I Don't Want to Be

any of these losers: AMPTP Dedicated To Feeding Delicious Content To Hungry Screens, from Defamer.





Also, TV Blogs Go Dark in Solidarity with the Writers Guild of America, by Liz at Glowy Box, via Defamer.

On November 13th, this blog and the blogs listed below will be on strike for the day in solidarity with the Writers Guild of America. As fellow writers and as TV fans, we are coming together to express our strong support for the writers and their goals. We believe that when a writer's work makes money for a company, that writer deserves to be paid . . .

You may notice, as TheStarterWife did, that Television Without Pity is conspicuously missing from that list of 17, even though its arguably most famous contributor of yore is a strike captain. As far as I know, the blog, which is now owned by Bravo/NBC Universal/GE/The Sheinhardt Wig Company, has not mentioned the strike once. Last year, before the takeover, I'm pretty sure the strike would have taken up a whole lot of space on the front page, with recappers' hypotheses and Mondo Extra interviews with writers on the front lines. If the TWoP co-founders Tara Ariano and Sarah D. Bunting are really "[maintaining] complete editorial independence, despite now being a tiny division of General Electric", then they are doing a sucky job. Also, the new TV Guide-esque design of the site looks stinky-pooh.

Here is the original:

And here is the terrible upcoming remake:


The original co-stars had an age-differential of nine years. The current co-stars were born twenty years apart. TWENTY. What is that about?

Get Smart is still one of my favorite shows, and now this abominable new film is ruining it for me. Curse you, Anne Hathaway.

For now, enjoy this original hilarity:


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"I'm talking about Big Companies, and their Two-Faced Fat Cat Executives."

Because I'm too lazy to write my own Gossip Girl recaps:

"What's with the business formal? Are you being arraigned for something?": Gossip Girl, by Carrie at South Dakota Dark.

You can read my feelings in the comments section that follows.

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Victor, Victrola, by Jacob at Television Without Pity.

"What if there was this gay serial rapist who accidentally fell in like with his best friend's girlfriend, who was kind of his best actual friend, because they were kind of rapists together, and they got together in the seamiest, creepiest way...but you were cheering them on the whole time, and kind of got teary when they sealed the deal, even though it was presented in weird '90s Nine Inch Nails jumpcuts played against weird '00s emo-punk-rock crap? Like their creepiness cancels each other out and it's kind of...sweet? Like, 'Way to lose your virginity to the gay best friend of your shitty boyfriend'?"

~

‘Gossip Girl’ Exceeds Our Expectations … Again!, from New York Magazine's Daily Intelligencer.

• Okay, so Vanessa sneaks in while Dan and Serena are making out, which brings to bear the question we've been wondering since she first stepped foot through his window. What if he were masturbating?? This is high school, not Clarissa Explains It All; you can't just sneak through a boy's window without warning if you don't want to see some frighteningly awkward hunching maneuvers and a flash of low-grade Internet porn. Minus 5.

• Aha! Only a few minutes later, Vanessa comes in and Dan is looking at porn. Except he's still not masturbating. Not to be vulgar, but in what world would that happen? Minus 5, for willfully and repeatedly ignoring the libido level of a high-school boy. These creatures will hump APPLE PIES, people.

Josh, if you're reading (fingers crossed!), did you write this third one? Because I don't know many bloggers who can work in an effective Clarissa Explains It All reference.

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My thoughts on this week's 30 Rock:

"A whale is trouble! I have to go." Love love love Al Gore.

"What do you do with the Pop-Tart?!" Ewww. Poor Liz Lemon.

Also, Mr. Pancholy, please get more press so I can link to you in a Joseph Gordon-Levitt manner. You are so funny and talented. You're like a primetime broadcast version of Lloyd.

I didn't realize until right now that David Schwimmer wasn't playing himself. He was playing a previously out of work actor named "Jared." Right.

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I haven't finished watching The Office yet, but my initial thoughts include these: Jim, everyone likes to have their own special day on their birthday. I know I do. (Winky-wink.) Kate from Jon & Kate + 8 acknowledges this, and she has eight kids who share two birthdays. You only have thirteen employees for an entire year. Plus, party planning is Angela's entire reason for being. Let everyone have their own day and their own cake.

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"There's No Money To Be Made On The Internet"

Michael Eisner and Jeff Zucker should talk to Oprah:

Oprah Meets YouTube. Who's Bigger?, by James Poniewozik at Tuned In.

Someone evidently informed Oprah Winfrey that there was a medium that she did not yet own a major piece of. And you know what happens when someone tells Oprah that. And so it came to pass that Oprah set up her own YouTube channel.

You'll have to click on the link, because on the Oprah channel, "Embedding [is] disabled by request." Which defeats half the purpose of posting videos on YouTube.
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My favorite Strike videos today

Found first via Stephanie's Soap Box:

The Office is Closed




Why We Fight

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Found via pamie.com:

WRITER SPEAKS OUT

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From Defamer, Defamer Visits The Paramount Picket Line, starring Stanford Blatch and a naturally lovely Rhoda Morgenstern. I can't embed the video, so click on the link.

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In Rape Today

Eight teen rapists go free after taping their crime, by Jessica at Feministing.

Eight teen boys in Australia were given a slap on the wrist after sexually assaulting a 17 year-old girl, taping the assault, and distributing it as a porn movie.

The girl was filmed performing oral sex on two boys, had her hair set alight, was spat at and urinated on during the incident at a park at Werribee, inMelbourne's outer-west, in June last year.

...A DVD of the attack - which was titled 'C**t the Movie' - was distributed throughout the community, the court heard.

