Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Angry Little Girl

This no-lip-balm-for-two-weeks thing isn't going so well. I am now empathizing with smokers who try to quit the cancer sticks cold turkey. I feel like I'm on that episode of The Real World: Hawaii, where Kaia and that dyed-blond, sickly looking law student, who later leaves the show (Justin?) embark on a weekend fast. They forego all nourishment for two days, except for this revolting liquid concoction made of eggs, lemon and cayenne pepper, that they got from some book. It makes as much sense as my going off lip balm for two weeks after reading rumors about ChapStick addiction on the internet.

My lips are all tender and swollen, and not in a good way. They're dry and ashy, and they're starting to break. I didn't think this would have an effect on the rest of my physiology. How wrong I was. The dehydration in my lips is causing me to be more irritable towards things that bug me. For instance, right now I'm hungry. And I'm a little tired. And my braces are hurting. Normally I'd be okay. But today, I could choke someone, if I had the energy.

I'm thinking this might be a placebo effect, in that I can't reach for my binkie in my pocket to comfort me like I used to. Maybe the previously omnipresent ChapStick was used out of habit, not because I needed it that much. But I am also thinking that the makers of said product add crack to the formula. I have said the same things about Sierra Mist and Starbucks coffee at points in my life. Sierra Mist, no. But I'd put big money on the crack in Starbucks theory. I know there are at least two different alcohols in ChapStick Regular Lip Balm, including cetyl alcohol and oleyl alcohol. Not only do those dry out your lips, they could contribute to the addictive quality of the product. Or maybe the addiction comes from any of the chemicals I could identify if I googled them but won't since I don't have the will to do so, including arachidyl propionate, isopropyl lanolate, isopropyl myristate, methylparaben, octyldodecanol, phenyl methicone, propylparaben, titanium dioxide. That's in addition to the D&C red no. 6 barium lake and FD&C yellow no. 5 aluminum lake, artificial colorings that I have seen first hand have an adverse effect on people.

So. Only 12 more full days to go. Why am I doing this again?

No comments: