Thursday, March 26, 2009
I absolutely love Murder, She Wrote.
The ones with Seth Hazlitt are still my favorites. Ooh, and the ones with Jessica's nephew Grady, too. He keeps picking the wrong women and the wrong employers.
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Monday, March 23, 2009
"You've got a gift, my friend. Don't hide that in a bushel basket."
| Jokes.com | ||||
| Wanda Sykes - Politically Correct | ||||
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My two videos of the day. "Hot Pockets!"
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Sunday, March 22, 2009
What the who what now?
Advertisements for Themselves, by Erica Orden, New York Magazine via The Black Snob.
Madison Avenue is scrambling to adjust to a new era, when the most admired people in America are a black family. To reflect this reality, talent scouts are on the hunt for models who look like the Obama children, Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10.
"People are looking for girls who resemble them," says Charlie Winfield, the head booker at FunnyFace Today.
Tali Lev, an agent with the Gilla Roos agency, keeps links to her "Sasha" and "Malia" model lists on her desktop for easy access. "Photographers even want them for their portfolios."
Marlene Wallach, president of Wilhelmina Kids & Teens, says the First Daughters are tough subjects to match. "It’s a very specific age and a very specific ethnicity, so there aren’t that many girls that would necessarily fit the bill."
A very specific ethnicity? These girls are not Jessica Alba or Rosario Dawson or Dwayne Johnson or Vin Diesel. They are 3/4 black, like most black people in the United States are, if you look far back enough and count up all the pieces.
How hard is it to find tiny black children in New York City? Maybe Ms. Wallach could import them direct from the manufacturer.
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The Girls of Rock and Roll
I spent some of my weekend watching Girls Rock!, which was great. It only took me a year to finally watch it. Readers, you should watch Girls Rock!, too. It is available for rental and for purchase. So get on that.
One of the funniest parts of the movie is during the closing credits. Laura, one of the main girls featured, is talking about her experience. She was adopted from Korea by white parents in Oklahoma, which I've heard is the San Francisco of the Midwest. Oh, it's not. Oh. I thought it was bad enough growing up in St. Thomas trying to explain to other people my concerted fixation on Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood. I think it would be much harder to be the only Asian girl in your town who is into death metal.
Anyhoodle, here is what happened while Laura was talking to the camera:
Laura: If I'm ever, like, in a position where I can help other Asian women especially feel comfortable about themselves. We're different, but it doesn't mean it's bad.
Guy behind the camera: What if we told you that the more you were in this movie, the more it might help Asian girls to feel better about themselves?
Laura: What if I told you that we should, like, have a dramatic reenactment?
Guy: But then a dramatic reenactment would be against the whole point, 'cause isn't the whole point to show Asian girls, "You should be comfortable with yourself"? So why should we have somebody else play you? [He laughs.] Isn't that kinda against the whole reasoning that you're saying?
Laura: Here comes the white man holding me down again.
Guy: [laughs some more]
Laura: Since I was shipped to America to build a railroad, I've been experiencing this, and I don't have to take it.
Hee! That would so be me on camera, worrying that I wouldn't fly in Peoria.
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Friday, March 20, 2009
"The lady will have two tickets to the gun show!"
Not a real gun show; Alec Baldwin's 25-year-old arms.
If only I had bubble problems, my life would be dreamy.
Don't get on Jon Hamm's motorcycle, Liz Lemon!
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Thursday, March 19, 2009
Be you. Do what you do.
Sci Fi becomes 'Syfy'...sigh., Entertainment Weekly.
Even SCI-FI Channel Embarrassed To Admit It Watches SCI-FI Channel; Changes Name To "Syfy", Best Week Ever.
Sci Fi Channel rebranding itself as Syfy. What's next?, Canada.com. International representation!
Note to Sci Fi parent company NBC Universal: Don't change the name of one of your most recognizable networks to an abbreviation for an STD. I didn't think anyone could appear less clever than the writers of Britney's latest single, but Sci Fi President Dave Howe has done it. Congratulations. You now look more attention-seeking and desperate than the creators of a song called "If You Seek Amy."