The most poignant comment so far has come from Blitzgal:

You know what stands out the most for me in this case? Six guys in Jena, LA were charged with attempted murder and conspiracy for beating up a guy who was then well enough to go to a school function the same evening. They literally faced decades in prison. Many of them were the same age range as these guys. Just to put it in perspective. Rape simply isn't treated as a serious crime. Period. Bodily assault is treated with more severity.

The problem is that rape is bodily assault. So is setting someone's hair on fire. Rape is not about sexuality. It is about violence and control and humiliation. And in this case, it is about a society that encourages violence against women in particular, and condones depraved, unforgivable behavior by eight individuals who, in a different world, would be justifiably "released."

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Marital Rape, by Courtney at Feministing.

You all know I have complex feelings about my girl Oprah (evidenced by the title of my book review column), but right now she is doing a great service. I'm watching her show on marital rape and it is both horrifying and such a relief that more national airtime is being devoted to this critical and neglected issue. She just told viewers that 1.5 million American women are raped or sexually abused every year by an intimate partner...

I'm trying to watch the episode now. I get so frustrated and angry when I read these stories and I watch these shows, with these stories of women who stay in relationships with men who abuse them mentally, physically and emotionally. Women who don't recognize the abuse because they married to their abusers. Women who think their wedding vows have deservedly condemned them to a life of misery. Women who put their shattered matrimonial dreams first, and their own well-being last.

There is so much that can be said and has been said on the subjects of rape, sexual assault and abuse. Here are two more sentences:

• If you have been forced to perform sexual acts against your will, you have been raped.

• If you have forced someone to perform sexual acts without their consent, you have committed an act of rape.

For a more educated view on the subject, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Dirty Old Women

and a few men too: BWE SLANG: The "Reverse Savage", by Michelle Collins at Best Week Ever, via Stephanie's Soap Box.

The Reverse Savage is a term indicating a child star who was once not that cute, and then grew up to be extremely cute. It derives from the child star Fred Savage, who, as the main character on The Wonder Years, was an extremely crush-worthy youngster with an adorable face. Once grown, however, his youthful features morphed into a sort of unusual adult male face, the result being the man was no longer nearly as adorable, his career dead in the water.

The Reverse Savage describes the opposite effect — a child star who while not necessarily being the cutest kid or young adult, grows up to be extremely successful and attractive.

Ryan Reynolds, Lucas Black, Jake Gyllenhaal, all great examples. Though I must disagree with drreamerr, who chimed in with "Both Ryan Gosling and Joseph Gordon-Levitt." No. Both of them were always cute.

My favorite comment came from Jenn:

I want to be Mrs. George Michael (from Arrested Development, not the gay guy)

Thanks for clearing that up, Jenn. Because the only reason I wouldn't be with the drug-addicted, bathroom-trolling, reckless-driving former front man for Wham! is his gayness. Right. I'm sure Michael Cera rests easier at night knowing that people can tell him apart from the singer due to their divergent sexual orientations.

Yes, that is Jonathan Lipnicki featured above, and he turned out pretty well. Carrie, Stephanie, take a step back: he's 17.

Falling in love all over again

T Style: Men's Fashion Fall 2007, from The New York Times Style Magazine. Thanks, anonymous!



If you all can stop swooning for a moment, there is also a related article: Kid Rock, by Lynn Hirschberg.

During college I started to miss acting. I started auditioning for movies. That’s how I got the part in “Mysterious Skin.”

In that movie, you play a gay hustler. It was a bold decision to take on that role. Were you nervous?

I find it very strange when people say, “How could you make that movie?” I never had any trepidation. When I read the script, I thought the director, Gregg Araki, would want me for another part, the sensitive boy. He said, “No — I want you to be sexy.” I had not heard that a lot. I was always cast as the friend or the nice guy. It’s really great when someone says, “I want you to be the sexy one.”

Yes, it is great. Although no one ever says that to me. :( I would say it to Mr. Gordon-Levitt all the time if I could. :)

It’s interesting that critics consider it riskier from a career standpoint to play a gay hustler than a soldier in an unpopular war, or a psychotic hit man, which you play in your next film, “Killshot.”

As an actor, you have to be open-minded. That’s one of the great aspects of the job. In the real world, people make judgments all the time. But as an actor, you can’t judge. I would rather play someone who is different from me. You can’t be a bigot and be a great actor.

Look at Mr. G-L making sense.

Has Joseph Gordon-Levitt gotten arrested yet?

No More Mr. Nice Guy: LaBeouf Busted For Drunken Walgreens Loitering, and more on the story from The Smoking Gun, via Defamer

Shia LaBeouf, who starred in "Disturbia" and "Transformers," and stars in the upcoming Indiana Jones sequel, was arrested about 2:25 a.m. at the [Walgreens] store at 757 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago police spokesman Marcel Bright said.

A security guard summoned police after LaBeouf refused several commands to leave the store, Bright said.

The guard signed a complaint against the actor, who was cited on a misdemeanor count of trespassing.

Are you still loving The Beef, ladies?

Genius!

Study: Sexist Humor is No Joke, from Live Science via Yahoo!

"We found that, upon exposure to sexist humor, men higher in sexism discriminated against women by allocating larger funding cuts to a women’s organization than they did to other organizations," [Psychologist Thomas Ford of Western Carolina University] said.

"We also found that, in the presence of sexist humor, participants believed the other participants would approve of the funding cuts to women’s organizations," he said. "We believe this shows that humorous disparagement creates the perception of a shared standard of tolerance of discrimination that may guide behavior when people believe others feel the same way."

They could have saved that money and had a conversation with me instead. Or better yet, just give me the money and read my blog. Where is "Western Carolina" anyway?

