAMERON: If such a thing should ­happen—and I'm not saying it will—that would be fine.

Keeping it klassy, Mr. Cameron. Also, I could clearly tell where most of Avatar's estimated $400 million budget went, and it was not to the writing of the script.

For further analysis, read these:

Avatar: Count the "isms", by Ariel, Feministing.

When Will White People Stop Making Movies Like "Avatar"?, by Annalee Newitz, i09 via Racialicious.

These are movies about white guilt. Our main white characters realize that they are complicit in a system which is destroying aliens, AKA people of color - their cultures, their habitats, and their populations. The whites realize this when they begin to assimilate into the "alien" cultures and see things from a new perspective. To purge their overwhelming sense of guilt, they switch sides, become "race traitors," and fight against their old comrades. But then they go beyond assimilation and become leaders of the people they once oppressed. This is the essence of the white guilt fantasy, laid bare. It's not just a wish to be absolved of the crimes whites have committed against people of color; it's not just a wish to join the side of moral justice in battle. It's a wish to lead people of color from the inside rather than from the (oppressive, white) outside.

Think of it this way. Avatar is a fantasy about ceasing to be white, giving up the old human meatsack to join the blue people, but never losing white privilege. Jake never really knows what it's like to be a Na'vi because he always has the option to switch back into human mode . . . When whites fantasize about becoming other races, it's only fun if they can blithely ignore the fundamental experience of being an oppressed racial group. Which is that you are oppressed, and nobody will let you be a leader of anything.


[ . . . ]


Whites need to stop remaking the white guilt story, which is a sneaky way of turning every story about people of color into a story about being white. Speaking as a white person, I don't need to hear more about my own racial experience. I'd like to watch some movies about people of color (ahem, aliens), from the perspective of that group, without injecting a random white (erm, human) character to explain everything to me. Science fiction is exciting because it promises to show the world and the universe from perspectives radically unlike what we've seen before. But until white people stop making movies like Avatar, I fear that I'm doomed to see the same old story again and again.

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By now I was supposed to be married to Elijah Wood,

and we were supposed to be having our first child. Clearly that did not happen, for many humorous reasons, like the fact that we've never met.

I was reminded of this plan that I had created for myself in middle school when I saw Up in the Air this week. In the movie, George Clooney's new young colleague Natalie explains that at 23, she expected to be driving a SUV with a baby, and married to her boyfriend, whom she doesn't really like, but who fits her expectations because he has a one-syllable name. That made me laugh. Marrying someone because his name is Matt or Dave.

Anyhoodle, I really liked Up in the Air. I know, it's crazy! It is the one movie I have seen in a theater this year that I liked. And it only took till December.

* Spoiler alert for those of you who want to be surprised. *

I liked that there were strong, honest roles for women. Of course, all of those roles went to white women who were fairly thin. There was one black woman with a speaking role in the movie, but by the end of the story, she was no longer with us. Also, I did not need the naked bum-bum or side boob in the first hotel room scene, unless that bum-bum happened to be George Clooney's. Alas, it was not. So yet again, as throughout most of film history, the woman with the biggest role in the movie had to be naked in it. And she is 12 years younger than her male counterpart. Well done, sister suffragette. Votes for women, step in time.

In addition to having realistic female characters who were not berated for their life decisions, I also liked that there were not happy endings for most of the characters. This was the kind of movie I had hoped for when I saw (500) Days of Summer, but my hopes were not met.

My favorite part of the whole movie was George Clooney's sister, Kara. She was played by Amy Morton, whom I almost immediately recognized as Thomas Ian Nicholas's mother in Rookie of the Year. I know! The best part was that she has not pulled up her face past her eyebrows like many other actors in Hollywood. She looks like a normal woman living in Northern Wisconsin.

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Why I don't want to go back in time

"How many advantages could one person have? I'm a white man!"

Let's keep this train moving forward to the future for me. Choo choo!

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I would be on Team Jacob,

but he is only marginally less controlling and manipulative than Edward.

