Thursday, October 15, 2009

I agree, Amanda.



In his review of Chris Rock's latest film Good Hair, Brian Prisco of Pajiba wrote the following. Emphases mine:


Good Hair follows a smart path from a simple question: what does it mean for a black person to have good hair? Make no mistake, this question — and this film — is meant for a black audience. That’s not to say a person of a different race couldn’t enjoy or appreciate it, but Rock is making the active decision to put the question to his people for his people.


Then there was Bob Cannon's concern in his review for Moviefone:


The question is, can a film this ethnocentric cross enough racial and social lines to approach the box office numbers of Michael Moore, the gold standard in successful documentary filmmaking?


Oh, was that the question?

My first reaction was, I have never seen a review of any of the majority of American movies that states, "this film is meant for a white audience," even though that statement would be accurate. Chris Rock, along with any other multi-million earning black performer, is not successful solely because of a black audience. Case in point: the first people I ever heard quoting Chris Rock in my presence were two white male teenagers in the late 90s. I don't think any of my black female friends have ever quoted Chris Rock to me.

My second reaction was akin to the feelings of Margaret from Jezebel. Emphases mine:


Almost every critic praises Good Hair, but for the most part, their reviews stick to a summary of the film and analysis of Rock as host/narrator. Several say they found themselves surprised by the information presented - possibly because, judging from photos found online, none of them reviewers actually have black hair. While this latter fact doesn't disqualify them from critiquing the quality of the film, the reviews do come from an outsider's perspective, like The New York Times' take, which notes, "One of the happy consequences of Good Hair should be a radical increase in white-woman empathy for their black sisters."


However, unlike Margaret, I do think that the reviewers' lack of black hair, or more precisely, their lack of knowledge about and historical perspective on black hair, does disqualify them from accurate critiquing the quality of the film. For instance, when Brian writes the following,


There’s a heartrending scene where Rock interviews five high school girls about what it means to look successful. Four of the girls are overweight with shiny straight tresses, and one adorable gal who looks like a young Jill Scott sits in the center with a subdued Afro. The larger girls then use her as an example — “no offense, you look cute but…” — of how to look unprofessional. As the girls explain how women with Afros don’t look trustworthy or successful and how they imply a disregard for rules or proper fashion, the camera pans in on the young girl quietly sitting sadly.


he doesn't notice that Chris Rock doesn't bother to question who decides what is "trustworthy or successful" or what is in "proper fashion." It's not like black women are running Fortune 500 companies. Okay, except for one Ursula Burns, who seems to have been successful in her ascent to the top of Xerox. And her hair also happens to be natural.

Also, thanks for the "overweight" qualifier. Always relevant when writing about black women.

Or when Brian writes,


Rock bookends his movie with the Bronner Brothers International Hair Show in Atlanta, GA. Having seen Blow Dry, I knew that hairstylists would go to ape-shit lengths to sculpt Barbies like a Food Network Cake Challenge. Having also seen Stomp the Yard, Drumline, and Snaps, I should have known that black people would take this to levels of sublime showoffsmanship which would make a peacock blush. But you’ve also seen those films and shows. Can you blame them? That shit’s bananas. (I don’t speak jive.)


he shows his behind by asserting that he knows black people because he saw and Stomp the Yard and Drumline? In the words of Angry Asian Man, that's racist! FYI, I don't speak jive either, turkey.

As if I know about white people because I saw Fired Up or Juno or Never Been Kissed. If Brian or Bob, or any reviewer, had mentioned School Daze, I would give them partial credit. Brian also neglects to mention Jason Griggers, the blindingly white stylist in the movie, who is favored to win the hair styling competition.

So who is the Amanda starring in the title of this post? She is one of the people who commented under Brian's review, and I share her sentiments. Emphases mine:

. . . My only concern is that you (apparently) asserted that the movie is meant for a black audience, basically just because it focuses on the cult of Good Hair as it relates to black people. (That is, if my interpretation of those paragraphs is correct.)

I'd like to offer that it would be valuable for all races and ethnicities to see a film like this so that we can understand the very particular effect that the "straight hair ideal" has on black women. In my humble opinion, saying that this movie is only for black people is a disservice to the message of the film. Good Hair might very well have a message of empowerment that is intended for a black audience, but I think that it is equally if not more important for other races/ethnicities - I'm going to venture that it's particularly important for whites - to see the time and effort black women spend on their hair. We need to have our eyes opened to the fact that society's projection of straight hair as more beautiful and professional is inherently discriminatory, and it forces black women to spend outrageous amounts of money at salons if they want to be taken seriously - both as professionals and as *beautiful* women.


If only blacks see this film, they may feel empowered, and they may experience some kind of epiphany about their relationships with their hair. Maybe. I can't claim to know, as I'm not black myself. But it is not up to black people to change society's perceptions about their hair - it's up to everyone else. That's why I think that the message is best received by people of all racial and ethnic groups, not just by a black audience.