How would Liz Lemon strike?

Strike Watch: This Week on at 30 Rock, by James Poniewozik at Tuned In. Emphases mine.

"Yeah, to the outside eye, I guess this looks like some pretty lucky people arguing with some very lucky people," Fey said. "We have dream jobs that most people would want to have. That doesn't mean that it's OK for the conglomerates that produce our shows to rip us off." Rip-off, of course, is a subjective term, with the networks and studios arguing that the online distribution of shows--the money from which is the central issue of the strike--is still a financial question mark. Fey, unsurprisingly, doesn't buy it: "These companies clearly smell that the Internet is where their future profits are coming from. If you look at NBC breaking off with iTunes and trying to start their own thing and raise the price, it's because they know this is where the money's going to be."

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Jon Stewart: Worming his way back into my heart

From Defamer: Jon Stewart Reportedly Offering Two-Week Strike Fund To His Picketing Staffers

"In a show of solidarity with his fellow scribes, the Daily Show host has told his writing staff that he will cover all their salaries for the next two weeks, according to a well-placed source. He has also vowed to do the same for writers on The Colbert Report. A Comedy Central spokesman referred my inquiry about this to Stewart's personal publicist, who has yet to respond.

"Stewart's intention, says the source, is to ensure his writers will face no financial hardship should the strike, which kicked off at 3 a.m. local time, conclude within that timeframe."

In comparison, Defamer brings us this memo from Fox:

"The production you are working on may come to completion, or because your particular skills may no longer be needed, you may not be picked up for another week or day (whichever is applicable) under your deal memo (if applicable). Therefore your work on the production may come to an end. Although we are not required by law to provide this notice, we wanted to give you as much notice as possible so that you can make appropriate arrangements."

Fox just keeps on giving.

We Can Blame Oprah

for this: The Vajapocalypse, from WatchTheSoup on YouTube.





You can read the New York Times article here: What Did You Call It?, by Stephanie Rosenbloom.

See how the vajajay madness began: Oprah's Va-Jay-Jay.




Can't get enough of this news story? Read the commentary on Feministing: Vaginas are the new black (so long as you don't call them 'vaginas') and The downside of 'vajayjay'.

I knew there had to be a downside of this 'vajayjay' business. And his name is Michael Smerconish. In an article for the Philadelphia Daily News, Smerconish argues that vajayjay is a fabulous word because it makes men more comfortable, but pisses feminists off. (Who knew?)...

I'm not quite sure where Smerconish got the idea that feminists are "vajayjay naysayers," since he fails to mention one feminist who has a problem with the word--but that's beside the point. The fact that this dude thinks that euphemisms for female genitalia should exist in order to make a more man-friendly vag tells me all I need to know.

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Let's Blame Oprah

Gosh, I’m sorry you don’t feel special anymore, by zuzu at Feministe.

From the “Everything can be blamed on a woman” files: Oprah Winfrey is single-handedly responsible for ruining the marathon.

The piece is an extended, and dishonest, whine about how they let just anybody run marathons nowadays, instead of special, dedicated men who did it for the thrill of competition and the frisson of self-denial — oh, and Americans aren’t winning marathons like they used to, which is Oprah’s fault.

After Oprah won her beef trial, I thought we were done blaming her for the ills of America and the world . And by "we", I do not mean people like me.

Really, ICM?

Strike-Prepping ICM Tells Employees Not To Freak Out When Half Of Their Paycheck Disappears, from Defamer.

Dear Colleagues,

On Friday, November 16th, all employees will receive a paycheck that reflects one week's pay, as opposed to the usual two. This is not a salary reduction. It is simply a change in the timing of when we pay our employees.

We had planned to implement this change to a more customary payroll schedule at the end of December, but with a potential strike on the horizon, implementing this payroll change immediately provides the agency with more financial flexibility.

We know that, for some of you, this may cause some short-term financial challenges, and we wanted to give you as much notice as possible.

Human Resources is available to answer any of your questions.

Thank you,
[redacted]
Human Resources
International Creative Management

My first question would be, "If you don't want to pay me, then why am I still working here?"

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Also: Really, Fox?

Fox Preparing For Possible Strike By Pissing Off Its Assistants, from Defamer.

Over at Fishbowl LA, a disgruntled employee laments that Fox has decided to cut back on assistant overtime to help lessen the financial burden of a strike while leaving their bosses' expense accounts untouched...

Feel the love, people.

South Carolina: Shooting itself in the foot

Colbert won't appear on SC ballot, by Jim Davenport, AP.

South Carolina Democrats squashed Stephen Colbert's fanciful White House bid on Thursday.

Colbert, who poses as a conservative talk-show host on the Comedy Central cable network, filed to get on the ballot as a Democratic candidate in his native South Carolina. His campaign paid a $2,500 filing fee just before the noon deadline, said state Democratic Party Chairwoman Carol Fowler.

However, after about 40 minutes of discussion by top party officials, the executive council voted 13-3 to keep the host of "The Colbert Report" off the ballot.

"He's really trying to use South Carolina Democrats as suckers so he can further a comedy routine," said Waring Howe, a member of the executive council. And Colbert "serves to detract from the serious candidates on the ballot."

But state Rep. Gilda Cobb-Hunter told the committee Colbert could showcase the state "in a way that none of the other candidates on the ballot have been able to do."

"I think you're taking this a little too seriously," she said.