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Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Et tu, Dora?
The new Dora, by Miriam at Feministing.
This is not good. It is telling that I identify with a round girl who carries a backpack and has a monkey for a friend, more than with a skinny girl whose new defining characteristics are bouncy hair, jewelry and leggings. Leggings are not pants. What kind of adventures can a kid have in non-functional ballet slippers? Ugh.
That reminds me; I should get a monkey friend. Real or imaginary, either or.
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Friday, March 13, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
Neither of them is Hawaiian,
but one is half Samoan (and Canadian!) and the other is partially Japanese. The Japanese one still isn't any part black, so I don't know why he continues to play Barack Obama; I don't think he is channeling the President's white side.
Anyway, the dialogue and setup is funny. I hope that is an actual Hawaiian song.
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Friday, March 06, 2009
"If I had only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today . . . "
" . . . provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars."
Who continues to listen to these financial pundits, and why do they still have television shows? If this is not a clear example of white male privilege, I don't what is.
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Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Debatable
Sarah Haskins declares Twitter war on Jimmy Fallon, by Jessica at Feministing.
That video does look familiar. Even if Jimmy has never watched Current TV, I'm sure at least one of his writers has heard of Sarah Haskins and has seen her work.
The worst part of the situation is that the video is not funny. It only highlights the fact that there is only one woman with a late night talk show (and unfortunately one black guy). There are plenty of funny women--who have experience, as well as large audiences with potential for growth--who would be great late night talk show hosts. Yet the guy who couldn't get through an SNL sketch without laughing gets a 12:35 slot on NBC.
If you're reading this, Mr. Fallon, hello! Thanks for visiting my blog!
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As a potential member
of the one in six, or possibly one in three, I present you with a Public Service Announcement:
There is no such thing as gray rape.
It doesn't matter if you have known a person for six years or for six minutes. As I have stated before, if you have sexual intercourse with someone without that person's consent, it is rape. It doesn't matter if the two of you have had sexual relations for months, or if you have never met before. It doesn't matter if you think you're a good person. Sex without consent is rape. In the words of a prolific comedian who has taken the time to hone his craft quite effectively over the years,
Whatever you’re doing is what you are, everybody. If you’re boozing, you’re an alcoholic. If you’re raping, you’re a rapist. Who cares what your core is?
For further clarification on this topic, please consult the following articles:
Call it what it is., and "Gray rape," cont'd..., both by Ann at Feministing.
Also, rape jokes are not funny. Ever. Those attempts at humor--anecdotes usually shared by men to amuse other men--sound a lot different to the ears of 50% of the population. Especially when that 50% is more likely to be attacked, simply because we were born female.
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Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Bianca, this is your life!
Fashion's invisible woman, by Emili Vesilind, LA Times via some other blog post I can't find now.
When it comes to shopping, the average American man has it made. At 189.8 pounds and a size 44 regular jacket, he can wear Abercrombie & Fitch, American Apparel or Armani. Department stores, mall retailers and designer boutiques all cater to his physique -- even when it's saddled with love handles, a sagging chest or a moderate paunch. In menswear, shlubby is accommodated.
But the average U.S. woman, who's 162.9 pounds and wears a size 14, is treated like an anomaly by apparel brands and retailers -- who seem to assume that no one over size 10 follows fashion's capricious trends.
Capricious trends like finding a suit at Macy's. Not all of the stores carry suits in plus sizes, because larger women don't work in corporate settings or in professional positions ever.
Fashion-forward boutiques such as Maxfield and Fred Segal rarely stock anything over a size 10, and in designer shops, sizes beyond 6 or 8 are often hidden like contraband in the "back." Department stores typically offer tiny sections with only 20 or so brands that fit sizes 14 and up -- compared with the 900-plus brands they carry in their regular women's wear departments.
. . . plus-size clothing is largely relegated to the Internet, where customers who already have a complicated relationship with clothes are unable to see, touch or try on merchandise.
. . . Americans are getting larger, and 62% of females are already categorized as overweight. But the relationship between the fashion industry and fuller-figure women is at a standoff, marked by suspicion, prejudice and low expectations on both sides. The fear of fat is so ingrained in designers and retailers that even among those who've successfully tapped the market, talking plus-size often feels taboo. The fraught relationship between fashion and plus-size is far from new, but seems particularly confounding in a time when retailers are pulling out all the stops to bring in business. Carrying a range of sizes that includes the average female would seem like a good place to start.
I agree; it would be a good place to start. A place to continue would be airplane seats. When the population is getting bigger and also spending less money on air travel, airlines could afford to make accommodations more spacious and comfortable. I don't need my entire lower body to go numb from compression in a tiny space.
It's a which-came-first scenario, Cohen said. Because plus-size women have been ignored for years, they've stopped actively looking for shopping opportunities. But when retailers bring savvy style to the plus-size game (as Gap Inc. did with its short-lived concept, Forth & Towne, which carried fashion-forward clothing for career women in sizes 2 to 20), they often shutter their efforts before they have a chance to bloom.
"Retailers don't have the patience to allow it to evolve," he added. "This is a market that's been underserved for 50 years. Customers are saying, 'For 50 years, you've ignored me and now you expect me to react to it instantaneously?' No."
That's how I feel about many things, most recently about video games for girls and women. Or actually, any media for girls and women. You can't put out a store like Forth and Towne, or a show like Campus Ladies, or a women's radio network like Greenstone and expect it to be an immediate hit. Building a sustainable audience takes time, especially when the people controlling the methods of distribution are not women.
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"I'm from Roosevelt, Long Island. It's not the projects."
Ha ha! Oh dear. It's sad when even black people don't realize that not every black person is from "the projects", or from "Blackville". I'm sure Chuck D gained his street cred while he was studying graphic design at Adelphi University. It looks like a rough campus.
I can see how one could get confused if you got all of your information about black people by watching TV. For instance, if you turned to CNBC to enjoy a show like Newbos: The Rise of America’s New Black Overclass, hosted by Lee Hawkins, you would leave with the impression that the only wealthy black people of note (except for Oprah) are all men who are involved with the entertainment industry in some way and/or have jewelry for teeth. Yes, it was that bad.
The documentary offers behind-the-marquee stories on several high-profile Newbos, including NBA superstar LeBron James, Major League All-Star Torii Hunter, The Williams brothers of Cash Money Records, Dallas Cowboy star Terrell Owens, billionaire entrepreneur and Newbo pioneer Bob Johnson and musician, Multiplatinum gospel star Kirk Franklin, and television network owner Wyclef Jean.
Terrell Owens? Really? You couldn't find anyone else a little less controversial, Mr. Hawkins? As Black Enterprise's Alfred Edmond, Jr., put it:
When did CNBC start airing MTV Cribs?
I can only look forward to this summer's Black in America 2: Electric Boogaloo. Because the first installment was so good.
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Sunday, March 01, 2009
Michael Steele has finally caught up with Mitt Romney.
Where are these "urban suburban hip-hop settings"? Maybe it's the corner where Dave Chappelle met Wayne Brady.
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Le sigh.
Andy Samberg Breaks Caricature, by Joshua David Stein, Out.
Click through to see the behind the scenes video of the cover shoot.
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Sunday, February 22, 2009
"This product is definitely for washing your face."
"Yep."
Ha!
This product is definitely for shaving your legs. This product is definitely for massaging your back.
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Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sad stories of the week
Socks, the Clintons' White House cat, dies, by Kasey Jones, AP.
Socks had reached his late teens — an advanced age for a cat — when reports surfaced in late 2008 that he had cancer and [Bill Clinton's secretary, Betty Currie, Socks's guardian] had ruled out invasive efforts to prolong his life.
"It's not a happy prognosis," presidential historian Barry Landau, a friend of Currie's, said at the time.
Also, Couple divorces but lives in same house to save, ABC News via Yahoo! News. What a mess.
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Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Girls on Film
How come guys talk so much when they have nothing to say, and girls have plenty to say, but no-one will listen?
Where's Our Stand By Me?, by hortense, Jezebel.