And here is another comment I enjoyed, under Margaret's review:


@nyc-caribbean-ragazza: "I was talking to a friend of mine (black) who wondered if Chris Rock explained to his daughter that the reason her hair did not look like Mommy's is because Mommy wears a weave."

What. You. Said.
Times like, a kabillion.

It just staggers me the way everyone, including Mr. Documentary himself -- and I've met him, and he's cool, and can you tell, I'm really really disappointed -- is manifestly, steadfastly, resolutely ignoring this.


Considering that their two daughters were prominently featured, Malaak Compton-Rock, Chris Rock's wife, was glaringly absent from the film. I wouldn't assume she has a weave, but her hair has definitely been straightened. Chris never talks about his wife in the film, nor does he talk about his own decision to marry a black woman, not who has natural hair, but who has straightened hair. His decision comes off as hypocritical, considering the lengths he goes to in the film to show how harmful the straightening process can be, and how exploitative the weave business is. As Beet at Feministing Community puts it,


. . . it seems Chris Rock is criticizing black women who modify their hair to look straight yet he hardly even dents the larger issue of beauty standards shaped by society that constrict black women and contribute to their "need" to do this in the first place. This movie can be used as a reason to criticize black women who wear a weave but it doesn't really answer the question that if black women wore their hair more naturally, would they be accepted? . . .


I will leave you with this quote from actor Tracie Thoms, whose hair I would love to have growing out of my head:

"To keep my hair the same texture as it grows out of my head is looked at as revolutionary. Why is that?"

Why indeed. :|


Ooh, here is my favorite part of the movie:



Chris Rock: How old were you the first time you got a relaxer?

Maya Angelou: Ooh god. About 70.

Chris Rock: 70?

Maya Angelou: Mmhmm.

Chris Rock: You went your whole life?

Maya Angelou: Not my whole life. I'm still alive!



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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"The temperature is 54. Yes!"



You should follow your dreams now. Because as Rent reminds us, there is no day but today.

Also, it's good to see Scott Bakula is still working. I would like to see a similar project for women of a certain age, with their wisdom showing through their wrinkles, exploring what happens after you turn 40. But alas, as always, I will have to settle for reruns of The Golden Girls.

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

"Is that the show with the black guy?"


The black guy?

"The one where he solves crimes with a white guy? And he is reluctant to participate?"

Yes, Mummy. That does describe Psych. That also describes almost every procedural drama on television right now, and half the movies from the 1980s.

I also enjoy watching that competitive dancing show with the unstable judge, that makeover show with the snarky host, that teen drama with the conveniently absent parents, and that funny reality show with all the cakes. Yum!
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Friday, October 09, 2009

Backstreet Boys on Conan!




Of course I missed it last night, since I learned about it today on Best Day Ever. But I did like the above Three Questions with Howie and AJ. Howie's my favorite, but AJ has the most fervent fan base.

I agree with the interviewer: what is up with letting T-Pain use autotune on your album? I thought that was so over.

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Data that should help me when I complain to my friends.


Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back, by christian at OkTrends via Racialicious. Emphases mine, proving that it's not just me being a paranoid weirdo. Have some empathy, readers.


. . . [We at OkCupid.com] processed the messaging habits of almost a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. It would be awesome if the other major online dating players would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. I can’t imagine they will: multi-million dollar enterprises rarely like to admit that the people paying them those millions act like turds. But being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there.

[ . . . ]

  • Black women are sweethearts. Or just talkative. But either way, they are by far the most likely to reply to your first message. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and overall black women reply about a quarter more often.

  • White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.

  • White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.

  • Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.

  • White guys are shitty, but fairly even-handed about it. [I didn't write this; the OkCupid person did. Hello, nice white readers! Keep visiting my blog!] The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed. It’s interesting that white males do manage to reply to Middle Eastern women. Is there some kind of emergent fetish there? As Middle Easterners are becoming America’s next racial bogeyman, maybe there’s some kind of forbidden fruit thing going on. (Perhaps a reader more up-to-date on his or her Post-Colonial Theory can step in here? Just kidding. Don’t.)


[Edit: 10/11/2009] I have been reading through the comments on the above article and on websites where the OkCupid findings have been reposted. The comments range from agreement to vehement denial of the results. Many of the commenters don't think that excluding people from your dating pool based on race is racist. These commenters also insist that other factors have influenced the results, like income level, weight, education, and the ability to use correct English and grammar? Hmm. Maybe my chunkiness is overwhelming my bachelors degree, my upward mobility, and my penchant for crafting well-written posts.

Commenter PinkRanger, who happens to be white, says it best on The Frisky:

I find it curious that there are subtle notes throughout this post that imply minorities don’t have good grammer, english, or communication skills….....I find that unnerving.


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Monday, October 05, 2009

This commercial turned out well, but



it could have led to an episode of SVU. Kids, don't talk to strangers, even if they helped you find your puppy.