I've never been to South Carolina, and I have no immediate plans to visit. To me, the state is one step up from West Virginia, based on nothing but my ignorance. So when I hear that the top Democratic officials in South Carolina are eliminating the only thing that is giving their primary any attention--positive or otherwise--in a desperately overcrowded election, I must roll my eyes, shake my head and wave my fist in the air. Besides Rudy Giuliani's constant 9/11 mentions and Fred Thompson's unwillingness to express defined interest in actually running for President, this is the dumbest, most self-righteous thing I have heard this month regarding the 2008 election. The month of November just began today, so I'm sure I'll find something to top this by next week.

Every big state, from Michigan to Iowa to Arizona, is trying to make their primary the most important one. But the Stephen Colbert announcement last month brought attention to South Carolina, a state that 1) I did not realize John Edwards was also from until now, and 2) I did not know had a primary at all. If I didn't know these facts, and I've been paying so much attention to this Presidential race and US politics in general, how many other people have become interested in this election, primaries and South Carolina based solely on Mr. Colbert?

As if Stephen Colbert would sully the name of South Carolina Democrats. Those people need to get over themselves.

Some people should not have children.

When I was a child, I occasionally saw other children on leashes held by their parents, usually at the airport or at amusement parks. I thought the concept was silly then; they were children, not dogs. But now, I think leashes should be a requirement for certain kids and their absent caregivers.

Today I sat for about twenty minutes in a public establishment, watching a mother dispassionately call for her three-year-old son to stand beside her. "Dan. Danny? Come over here. Daniel? Dan. Dan. Dan-Dan. Come over here. Come here. Here. Dan? Danny. Come here."

It went on and on, and the boy never came. He continued playing over twenty feet away, not even acknowledging the requests. The mother was wrapped up in her own business; she didn't want to lose her place in line, and she didn't want to expend the energy to either raise her voice or to grab her son. There were stretches of time during which the boy could have wandered outside, or when another adult could have abducted him. It takes less than ten seconds to snatch a child. This child could have easily disappeared multiple times, or he could have injured himself on the large objects in the room, because no one was watching him.

The whole time I was thinking, That would not be my child. Also, despite what some people might assume, the lack of parenting described in the situation above did not involve any black people. When I tell my future children to "come here", they will come immediately, or they can find somewhere else to live. I am the adult. I am responsible for their safety. They need to listen to me. Obeying my commands will not be an option for them to consider. There will be no negotiation.

This incident also came after I finished watching Paternal Instinct this morning on Logo. The two men in the documentary tried so hard for years to have a baby, just like my parents did. I couldn't imagine the absolute horror they would go through if someone stole their children from them. So when I see someone letting their child wander off because they are too lazy to be a good parent, I get upset.

Best Quote of the Day

"This kid has nothing on Joseph Gordon Levitt."

This Best Week Ever hilarity was found via Stephanie and her Soap Box.

"A less sleazy, Asian Jeremy Piven"

I found him! After having no luck with Google searches and being led to this other "Asian guy" by the related TWoP forum, I used my noggin, played my tape of the Office episode again, and paused during the end credits. "Tim Kang" was the only non-Anglo name listed in the guest stars. I checked on IMDb, scrolled down to Additional Details, and confirmed that Mr. Kang is indeed the Cingular guy, even though his Office appearance is not yet listed. So there you go. It only took me three days to figure this out. Brilliant.

In case the title of this post isn't self-explanatory even in context, it comes from the comments on the above video's YouTube page.

Unsolicited Blog Mention!

Look! Someone else has linked to me: The Morning After: Searching for Carrie Fisher, by James Poniewozik at Tuned In.

Though Fey didn't write last night's episode, who else could you imagine making an episode about first-meeting-second-wave feminism so funny, complete with an H. R. Haldeman talking-mailbox joke? (Update: Second wave meeting third wave? Or fourth? Version 2.1 meeting version 3.2? Neither math nor history is my strong suit, but, you know, something earlier meeting something later. Maybe Bianca Reagan can straighten this out.)

I'm pretty sure he is referring to the comment I left under his post, Mad Men Watch: His and Hers. How cool am I? Very! Thank you, Mr. P!

"Yah, this is why I don’t watch this crap."

Women in Competition (How I Met Your Mother), by Purtek on The Hathor Legacy, via Feministe's Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday thread:

A couple of weeks ago, on this thread, I mentioned that men are constantly portrayed as competing for women in a way that makes the woman essentially irrelevant. We use game metaphors to describe the system, but the winner and loser–the agents of participation–are always just the men. The women, I said, are the ball, the object you score with.

How I Met Your Mother decided to construct an entire episode (”The Belt”) around proving this point for me, throwing in the additional jaw-droppingly double-standard driven repetition of the idea that women are competitive bitches.

Barney and Ted have a long-standing competition as to who will successfully have a threesome first (two women, of course). They literally have a belt to give the winner–one of those super-tacky, wrestling championship style things. When Ted meets two women in a bar, he’s at first not sure which one he should go for. He keeps sneaking off to make phone calls to evaluate his strategy–note that he never gives a damn about the personalities of either of the women. One is just as good as the other, as long as making a move on the first doesn’t kill his chances of “scoring”. . .

Lily, who is mainly being ‘one of the boys’ during the whole threesome discussion, gets to be the one to remind us (again, repeatedly) that women who do these things are “sluts”.

It goes on from there. You should read the rest. No, I don't need to watch the episode. No, I don't care if my blog friends and outside friends think the show is funny. Yes, I still heart NPH.

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In semi-related news, Joel Stein can go bleep himself:

This year, I was invited to six Halloween parties, which would not be strange if it weren't for the fact that I'm older than 12. Meanwhile, I was invited to zero New Year's Eve parties last year. People vastly prefer Halloween parties because New Year's Eve involves dressing up like an adult, whereas Halloween involves dressing up like a slut...