I have always loved My Girl 2. It was set in LA, the city I was obsessed with as a teenager. It starred Austin O'Brien, who was no Macaulay Culkin, but still carried his own in the movie. And it had a self-possessed young female protagonist who made enlightened statements like this:
I don't think anybody should change their names [when they get married]. That way you can always find them when you need them.
Yet now, the supposedly clever, edgy girls we get in movies think that embryos have fingernails and when sparkly vampires tell you to stay away from them, they really like you.
So disappointing and sad. And by "sad", I mean horribly distasteful considering the exponential growth of the number of poverty-stricken people in the United States and across the world.
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Thursday, February 12, 2009
Musings from a black woman: Oh, really?
The Election of Barack Obama is just the most startling manifestation of a larger trend: the gradual erosion of "whiteness" as the touchstone of what it means to be American. If the end of white America is a cultural and demographic inevitability, what will the new mainstream look like—and how will white Americans fit into it? What will it mean to be white when whiteness is no longer the norm? And will a post-white America be less racially divided—or more so?
The End of White America?, by Hua Hsu, The Atlantic. Super long post ahead. Pace yourselves, readers.
I first heard about this article on Tuesday's episode of The Colbert Report. So much to break down, so little time. To simplify my point, I will say this: white Americans make up 75% of the United States, the majority of the US Senate and the House of Representatives, the majority of Fortune 500 CEOs, and almost all of the main characters (and supporting characters) in US movies and television. One black family in the White House is not going to displace over 225 million people from their centuries-old dominance in this country.
As Bill Imada, head of the IW Group, a prominent Asian American communications and marketing company, puts it: "I think in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, [for] anyone who immigrated, the aspiration was to blend in and be as American as possible so that white America wouldn’t be intimidated by them. They wanted to imitate white America as much as possible: learn English, go to church, go to the same schools."
Today, the picture is far more complex. To take the most obvious example, whiteness is no longer a precondition for entry into the highest levels of public office. The son of Indian immigrants doesn’t have to become "white" in order to be elected governor of Louisiana. A half-Kenyan, half-Kansan politician can self-identify as black and be elected president of the United States.
However, there seems to be a one-black person limit for the US Senate, as well as for the Supreme Court.
Peter Rosenberg, a self-proclaimed "nerdy Jewish kid" and radio personality on New York’s Hot 97 FM—and a living example of how hip-hop has created new identities for its listeners that don’t fall neatly along lines of black and white—shares another example: "I interviewed [the St. Louis rapper] Nelly this morning, and he said it’s now very cool and in to have multicultural friends. Like you’re not really considered hip or 'you’ve made it' if you’re rolling with all the same people."
"Hey, Guillermo."
"What's up, Jamal?"
"Peter Rosenberg says that Nelly says it's very 'cool' and 'in' to have multicultural friends. And if you do have them, then you've made it."
"Made what?"
"I don't know, Guillermo. I still can't get a job with my degree in Sociology."
"It wasn't acceptable before to have multicultural friends?"
"Apparently not."
"But Jamal, we've been friends with Pierre and Hans and Padma and Xochitl for 15 years now, based on our similar interests and personalities, not because it's a trend. I wonder if Peter Goldberg has any multicultural friends."
"I doubt it."
Pop culture today rallies around an ethic of multicultural inclusion that seems to value every identity—except whiteness. "It’s become harder for the blond-haired, blue-eyed commercial actor," remarks Rochelle Newman-Carrasco, of the Hispanic marketing firm Enlace. "You read casting notices, and they like to cast people with brown hair because they could be Hispanic. The language of casting notices is pretty shocking because it's so specific: 'Brown hair, brown eyes, could look Hispanic.' Or, as one notice put it: 'Ethnically ambiguous.'"
Ethnically ambiguous usually translates to "light enough not to scare white people. But not white people like me. I'm one of the good ones! I'm not a racist. I just cater to the alleged racism of other people. Please don't hurt me!" For examples, please see Vanessa in Gossip Girl and Jennifer Beals's character in Flashdance (and Vin Diesel in general), both of whom had conveniently absent parents and no visible siblings, so that ethnic classification was impossible.
