Some people should not have children.

When I was a child, I occasionally saw other children on leashes held by their parents, usually at the airport or at amusement parks. I thought the concept was silly then; they were children, not dogs. But now, I think leashes should be a requirement for certain kids and their absent caregivers.

Today I sat for about twenty minutes in a public establishment, watching a mother dispassionately call for her three-year-old son to stand beside her. "Dan. Danny? Come over here. Daniel? Dan. Dan. Dan-Dan. Come over here. Come here. Here. Dan? Danny. Come here."

It went on and on, and the boy never came. He continued playing over twenty feet away, not even acknowledging the requests. The mother was wrapped up in her own business; she didn't want to lose her place in line, and she didn't want to expend the energy to either raise her voice or to grab her son. There were stretches of time during which the boy could have wandered outside, or when another adult could have abducted him. It takes less than ten seconds to snatch a child. This child could have easily disappeared multiple times, or he could have injured himself on the large objects in the room, because no one was watching him.

The whole time I was thinking, That would not be my child. Also, despite what some people might assume, the lack of parenting described in the situation above did not involve any black people. When I tell my future children to "come here", they will come immediately, or they can find somewhere else to live. I am the adult. I am responsible for their safety. They need to listen to me. Obeying my commands will not be an option for them to consider. There will be no negotiation.

This incident also came after I finished watching Paternal Instinct this morning on Logo. The two men in the documentary tried so hard for years to have a baby, just like my parents did. I couldn't imagine the absolute horror they would go through if someone stole their children from them. So when I see someone letting their child wander off because they are too lazy to be a good parent, I get upset.

Best Quote of the Day

"This kid has nothing on Joseph Gordon Levitt."

This Best Week Ever hilarity was found via Stephanie and her Soap Box.

"A less sleazy, Asian Jeremy Piven"

I found him! After having no luck with Google searches and being led to this other "Asian guy" by the related TWoP forum, I used my noggin, played my tape of the Office episode again, and paused during the end credits. "Tim Kang" was the only non-Anglo name listed in the guest stars. I checked on IMDb, scrolled down to Additional Details, and confirmed that Mr. Kang is indeed the Cingular guy, even though his Office appearance is not yet listed. So there you go. It only took me three days to figure this out. Brilliant.

In case the title of this post isn't self-explanatory even in context, it comes from the comments on the above video's YouTube page.

Unsolicited Blog Mention!

Look! Someone else has linked to me: The Morning After: Searching for Carrie Fisher, by James Poniewozik at Tuned In.

Though Fey didn't write last night's episode, who else could you imagine making an episode about first-meeting-second-wave feminism so funny, complete with an H. R. Haldeman talking-mailbox joke? (Update: Second wave meeting third wave? Or fourth? Version 2.1 meeting version 3.2? Neither math nor history is my strong suit, but, you know, something earlier meeting something later. Maybe Bianca Reagan can straighten this out.)

I'm pretty sure he is referring to the comment I left under his post, Mad Men Watch: His and Hers. How cool am I? Very! Thank you, Mr. P!

"Yah, this is why I don’t watch this crap."

Women in Competition (How I Met Your Mother), by Purtek on The Hathor Legacy, via Feministe's Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday thread:

A couple of weeks ago, on this thread, I mentioned that men are constantly portrayed as competing for women in a way that makes the woman essentially irrelevant. We use game metaphors to describe the system, but the winner and loser–the agents of participation–are always just the men. The women, I said, are the ball, the object you score with.

How I Met Your Mother decided to construct an entire episode (”The Belt”) around proving this point for me, throwing in the additional jaw-droppingly double-standard driven repetition of the idea that women are competitive bitches.

Barney and Ted have a long-standing competition as to who will successfully have a threesome first (two women, of course). They literally have a belt to give the winner–one of those super-tacky, wrestling championship style things. When Ted meets two women in a bar, he’s at first not sure which one he should go for. He keeps sneaking off to make phone calls to evaluate his strategy–note that he never gives a damn about the personalities of either of the women. One is just as good as the other, as long as making a move on the first doesn’t kill his chances of “scoring”. . .