I did see New Moon this weekend, and it left me with one major question: why can't Bella drive herself home? Half the guys in the movie were driving her truck, even though it was her truck. Is Bella incapable of driving her own vehicle if a male character has a scene with her?

The rest of my concerns, and other people's concerns, were covered in the following articles and in the comments underneath them:

New Moon: Old Story?, by Wendi Muse, Racialicious.

[ . . . ] If anything, the title itself adds an ironic twist to a tale that spirals into a stereotypical narrative to which we are all well-conditioned by now, both in films and other more readily-available media in our every day lives. Have you ever heard something along the lines of “dating someone who is [insert ethnic/racial group] ok, but you’d better not marry one!” or “Native Americans are so in touch with nature!”? Have you ever seen a film or tv show that relegated the person of color as the trusty sidekick, loyal friend, or temporary romantic plaything, only then to have the white hero enter in medias res and get all the praise and attention? Have you ever seen a piece from an ad campaign or historical policy discussions in which non-white people are portrayed as animalistic, in both their behavior, thought processes, and athletic ability? Have you, as a person of color, or if you are not, any of your POC friends, ever complained of feeling that their societal value was reduced to their physical appearance or a specific body part?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above, you have already seen New Moon.

[ . . . ]

But beyond all the drama, there is a story that we have seen played out countless times in every other movie, tv show, etc. that decides to employ a character of color, only to put them on time out when the fun really begins. Despite being abandoned by her (technically) dead boyfriend, Bella, in true masochistic form, continues to go after him, even though living and breathing Jacob is a better choice for a beau. Not only is he charismatic, attractive, and fun, he can protect Bella too, which seems to be at the crux of her very existence. Playing the damsel in distress is Bella’s forte, so Jacob could fit the bill as a boyfriend who would suit her most important need. Yet his big character flaw, beyond actually being interested in Bella, is the fact that he’s not white.

Yes, poor Jacob, as “beautiful” (Bella’s words) and awesome as he may be, is one of the Quileute, an indigenous group of the northern Pacific coast. While it’s not explicitly stated in the film that this is the reason Bella doesn’t continue the relationship with Jacob, any audience member who knows a little bit about American film already knows quite well that it’s a rare case when a main character of color, especially if surrounded by other main characters who are white, actually succeeds in the end and remains a romantic interest. [ . . . ]

It was particularly heartwarming when Bella's best vampire friend Alice calls Jacob's family "a pack of mutts" and refuses to continue her conversation with Bella until she "puts the dog out." Which Bella does.

Also, the one black guy in the movie has less than 10 minutes of screen time before he was killed. By the Native Americans/werewolves.

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New Moon, Same Old Sexist Story, by Carmen D. Siering and Katherine Spillar, Ms. Magazine.

Bella doesn’t come across as an empowered young woman in New Moon, especially as she uses one man to get over another. And yet, as Ms. pointed out in our Spring 2009 article “Taking a Bite Out of Twilight,” Meyer has insisted that she sees Bella as a feminist character, writing on her website that in her opinion the foundation of feminism is being able to choose. But what Meyer fails to acknowledge is that all the choices Bella makes are the one’s Meyer would make—choices based perhaps on her background as a member of the highly patriarchal Mormon church.

This is a film full of gender stereotypes—testosterone-driven male aggression, females who pine away over lost loves, boys who fix motorcycles and the girls who watch them. The one role-reversal in New Moon, where Bella saves Edward for a change, is immediately negated when Bella’s low self-esteem takes center stage. Even as Edward declares his love to her, Bella deems herself “unworthy” of it, being simply human while he’s a vampire and all. Perpetuating the idea that this is true love—torturous, painful, and unrequited—is detrimental to all of us, women and men.

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New Moon and domestic violence, by Ann, Feministing.