...after much research and consultation, I have founded our nation's newest holiday: Slut Day.

It will take place the first Saturday of every August, a time both barren of holidays and plenty hot enough for really degrading costumes. Slut Day festivities include costume parties with themed drinks such as the Lindsay Lohan (just whatever in a giant glass) and, if possible, flat-screen TVs showing the latest celebrity sex tapes and select parts of "Meerkat Manor." Or anything else. Flat-screen TVs are just sexy.

In addition to fixing the Halloween problem, Slut Day also can replace the "Pimps N Hos" parties scattered across the calendar, which are racist and sexist, with an event that is only sexist. That's a 50% reduction in offensiveness.

Immediately after I finished reading this aberration, I composed and emailed the following message to the "columnist":

Dear Mr. Stein,

I used to be a fan of yours. That was until I read your October 26, 2007, opinion piece in the LA Times, in which you stated "I have founded our nation's newest holiday: Slut Day."

I could go on and on for pages on why your article disgusted me. Instead I will refer to the 2004 documentary entitled "Slut" by Rina Barone and Patricia DiTillio. At one point the film was being shown on the Sundance Channel. I'm sure someone with
your connections can get his hands on a copy. I suggest you watch it to understand how deeply this word--and the patriarchal judgment behind it--hurts both women and men.

I also refer you to Feministing, the website which contains the link that led me to your column:

http://feministing.com/archives/007989.html

He has not responded. Oh well.

This could apply to

both Britney and military veterans:

People Person's Paper People

My favorite part of this week's episode of The Office, "Local Ad." Watch the video while you can.


[The video is gone, so you can click here instead.]


For you fellow TV aficionados, what is the name of that ad guy with the thick black glasses in the episode? I have seen him in several commercials probably every day for the past two years, but I don't know who he is. :( You may know as "The Asian guy" in the Cingular commercials:














He has also been the Dad in a Home Depot commercial, and a scientist in both a Shell oil commercial and a pharmaceutical (?) commercial. I am poring through the TWoP forums for info.

I should really direct this actor search energy into something constructive, like promoting world peace. So readers, after you finish perusing the interwebs, give someone a hug.

Stupidest video I've seen today

Purity Pledge via Feministing:



That was until I saw this video that I can't figure out how to embed: O’Reilly: J.K. Rowling Is A ‘Provocateur’ For ‘The Gay Agenda’ Of ‘Indoctrination’ by Matt on Think Progress, which I found via If Bill O’Reilly didn’t exist, we’d have to make him up. by zuzu on Feministe.

I'm a posting fool!

For people like my Mummy

who don't support my desire to yell at people like these in department stores and make them cry:

Mistaken identity by resistance on Resist Racism, via Racialicious

A young African American guy I used to know had two occurrences of mistaken identity in one week. He was washing his very expensive car at his trendy condo building when management came out and told him that he wasn’t allowed to do that. Turned out that they had a problem with homeless people soliciting money for car washes (?). Condo owners, of course, were allowed to use the facilities in the garage for that purpose.

Then he was walking past a restaurant when a man jumped out of a car and handed him the keys. He had been mistaken for a valet.

To me, this was a clear example of how race can blind some white people to everything else. This guy clearly looked wealthy by my standards. He was always extremely well-dressed, lived in a very expensive neighborhood and drove a new sports car...

When walking through a restaurant, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase, a white man stopped me and asked me to take his plate away.

Clearly, assumptions held by those people overrode even clear and obvious information that would indicate I was not in a service position.

Also, for some inordinate reason, white people often seem to mistake me for an employee of home improvement stores. Hello! No orange apron! (But every once in a while I like to answer the questions anyway.) Maybe it’s the tape measure and the manly stride. A white woman once abusively screamed that she wanted to see my manager RIGHT NOW because she did not feel I was helpful. Even after she found out she was mistaken, she did not have the grace to apologize.

They never do.

Maybe my Mummy doesn't get it because this doesn't happen to her on a regular basis. However it does happen to me, and those racist, self-satisfied people need to get out of my face. I have shopping to do, and I don't need to be reminded of my societal inferiority while doing so.

I love babies!

I've addressed this question multiple times,

but some people can't take "institutionalized racism" as an answer:

Why is the Universe full of White people? by the angry black woman.

...maybe SciFi channel just sucks ass. I think that might be the case.

What else can you say about a network that allowed the guy who made the Earthsea movie turn all of the people white except for that one guy? On Stargate the black people are all slaves, but the white people might be slaves or they might be rulers or they might be accountants. On Atlantis they gathered together scientists and military folks from countries all over the world, and yet the only person of color from Earth is the one military guy. All of the other black folks come from another galaxy. From backwards, tribal planets no less. Oh, except for that one Asian chick in that one episode...

...it’s very easy for those who don’t have to think about race (read: white men) to say that ethnic minorities should stop counting how many ethnic minorities are represented in the media they watch (not to mention how they are represented) and just enjoy the fact that there are some. That’s just ignorant, people. Ignorant.

White, heterosexual men have the luxury of being able to turn to 99% of the channels beamed into their TVs and see themselves portrayed in a manner that makes them comfortable and happy. Most white women, do, too. Minorities of most any stripe do not have that luxury. This is especially true of ethnic minorities. Why do we ‘bean count’? Because we can. That’s not flippancy, that’s a fact. I can look at my TV and count the number of black people I see because there are so few of them and they tend to stand out in the sea of whiteness. I’m getting sick of it, myself. How about the rest of you?

I will continue to address the rest of the comments (Thank you, readers!) in the section under my previous post, Don't ask, don't tell....

Shady.

This is the word that describes my day.