Lily, who is mainly being ‘one of the boys’ during the whole threesome discussion, gets to be the one to remind us (again, repeatedly) that women who do these things are “sluts”.

It goes on from there. You should read the rest. No, I don't need to watch the episode. No, I don't care if my blog friends and outside friends think the show is funny. Yes, I still heart NPH.

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In semi-related news, Joel Stein can go bleep himself:

This year, I was invited to six Halloween parties, which would not be strange if it weren't for the fact that I'm older than 12. Meanwhile, I was invited to zero New Year's Eve parties last year. People vastly prefer Halloween parties because New Year's Eve involves dressing up like an adult, whereas Halloween involves dressing up like a slut...

...after much research and consultation, I have founded our nation's newest holiday: Slut Day.

It will take place the first Saturday of every August, a time both barren of holidays and plenty hot enough for really degrading costumes. Slut Day festivities include costume parties with themed drinks such as the Lindsay Lohan (just whatever in a giant glass) and, if possible, flat-screen TVs showing the latest celebrity sex tapes and select parts of "Meerkat Manor." Or anything else. Flat-screen TVs are just sexy.

In addition to fixing the Halloween problem, Slut Day also can replace the "Pimps N Hos" parties scattered across the calendar, which are racist and sexist, with an event that is only sexist. That's a 50% reduction in offensiveness.

Immediately after I finished reading this aberration, I composed and emailed the following message to the "columnist":

Dear Mr. Stein,

I used to be a fan of yours. That was until I read your October 26, 2007, opinion piece in the LA Times, in which you stated "I have founded our nation's newest holiday: Slut Day."

I could go on and on for pages on why your article disgusted me. Instead I will refer to the 2004 documentary entitled "Slut" by Rina Barone and Patricia DiTillio. At one point the film was being shown on the Sundance Channel. I'm sure someone with
your connections can get his hands on a copy. I suggest you watch it to understand how deeply this word--and the patriarchal judgment behind it--hurts both women and men.

I also refer you to Feministing, the website which contains the link that led me to your column:

http://feministing.com/archives/007989.html

He has not responded. Oh well.

This could apply to

both Britney and military veterans:

People Person's Paper People

My favorite part of this week's episode of The Office, "Local Ad." Watch the video while you can.


[The video is gone, so you can click here instead.]


For you fellow TV aficionados, what is the name of that ad guy with the thick black glasses in the episode? I have seen him in several commercials probably every day for the past two years, but I don't know who he is. :( You may know as "The Asian guy" in the Cingular commercials:














He has also been the Dad in a Home Depot commercial, and a scientist in both a Shell oil commercial and a pharmaceutical (?) commercial. I am poring through the TWoP forums for info.

I should really direct this actor search energy into something constructive, like promoting world peace. So readers, after you finish perusing the interwebs, give someone a hug.

Stupidest video I've seen today

Purity Pledge via Feministing:



That was until I saw this video that I can't figure out how to embed: O’Reilly: J.K. Rowling Is A ‘Provocateur’ For ‘The Gay Agenda’ Of ‘Indoctrination’ by Matt on Think Progress, which I found via If Bill O’Reilly didn’t exist, we’d have to make him up. by zuzu on Feministe.

I'm a posting fool!

For people like my Mummy

who don't support my desire to yell at people like these in department stores and make them cry:

Mistaken identity by resistance on Resist Racism, via Racialicious

A young African American guy I used to know had two occurrences of mistaken identity in one week. He was washing his very expensive car at his trendy condo building when management came out and told him that he wasn’t allowed to do that. Turned out that they had a problem with homeless people soliciting money for car washes (?). Condo owners, of course, were allowed to use the facilities in the garage for that purpose.

Then he was walking past a restaurant when a man jumped out of a car and handed him the keys. He had been mistaken for a valet.

To me, this was a clear example of how race can blind some white people to everything else. This guy clearly looked wealthy by my standards. He was always extremely well-dressed, lived in a very expensive neighborhood and drove a new sports car...

When walking through a restaurant, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase, a white man stopped me and asked me to take his plate away.

Clearly, assumptions held by those people overrode even clear and obvious information that would indicate I was not in a service position.