[ . . . ] I was not prepared for the way the movie portrays physical relationship violence, particularly in Native communities. For all the talk of Edward's abusiveness throughout feminist blogworld, I've seen much less written about domestic violence as it relates to the film's competing love interest, Jacob Black -- a 16-year-old Quileute boy who can turn into a werewolf.

At one point in the movie, Bella meets Emily, the fiance of one of Jacob's fellow werewolf-men. As she turns to put a plate of giant muffins on the table, we see that she has a massive scar on one half of her face.

After breakfast, once Jacob and Bella are alone in the car, Jacob explains that Emily's soon-to-be husband lost his temper "for a split second," became a werewolf, and mauled her. (Earlier in the film, he has told Bella that this whole turning-into-a-werewolf-when-you-get-angry thing is actually a genetic trait carried by many men in his community.) He explains that he's worried that he's bad for Bella because he doesn't know if he can control his own anger.

It's more than a little problematic for New Moon to portray violence as an endemic trait among Native men. Yes, domestic violence is a very real problem in American Indian communities. According to Sacred Circle, Native women are more likely to experience violence than any other U.S. population. A full 64 percent of American Indian women will be physically assaulted in their lifetime. They are also stalked at more than twice the rate of other women. But to imply that this is a result of Native people's genes rather than related to other issues such as drug and alcohol abuse, or centuries of racism and marginalization, is inexcusable. (See Latoya's post on Jacob Black for more on Twilight's treatment of Native communities.)

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"In case you couldn't tell . . . I'm a character."

I agree with the mission of Characters Unite. I too believe that "life is richer and we are stronger as a country when we see beyond stereotypes and appreciate each other for the characters that we are."

However, it is hard to take the mission seriously when most of USA's original series are centered on the lives of white males. The two exceptions are In Plain Sight, starring Mary McCormack, and Psych, co-starring Dulé Hill. There are only four non-white regular characters in these series: one Indian/British/American woman, and three black men, including Kofi Kingston on WWE Raw. And to my knowledge, almost all of the characters on all of these are American and straight.

I do subscribe to "promoting greater acceptance, understanding and mutual respect of ALL people." But it's hard to take the movement seriously from a network that calls itself "USA", yet does not begin to represent the people of this country. Especially considering that the network has no regular characters who are recognizably Hispanic, even on the series Burn Notice, which takes place in Miami. Miami!

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Yeah, you could have.

Justin Timberlake: 'I Could Have Handled Wardrobe Malfunction Better', Starpulse via mun2.

Justin Timberlake has come to regret the way he handled Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at the 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show, insisting he should have been more supportive.

The "Cry Me A River" singer was performing onstage with Jackson and ripped open her jacket breast to reveal a naked boob to the world on live TV.

As the scandal of the big reveal escalated, the singer spoke out and confessed he had no idea Jackson intended to go topless - if that, indeed, was her intention.

Timberlake distanced himself from the incident and from Jackson, but now feels he could have handled the controversy and the fall-out from the show a lot better.

He tells Entertainment Weekly magazine, "I wish I had supported Janet more. I am not sorry I apologized, but I wish I had been there more for Janet."

Commenter mjlove shares my reaction to this five-years-too-late declaration:

Get outta here JT, now that youre comfortable in your career you want to issue a statement about that after all this time. Its all good that he feels that way and thats his right to put it out there, but damn where was you when the woman was getting blacklisted left and right. Fine time to feel empathetic towards her huh, but thats just my opinion I'm not judging. I just think that he wasnt very supportive when it would have counted the most, thats all...

I agree. Except that I am judging.

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It's 2009, Mattel,

and Disney, too. Way to include black characters in a movie with outdated animation, while keeping the rest of your current slate of movies as pale as ever. Including Prince of Persia, and the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean coming in 2011? Really? I've never been to Persia, but I have been to the Caribbean, and I've seen some colorful people there.

Back to Mattel. I read this post on Jezebel--"Dear Mattel: This Is How How You Make Barbie More Diverse"--after I read another post on Jezebel, and the following post on Feministing: Real Talk about Barbie: When experience and narrative don't match up, by Ann referencing Latoya. Emphases mine.