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In other news, I loved the Kathy Griffin E! True Hollywood Story. I hope my eventual THS is as downfall-free as hers. Here were the shocking glimpses into Kathy's life: to make up for her virgin status up until age 19, Kathy had sex with a lot of men during the 80s and 90s; also, her husband stole money out of her private account, so she divorced him. Huh.

I also look forward to having friends like Janeane Garofalo, Margaret Cho and Lance Bass who who go on E! and talk about how talented and sensitive I am. Because I am both of those things. I'm not hoping to befriend people who are famous now; I want my current friends to become successful and well known, at least by Best Week Ever standards. So start working on that pilot, that novel, and that ingenious business plan. You know I love you all. XOXO!

Well, at least it's "helping"?

Catholic condom ban helping AIDS spread in Latin America, from Reuters via Yahoo! News.

The rapid spread in Latin America of the virus that causes AIDS is made worse by the Roman Catholic Church's stand against using condoms, a U.N. official said on Monday...

"In Latin America the use of condoms has been demonized, but if they were used in every relation I guarantee the epidemic would be resolved in the region," said Alberto Stella, the UNAIDS Coordinator for Honduras, Nicaragua and Costa Rica.

The Catholic Church, which holds sway in Latin America despite the rise in evangelical churches, opposes all forms of contraception and instead promotes abstinence as a way to avoid spreading AIDS.

These Yahoo! headline writers need some help themselves. How about "AIDS pandemic worsened by idiotic policy masked as religious doctrine"? This isn't just a Catholic thing. According to the US Department of State, it is literally the main thrust of "The President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief."

I don't remember the passage in the Bible where Jesus said, "Don't talk about sex, and don't use condoms." I do remember Jesus saying something about helping the poor and the sick. Many of the people contracting HIV are poor. And if they weren't poor before, they will be soon because those AZT cocktails are expensive.

That is all. :(

Get this woman a show!

Kathy Griffin Goes From D-List To E! True Hollywood Story, via Jezebel, Defamer.

Oh, Kathy already has one? What about Janeane? Get Janeane a show!



Did you notice Rob Thomas's moment of kinda brilliance? He's getting there.

Don't ask, don't tell...

...and don't give the colored folks anything significant to do or say.

That's what came to mind when I first heard the following news: J.K. Rowling Explains Why Uncle Dumbledore Never Got Married, from EW.com via Defamer.

Responding to a question from a child about Dumbledore's love life, Rowling hesitated and then revealed, "I always saw Dumbledore as gay." Filling in a few more details, she said, "Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald.... Don't forget, falling in love can blind us."

The second thing that came to my mind was this: Law and Order's Southerlyn Comes Out on Her Way Out, by Sarah Warn at AfterEllen.

In one of the most famous—and puzzling—conclusions to a Law and Order episode ever, Assistant D.A. Serena Southerlyn (Elizabeth Rohm) was unexpectedly outed at the end of “Ain’t No Love,” which aired on January 12, 2005, when she reponsdeed to her dismissal with the question, “You're not firing me because I'm a lesbian?”

Southerlyn’s unexpected outing is one of the few episodes in Law and Order’s 15-year history that has included a lesbian or bisexual character. Although Law and Order aired episodes about gay men beginning in its very first season, lesbians rarely made appearances on the crime drama until its ninth season in 1999...

To out Southerlyn in her final scene on the series feels a little like having your cake and eating it too: Law and Order gets to expand its diversity of characters and lay claim to a token lesbian among its cast, but avoid the ramifications of it because the character leaves the series immediately after her sexuality is revealed.

In the words of Stephen Colbert--after finding out John Edwards would be challenging his favorite son status in his one-state Presidential bid in South Carolina: What the bleep, y'all?

It's convenient that Ms. Rowling reveals this 1) with hesitation 2) after being asked by a child, 3) after the seventh and final book came out three months ago, and 4) after Dumbledore was killed in Book 6 by the gayest villain since Scar in The Lion King. Apparently it was a-okay for every other character in the Harry Potter series to be as straight as they want to be. But God forbid anyone in the books display any homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender identity, or hint of queerdom at all. It was fine for Ron to whore it up all through Book 6, having a purely physical relationship with Lavender Brown, while unfairly chastising Hermione because she had one date two books ago with Viktor Krum. Dumbledore could have at least alluded to a past relationship, or the special feelings he had for this Grindelwald guy.

I own all seven books, along with the four DVDs that have been released. That doesn't mean I have to like the WASPy, heteronormative patriarchal regressive world that J.K. Rowling ripped off from other books, movies, myths and legends. How original is it to write a fantastical story about an orphaned white Anglo boy who has to save the world? Yes, there's Hermione, the token girl; Kingsley, the big black guy in the Order of the Phoenix who functions as a bodyguard; and Cho and Dean, the vaguely ethnic love interests whose entire existences have been erased by Book 7, so that [SPOILER ALERT!] Harry and Ginny (who has no real personality of her own) can be together in holy white matrimony. The straight white guys get to have all the fun.

So wrong.

What has VH1 come to? The video ended, but Midget Mac was okay. He swam across the pond, but when he reached the dock, New York didn't even try to help him. She didn't want to get her suit wet. And one of the other guys is married? This is now officially worse than College Hill: Embarrassing the VI Edition. Though that won't stop me from watching the I Love New York 2 antics.

It's like he's singing directly to me.

I want to take a trip to the "animal zoo" with you, Mr. Samberg. I will look in your eyes and say, "I'm tripping too."

I know this video aired at the end of last month, but the SNL episode was on again tonight. And no, the rest of the episode was not any better the second time around. Ugh.