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"Normal Asian family on TV!"



[found via Racialicious]


Or more precisely, an average family on TV, who happens to look Asian. My favorite part is the two gray-haired members of the family enjoying the beatboxing and dancing.

I like this commercial, too, for similar reasons:





This one, too!




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Sunday, October 04, 2009

"Our TV show's like a family!"



Speak the word, Kathy Griffin. Some people don't know what to do with me, either.

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Saturday, October 03, 2009

"That's one counter-example."



"Look. Dark-skinned people with funny-sounding Muslim names, they just aren't going to make it very far in politics."

Oh, really?

I knew Martin Sheen didn't have to change his name to become President.

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"I'm sorry I got sexually assaulted"?



That's what I learned from Fame. The 2009 version, not the good one. According to the writers of Fame, if you visit an alum from your school at his workplace after he offers to introduce you to his hiring manager, it's your fault if he assaults you and videotapes it. And if your boyfriend breaks up with you because you told him about the assault, find him in a smoky club a year later, and apologize to him for being attacked. After all, who cares about your feelings about being victimized? First and foremost, make that your unsupportive boyfriend feels secure about himself.

How could this remake have gone so wrong?

Dancing? Check!

Vibrant characters? Check!

Colorful actors? Check!

Talented artists over 40? Check!

Former member of the Mickey Mouse Club? Check!

Unfortunately, most of the characters didn't have any storylines, which is something I look for in my films. Also, to the chagrin of my friend Chrissy, the filmmakers cut out the scene in which the students stop traffic and dance in the street. What the who what? Egregious.

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"Am I Krumping?"



You are now!

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

"Where does it not suck to be born a woman?"

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sheryl WuDunn
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Kudos to Stephen for having a guest on his show who is a lady, a Chinese American, and a Pulitzer Prize winner all at the same time. And, she is helping other women with her book! Hooray!

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Monday, September 28, 2009

Open letter to white male TV writers



who incorporate blackface in their programming to punctuate their views on historical and contemporary racism:

Don't do it.

End of letter.

[Edited on 9/29/2009 for further explanation.]

Why? Because you aren't that much better than the people you are mocking.

1. The majority of people who appear on your shows, meaning Mad Men and The Colbert Report, are white American men. You have a few white women and some token black people. I'd be shocked to see a Latino, East Asian, Pacific Islander, South Asian or Middle Eastern person make an appearance.

2. You don't have any black people in power on your writing staff or working behind the scenes in general. How do I know this? Because if there had been any black authority figures working on your show, those blackface scenes would not have happened. There would not have been a can of shoe polish within a mile of your studios.

Stop trying to convince yourselves and the people around you that you're "not racists" and that you're "the good guys." You do not have the awareness or the facility or the right to employ racist imagery for profit.

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Do it, Blackapella!



"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"

Was that Wyclef Jean in the back?

I loved this week's episode of Psych! More child stars from the 1990s, please! Where is the Boy Meets World episode? Goodness knows Ben Savage and Will Friedle are available. And Jaleel White needs to get more work. Get on that, Psych producers. I'm looking at you, James and Dulé.

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Sunday, September 20, 2009

"Blingitude is girl's BFF, AEAE."




I don't know what that means. Oh. Do people actually say any of that?

Here is another of my favorite videos this week:





"CNN correspondent--I'm sorry. MSNBC anchor--I'm sorry. Fox News sock monkey Tucker Carlson . . . "

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Friday, September 18, 2009

"You seem pretty smart. You got a sports coat."



I watched the Community pilot tonight. I would have liked it more if it wasn't centered on Joel McHale's pursuit of a woman who is both younger and better looking than he is. If I wanted to see a shamed lawyer pay his debt to society by associating with a group of poor, unfortunate souls, I'd watch The Mighty Ducks again for the 5oth time.

Yes, readers, I'm going to watch Community again next week. But who doesn't like a good Emilio Estevez reference?

And yes, that's Trudy from Mad Men. Good for her getting work. On a network show, too!

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"Who are you going to go after next? Koalas? Baby Koalas?"



"I mean really!?! Rude! Really!?!"

Really, NBC? I can't embed the video? I mean really!?! Rude! Really!?!

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

This part made me cry.



I remember when video premieres on MTV were events. Now we have endless Real World/Road Rules challenges and that guy with the flesh-colored beard.

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Classy black guy on TV!



I first saw Hill Harper peddling The Conversation last week on The Wendy Williams Show. (Yes, that Wendy Williams Show.) Then I heard him talking about it on The Steve Harvey Morning Show the next day.

As you may know, this is the third book from Hill (or Mr. Harper to Sasha and Malia). He has worked with both Joshua Jackson and with his friend President Barack Obama. Can you say the same about yourself and your friends? I need to be friends with a President. Readers, get on that: One of you needs to be elected President so I can be friends with you. Start the campaigning today.