Did Barbie impact me personally? Not really - I wasn't inclined to play with dolls, and I was conditioned to recognize when I was being sold something. I learned from a very early age that white beauty isn't the only beauty and there was no reason to feel bad about some white doll thing when there were so many other cool things in the world.

But that was my experience.

My cousin, who had dozens of Barbies and their cars and their dreamhouses thinks Barbies are wonderful toys for her four year old daughter. My cousin jokingly describes herself as looking for a Ken (we are both moving into our late 20s) and keeps her hair long and relaxed.

Unlike my cousin, I never hid under a towel at the pool to keep my skin from turning darker.

And unlike some of my friends, I never felt that sting of being passed over to play with Barbies because there weren't enough black one's to go around. I didn't walk around with a towel on my head swinging it around as if it was long flowing hair, and I didn't (as described in a seventeen magazine article that was published when I was still in the age range to read it) pump out lotion and leave it on my skin pretending I looked white.

I never felt that pain that one of my friends felt when her classmates teased her about having dark skin and short hair, even though it was relaxed and she used a variety of products to try to make it grow.

And I never felt the kind of pain one of my other friends felt when she went up to her white crush and confessed her feelings, only to have him reply "But...you're black." All the parental affirmation in the world was not helping then.

When you have children, you are their primary example. For a while. And then they go to school, they socialize with others, they pick up words, ideas, actions that you never would have dreamed they would. Some of my friends had color struck parents. And some of my friends just got caught up in a glossy, aspirational, media saturated world that paints a very clear picture of who in our society is beautiful and wanted and who is not. Barbie is a part of that. Hollywood is a part of that. TV is a part of that. Advertising is a part of that. And it is relentless and endless.

It might not make sense to some of you who have not felt the sting of feeling entire pieces of your identity excluded from view and representation. Who take for granted that while you may not relate to Blake Lively or Lauren Conrad that you can always turn on the television and see someone of your race and your gender doing all kinds of activities and seen in all sorts of contexts.

If you felt like you could relate heavily to Daria and Jane but you were still thankful for the one time Jodie made a speech about being the only black kid at Lawndale, if you watched The Craft because it was awesome, but you always remember that it was Rochelle who got told that her "little nappy hairs" looked like "pubic hairs" or you just realized that the only "role"for black girls in society was as the silent/funny/pathetic side kick in a white girl's story then you understand.

I still identify with Daria more than Jodie, because although Jodie was black and ambitious (like me!), Daria was well-read and ostracized by her classmates due to her honest points-of-view (like me!). I liked that Jodie wasn't anyone's sassy black friend. Her character had development and a purpose, like most of the characters in Daria did, regardless of gender. Those people had distinct, meaningful personalities.

That's one of the things I don't like about The Office. I was happy about the "Scott's Tots" episode this week, because who doesn't like dancing children who are going to college? I liked that Erin was featured more in this episode, although she was functioning as a less cynical version of the old Pam, conscripted to assist Michael in another embarrassing endeavor.



I don't like how Pam has transformed from Fancy New Beesly--the aspiring artist who is taking charge of her life--to Pam Halpert--Jim's wife/baby mama who traded her art career for a position as a mediocre salesperson in a bankrupt paper company.

I don't like that you can count the colorful people at Dunder Mifflin on one hand, and if you blink, you'll miss them. I don't like that the women on the show haven't been humorous on their own in a while. I don't like that all of Michael's love interests have been carbon copies of Steve Carell's blond wife (who now goes by Nancy Carell), with no discernible personalities of their own aside from their inexplicable infatuation with Michael. Though I did like crazy Jan and her baby created from super sperm.

This is probably why both Sherri and Parks and Recreation have grown me, with their somewhat diverse casts and their funny female characters. Although, they could both use some more, or any, Asian and Latino people.

In conclusion, I need some black friends to talk with about the above issues. Or, if you're not black, but you would still like to talk with me, let me know. I'm a nice lady!