Furthermore, I do not understand how in an article about Barack Obama Mr. Hsu can seriously worry about laughable notion that there are fewer opportunities for white actors. Does he not know that every Saturday night, the almost entirely white male cast of SNL has their show open with Fred Armisen, made up in Angelina Jolie's brownface paint, playing a self-identified black man?
"I think white people feel like they’re under siege right now—like it's not okay to be white right now, especially if you’re a white male," laughs Bill Imada, of the IW Group. Imada and Newman-Carrasco are part of a movement within advertising, marketing, and communications firms to reimagine the profile of the typical American consumer. (Tellingly, every person I spoke with from these industries knew the Census Bureau’s projections by heart.)
"There’s a lot of fear and a lot of resentment," Newman-Carrasco observes, describing the flak she caught after writing an article for a trade publication on the need for more-diverse hiring practices. "I got a response from a friend—he's, like, a 60-something white male, and he’s been involved with multicultural recruiting,” she recalls. "And he said, 'I really feel like the hunted. It's a hard time to be a white man in America right now, because I feel like I’m being lumped in with all white males in America, and I've tried to do stuff, but it's a tough time.'"
"I always tell the white men in the room, 'We need you,'" Imada says. "We cannot talk about diversity and inclusion and engagement without you at the table. It's okay to be white!
"But people are stressed out about it. 'We used to be in control! We're losing control!'"
You know what I would tell them? Get over it. I would say it to their faces, too. Boo-hoo. You feel like you're "lumped in with all the white males in America"? Yeah, that's "tough". It's tough to be overrepresented in every boardroom, country club, television screen, movie screen, medical study, advertisement, book and magazine produced in the country you were born in. It's tough having one out of 44 leaders of your country, who has been in control for less than 100 days, not look exactly like you. What do you want, a cookie? Stop being so ignorant, and have some historical and cultural perspective.
“I get it: as a straight white male, I’m the worst thing on Earth,” Christian Lander says. Lander is a Canadian-born, Los Angeles–based satirist who in January 2008 started a blog called Stuff White People Like (stuffwhitepeoplelike.com), which pokes fun at the manners and mores of a specific species of young, hip, upwardly mobile whites. (He has written more than 100 entries about whites’ passion for things like bottled water, “the idea of soccer,” and “being the only white person around.”) At its best, Lander’s site—which formed the basis for a recently published book of the same name (reviewed in the October 2008 Atlantic)—is a cunningly precise distillation of the identity crisis plaguing well-meaning, well-off white kids in a post-white world.
“Like, I’m aware of all the horrible crimes that my demographic has done in the world,” Lander says. “And there’s a bunch of white people who are desperate—desperate—to say, ‘You know what? My skin’s white, but I’m not one of the white people who’s destroying the world.’”
For Lander, whiteness has become a vacuum. The “white identity” he limns on his blog is predicated on the quest for authenticity—usually other people’s authenticity. “As a white person, you’re just desperate to find something else to grab onto. You’re jealous! Pretty much every white person I grew up with wished they’d grown up in, you know, an ethnic home that gave them a second language. White culture is Family Ties and Led Zeppelin and Guns N’ Roses—like, this is white culture. This is all we have.”
Lander’s "white people” are products of a very specific historical moment, raised by well-meaning Baby Boomers to reject the old ideal of white American gentility and to embrace diversity and fluidity instead. (“It’s strange that we are the kids of Baby Boomers, right? How the hell do you rebel against that? Like, your parents will march against the World Trade Organization next to you. They’ll have bigger white dreadlocks than you. What do you do?”) But his lighthearted anthropology suggests that the multicultural harmony they were raised to worship has bred a kind of self-denial.
1. Christian Lander is Canadian; I thought we were talking about the United States.
2. "All" Christian Lander has is a multiple book deal, along with multiple mentions in popular, respected magazines like The Atlantic, or lesser known publications like The Boston Globe or The Los Angeles Times or The New York Times or CNN.