My new favorite show

. . . on Logo: Exes and Ohs. It's funny, and the main character is an overanalyzer like I am. Also, Heather Matarazzo plays an delusional aspiring singer/songwriter who calls herself "Crutch." That's reason enough to watch this 30-minute dramedy series.

However, as Sarah Warn said on After Ellen seven months ago, "what's up with a cast of all white women?" Sheryl Lee Ralph, of Dreamgirls and the last season of Designing Women fame, did play the minister in the pilot episode, but all of the main characters and most of the other supporters are white. Harumph. I can't find a suitable role model anywhere. I guess I've still got Tyra. Oy vey.

Smithsonian Magazine's The Last Word

I was alerted by a MySpace bulletin that Reza Aslan is featured in this month's Smithsonian Magazine. I'm not a subscriber, nor was I previously aware that such a magazine existed. However I did read the article online, along with Reza's answers to the magazine's questionnaire entitled "The Last Word". Below are my current answers to the same questions. My responses will change by the beginning of next year.

1. Three words someone else would use to describe me are smart, funny and uptight.

2. My greatest professional influence is Gerry Laybourne.

3. My fondest memory is traveling with my Mummy to New York City.

4. The last book I read was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I'm on chapter four.

5. If I could have dinner with anyone living or dead it would be Al Gore. I have a few more people I would like to dine with, but he's first.

6. Three things I can't live without are water, TV and hugs.

7. The most pressing issue facing the world is the military industrial complex and every inhumane force that comes with it.

8. The most important lesson I ever learned was to work smart, not hard, no matter what your career counselor tells you.

9. My advice for those just starting out in this profession is this: Figure out what you want to do and who you want to be. Make sure you're climbing up the right ladder to success, and don't be afraid to construct your own. Ladder, that is.

10. My motto is: Everybody poops, even celebrities and "elected" officials. So give people the respect you think they have earned, not the respect their publicists have told you they deserve.

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I love how they titled the larger piece "37 under 36: America's Young Innovators in the Arts and Sciences". How specific, yet not so. Also, where's my profile, Smithsonian? I've got a decade before I turn 36, I'm innovative and I'm artsy.

Two lovely people I've never met.

We need more people like these on our screens and in our government. And by "these" people, I mean intelligent individuals who want to move our country and its citizens forward. People who think about social, cultural and political issues, and who encourage others to do the same.

Who's "we"?

I made a comment under this post over at Mr. Smooth's blog, so I hope it eventually appears. Until then, my sentiment is this: who needs to take responsibility for what? Last time I checked, I wasn't making any videos that involved one gender exploiting another. I'm not contributing to the history of misogyny in the United States and around the world. I'm not using racial slurs to refer to my peers, nor am I stating that any and all women I come across are prostitutes and/or female dogs.

This is the same way I feel when I hear people talk about how far the United States has come, and that racism, sexism and homophobia don't exist anymore, because this country was built on democracy and freedom, and it's the greatest country in the world. Most of the people who make those glib, propogandist statements have never left the country. They act like because they supposedly don't know any wife beaters, gay bashers or white hood enthusiasts, everything is fine, and therefore our country is so progressive. Except here's the problem I've often come across: it's not like there has been a large group of nonwhite people perpetrating this institutional bigotry. Meaning, there weren't a bunch of Asian people running the Middle Passage; there weren't a bunch of Native Americans rounding up Japanese American in internment camps; and there aren't a bunch of black people hiring Mexicans and Central Americans for cheap labor while simultaneously enacting discriminatory legislation to keep foreigners from "crossing the border" and "taking our jobs."

I'm not responsible for the bigotry perpetrated on certain non-white, non-male, or non-straight American citizens. I'm not oppressing myself. I'm not one of the people in this country who has "come a long way." I never had anywhere to get to. I've always been here. What needs to be said is the following:

• Certain (white) people in power, and even those not in power, need to stop being racist. I acknowledge that nonwhite racist people exist, but that is another discussion for another time.

• Straight people (and some queer people, too) need to stop hating the LGBT community.

• Men (and certain self-hating women) need to stop oppressing women and end the cycle of misogyny.

We all need to stop acting like the oppressed and the oppressors have, or should have, a equal say in the direction of our country and our society. We don't ask serial killers what we should do to decrease the murder rate. We don't ask rapists how to stop sexual assaults. Mr. Smooth, I agree that there is a discussion to be had about the history and future of hip hop, and the effects hip hop continues to have on our communities. But let's not pretend that every person's opinion is valid and equal, especially the opinions of those "artists" who still choose to making their millions by treating women like worthless whores.

(I'm not saying that sex workers in general are worthless. I'm saying that's how certain recording artists treat the women in their songs and videos.)

We need to tell people, "this behavior is wrong, and you need to stop."

I'm still not watching

Star Trek. Or House.

Yet I will be at Harold and Kumar 2. I'm so weird. Also, I heart NPH.

"Just became self-aware. So much to figure out."

Still watching last night "Launch Party" episode of The Office. My favorite part so far:

Ryan: Yeah, I created a website. Look, at the end of the day, Apple's Apple is flying at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company. And I don't want us to get lost in the weeds, or into a beauty contest.

Ryan's boss, Thomas Dean: I told you, I don't want you doing these things in here. You can use your own office or do it in the hall.

Ryan (now crammed into his own tiny office): Convergence. Viral marketing. We're going guerrilla. We're taking it to the streets, while keeping an eye on the street--Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel. In other words, it is what it is. Buying paper just became fun.

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Next topic: Nobel Spurs Gore Supporters to Urge Presidential Bid, by Jim Malone, VOA News.