I like to page through Hill's other books, Letters to a Young Brother and Letters to a Young Sister, while I wak through airport bookstores. So, no, I don't actually own any of the books yet, per se. But you readers should get them, and tell me what you think!

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Monday, September 07, 2009

John Cho in suits!


The Cho Show, by Katherine Wheelock, GQ via Racialicious.


When John Cho was a kid growing up in Los Angeles, seeing a face like his on TV was a cometlike occurrence. When one appeared, "we'd all crowd into the living room," Cho says. "All Asians grew up doing that." The situation has improved only somewhat in the two decades since Long Duk Dong, Cho says. "There was a while where every role I was getting offered was extremely noble—like the judge or the kindly nurse."

Lucky for us, Cho is doing some actual heavy lifting in Hollywood these days—leveling Romulans alongside Chris Pine in Star Trek ($250 million) and rolling blunts for a possible third Harold & Kumar film. His fan base of geeks and frat boys [and me!] ought to program their TiVos for Cho's latest endeavor, FlashForward, which ABC is promoting like it's the next Lost (no pressure!). Judging from the first episode, we think this one might actually deliver. [ . . . ]


That is all.

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Saturday, September 05, 2009

"Chris, you're handsome and charming."



"You really should work on that."

The last time one of my friends suggested I watch a new series on ABC, I discovered the joy of Ugly Betty. This time, however, I got depressed after watching Dating in the Dark. It was sad how the couples in the house originally connected through every sense except for sight. But when they saw each other in the light, the image of the other person failed to exactly match their preconceived notions of what their ideal mate should look like. And thus, most of the brief relationships fell apart. :(

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Thursday, September 03, 2009

How dare he talk to our children?


Obama speech to students draws conservative ire, by Libby Quaid and Linda Stewart Ball, AP via Yahoo! News. Emphases mine.


President Barack Obama's back-to-school address next week was supposed to be a feel-good story for an administration battered over its health care agenda. Now Republican critics are calling it an effort to foist a political agenda on children, creating yet another confrontation with the White House.

Obama plans to speak directly to students Tuesday about the need to work hard and stay in school. His address will be shown live on the White House Web site and on C-SPAN at noon EDT, a time when classrooms across the country will be able to tune in.

Schools don't have to show it. But districts across the country have been inundated with phone calls from parents and are struggling to address the controversy that broke out after Education Secretary Arne Duncan sent a letter to principals urging schools to watch.

Districts in states including Texas, Illinois, Minnesota, Missouri, Virginia, Wisconsin have decided not to show the speech to students. Others are still thinking it over or are letting parents have their kids opt out.

Some conservatives, driven by radio pundits and bloggers, are urging schools and parents to boycott the address. They say Obama is using the opportunity to promote a political agenda and is overstepping the boundaries of federal involvement in schools.

"As far as I am concerned, this is not civics education — it gives the appearance of creating a cult of personality," said Oklahoma state Sen. Steve Russell. "This is something you'd expect to see in North Korea or in Saddam Hussein's Iraq."


That uppity so-and-so. He needs to know his place. Who does he think he is? The President of the United States?

Oh. Really? He is? Well, if you say so.

I would have loved if President Clinton had spoken to our class on television during the first day of school. Actually, I would have preferred Vice President Gore, because he was trying to save the environment. An address from Hillary Clinton would have been nice, too. What I'm saying is any excuse to watch TV during elementary school up through high school probably would have been appreciated by me and my classmates.

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

"That toaster's a power bottom."



"But sometimes companies make ads just for gays that air on Logo, and occasionally the other Logo, where, let's face it, no straight person will see that ad."

Ha!

"Separate but equal jeans. A concept that's always worked well in America. Because God forbid people see a gay puppet on any of these shows."

Ha ha!

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Like Hello Kitty,


no Asian or Asian-American women were allowed to speak on camera in The Slanted Screen. (Thanks, Margaret Cho!)

Other than actively not acknowledging half of the population, I enjoyed the film. It featured Asian and Asian-American actors talking about how Asian men have been portrayed in American media. I do understand that the film was about Asian men. However, at the end of the film, the actors talked about how change is on the horizon, and how (at the time shooting) Bobby Lee, John Cho and Margaret Cho had studio deals, so things would get better. Considering I can count five Asian characters of any gender on the upcoming fall primetime lineup, and maybe five more on cable, I do not agree that things will get better quickly at all. But if things were to get better, it would help if the film had mentioned the stereotypes that actresses of Asian descent face in television and movies. Their struggles are related and come from similar sources of prejudice and discrimination. So it would have been nice to include the women, too.

I would have been content if the film had even one Asian or Asian-American actress sitting on camera talking about anything. But the three women that were allowed to speak on camera in the film were all white, and not actors. The three women did share insightful studies of how media affects children and the problems surrounding casting and writing. One study showed that children want to see representations of themselves in their media so that they can have role models. In another study, the children expected that white people in television and movies would have roles of authority, black people and Latino people would have subservient roles, and Asian people would not be on the screen at all.