So, what's your damage, Heather?
Matt Wray, a sociologist at Temple University who is a fan of Lander's humor, has observed that many of his white students are plagued by a racial-identity crisis: "They don’t care about socioeconomics; they care about culture. And to be white is to be culturally broke. The classic thing white students say when you ask them to talk about who they are is, 'I don't have a culture.' They might be privileged, they might be loaded socioeconomically, but they feel bankrupt when it comes to culture … They feel disadvantaged, and they feel marginalized. They don’t have a culture that’s cool or oppositional." Wray says that this feeling of being culturally bereft often prevents students from recognizing what it means to be a child of privilege—a strange irony that the first wave of whiteness-studies scholars, in the 1990s, failed to anticipate.
"Culture" doesn't pay the rent or put food on my family. Additionally, not all white people are culturally broke, privileged or loaded socioeconomically. Matt Wray should speak with Rochelle Newman-Carrasco's white male friend, because as that friend told us, white people are not all the same.
. . . we aspire to be post-racial, but we still live within the structures of privilege, injustice, and racial categorization that we inherited from an older order. We can talk about defining ourselves by lifestyle rather than skin color, but our lifestyle choices are still racially coded. We know, more or less, that race is a fiction that often does more harm than good, and yet it is something we cling to without fully understanding why—as a social and legal fact, a vague sense of belonging and place that we make solid through culture and speech.
But maybe this is merely how it used to be—maybe this is already an outdated way of looking at things. "You have a lot of young adults going into a more diverse world," [Karl Carter, of Atlanta’s youth-oriented GTM Inc. (Guerrilla Tactics Media)] remarks. For the young Americans born in the 1980s and 1990s, culture is something to be taken apart and remade in their own image. "We came along in a generation that didn't have to follow that path of race," he goes on. "We saw something different." This moment was not the end of white America; it was not the end of anything. It was a bridge, and we crossed it.
It would be nice if that bridge was available to the many colorful students who are stuck in failing schools that were made worse by No Child Left Behind, or if it were available to those kids who can't escape the institutional poverty and/or racism that plagues them every day.
I leave you with a group of individuals on their own bridge, from Gs to Gents.
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Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Somebody was in Emergency, Somebody just got out of Jail
I considered reserving judgment about this situation until more evidence was in. However, as I read through the comments on Defamer and Racialicious and Jezebel and other blogs, I thought of the West Wing episode that inspired the name of this post.
Rihanna had to be hospitalized due to her injuries, including a black eye as well as "a swollen split lip and two red and purple contusions on either side of her forehead." Chris Brown is free after posting bail, with no reported injuries. Unless Rihanna fell out of Chris's car during a high speed chase, rolled down a hill and waved her fingers at a hungry animal, I don't know what other evidence is necessary to determine that something very wrong happened early Sunday morning.
I never downloaded or purchased any Chris Brown songs, so I don't have any to delete or destroy.
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Monday, February 09, 2009
The best part of The L Word
Love love love. Someday, I will be able to afford my own kid.
The worst part of The L Word? Shenny. That couple is made of Fail. I don't even have Showtime anymore, but the thought of Jenny and Shane getting together still makes me cringe.
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Saturday, February 07, 2009
My favorite part of Super Bowl Sunday
It was Super Special indeed. Thank you, Sarah Haskins!
The video is 48 minutes and nine seconds long, so pace yourself.
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"You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition at."
I loved this episode! My favorite quote of many:
Tracy, regarding the new former-investment-banker interns: "I have a rep to maintain. If I can't keep up with a bunch of Wall Street frat boys . . . Uh oh. Here come the roofies."
And one more!
Tracy: "So if I'm going to keep my hilarious reputation, these interns got to go!"
Kenneth: "But where? They don't know how to do anything. And there are no jobs left on Wall Street."
Hee! Also, more Jonathan please!
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Saturday, January 31, 2009
Black history is Everyone's history.
Thank you, VH1. And thank you, Ray J:
He's a multi-platinum singer/songwriter? Really?
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009
"The Republicans are going to get clobbered by African Americans?"