Also, for some inordinate reason, white people often seem to mistake me for an employee of home improvement stores. Hello! No orange apron! (But every once in a while I like to answer the questions anyway.) Maybe it’s the tape measure and the manly stride. A white woman once abusively screamed that she wanted to see my manager RIGHT NOW because she did not feel I was helpful. Even after she found out she was mistaken, she did not have the grace to apologize.

They never do.

Maybe my Mummy doesn't get it because this doesn't happen to her on a regular basis. However it does happen to me, and those racist, self-satisfied people need to get out of my face. I have shopping to do, and I don't need to be reminded of my societal inferiority while doing so.

I love babies!

I've addressed this question multiple times,

but some people can't take "institutionalized racism" as an answer:

Why is the Universe full of White people? by the angry black woman.

...maybe SciFi channel just sucks ass. I think that might be the case.

What else can you say about a network that allowed the guy who made the Earthsea movie turn all of the people white except for that one guy? On Stargate the black people are all slaves, but the white people might be slaves or they might be rulers or they might be accountants. On Atlantis they gathered together scientists and military folks from countries all over the world, and yet the only person of color from Earth is the one military guy. All of the other black folks come from another galaxy. From backwards, tribal planets no less. Oh, except for that one Asian chick in that one episode...

...it’s very easy for those who don’t have to think about race (read: white men) to say that ethnic minorities should stop counting how many ethnic minorities are represented in the media they watch (not to mention how they are represented) and just enjoy the fact that there are some. That’s just ignorant, people. Ignorant.

White, heterosexual men have the luxury of being able to turn to 99% of the channels beamed into their TVs and see themselves portrayed in a manner that makes them comfortable and happy. Most white women, do, too. Minorities of most any stripe do not have that luxury. This is especially true of ethnic minorities. Why do we ‘bean count’? Because we can. That’s not flippancy, that’s a fact. I can look at my TV and count the number of black people I see because there are so few of them and they tend to stand out in the sea of whiteness. I’m getting sick of it, myself. How about the rest of you?

I will continue to address the rest of the comments (Thank you, readers!) in the section under my previous post, Don't ask, don't tell....

Shady.

This is the word that describes my day.

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In other news, I loved the Kathy Griffin E! True Hollywood Story. I hope my eventual THS is as downfall-free as hers. Here were the shocking glimpses into Kathy's life: to make up for her virgin status up until age 19, Kathy had sex with a lot of men during the 80s and 90s; also, her husband stole money out of her private account, so she divorced him. Huh.

I also look forward to having friends like Janeane Garofalo, Margaret Cho and Lance Bass who who go on E! and talk about how talented and sensitive I am. Because I am both of those things. I'm not hoping to befriend people who are famous now; I want my current friends to become successful and well known, at least by Best Week Ever standards. So start working on that pilot, that novel, and that ingenious business plan. You know I love you all. XOXO!

Well, at least it's "helping"?

Catholic condom ban helping AIDS spread in Latin America, from Reuters via Yahoo! News.

The rapid spread in Latin America of the virus that causes AIDS is made worse by the Roman Catholic Church's stand against using condoms, a U.N. official said on Monday...

"In Latin America the use of condoms has been demonized, but if they were used in every relation I guarantee the epidemic would be resolved in the region," said Alberto Stella, the UNAIDS Coordinator for Honduras, Nicaragua and Costa Rica.

The Catholic Church, which holds sway in Latin America despite the rise in evangelical churches, opposes all forms of contraception and instead promotes abstinence as a way to avoid spreading AIDS.

These Yahoo! headline writers need some help themselves. How about "AIDS pandemic worsened by idiotic policy masked as religious doctrine"? This isn't just a Catholic thing. According to the US Department of State, it is literally the main thrust of "The President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief."

I don't remember the passage in the Bible where Jesus said, "Don't talk about sex, and don't use condoms." I do remember Jesus saying something about helping the poor and the sick. Many of the people contracting HIV are poor. And if they weren't poor before, they will be soon because those AZT cocktails are expensive.

That is all. :(

Get this woman a show!

Kathy Griffin Goes From D-List To E! True Hollywood Story, via Jezebel, Defamer.

Oh, Kathy already has one? What about Janeane? Get Janeane a show!