In the film, Bobby Lee told the camera, "My nickname was 'Long Duk Dong' in high school because of that character, and I think every Asian guy that ever went to an American school earned the nickname Long Duk Dong because of that character." I never thought about that when I was growing up, because I didn't have any Asian classmates until seventh grade. And then he left after eighth grade. But now, that is what I think about when some of my contemporaries laud the accomplishments of the recently departed John Hughes. They make statements like "Sixteen Candles changed my life. That's my story. I love Jake Ryan!" I don't know what a racist Asian stereotype, Molly Ringwald's panties and some naked teenage girl taking a shower had to do with your empowerment as a woman, but to each her own.

In conclusion, watch The Slanted Screen, available on Netflix. It might change your life. Probably not, but it's still good.

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Whenever I hear the words "Thomas Jefferson",


this is what comes to my mind, too:

Thomas Jefferson: The Face of a Rapist, by Renee, Feministe. Emphases mine.


Americans look at Thomas Jefferson and see the one of the authors of the Declaration of Independence, a statesman, a former president and one of the founding fathers,’ however; when I look at him, I see the face of a rapist. When Jefferson first met Sally Hemings, his slave through inheritance, she would have been no more than 15 or 16 years old. It is rumoured that when she returned from France with him, that she was already pregnant with his child.

[ . . . ]

No matter how many times Black women have angrily contested the use of the term love affair between Hemings and Jefferson, it continues to be the most common descriptor by those who believe the DNA evidence. This assumes that Hemings actually had the power to deny Jefferson sexual access, or that Jefferson had a right to Sally’s body for the purposes of sexual gratification. Both suppositions are erroneous. Due to the patriarchal nature of gender relations, many men believe that they exist with the right to access women’s bodies and that is specifically grounded in the power imbalance between the genders. If we can acknowledge in a modern context that a power imbalance exists between men and women, how much more likely is it that this same imbalance existed between Jefferson and Hemings?

Some may look back at Jefferson and simply claim that he was a man of his time and that he should not be judged outside of historical context, however; in my mind a rapist is a rapist. What he did at the time may not have been considered a violation due to current race and gender relations, however; today we can correctly name his actions. Sally did not have the power to consent to his advances even if she was so inclined; this simple fact must be affirmed not only to honour the memory of Hemings but to change the social understanding that Black women’s bodies are unrapeable. We are not naturally licentious whores who exist to fulfill the sexual fantasies of depraved racist men. We are women that must be accorded the right to control over our bodies without punishment for any decisions we make in that regard.


And yet, Mr. Jefferson has a memorial in my nation's capital. (So does his fellow slave-owner and noted tax-evader George Washington.) This is despite the fact that Meredith Simons at the controversial site Double XX does not think we in the United States live in a rape culture, mainly because she doesn't seem to know anyone who has been raped.

I have never owned anyone, assaulted anyone, or started a war with Great Britain. Yet where is my national monument?

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I thought I'd like Drop Dead Diva,



but it is no longer appealing to me. The obvious reason is that there is no one featured on the show who is darker than a brown paper bag. No, I'm generous. None of the main characters on the show is darker that a sugar cookie. That includes the only nonwhite main character, and the most famous actor on the show--Margaret Cho--who is relegated to being the assistant of the main character, Jane. It appears that the creators of Drop Dead Diva said to themselves, "we've got one character who is all subversive with her fatness, and one character who insists upon being Asian. Make sure that every other main character on the show is white, heterosexual, thin, American, predictable and conventionally attractive. This is Lifetime, people. We think we know what the audience wants, and we keep giving it to them."

Aside from the lack of diversity, I am disappointed that the show is uninspired. Most of the characters are either shallow or lack depth, which are two different things. Regarding the depth, two of the supporting characters do not seem well thought out by the writers. Regarding the shallow, four of the characters select their potential mates based mainly on their appearance. This is despite the fact that the premise of Drop Dead Diva is supposed to be about a young, thin girl trapped in an older, fat woman's body to teach her a lesson about being a better person. But even her guardian angel Fred, whom I adored in the pilot, has now fallen in love with and stalked a woman solely based on her societally acceptable appearance. A woman who has no discernible source of income, nor a desire to get a job.

Ergo, not watching the show anymore.

Surprisingly though, on the Fox Reality Channel, I do like Househusbands of Hollywood. The first episode got funny at the end, when that one husband was so proud of the man cave he had created in his garage, and then his wife drove her car inside, almost running over his five friends.

You can watch the trailer here:




I don't know what all the pixelation is for. Yes, that is Ron Johnson and Vanessa Huxtable. No, I didn't know they were together until I heard about the show. They don't have any kids, so I don't know why he doesn't have a job. Well, aside from being a Househusband on TV.

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Monday, August 17, 2009

I would go to a movie with both of them.