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Mayhem and Foolishness

I have been trying to find the clip from either Clean House or The Dish that shows one of the inappropriately funny scenes in this episode, but mystyle.com and YouTube are not working with me.

As you can see in the above clip, Niecy Nash, the regular host of Clean House has invited her crew to clean her own house and help her mother. During the process, cast member Mark Brunetz expresses that doing the show about Niecy's home may be difficult. When Mark and Niecy have to talk about furniture, the conversation takes an unexpectedly, shall we say "insensitive", possibly scripted, turn. Danielle Fishel then showed that scene on this week's episode of The Dish. Here is a transcript:

Danielle: Niecy Nash is used to powering through other people’s messes on Clean House right here on Style. But when her crew had to clean Niecy’s house, I think [Clean House cast member Matt Iseman] summed it up best.

Matt in clip: I believe we’re about to hear a whole lot of “mmm!”s.

Danielle: So obviously designer Mark has no problem communicating with Niecy, right?

Mark in clip: So I want you to pick a textile for the sofa.

Niecy in clip: I want, like, Booyah! brown. You got that?

Mark: Booyah brown?

Niecy: Well, because you’ve got to think about three kids and my mama, eating.

Mark: So, forgiving? So if you spill something like chitlins or something, you’re going to actually be able to clean it up.

Record scratch!

Niecy looks at the camera.

Mark: Is that what you mean?

That's racist!

Danielle went on to suggest other ways in which Mark could have made the situation more uncomfortable.

Danielle: Or maybe if you spill some fried chicken on it? Or hair relaxer? No? What I meant to say is that, a brown that goes with hip hop music, or maybe our President would like it. No? Tell me this: is it like a Tyler Perry movie? Is it a brown that doesn’t crack? What? Why are you making that record scratch noise?

Here is more fun time with Danielle and Niecy, and Star Jones:

Apparently, Kathy Griffin has already been with that young tender, but I doubt Levi Johnston has ever talked right or looked right.

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Combining a McDonald's cookie, McDonald's fries,

and a few boxes of strawberry and grape Nerds before bedtime led to the crazy dream last night that Michael Lohan was my biological father. It was disturbing.

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When I have presentations to do,

I like to think of myself as a young comedian working on my stand-up act, like Patton Oswalt below, but without the expletives:

The A.V. Club: What if things don’t go well? Are you able to get perspective on that pretty easily, or is it bruising if something doesn’t really work?

Patton Oswalt: It’s not that it’s personally bruising. I’m in New York right now, and I had to run two sets for a TV show, so I went to two clubs. I went to Comix and I did my set and it went fine, and then I went to Gotham, and I ate it so fucking hard. [Laughs.] You get to a point when [the audience] knows who you are, so they’re happy to see you, but every now and then, you just get that, “This shit is not flying.” And then it’s even worse, because they’re like, “This asshole’s on TV, and he’s not fucking funny.” Like they almost expect you to know what the fuck you’re doing after you’ve been on TV for a while. So when you eat it like that… I actually ended up being pretty excited as I was re-writing it in the cab home [from Gotham], because I was like, “Oh, I have a lot more to work on.” I never want to get to a point where I feel like I’m done. Or like I got it. You always want to have that, “Oh shit, this wall just collapsed, and there’s a whole room behind it to explore.”

AVC: Is it better now than it was? At the beginning of your career, when you weren’t as known, it seems like it would have been an uphill battle every time, getting an audience on your side.

PO: Definitely. But you know what’s really weird? I’m grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over. Because I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn’t like that battle, or they just couldn’t do it. And then they would get on a sitcom and get visible and get back into it, because the audience was just way easier on them. But they lost those crucial years of learning to turn any audience into your audience. And I think that’s really, really important. That’s why they’re okay stand-ups, but they’re never going to be great, because they don’t have that presence. They never built those muscles up.

I have a lot more to work on, too! And I would never have a home birth.

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