Did you notice Rob Thomas's moment of kinda brilliance? He's getting there.

Don't ask, don't tell...

...and don't give the colored folks anything significant to do or say.

That's what came to mind when I first heard the following news: J.K. Rowling Explains Why Uncle Dumbledore Never Got Married, from EW.com via Defamer.

Responding to a question from a child about Dumbledore's love life, Rowling hesitated and then revealed, "I always saw Dumbledore as gay." Filling in a few more details, she said, "Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald.... Don't forget, falling in love can blind us."

The second thing that came to my mind was this: Law and Order's Southerlyn Comes Out on Her Way Out, by Sarah Warn at AfterEllen.

In one of the most famous—and puzzling—conclusions to a Law and Order episode ever, Assistant D.A. Serena Southerlyn (Elizabeth Rohm) was unexpectedly outed at the end of “Ain’t No Love,” which aired on January 12, 2005, when she reponsdeed to her dismissal with the question, “You're not firing me because I'm a lesbian?”

Southerlyn’s unexpected outing is one of the few episodes in Law and Order’s 15-year history that has included a lesbian or bisexual character. Although Law and Order aired episodes about gay men beginning in its very first season, lesbians rarely made appearances on the crime drama until its ninth season in 1999...

To out Southerlyn in her final scene on the series feels a little like having your cake and eating it too: Law and Order gets to expand its diversity of characters and lay claim to a token lesbian among its cast, but avoid the ramifications of it because the character leaves the series immediately after her sexuality is revealed.

In the words of Stephen Colbert--after finding out John Edwards would be challenging his favorite son status in his one-state Presidential bid in South Carolina: What the bleep, y'all?

It's convenient that Ms. Rowling reveals this 1) with hesitation 2) after being asked by a child, 3) after the seventh and final book came out three months ago, and 4) after Dumbledore was killed in Book 6 by the gayest villain since Scar in The Lion King. Apparently it was a-okay for every other character in the Harry Potter series to be as straight as they want to be. But God forbid anyone in the books display any homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender identity, or hint of queerdom at all. It was fine for Ron to whore it up all through Book 6, having a purely physical relationship with Lavender Brown, while unfairly chastising Hermione because she had one date two books ago with Viktor Krum. Dumbledore could have at least alluded to a past relationship, or the special feelings he had for this Grindelwald guy.

I own all seven books, along with the four DVDs that have been released. That doesn't mean I have to like the WASPy, heteronormative patriarchal regressive world that J.K. Rowling ripped off from other books, movies, myths and legends. How original is it to write a fantastical story about an orphaned white Anglo boy who has to save the world? Yes, there's Hermione, the token girl; Kingsley, the big black guy in the Order of the Phoenix who functions as a bodyguard; and Cho and Dean, the vaguely ethnic love interests whose entire existences have been erased by Book 7, so that [SPOILER ALERT!] Harry and Ginny (who has no real personality of her own) can be together in holy white matrimony. The straight white guys get to have all the fun.

So wrong.

What has VH1 come to? The video ended, but Midget Mac was okay. He swam across the pond, but when he reached the dock, New York didn't even try to help him. She didn't want to get her suit wet. And one of the other guys is married? This is now officially worse than College Hill: Embarrassing the VI Edition. Though that won't stop me from watching the I Love New York 2 antics.

It's like he's singing directly to me.

I want to take a trip to the "animal zoo" with you, Mr. Samberg. I will look in your eyes and say, "I'm tripping too."

I know this video aired at the end of last month, but the SNL episode was on again tonight. And no, the rest of the episode was not any better the second time around. Ugh.

My new favorite show

. . . on Logo: Exes and Ohs. It's funny, and the main character is an overanalyzer like I am. Also, Heather Matarazzo plays an delusional aspiring singer/songwriter who calls herself "Crutch." That's reason enough to watch this 30-minute dramedy series.

However, as Sarah Warn said on After Ellen seven months ago, "what's up with a cast of all white women?" Sheryl Lee Ralph, of Dreamgirls and the last season of Designing Women fame, did play the minister in the pilot episode, but all of the main characters and most of the other supporters are white. Harumph. I can't find a suitable role model anywhere. I guess I've still got Tyra. Oy vey.