Yes, Stephen. You should be afraid of black people.
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Saturday, January 24, 2009
Snowmen (and snowwomen) are round and lovable.
They don't need the Special K challenge. So step off, kid.
That little girl needs to watch some Sarah Haskins before she starts dieting in five years.
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What it feels like for a girl
As you readers know, I love The Office. It is Thursday night appointment television. As you also know, I am most openly critical of the things that I love. Hence, my feelings about this week's episode, "Prince Family Paper." Half of the episode was an homage to the failed ABC series, Are You Hot?. While Michael and Dwight were away, the rest of the office debated whether Hilary Swank was hot or not. This took up their entire day.
For many viewers, I'm sure this seemed like a yet another typical office discussion that went on for too long. For me, it was yet another reminder of the impossible standards by which even highly successful women are judged. It also reminded me that all of the writers on The Office are probably male (and white) [Edit, 1/24/2009: Except for Mindy Kaling. Thanks, molecularshyness!], which results in most of the stories centering around average-looking guys judging and hooking up with women waaay out of their league (I'm looking at you, Kevin).
Hilary Swank has won two Oscars. Yet her worth, as described by one of America's most influential television programs, comes down to whether she is hot or not. I have never heard anyone question or even mention the hotness quotient of the similarly-accoladed Tom Hanks, Jack Nicholson or Dustin Hoffman (who still gets to star in movies with a woman 20 years younger than he is). Instead, I get to hear the most powerful woman in the world worry about the fact that she currently weighs 200 pounds, and let that fact overshadow her billion-dollar empire or her hand in electing Barack Obama to the presidency of the United States.
The episode also reminded me of a conversation I had this week that went like this:
Gentleman 1: Have you met Sally yet?
Gentleman 2: No, I still haven't met her. Everyone keeps telling me about her.
Me: She was at the party last Friday.
Gentleman 2: That's what I heard.
Gentleman 1: She is bangin'.
Gentleman 2: I know. That's what I keep hearing.
Me: She's a nice lady. And she has a very successful career.
Gentleman 2: I can't tell anything from that. But "bangin'" I understand.
Lovely.
Before that conversation, I was having a happy, confident day. I was still rolling, jazzed from one of my friends stating that if she were a gentleman, she would date me because I'm nice, knowledgeable, kindhearted and friendly. I refrained myself from joking than we should get a timeshare in Provincetown and instead said, "thank you." I told her that wish more guys would appreciate those qualities in me and share her sentiments, but all they care about is hotness. She said, "No, you will be successful with gentlemen." Since she was so certain, I believed her for a few hours and thought I was so cool. Now, not so much anymore. Even in an era where I can realistically aspire to be President. Or rather, first lady.
It doesn't matter if you're Fred Savage's dorky character on Working or the super popular Bright from Everwood. All that matters to guys, regardless of orientation, is hot. Then when they get hot, they're disappointed because they also got shallow. What did you expect, doofus? Like I'm supposed to have sympathy for your poor choices? I don't think so. Or, in the words of Cher Horowitz, as if.
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Thursday, January 22, 2009
Still my #1 blog crush:
With my luck, Mr. Smooth is probably married with two kids. Because that's how I roll. :|
Don't worry, I still heart you, too, J G-L, aka, the only reason to watch this summer's G.I. Joe.
If only Mr. Samberg had a blog.
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"Yes, I thought I'd live to see this day."
I thought I had made that clear with my Morgan Freeman references. So you can stop asking us that question any time now.
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Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I was considering live-blogging the inauguration.
Then I realized I had no concept of time, or proximity to a computer and a television set during the event. Oh well.
For some reason, I now want to watch a marathon of Extras. This is largely due to my viewing the Ricky Gervais episode of Inside the Actors Studio last night. So.
Hooray for the USA! And for round, British comedians.
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Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
"Is this too close?" "Is that inappropriate?"
Yes. And yes. Those two need to meet Chet from The Real World: Brooklyn:
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Saturday, January 17, 2009
I can finally talk with most of my friends.
How did we communicate before Barack Obama? Oh yeah, through television.