Best YouTube comment, by star0shadows:


Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you are officially invited to the party in my pants.


~ ~ ~





Meaning, I would watch a movie in a theater with each of them sitting next to me. However, I think that Mr. Wood would be more interested in Mr. G-L than he would be in me. (Yes, I did watch the Season 3 premiere of Mad Men last night. Did you?) Or maybe not. I am adorable and charming, as you readers know. :)

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Sunday, August 16, 2009

"She wants her America back? Go tell that to the Indians."

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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Meaning the Native Americans, not the people from South Asia.

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"Don't make me bring the OG Claire McCaskill out here."




"Just act right."

Funny! And poignant. Who knew the GOP and the Wu Tang Clan were actually the same people? Have you ever seen them in the same room? There you go.

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Part of the Problem


This week I was having a conversation with one of my new friends, which went something like this:

New friend: "Let's talk about your dating life."

Me: "Let's not. It's terrible."

New friend: "Really?"

Me: "Really. Guys aren't that into me."

New friend: "That's hard to believe. You're great!"

Me: "Yeah, I know. I am great. But . . ."

And then I never know exactly what to say after that, because the friend that I am talking to is rarely another black woman. So the friend does not fully comprehend the background of racism, sexism, colorism, sizeism, and general discrimination and bigotry that is involved when dating, specifically when dating in the United States. It is difficult to explain that, for many male people my age, the person I am on the outside--and sometimes on the inside--is unacceptable. I am not what they had in mind. I am not what they grew up with. Even if my packaging is what they grew up with, the image of me, to them, remains generally inferior; it is not an image which they aspire to have as a partner.

It is hard for me to encapsulate all that pain in one sentence. It would take weeks for my friend to exit their well-constructed comfort zone and learn about gender studies and the history of institutional racism in the US. Then that friend would also have to recognize and accept that those social phenomena continue to negatively affect people like me, despite the few exceptions to the many rules. Watching Killing Us Softly 3 by Jean Kilbourne would be a start. They could also read the posts below:

Tameka Raymond's HuffPo Op-Ed on Colorism Is A Must Read, by ActsofFaithBlog, Acts of Faith In Love and Life.

"She's Pretty for a Dark-Skinned Girl...", by Tameka J. Raymond, The Huffington Post. Emphases mine.


I am a dark-skinned African American woman with features that reflect my ancestry. Debates regarding Light vs. Dark and other biases have plagued our race for years and continues to impact millions of Black women. The deeply rooted intra-racial contempt that lies beneath this inane "compliment" is the reason I've chosen to spark dialogue surrounding the topic of self-hatred in our culture. It saturates every aspect of our lives, dominating the perspectives of our generation as a whole. We culturally are so influential, at times inadvertently, that we affect all with the words we utter and the images we portray. It lends to the theory of systemic racism. I'm authoring this piece because I'm miffed by this reality and would like to share my views on these subjects.

[ . . . ]

Often dark-skinned women are considered mean, domineering and standoffish and it was these very labels that followed Michelle Obama during the campaign for her husband's presidency and which she has had to work tirelessly to combat. I was appalled when I heard a Black woman refer to Michelle Obama as unattractive. The conversation turned into why President Obama picked her as his mate. No one in the witch-hunt made reference to the possibility that Michelle Obama was smart, funny, caring, a good person, highly accomplished or brilliant. Nor did they mention that she previously was President Obama's supervisor. If she were fair skinned, petite with long straight or wavy hair, would the same opinions be linked to her? I seriously doubt it. It is believed that for the dark skinned, dreams are less obtainable.

In fact, I have read similar comments about myself that I am "dark, aggressive, bossy and bitchy." It has been stated that my husband should have been with a "younger, more beautiful" woman. Astoundingly, the majority of the remarks come from African-American women and are mimicked by others. Sadly enough, I don't know nor have I met 99% of those making these assertions. Funny, how we can judge another without having personally seen, interacted with or experienced a person's character.

[ . . . ]

Reading magazines, social media sites, watching our music videos, and television shows feed our appetites for all things 'beauty". Rarely, however do I see depictions of grace and elegance in the form of dark complexioned women.

[ . . . ]

It is my hope that our First Lady and others who share in this effort will continue to be the beacon to shine a light for those who toil on America's beauty totem pole. Now don't get me wrong or take my words out of context. I truly believe that everyone has a right to delineate what they deem is attractive, but we must not confuse perceived "attractiveness" with authentic "beauty."


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Saturday, August 15, 2009

I'm not old. Yet.



Thank goodness I have a few more years before I have to take all those pills. But what about Sally Field and her Boniva?





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"It’s Been A Long, Been A Long Day"


Three chapters completed! An excerpt from Ch. 19:


A few hours later, we sat on the bed, paging through my senior yearbook. A Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon played in the background.

“Things that make you smile,” He read from the Question Pages in the middle of the book.