Smithsonian Magazine's The Last Word

I was alerted by a MySpace bulletin that Reza Aslan is featured in this month's Smithsonian Magazine. I'm not a subscriber, nor was I previously aware that such a magazine existed. However I did read the article online, along with Reza's answers to the magazine's questionnaire entitled "The Last Word". Below are my current answers to the same questions. My responses will change by the beginning of next year.

1. Three words someone else would use to describe me are smart, funny and uptight.

2. My greatest professional influence is Gerry Laybourne.

3. My fondest memory is traveling with my Mummy to New York City.

4. The last book I read was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I'm on chapter four.

5. If I could have dinner with anyone living or dead it would be Al Gore. I have a few more people I would like to dine with, but he's first.

6. Three things I can't live without are water, TV and hugs.

7. The most pressing issue facing the world is the military industrial complex and every inhumane force that comes with it.

8. The most important lesson I ever learned was to work smart, not hard, no matter what your career counselor tells you.

9. My advice for those just starting out in this profession is this: Figure out what you want to do and who you want to be. Make sure you're climbing up the right ladder to success, and don't be afraid to construct your own. Ladder, that is.

10. My motto is: Everybody poops, even celebrities and "elected" officials. So give people the respect you think they have earned, not the respect their publicists have told you they deserve.

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I love how they titled the larger piece "37 under 36: America's Young Innovators in the Arts and Sciences". How specific, yet not so. Also, where's my profile, Smithsonian? I've got a decade before I turn 36, I'm innovative and I'm artsy.

Two lovely people I've never met.

We need more people like these on our screens and in our government. And by "these" people, I mean intelligent individuals who want to move our country and its citizens forward. People who think about social, cultural and political issues, and who encourage others to do the same.

Who's "we"?

I made a comment under this post over at Mr. Smooth's blog, so I hope it eventually appears. Until then, my sentiment is this: who needs to take responsibility for what? Last time I checked, I wasn't making any videos that involved one gender exploiting another. I'm not contributing to the history of misogyny in the United States and around the world. I'm not using racial slurs to refer to my peers, nor am I stating that any and all women I come across are prostitutes and/or female dogs.

This is the same way I feel when I hear people talk about how far the United States has come, and that racism, sexism and homophobia don't exist anymore, because this country was built on democracy and freedom, and it's the greatest country in the world. Most of the people who make those glib, propogandist statements have never left the country. They act like because they supposedly don't know any wife beaters, gay bashers or white hood enthusiasts, everything is fine, and therefore our country is so progressive. Except here's the problem I've often come across: it's not like there has been a large group of nonwhite people perpetrating this institutional bigotry. Meaning, there weren't a bunch of Asian people running the Middle Passage; there weren't a bunch of Native Americans rounding up Japanese American in internment camps; and there aren't a bunch of black people hiring Mexicans and Central Americans for cheap labor while simultaneously enacting discriminatory legislation to keep foreigners from "crossing the border" and "taking our jobs."

I'm not responsible for the bigotry perpetrated on certain non-white, non-male, or non-straight American citizens. I'm not oppressing myself. I'm not one of the people in this country who has "come a long way." I never had anywhere to get to. I've always been here. What needs to be said is the following:

• Certain (white) people in power, and even those not in power, need to stop being racist. I acknowledge that nonwhite racist people exist, but that is another discussion for another time.

• Straight people (and some queer people, too) need to stop hating the LGBT community.

• Men (and certain self-hating women) need to stop oppressing women and end the cycle of misogyny.

We all need to stop acting like the oppressed and the oppressors have, or should have, a equal say in the direction of our country and our society. We don't ask serial killers what we should do to decrease the murder rate. We don't ask rapists how to stop sexual assaults. Mr. Smooth, I agree that there is a discussion to be had about the history and future of hip hop, and the effects hip hop continues to have on our communities. But let's not pretend that every person's opinion is valid and equal, especially the opinions of those "artists" who still choose to making their millions by treating women like worthless whores.

(I'm not saying that sex workers in general are worthless. I'm saying that's how certain recording artists treat the women in their songs and videos.)

We need to tell people, "this behavior is wrong, and you need to stop."