Talk About Race? Relax, It’s O.K., by Sarah Kershaw, New York Times via Jezebel.
. . . over the last few months, both Mr. Rice and Ms. Knox, who live in Washington, have been struck by the slight easing of these examples of what psychologists describe as "interracial anxiety" between blacks and whites. That is because there is a now an omnipresent icebreaker: Barack Obama.
"There’s a more readily accessible conduit into the conversation about race if it begins with Barack Obama," said Mr. Rice, the executive director of the Association of Public-Safety Communications Officials — International, a professional law enforcement group. "In my experience over the last few months, it’s easier because it’ll begin with who he is, the differences between his parents, what he had to deal with." . . .
. . . "Before Obama, there was always this thing — 'He's a black doctor,'" Mr. Jackson said. “But now I’m going to be a physician who also happens to be black. That’s become the perception now, which is really nice." . . .
. . . On the morning after the election, Kristin Rothballer, 36, who lives in San Francisco, kissed her female partner goodbye on the train while commuting to work. A black woman who sat down next to her turned and said she was sorry that Proposition 8, the amendment to ban gay marriage in the state, looked like it was going to pass.
"We grabbed hands," Ms. Rothballer recalled. "And I said, 'Well, I really want to congratulate you because we have a black president and that’s amazing.'"
"Our conversation then almost became about the fact that we were having the conversation," she said.
Something moved her to apologize to the black woman for slavery. [Readers, do not do this.]
"For two strangers riding a train to Oakland to have that conversation about race, it wouldn't have been possible if Obama hadn't been elected," she said. 'I always felt open with my colleagues, but to say to a stranger on the train, 'Hey, I’m sorry about slavery,' that just doesn’t happen."
It's too bad that with Bill Richardson gone, I still can't talk with my Latino friends. I doubt I'll ever be able to talk with my Asian friends, or to my friends who don't fit into the ethnic roles designated by the U.S. Census.
Also, this article was in the Fashion & Style section of the New York Times. I guess black is the new black. Oy.
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Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
A bundle of contradictions
I like to encourage my friends, acquaintances and relative strangers to take classes at the gym like I do. Like Step, Kickboxing, Body Sculpting, Hip Hop, Yoga.
Yet when New Year's rolls around, the inner conflict begins. New people with clichéd resolutions to eat less and exercise more fill the studio to the bursting point. With so many people punching and kicking in such a small space, I often fear taking a Puma to the head. I resent all these fairweather athletes taking up room in my regular classes.
Then one by one, sometimes two at a time, these new people either get bored or frustrated by the complex and demanding combinations. So they leave. And I feel bad. I don't like when people feel discouraged. I want to tell them, "hang in there, kid."
However, once they leave, there is a lot room to move around. So.
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Friday, January 09, 2009
What I have to look forward to
[photo by Anne Terada]if I marry a Beatle or a President-elect or an adulterous senator or a former MBA in charge of Operations:
Yoko Ono: A Feminist Analysis (Addendum: Just Like Starting Over), by Cara at The Curvature.
The kind of hate we see for Yoko, we still see today for other powerful women married to men of great influence. Hillary Clinton gets the Yoko treatment when people claim that her marriage to Bill is all a sham intended to bolster her political career, and when Bill was derided for working with Hillary on policy issues. Michelle Obama gets the Yoko treatment when people suggest that she has too much influence over Barack’s decisions, up to and including pushing those she doesn’t like out of the picture, and when Barack is criticized for having a wife with her own opinions. Everything old is new again . . .
. . . And what of her own work? In virtually every article I’ve ever read about one of her art shows or peace initiatives, she is either discussed in relation to her late husband, or defended with the proclamation that she is more than John Lennon’s widow. How absurd that this point need be hammered home.
Also, that chessboard with all white pieces and squares is not only a replica of one of Yoko Ono's most famous works. It is also a cake. Cake!
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Thursday, January 08, 2009
I'm not "aggressive",
but I do give off a "nerdy vibe." I would totally date a small, clever UN officer, and I can find the Brooklyn Bridge.
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