“My nieces and my nephew.” Meaning Colby. The other nephews needed to learn how to behave. “Okay, next. If you could script the plot for your dream tonight, what would it be?”

“Me as Wolverine from X-Men. The movie.”

“The second one? Also known as, my favorite one.”

“No, the first one,” he replied with no hesistation. “Otherwise known as the best one.”

“My turn again. Things that make you go hmm . . . ”

“Duck-billed platypuses. Platypi? Mammals laying eggs.” He took a bit of the Croissant Hot Pocket in his hand, with the silver and white microwave sleeve still attached. “Now my turn. If you could have your SAT score be 1400 simply by having an ugly scar on your face, would you do so?”

“I had over a 1400, and I had scars. I think it would be 2100 now. And I still have scars.” I lean in to show him my cheek. But as I placed my finger on my face, I shrank away from him.

“What’s wrong? Are you having a flashback? You don’t really have to take another standardized test again. Sometimes I have nightmares that I have to retake the LSAT. Then I wake up shaking, all sweaty and scared.”

“I’m not Fancy Bianca.” I looked at my clean, pinkish fingertips, which had no cocoa-colored powder or concealer on them. “I’m Casual Bianca.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This morning I put on my GMAT outfit, so I would be as comfortable as possible. Then you called, and we went to Johnny Rockets. But I didn’t change my clothes, or deal with my,” I lowered my voice, “dermatological issues.”

“Okay . . . ?”

“So I’m still Casual Bianca.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I wanted to be Fancy Bianca! I wanted to look nice.”

“You look fine. We got burgers, not filet mignon.” Mike furrowed his brow. “If I’m following what you’re saying, which is doubtful, you’d rather be fancy than casual? That doesn’t seem like you, though.”

“I like being casual. With my friends.”

“I’m not your friend?”

“You are, but,” I exhaled. “I want people to like me for who I am. So I show them Fancy Bianca first. By the time they see Casual Bianca, they already like me. So they won’t run away.”

“Why would they run—That’s insanity.”

“No, that’s LA. And the rest of American society. People judge you by an impossible standard of looks, which I could never measure up to. So I try to make the best of what I have. I try to look normal.”

He swallowed the last of the Hot Pocket. “You’re a piece of work.”

“So are you, kid.”


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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Another chapter completed!


"Cake!" 19 more chapters to go. An excerpt:


If I had to choose between a burgeoning rock star whom I had spoken with for a total of less than ten minutes, and a Senator’s entry-level assistant whose light brown eyelashes had burned a permanent image in my brain . . . Someday I would learn to pick the hot, unstable guys over the adorkable, dependable ones. But that day was not today.



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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

I finished one chapter!


Only 20 more chapters to go. An excerpt:


I woke up in the morning next to him. I was surprised. One, he was still there, and two, he was still asleep. I needed to go to the bathroom. I rolled out of bed quietly to go pee pee and brush my teeth.

I returned to my room. It was almost 6:00 am, but being the end of June, the sun was shining brightly through the blinds near his feet. He was rolled up against the wall, breathing deeply. How was I going to sneak back into bed?

I eased myself onto the mattress, one body part at a time, in hopes of not jostling him. I snuggled back into my space, and posed my arms and legs into savasana, which was not the first yoga position that came to mind when I thought about him.

He turned over and wrapped his left arm around me. “Hello,” he said into my left shoulder. His eyes remained closed.

“As you can tell, this is not a Tempur-Pedic bed.”

He opened his eyes. “Does that make me a spilled glass of red wine?”

I raised the blanket and pointed at his pants. “That doesn’t look like wine in your pocket.”

He placed his hand over his crotch. “I’ll be right back.” He scooched down the bottom edge of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

When he came back, he climbed around me to get back in the bed, in the exact same position. He draped his arm across my body again. “How could you possibly think you were going to sneak out of this tiny bed?”

“I had to go to the bathroom. You were completely passed out, snoring, so there was a chance you’d stay asleep.”

“I do not snore.”

“Dude. You totally snore.”

“No, I don’t.”

I lifted my head to pull out the braids stuck behind my back. “Yes, you do. It didn’t wake me up, but I heard it. It sounded like a cartoon snore, where the tissue blows up over your nose from the air shooting out.”


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Sunday, August 02, 2009

My husband won't be doofy.



Well maybe doofy, but not functionally incompetent. And he will be cooking and cleaning, because he will be a grown adult. But if he ever forgets his own birthday, that means it is time to take him to the special doctor.

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I'd have to see it to believe it,


Aubrey Plaza: Funny person, by Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times. Emphases mine.


"I wasn't just the love interest . . . the girl you fall in love with for no reason just because she's there," [Aubrey Plaza] said. "It wasn't like, 'All the jokes go to the men, you just stand there and look pretty.' I think allowing me to be funny and weird and on the same page as the guys hopefully made it more real."