Hooray for Al Gore!

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Time to delve into the Yahoo dating advice files! by zuzu at Feministe. Clickety-click on the link, and note that I was First! in the comments. I'm so cool.

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Read my comment here, too: Color adjustment: The return of The Boondocks, by Todd VanDerWerff at The House Next Door, via South Dakota Dark. So far no one has responded to my brilliance under the post, but that's okay.

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From Defamer: Hollywood Women On Working In A Schlong-Obsessed Industry. My favorite comment:

By TheHMSBeagle:

I'm so, so, so tired of this retardo argument about how wah wah wah women should buy tickets to change the world.

Maybe if they gave us some movies that didn't

a) Suck
b) Treat women as disposable backdrops to the hero's journey of some dude
c) Act like Vera Farmiga's role in THE DEPARTED was "A fucking awesome part for a woman" (WHAT.)
d) Pretend that women die en masse at 29
e) Approach the world solely from a male perspective
f) Treat women as, at best, humorless authority figures out to force you to change and generally fuck with your good time, and at worst as sexual objects who exist only to strut across the screen once or twice and then service the hero after he defeats the giant robots

WOMEN WOULD BUY TICKETS.

And Lynda Obst is such a hypocrite. I know for a fact that she's been rejecting female-lead scripts because they have female leads for at least the past year.

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More sad news: Mychal Bell Of 'Jena Six' Ordered Back To Jail, by Kurt Orzeck, MTV.com.

"He's locked up again," Bell's father, Marcus Jones, told AP. "No bail has been set or nothing. He's a young man who's been thrown in jail again and again, and he just has to take it."

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To brighten your mood: Your feminist cute for the day, by Jessica at Feministing.



I'd move to New York to get my daughter into that school. Or, I could use the relocation money to put in her into a good girls' school here in LA. Ha! Like I have money.

Good old-fashioned American values

in Switzerland:

Black Sheep, by Jill at Feministe.

Automatic for the sheeple, by The New Meat, via Feministe.

Swiss Fury at Foreigners Boiling Over, by Molly Moore, Washington Post Foreign Service, via Racialicious.

Clickety-click on the links for the anti-immigrant horror.

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Back in the US of A:

Teen Boys Love Implants Almost As Much As They Hate Period Bloods, Reports Cosmo Girl! at Jezebel, via Feministe.

And, Just when you thought they couldn’t get any lower…, by Jill at Feministe, a story that I originally heard about this afternoon on The Randi Rhodes Show.

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I wonder which blogs I will read and link to tomorrow.

What I didn't like about the Gossip Girl pilot.

From the comments section of the Gossip Girl recap on the site that must not be named:

Allison says:

. . . I have to say I did not approve of the scene where Serena has sex with Blandy McBlanderson [Nate] being interspliced with the scene where Steff/Chuck is trying to rape her. It's just offensive to parlay glorious bar sex with a frickin rape attempt and that idiot Blair child being over-dramatic about Blandy's revelation of the sex scene. That combined with the other attempted rape (two date rape attempts in one episode by the same guy?!) made me feel like the show was normalizing date rape . . .

For more astute observations on this based-on-a-book television show, you can read my comments here, here and here on South Dakota Dark. I'm funny!

Also, there is no need to euphemistically refer to Chuck's actions in the pilot as attempted "date" rape. He wasn't on a date with either Serena or Jenny when he attacked them. He is an attempted rapist and he should be in prison. That goes for real life attempted rapists as well. Because, as we saw in the show, the attempts don't stop even when the victims fight back, and those are only the attempts we know about.

Booo.

My friend Stephanie alerted me to this story today: Warner's Robinov Bitchslaps Film Women; Gloria Allred Calls For Warner's Boycott, by Nikki Finke at Deadline Hollywood Daily. Emphases mine.

This comes to me from three different producers, so I know it's real: Warner Bros president of production Jeff Robinov has made a new decree that "We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead". This Neanderthal thinking comes after both Jodie Foster's The Brave One (even though she's had big recent hits with Flightplan and Panic Room) and Nicole Kidman's The Invasion (as if three different directors didn't have something to do with the awfulness of the gross receipts) under-performed at the box office recently...

Of course, Warner Bros has always been male-centric in its movies. But now the official policy as expressly articulated by Robinov is that a male has to be the lead of every pic made. I'm told he doesn't even want to see a script with a woman in the primary position (which now is apparently missionary at WB)...

Noted women's rights attorney Gloria Allred just gave me this statement in response to what I've posted above: "If that's what he said, when movies with men as the lead fail, no one says we'll stop making movies with men in the lead. This is an insult to all moviegoers and particularly women. It is truly unfortunate that women get blamed for decisions which are made by men. Instead of taking responsibility for their own lack of judgment about which scripts to make, directors to hire and budgets to OK, some men in the movie industry find it easier to place blame for their lack of success on women leads and to exclude talented female actors from the top employment opportunities in Hollywood in favor of macho males. If that studio confirms that their policy is to now exclude women as leads, then my policy would be to boycott films made by Warner Bros."

Even if Mr. Robinov didn't say those exact words, the sentiment of the article still rings true. How many movies this summer had a girl or a woman as the lead character? Not as the way-out-of-the-guy's-league girlfriend, but as a protagonist with her own hopes and dreams outside of existing mainly for her man's pleasure? Now, how many movies this summer featured boys and men? Also, note how many boys and men filled up the supporting roles as well, and think about what kind of supporting roles the few women were left with.

To bring the horrid state of the movie business into focus, name one black female character in any of this summer's feature films. Bonus points if she had any sense in her head. I'll spot you one Alicia Keys in The Nanny Diaries.