[ . . . ]

In "Funny People," Plaza plays Daisy, an L.A. arriviste who is a neighbor to the competitive young comedians played by Rogen, Jason Schwartzman and Jonah Hill. Also an aspiring stand-up, she soon becomes enmeshed in a romantic triangle with Rogen, who just landed a job as assistant to a more established performer played by Adam Sandler, and Schwartzman, star of a cheese-ball sitcom called "Yo Teach . . . !"

[ . . . ]

"Her experience in Hollywood is supposed to be similar to Seth's character," Apatow said. "Seth wants to make it in the business, so he attaches himself to this more successful older comedian. And she just moved to town and makes the mistake of sleeping with the first semi-successful actor she meets. I wanted it be the worst, messy courtship you can imagine."

For her part, Plaza has no reservations about being "the girl" in a Judd Apatow movie, and feels she was given equal footing to her male co-stars, down to the scene in which she expresses to Rogen her second thoughts about her dalliance with Schwartzman's character.


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Musings from a black woman: Me too!




Not looking for things to get pissed off about, by nails at skeptifem. Emphases mine.


I have been trying pretty hard to avoid finding day ruining sexism and racsim, but it just isn’t working out. I don’t have as much time these days to go venting my emotions via blogulation, though I hope I will have more next semester. Nothing is more dismissive of the experiences of women and minorities than the accusation that extreme offense only comes out of ‘looking for something to get pissed off about’. Nothing could be further from the truth. Here is a template for my days:

So, I go to work and stuff like this happens:

*patients aggresively tell me or my coworker “SMILE” because we do not display unending cheer at being in the presence of dudes


[ . . . ]

Note to readers: I despise that "Smile" one, particularly when it comes from my (female) gym class instructors towards our mostly female class. Who feels like smiling while doing lunges and squats? No one, that's who. So back up, people! I smile when I am happy. If you're not happy, you should feel no obligation to smile for the benefit of others. No wonder so many women fake orgasms. Heaven forbid women admit that they are not enjoying themselves.


*people ask my coworker if I am a lesbian, or sometimes they ask her if I am a dude if they only get a quick look at me. I can’t imagine them needing that information unless it would funadmentally change our interaction somehow.

[ . . . ]

*the breast scar capsules of women who have had their implants go horribly wrong arrive in the lab in a tub of blood and formalin. A pathologist will look into it.

*my boss asks me if I have had any ‘cat fights’ with my coworker, and tells everyone how I didn’t laugh about it and how weird is that.

*a guy who just got promoted to oversee our whole department sends out an email called “why I am afraid to exercise”, the joke is literally nothing but pictures of women who are body builders. I have to fill out some sexual harassment form thingy which is supposed to shield me from retaliation but I am not counting on it.

[ . . . ]

So I watch some tv instead, and an ad for the ugly truth comes on. It’s a movie where the writers bust out that popular template of a lady, the one with a good career and an empty life because she isn’t impregnanted or married. So, she needs help from someone to change her personality or otherwise decieve a man into loving/impregnating her. A review informs me that this movie was written by three women who have apparently internalized the message that they are worthless when not maintaining pornulational compliance. In this case gerard butler is the misogynist savior, who plays a shock jock who tells her that she needs to take off her clothes and quit having opinions before guys will like her. It works when she does it, and instead of being angry about it she accepts it as the nature of things. She eventually falls for the radio douche, who pets the dog to convince us all he is a good person (the dog in this case is his orphaned nephew, aww).



I totally did not see that fakakte ending coming. Ha! No, I did.


Horrible movies get made all the time, but this kind of shit is akin to the already offensive black cop/white cop comedies ending with the black one realizing that whitey’s advice that he uses his savage jungle nature to scare suspects into compliance really was the right way to do things, and thank goodness he found his place in the world through his oppressor. The awfully racist old style cartoons have for the most part been banned from airing on tv these days, but I can still hear a babysitter go “hehehe, math is hard” on the phone during an episode of tom and jerry. Movies like the ugly truth are being put out constantly, they make it through marketing meetings and production and people buy into it. There are tons of movies every year with outright woman hatred as the main spectacle that people just love, usually between saying that there isn't a need for feminism anymore.


Again, not just me. I don't want to complain about movies and TV shows that I expected to love. But I get disappointed because it's 2009 and writers can't conceive that rampant sexism and general bigotry is not acceptable in our media.

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Saturday, August 01, 2009

"Do you think this is a teachable fart?"

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTasers



Yes I do, Stephen.


~


"I can never go to the library and take out books again. No longer. Because they banned me from the library."


The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - Library Crime
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTasers


Reading is fundamental. As long as you pay your taxes in the correct district. Don't give me any excuses about being "a 7-year-old child." Books aren't free!


~


"You can't take 'fathers' out of 'founding fathers'. There's nothing more fatherly than wigs and capri pants."


The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tip/Wag - Man-Words & Movits!
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTasers


Hee hee, Tucker Carlson. He never gets better.

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